Finally, my mind is still … I am in SHOCK.. and so Happy that my mind isnt so busy this has pretty much taken me years to at last be able to understand it, feel the difference in the zero noice factor that I was so used to hearing but, never realised this busy mind that I had was making me feel drained..
I have been on my own personal journey of growth and understanding alone with my husband but, for me I had no idea I had so much to deal with and so much to understand and so much to realise it and allow me to go… let it go…
Two years actually nearly 3 years oh gosh, however, it really doesnt matter how long it takes to grow and move forward with a better understanding of your own needs and the people around you.
My husband has this annoying ability to get things so easily but, for me it wasnt that easy it was like learning the most harded language on this earth.
Language, patience (can’t believe I am saying this) and alot of tears on all sides (which I do thank those who cared enough much love always xxx) that it is worth it..
I have gone back to areas of my life which I had thought I dealt with and discovered that those areas needed to be revisted and rewritten to the point of me realising that …. finally I get it.. once you do this like revisit with a open mind without judgement and a paced understanding you realise the volisty of a situation can be lighter than you once thought..
For example, when your a child you recall everything bigger right and when you revisit say the same place you once remembered a river but, in fact it was a well..
That above example is very lightly said, and of course there are some areas of hurt that you do not want to revisit in such depth. I suggest that if you needed to you must do this with a credited counselor or psycholigist because if the trauma was about abused based and this created another area of your life to be further stressed or dramatically draining for you. The only way this can change is seeking help from a counselor which in fact I can recommend one too you if you like or if you live in Perth, Australia I will add his facebook page to this blog page – go on there and add him as a friend he is very good with PTSD and will look after you.
If you are suffering from PTSD please visit this facebook page
But, let’s get back to what I was saying about busy little beez wax mind sets
Do you ever feel like your mind is so full that it’s hard to focus?
You’ve got a ton on your plate to get done and that clock went from 10am to 4pm ??
Your mind is spinning and you can’t concentrate.
You move from task to task without finishing anything.
The more you worry about how much time you’re wasting, the more paralyzed you feel.
This is what I could finally see as I continue with my own Journey I had no idea that I had got myself into such a rutt that everything STOPPED.. and I was STUCK!!
So, those feelings above is REAL as I said, I had felt all those points above and even more I will explain further..
Your stress level is real.
When you’re in this place, focused action is not just difficult, it’s almost impossible.
Everything takes longer than you expect.
Every time you look at the clock, you feel frustrated because you’ve been trying for hours to concentrate, but between the stopping and starting, the breaks to fill up your coffee, tea, water, and get a snack (and tidy up the island counter while you’re in the kitchen), you can’t get anything done.
My MIND has stopped to a horrizontal, ridged HALT and I had no idea that this was happening or did I? I could see with my eyes my home wasnt getting cleaned, I had lost that ability to see things that I was so festidious in doing and also enjoying that I was totally and utterly BLIND, why did this occur I will tell you why in a moment and how to fix it slowly as nothing happens over night.. then suddenly this surge of thought hit my head with a husband saying to me go to the doctor, and another girl friend saying you need to see a doctor..
Of course I ignored them because I had a answer for everything and a stubborn ASS that kept saying tomorrow I will go.. I then discovered this…
I was stuck, stuck, STUCK!!!
And guess what if you understand the above then so are you STUCK
The slightest noise or tiniest thought distracts me
You feel a bit claustrophobic thinking about or not thinking about that tomorrow will do
You promise yourself that this is the last time you’ll wait to the 11th hour before getting your butt into gear to something proactive
You find yourself having more towels to wash, a house that looked like the ass end of a temor and that you had not made a meal in weeks or even months because you just didnt or the time run out..
You’re then find out your stuck and knee deep in so much shit that you cannot even admit it to yourself.. so you then go.. How did I get here??
Well, lovely people most people have either been there or are going through it in their lives and they will go through it more and more if you dont do something about it..
So, I am going to share some valuable steps that may help you slow it down and chilax and perhaps if you repeat this over and over for many months you will see it less and less…. ok ready..
Step 1 …. Let’s remove that Mental Rubbish that seems to be in your head…
- It starts with decluttering your brain
- My personal recommendations that have worked and are still working for me.. this BLOG, has been amazing help for me.. but, before this blog was A FEW things.. let me explain..
- Get a notebook (because putting it in a book is very therepudic, you can go to the park and write in it which does two things takes you out of your home and puts you into a frame of less stress.
- Write, write, nothing you write is going to make you feel ashamed because frankly it isnt anyones business.. these are your own personal feelings.. and you have the right to feel them.. good, bad if you wish or incredibly wrong.. now this could be actually good.. lol
Some people can learn easier by seeing things visually both men and women have this quality visual understanding.. so, my huband said, let’s go on Tumblr together and as we where going through a few growth spirts in our “together understanding” and of course our own individual understands he was referring to our sexual emotion growth.
He came up with putting picture of what moved us sexually it started slow but, to be perfectly honest it was amazing and worked fantastically.. how it worked was he would put pictures that turned him on and I would do the same thing..
Then at the end of the week we would go through them and communciation with each other what it was about them that we liked..
As you can understant I learnt alot .. so did he.. about me and me about him…
This is what I learned about my husband and men
- Men like porn picture very explicit and very graphic
- Me, well mine was of Art sexual Art but, as I am female I saw this still as sexual..both meaning the same just different…
Funny, it raised a few issues, it does forse you to ask the questions that you may not have asked in the beginning.. of suddenly realising that we both see the same thing but, both picked pictures that looked were simular but, both different in content.. in other words..
Men are very visual and very straight to the piont.. and after time I got it.. And so they should be..
And women, well most women, not really me.. however, tend to be a little more polite until it becomes a competition or they grow together by being braver.. and laughing about what each other likes, its really that simple..
The aim of the game with growing as a couple is that you cannot grow without letting go of judgement and being open minded and not reative to his needs… MEN love attention MEN, love Valedation… and MEN love us doing it to them..
WHY the HELL NOT…. ????
I totally agree… I love, loving great loving beautiful deep down kind souls with a Male Ego that not overly done but, shit that stuff does it for me.. PRIDE and Ego is something a man requires… and as time goes by they want us to give it to them and why NOT…
Step 2… Music is amazing.. also Visual declutter will also be therupic
- Auditory.. if you love music then listen to it while you do study or washing up or even cooking it will motivate you..
- Music can motivate you to be active which means going outside and do some gardening while listening to your own music..
- Men if you are fixing something in the mancave then turn that volume up and tap that foot while continueing what your doing this is excellent tool to allowing that noice the clatter in your heard to disappear…
- Or you need to go to the deli or supermarket then pop on those head phones and runners and do both.. change your environment, get a little exercise and listen to your favourate music..
Step 3.. Remember Do one thing at a TIME…
- If your stressed about work then do the above and once you return from that walk then continue with a better frame.. it will slighting be lighter.. each time you do this it will decrease this noise and the mind being so loud…
- Nothing ever happens over night.. Remember that.. so chilax, give yourself a positive frame and say to yourself… Well, Rome wasnt built in a day and look it’s still there and wow isnt it Beautiful, what I am trying to say with a giggle is dont be so hard on yourself.. we all have been exactly there.. and as time passes and if you slow it down and remember those 3 little steps of changing your frame or mind set by going for a walk, gardening, tumblr, notebook or even like me this BLOG.. then well, your not doing so bad now are you…
Remember your mind will repeat this again and again, beacause everyone on this earth has the same wiring as you do… STOP THINKING negitive.. and start rewiring your brain to like you, to say it’s okay to feel and be whatever you want to be, and give yourself a pat of the back for living to your age right now…
So, many don’t last as long as your current age and I have to say that saddens me… we must allow ourselves to STOP this bullshit angry, fast pased, negitive, judgmental thought process of not allowing ourselves to be kinder.. be a little less harsh on yourself and let me just say.. those bills will still be there tomorrow.. so just relax a bit..
Stress, Anxiety, work, family, sex, partners, kids, dogs, rates, morgages, will always always be either a happy feeling or a stressed feeling.. We have 1 life.. ladies and gents..
So, please… just chill out.. SMILE, LOVE, HUG, and appreciate those who really do love you AND, let yourself be you… because honeykins.. you are one hell of a Beautiful human being… and that is a bloody FACT…
So, I hope this has helped someone… feel a little less stressed and a little bit happier.. SMILE, LIVE and LOVE… and please Laugh… because that is the Key of Youth!!!
Please if you like this.. comment… most people just like.. I would love to hear your thoughts…