Recent researches, psychology and biology have pointed out many differences between men and women that can help us understand them both in a better way. Sometimes the main reason communication problems happen between men and women is that they don’t quite understand the differences between themselves well. Had men and women understood their psychological and biological differences they would have understood each other better and less problems would have happened between them. In this article I will point out some of the major psychological and biological differences between men and women. Major differences between men & women:
1. Communication skills & body language:
The communication center inside a woman’s brain is much larger than the communication center inside a man’s brain. Women are generally better able to process words and to use language than men provided that all other factors are constant. Women pay special attention to words, read in between lines and can notice the body language of people along with their facial expressions in a much better way than men.
2. Sharing vs problem solving:
Men in general are more independent than women. They even prefer to solve their problems alone without talking about them. Women on the other hand become distressed if they didn’t share their problems with their friends even if their friends weren’t able to provide solutions. This is a famous point of conflict where a woman tells her man about a problem with the intention of sharing it with him then becomes surprised by the man’s single line answer (which is intended to provide a solution to the problem). This is also the reason why women go to bathroom in groups, they just like to share the experience of the day together in a place where no man can watch them.
3. Attraction and sex:
The area inside the brain responsible for sexual desire is much bigger inside the man’s brain and as a result: 1) Men think about sex more often than women; 2) Men care about looks much more than women care about looks; 3) Men can easily get attached to a woman just because she looks hot. In my book “How to make someone fall in Love with You,” I said that women do care about looks as well as other important personality traits and resources while men idolize physical looks and can sacrifice many other traits for the sake of getting along with the most attractive woman.
4. Aggression vs diplomacy:
Women are biologically wired to avoid conflict unless some other psychological factor comes into play and affects their original nature (such as hating their identity). Men on the other hand are much more aggressive in general. Researches have shown that men are better than women in recognizing angry faces and this enables them to quickly notice their opponents. A typical woman would try to avoid conflict and maintain peace while a typical man will hardly back off if someone threatened or challenged him.
5. Logical thinking vs emotional thinking:
Men in general can take decisions without being emotionally affected that much, while women in general take into consideration other factors that are related to emotions that most men overlook.
Over generalization and psychological differences between men and women
I know that at this point you might want to tell me that you know a woman who is aggressive or a man who takes emotional decisions instead of logical ones. The differences I discussed above are the factory settings or the initial programming that both men and women are created with. Because of the external influences that latter affect the development of their personalities some men and women override their initial programming and act against their nature.
How life experiences can override the psychological nature of men and women
For example a girl who was raised in a family that didn’t make her feel that she was loved might grow to become an aggressive woman just because she thinks that everyone around her is her enemy. Here is another example, women are biologically wired to seek protection and to become attracted to the most resourceful man who can provide protection. Now if a woman had a severe self image problem then this instruction inside her mind might get overwritten and she might find herself attracted to the most hand-some man with disregard to his status. In such a case winning the heart of the attractive man will prove to her that she is attractive and will help her feel good about her looks. In summary, the factory default settings of men and women can sometimes be overridden by external influences.