The psychology of ignoring or Giving someone a Cold Shoulder!!

Could not help myself… just wondering if I am annoying or being ignored??

So I did some research on reasons why I am getting ignored.. or oops I should say why people are ignoring me.. I mean you know what I mean..hehehe

b8fc75f7dcb5cdd570ddce30036b932f

You know what they say… TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT!!

Hehehehehe

As a psychiatrist I find that one of the commonest reasons for patients to have depression and anxiety is being ignored by someone important in their life.

The silent treatment or cold shoulder as its more popularly is when someone stops talking, starts ignoring and avoids social interactions with you.

Its one of the most ancient forms of psychological techniques used to express discontent against someone not listening or full-filling your expectations.

One of the most common uses of the same is a parent ignoring a naughty kid.

In modern day, it has transformed from a simple psychological technique to a form of “psychological manipulation”.

Why is Silent treatment so important?

The success and happiness of most human being depends on society. How they are treated by their parents, spouses, relatives, friends, boss, fellow employees, etc.

The more importance a particular relationship has, the more the power of the silent treatment.

For example – when the ambani brothers were giving each other a cold shoulder during social gatherings it became instant national news.
Or
Actors who dislike each other, decide to ignore the presence of the other.
Why is silent treatment done?
Why do people tend to ignore others –

a. its a way to hurt other person without indulging in aggressive behavior.
b. one gets an excuse to avoid caring, respect or value of the other person.
c. Sensitive personalities are easily hurt and its the worst form of emotional abuse they are subjected to.. it instantly shows in their behavior.
d. The perpetrator can easily see the depression, restlessness, anger and low self-esteem it causes in the victim.

How to Dealing with it?
From my personal experience of counseling patients regarding how to deal with silent treatment, here are few tips

  1. Initial reaction – the initial reaction of most people is frustration, anger, gossip, spreading bad words about the perpetrator.
    This eventually leads the mind into a state of negativity, and creates an ego battle that cannot be resolved soon.

  2. First step is too cool yourself.

  3. Don’t try to read the mind of the perpetrator – don’t spend hours thinking why it is happening.
    If you know the cause, then its great.
    If you don’t know the cause, then keep quiet.

  4. Don’t give the silent treatment back.

  5. Lower your ego – in this ego game, people spend years not talking to each other. Its not worth it. Its not about who won or who lost.
    Be the first to extend you arm – ask why is the other person behaving in such a way with you.
  • tell them you care about them, and if they want some space of their own.. you will be more than happy to give to them.
  • – tell them that all communication lines are open with you, and encourage them to talk to you.
  • – if they still don’t want to talk to you – then accept that they are being childish.
  • – try and let go as best as you can.

Focus the least you can on him/her.

I see……. okay I will… when they decide to stop ignoring me… I care… . however, oh never mind.. keep on ignorning me.. I am better at this GAME…
See what occurrs childish games… go and listen to the bloody music.. dumb ass

MIND MANTRA – IGNORING SOMEONE IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL GAME- if you stop playing your part of the game by not focusing on him/her and not getting angry, you might not be able to change their behavior, but you can detach yourself from the negative effects of the same.

written by –

Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)

7 Comments

          1. gilmarlee

            Thats okay too because we all have room for improvement I totally relate. I’m a bit blunt for everyone’s liking I tend to offend people by telling them how it is. It’s exhausting to know you always hurt others with your words. I need to work on that

            Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.