Archive for July 2018

Adults are like a kid in the Candy Store!

Hey Candii here,

Finding that perfect fit!!

Peoples Journey in life weather your single or married we all are drawn to each other for the greater good which is made up of many reasons this could be, companionship, love, friendships, desire, lust, sex, whatever, it maybe that we want others to be part of us.

Marriage, after years of being together, wanting to reconnect that spark in our eyes, hearts, body, whatever it maybe it is all about connecting with another or others that have the same like as we do in life.

I have noticed as you get older your thoughts, feelings, understand, knowledge does refine with time so you discover that friends come and go or they stay or they either go and come back, you get my drift we are all moving individuals that love our privacy sometimes, then we change our minds and want friendships again we are all different and we all want change.

Get that we all want change!?  How funny!

Many of us never think and stop and go oh, I get it, now , woops!

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We are a funny mob of people I am not sure that your aware our likes are very simular to our likes when we are younger I guess we become less aware of this and more aware of what is lacking within ourselves or others that you expect to love us regardless of time or age.

What we forget so quickly is our behaviour of more is like a child in a Candy store, funny I say it like that, but, it is true our eyes widen, our smiles are brighter, and when  you see new and beautiful flavours well, it’s a kid you need to hold back cuz, they are going to get to it before anyone else does!!

Living and Loving are simple beautiful and rewarding emotions right!  So, I think if you try something new on something old like yourself or those you love and care about don’t you think that is a better idea than trying something that could possibly hurt you or those you love?

I have researched a few dating sites and let me tell you not so easy being single let alone married, being married even makes you look more popular?? Go Figure!

tumblr_nedx4rc4mo1s0jihho1_400  I did think why and now I understand a little better how we all look for that added spice and I get it… I would even do it myself with of course my hubby however, even I have limitations to my heart, soul and most of all my head space.  I am too much in love with people and how they tick and why and when I guess we all have our own idea of what spice is best to add to our dishes…

Remember couples, singles, my motto is “if it doesnt fit, don’t try and make it fit”


I guess the trick is be true to yourself just because Wendy, Alley, Fred is doing it, doesn’t mean you should or if you like it try it and another one if you want to hear it…. Always try before you buy that is my motto…

Each to their own.. not my business…. so enjoy your life and take the time to work it out, it’s not easy but, for some well, it’s like I said, the Candy store is full of wonderous things if you look for them!

Empowerment of ourselves, embrace your positive and live your life fully!

When I say “Empowerment” this word and for what it means is inspiring to say the least it is a strong, defined, taylored, respectful, encouraging, uplifting, endless and unlimited word not to mention how it makes you feel when you wish this to be about you or those who should strive for inner strength.

Empowerment, is many things however, it is based on your own inner strength and of course how you interpret this word about yourself.

For me it means respecting my ownself, having a certain level of understanding, being a empowered women means I have my values that I believe in and always have, I have the ability to listen, be educated or at least educate myself to understand myself, others and subjects that can help people with gaining a inner belief that, “you can do it”, you have what it takes to be the best you can be, it’s more about having self belief in “you, really’.

Empowerment of young women is very important as you grow up to be a adult, the journey as a female as we all know can and will possibly break that spirit that we are born it’s untapped energy, beauty, a spirit of wonderment and beauty.

I think this strong defined word starts from when you are born and it should be taught to all gorgeous little curious girls when they are young, the reason I believe this is because as girls we all have so many experiences that we will endure as we age.

With our society the expectations of some of us can be overwelming and a little bit stressful, we all don’t have perfect families that are supportive however, that is the area that I would like to firstly look at, as we are born female the expectations of us on beauty, trends, peir pressures, popularity, we have so many levels of “what girls are expected to be, do and maintain a sense of what others think we should be as a female it can and will become very stressful, tiring, as you grow in this harsh world of judgement and over annalised koas of rules in life.

So, how do we do this and when should we start teaching this to girls?

I think it should be a separate class just for girls and it should be taught by open minded, caring women who have walked in their shoes or could walk in their shoes, it should be taught with many different enspiring levels of females with a empathy of understanding just how life really can be.

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I also believe in “honesty”, a womens word, a sister-hood of respecting other women, a openness of humility, empathy, sympathy, with all fellow other sisters.

I am going to be very brutal and say this, “we do not look after each other’s sisters”, we grow and discover each and every female will turn on you because of their own insecurities of their own inner doubt in believing in themselves.

I have often reflected over my years on this earth growing up as a little girl and I have to say it was tough at times, we really had to fight to be listened to, we really had to step back because others were either bigger, meaner, louder, ruder, more knowledge of understanding, it was like “Hello, I do exisit on this planet” and that was just to be heard within a group.

As we get older as a young girl going through puberty we then get educated of what our bodies can do, and let me say this ladies, we are remarkable human beings!

I am going to list the endless strengths of what a female is capable of doing and this is just being girl.

Here are some amazing, inspiring basic and most of all darn right deserving of what a female is… her self worth is formost and these are only just a few reminders.

  • Our bodies are beautifully designed
  • We have soft voices and even some have the ability to sing
  • We have many different attributes of our sexual body like, boobs, lovely shaped hips, we can grow our hair long, curl it, cut it, we can wear pants, any clothing we want and when we want.
  • We can create human beings, beautiful life and that in it’s self is a gift a present that no other person is created like us!
  • We can educate ourselves to strive in work, be bosses to once upon a time did not exisit for us as females
  • We can educate our children by giving then the best possibilities that any human can deliver which is love, understanding, respect, and self worth, how to be the best we can be
  • We all have voices our voices can be heard more now than ever
  • We have rights, we are designed to live longer than men
  • We nurture, we educate, we love, we cry, we support, we also  can be many other things in this life
  • We have the ability to calm you, delight you and of course annoy you
  • We are unique in everyway
  • There is no other like us in this world inside our souls
  • We have the abilty to listen, understand, nurture, sympathise with others and ourselves

I could go on and on about how uniquely creatured a female is on this earth it is limitless on the possibilities of each and every beautiful women has and the sad thing not all of us believe this about us!

Why do you think that is?


Well, many reasons, some are and I am only going to list a few there is an old saying, you can’t pick your family, now can you?

What this means is not all children come from good backgrounds, solid foundations are created by having solid foundations, this means it has to be consistantly taught by mothers, grandmothers, greatgrandmothers, fathers, etc.. and not everyone has every person in their family as a solid perfect role model, that is just not possible!

I get it!
I do understand it, however, you are not them you are you!

We are all uniquely wired, which means you could through a jar of hundreds of thousands into a bowl of icecream and the result is this, it is just random colors that we add into a flavoursome treat to give it taste!

What that basically means your future is yours to make, change, enhance, grow, do whatever you wish to or be whatever you wish to be, this is about your lessons, your decisions, based on what you only know!

Remember if you didnt do something well, then learn what it was you didnt do and always, always, let the bad feeling go!

Children tend to blame themselves when mum and dad argue, they get so upset seeing them fight with each other, the reason they do is this, you are everything to them in their young eyes, you are pure love to them anything you do with your kids are watched and learned by your kids!

You are their teachers of what to expect in the future of themselves, isnt that scary when you think about that!!

The hardest lessons in life is to have the ability to be kind to each other, now you would think that should not be said in a sentence, well, I just did, kindness comes from within, and is taught very young in your childrens lives you are their teachs of what is good, what is bad, what is right, wrong, etc…

When young people have young babies they better understand this, you be accountable for you, and if by any chance you have a child young, understand this “you being a child has gone and you must now be a teacher for that child you decided to bring into this life”!


In many cases of theraphy in listening to those who are struggling the result normally is this, “your family is the result of your depression, or your upbring, or a uncle, aunty did something to you when you where young”.

Yes, all those terrible things may have happened to you, now you have understood where it comes from what are you going to do for yourself to mend going forward?

My answer is this, understand it, learn from it and learn how to let it go from your thoughts, this is very important to listen to just this part of this post, I will say it again, understand your grief, and then learn from it and the…


To understand this thought, is to take you back to when you where a child, now children fall off a bike and scape their knee, okay, fine, it happened a week later its gone!

I child is crying and sees something that distracts them suddenly, what occurs is the tears have suddenly gone and why they where crying has been removed!

Watch your kids when something arises watch how quick they let things go, now as a adult we repress ourselves to the point of going silent, what then occurs is this!!

We withdraw, we loose that valuable gift of choice, we end up depressed, having anxiety and suddenly we don’t understand how we got here in the first place!  Life is about living and learning, if we do not learn and understand the rights and wrongs of our lessons then we will never grow and live a full life, right!

We also need to give ourselves a bit of a pat on the back from time to time, which we dont in some cases!

Remember, change is as sudden as saying hello, it is that easy….

However, if you do not learn from how you got here, which means you must understand trauma, is a terrible, aweful experience, and it isnt your fault, that you went through it, even by some reason you think you are to blame!

When you don’t know something, you just planely don’t know….

So, my advise is to give yourself a break and do yourself a favour and invest in “you”, invest in helping yourself through bad thoughts in your head about yourself, if you are having these thoughts, find help!

Have you ever had that moment of Oh my god!

Think of that your reading the news and you read about your favourate sports star, movie star, and you read something that you never thought possible could ever happen to them!


Tony Robins,

  • his childhood was dredful, negitive, abusive, if you search for him on google and listen to his advise on how to raise children, he says, never say to children aim for perfection it’s an unrealistic goal, this word does not exisit, your setting your children up for a life of never feeling they are ever good enough, you must use words of encouragement, tell your children that they are loved, valued, that they are doing a great job, and always use praise with them they will take those beautiful words into adulthood and when ready they will also do the same for their own children.

I agree!

Remember, we are uniquely created, so make your life worth live and embrace what has not yet come, has not yet taught you, and should always be a life worth living with embracing your empowerment by being true to yourself and everyday will be a new beginning.

Living a life with a curious and free spirit is living a day like it is your first!

Let go of your negitive and embrace each moment as it is.. new and beautiful!

Love Candii xxx


What are your values?

A friend asked me once “what are your values?”

I had forgotten what that really means and I had them all along!!!

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Oh, wow, this is something I have had within me since time began, however, how did I forget about them?! 

Did I forget what my self-worth was once?

Did it slip my mind?

I wonder sometimes how on earth something so embedded deep inside you ends up “missing for action”?

My values, are to be kind to myself and others to understand what the difference between what is right and what is definitely wrong?

I guess we sometimes lose ourselves or our voices not sure which goes first?

I had misplaced it but, did I?

My values are what I stand for as a person, what I believe to be the difference between right, wrong, and just darn horrid?!?!

We end up so busy minded or is it that we just plain forget or do we have so much going on that we forgot about what we held so dearly to us?

I would say it’s everything above and more… we do forget, misplace, our minds with time and other people who could potentially distract you from what you think is right and wrong or perhaps it’s about letting your once good intentions go to see if another or others could potentially be right?!?! (not sure if that makes any sense)

They say in a schoolyard that we can get bullied into saying, doing and acting differently, that is true, or do we get lazy? or are we distracted by negative thoughts that cloud your judgment from time to time??


We do tend to grow in a different direction hoping that direction does not mean the death of your own soul, or perhaps we hope for those we love to see the light of the day and show you something that you have not yet understood?!?

I guess we all have choices and we all tend to forget our voices, own thoughts, even values that once was so held tight that you could taste it on your lips!

Old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but, if it wishes not to drink you cannot make it drink”

Human nature is all about living a life and that also means making good, bad, and somewhat mind-numbing decisions that once you would go, NO, Way!

And sometimes when that light disappears for a while, potentially when you least expect it will beam through like a light so brightly you can taste it!!

I believe in being true as in real, being real and honest, never lie about something that even if it isn’t right at least you honest enough to say it, do it or even try it!

The best part of values and beliefs is about how well, you rise from the deep shit you get yourself into lol, we are on this earth to live and learn and that is a human ability or in some cases disability if you wish.

But, in all cases, it is about being true to yourself and holding your head up high without any type of significance in return..

Let your ego and your pride relax and let yourself be free… that is what we are all about kindness, silliness, craziness, call it what you will but, always treat yourself with respect and others with the same certainty and life will glide by lovely and a little bumpy but, at least your honest to be who you really are..



Took the Children Away

This video tells a story about two cultures similar, however different and the same,  separated Why? because ….. the government did not believe in the future of this culture, so they thought it was better to separate them from their families and drench them from being what they were born to be…


Then we have Kevin Rudd’s Apology in 2008, yet we still have homeless people, we still have issues of mental health, poverty, poor housing standards and so much more I cannot list

Yet, they still build huge buildings, that will only populate those that can afford them…. go figure…


Great Government we have… Ego, money hungry, dwarfs lining their own pockets for their own retirement…


So, proud to be a human in this country, world, Universe, are you???





Rapper 2Chainz stops by the headquarters of Sinthetics


Well, what can Candii say to this video – Watch it cuz it is worth every viewing a lot of money people this “IS” the future of another world of blow up dolls are gone well, they are still available but, these little beauties are so lifelike it is odd to watch!!


LOS ANGELES — Rapper 2Chainz stops by the headquarters of Sinthetics, makers of handcrafted custom-made sex dolls on tonight’s episode of “Most Expensivest” on Viceland.

Matt Krivicke, Sinthetics’ co-owner, and lead artist presents 2Chainz with a tour of his shop and introduces him to Monique and Gabriel, among other sex dolls, as well as the Vagankle — Sinthetics’ penetrable silicone foot.

Synthetics launched almost a decade ago and is run by Krivicke and his wife Bronwen. Among the innovative functions of the platinum, silicone Manikins are built-in heat and gel buttocks options, and a proprietary internal joint system that allows for increased portability, flexibility, and durability.

Krivicke describes the dolls as works of art, noting that they aren’t necessarily always used for sex.

Synthetics dolls are posable silicone dolls that can be customized with physical features such as skin tone, eye color, teeth, nipples and more. Starting at $6,500 for a basic female doll, upgrades range from $50 to $500 and up.

“For $6,500 you can build a bae,” 2Chainz says.

“Most Expensive” airs tonight on Viceland.  Now the above is NOT robots they are the “NEW” blow up dolls, the below are Robots in this video so both are very different!


I was talking to my husband about an app I bet they will create.. Let me say they have already so watched this place because we are looking at what most people will not understand is going to be REAL within 10 years and if not before


Now….. people what is your thoughts on this whole supernatural endeavor?

What makes the word “fears” so frightful to answer?

When you put “fears” in a sentence it seems that most hesitate in answering what we think is a simple question, but, really is it?

The word “Fear” and the words in a sentence “what is your biggest fear” or “what do you fear”, I guess it’s a harder question to answer or a silly one who really knows?!?

I saw DM pointless as the question

And I thought interesting to say the least I guess…


So, does FEAR scare the crap out of you?

Or is it just a silly question to ask?

Have your kids seen those never, never regions?


Hey Candii here,

Now I want you to meet “Madge the Vag”, she is one hell of a chick to introduce to your children, now if you didn’t want to do the talk I suggest using her videos to explain everything to them!!!

She is candid, honest, damn well funny but, she hits the nail on the head with explaining those “special bits” in a humorous, fun and darn right naughty but, with a GP rating… I must say!!

Try looking her up on youtube and facebook.. so get her on your friend’s list cuz she’s pretty good with getting the point across.

My life as a FROG… by Candii xx

I wish I was as candid as you!

I wish I was as Green as you (hehe)

I wish I could do the thing you do!

I wish oh I wish I wish I could, I could do what you do!

However, I am not sure you would want a person that was like you!

We live, we cry, we do the best we can do, but, sometimes I guess it’s not easier being blue!

I wonder, oh wonder, if things went so true, I wonder, I wonder, if you would be true!

We love, we cry, we live and we die!

How easy it would be if we tried as hard as you do!

I like you, I hate you, and even adore and love you,  I wish I could be you!

But, we say so many things that leave us bewildered and to be, to be, I wonder if I could be?

I wish all things weren’t so blinded by you and me!

I can see you, I can feel you, however, you won’t allow me to feel you!!

If I allowed you in would you shove me in the bin?

I wonder, I wonder, if we could be within!

I know this has no meaning but, what is the meaning?

I wonder, I wonder, if you could at least had seen me?

Goodbye, Goodbye, if you could only have allowed me in!

love Candii x

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When you think life sux’s watch this beautiful Angel





You know we all think life sux’s and then a beautiful girl named Claire comes along with so much energy for life and you STOP and you then go WTF!!!??

I often wonder about things and think about why people like her have such a terrible illness and even a short life?

Why on Earth is it so damn horrible that people often think that life sucks and they think they got something up with themselves and then Claire comes online and then you really go why on earth are we in such turmoil …

I have to say wow you beautiful, gorgeous human being why on earth are you dying???

Why on earth is GOD so damn evil that he wants you to die?

I don’t get it … you try so damn hard and you try every day and still, there are things about yourself that is not good enough for anybody!!!!!??

Her enthusiasm is outstandingly generous, she has amazing friends that love her energy, her beautiful aura, her amazing ability to rise above everything that has been thrown against her but, yet she still rises above all obstacles..

Her ability to see things so clearly must be astounding to so many and very much to me girls that have this is just seriously out of control in such a good way!!

Now, I will say this when you are full of such energy, love, and yet have been struck down with such a terrible disease “cystic fibrosis”, and then told you to have 2 years to live your energy levels can do two things you let go of living or you take every day as it comes and breath it in like smooth velvet..

I get her so much I wonder if I was told I had 2 years to live I would hope to god that my 2 years would be the most amazing 2 years ever… And that all the gods would line up and give me that break to be the best I could be and enjoy every minute, every moment and every instant of my short beautiful life.

If you hadn’t noticed her wall she says:

If you maintain a sense of humor and a distrust

of the rules there will be success…

Which means she is a wild spirit with a free mind to explore any possibility that has to offer and that is superb in my books… I find that kind of spirit an inspiration to everything that is beautiful and free…

Well, if you don’t shed a tear which I certainly did then I have to say – shame on you!!!

I would have given my entire legs for a sister, friend like her in my life I adore humans that love life with every inch of their life no matter what and I find them amazing, I would never let them go… still waiting for those persons or person…

I think she has a bit of a crush on the host of this and I don’t blame her he is lovely, kind-hearted, open to his feelings and wow, what a hunk!!! 


What a beautiful father and mother she is definitely blessed to be in such a loving family and they all deserve each other so much positivity so much beauty, so much of everything that is so beautiful.

That is what family should be to each other, that is what we all should be to each other it is that easy.. that damn well easy to be happy, loving, wonderful, enjoy your life, learning is beautiful, grow within yourself and never, ever give up!

I wish you so much love my dear girl and hope that all the Gods look down at you and give you a gift of life because people like you are what we all need in a world that could do with a beautiful wild and free spirit like yours Claire xxx




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Life is about learning and Growing, Right?!

Well, it comes a time in a girl’s life that she needs to understand the means of Sexual Definitions… Now I know you all thought I was going to say something else but, hey, even these definitions of the sexual kind I didn’t know was labeled, tagged put into a box and deliver for you to read.. along with me.. so watch and learn something, I am about too…

Okay sum I already know but, keep reading viewers… some are familiar however, this list is massive so keep it if your going into Sexology or perhaps hooker type work you may need to be very knowledgeable… joking..

Alternative Sexuality

Definition – What does Alternative Sexuality mean?

Alternative sexuality refers to any sexuality that does not fall under heterosexuality. It is the umbrella term for all sexual and romantic attractions that go beyond opposite-sex attraction. At the same time, it is more than being homosexual or bisexual. It includes those who identify as asexual, persons who do not experience sexual attraction; and those who identify as pansexual, persons who can be sexually attracted to all genders. Alternative sexualities make up the gender identity rainbow, which includes lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgender, and queer, among others.

Kinkly explains Alternative Sexuality

Men and women who practice an alternative sexuality are often subject to discrimination and harassment. This usually stems from the lack of understanding. Some members of society still expect others to conform to traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity. It is a good thing that such expectations of conformity are slowly giving way to acceptance and appreciation of people’s difference.

Sexual Orientation

Definition – What does Sexual Orientation mean?

Sexual orientation is a term that describes an individual’s emotional and sexual attraction to men, women, both sexes, or neither sex and the sense of identity which stems from these attractions.

Sexual orientation is traditionally classified as heterosexual (attraction to the opposite sex), homosexual (attraction to the same-sex), or bisexual (attraction to both sexes). Alfred Kinsey’s research suggests, however, that rather than three distinct groups, people tend to sit somewhere on a spectrum ranging from exclusive attraction to the opposite sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex. The term asexual has recently been added to the spectrum, to describe people who are not attracted to either sex.

Kinkly explains Sexual Orientation

An individual’s sexual orientation defines who they will be attracted to, who they will fall in love with, and in some cases, who they will want to make a long-term romantic commitment to.

It’s generally believed that people are born with a particular sexual orientation, but to a group, the tendency along with other genetic factors like sex and eye color does an injustice to the complex nature of sexual orientation. Sexual orientation differs from these characteristics as it is defined and expressed in terms of relationships with other people.

People express their sexual orientation through a variety of sexual behaviors, from hand-holding and kissing to intercourse, as well as nonsexual behaviors. As sexual orientation is linked to the human need for love and intimacy, tasks such as communicating and working towards common goals with a partner of a particular sex may also be seen as ways of expressing one’s orientation.

Sexual orientation is not just a personal characteristic, but one which defines groups of individuals. People can look to a community of others who share their sexual orientation for support and to establish the romantic connections which are an important part of personal identity for many.

Labels are often used to describe people of varying sexual orientations. For example, heterosexual men are generally called straight men, while homosexual women are typically called lesbians. However, some people may prefer different labels or none at all.

Okay here are some new ones I didn’t know


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Definition – What does Ecosexual mean?

A term coined by Beth Stephens and Annie Sprinkle, champions of the Ecosex movement, an ecosexual can be defined in a number of ways. All of the ways related to a love of and connection to the environment. An ecosexual may be one who considers the earth their lover or simply one who feels passionately about the environment and needs a term to express that when communicating with potential partners. Additionally, the term has a place in activist circles as ecosexuality may be considered an environmental activist strategy

Kinkly explains Ecosexual

Stephens and Sprinkle have created an Ecosexual Manifesto that lays out the identity and mission of ecosexuals. It recognizes the various applications of the term and explains ecosexuality as “a rapidly growing global community”.


Sexual Imprinting – aka twilight sheesh

Definition – What does Sexual Imprinting mean?

Sexual imprinting is the process that sees animals, including humans, choosing or rejecting mates based on the similarities or differences they share with their mothers, their fathers, and other prominent adults in their early lives. This process occurs in early childhood.

When we sexually imprint on someone, we create a mental model of an influential person’s characteristics and use that as a template for finding a mate. Potential mates similar to the person or people we’ve sexually imprinted on are pursued, while those that are very different are rejected.

Kinkly explains Sexual Imprinting

Heterosexual individuals tend to sexually imprint on the opposite-sex parent, leading them to choose mates that share similarities with this parent. Little research has been done on the sexual imprinting of homosexual and bisexual individuals. Sexual imprinting does not only occur among children and their biological parents. Studies have also shown adopted children sexually imprint on their adoptive parents.

The quality of the relationship a child has with its parents will also influence the degree they sexual imprint on them. A heterosexual girl who receives a great deal of emotional support from her father will be more likely to choose mates similar to him than a daughter who grew up without this paternal support.

Humans do not only sexually imprint on one another. If someone has a meaningful encounter with an inanimate object at an early age, he or she may sexually imprint on this object. This unusual type of sexual imprinting helps explain people with sexual attractions to statues and sexual fetishes for fabrics and items of clothing.

Sexual imprinting helps a heterosexual female choose a mate like her father. This increases the chances of producing viable offspring, including sons which will appeal to other heterosexual females, as her father appealed to her mother. If a heterosexual female grows up without a father, she may sexually imprint on her father or on other adult males in her life. This kind of imprinting helps her select mates which will result in viable offspring. However, it may not result in these offspring being sexually attractive to others.


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Definition – What does Demisexual mean?

Demisexual refers to an individual that is capable of sexual attraction only with those with whom they feel an emotional bond. Demisexuality is marked by a need for familiarity and emotional intimacy with as well as knowledge about a prospective partner.

Kinkly explains Demisexual

An emotional connection is a prerequisite for sexual attraction for the demisexual. However, an emotional connection does not necessarily trigger sexual attraction. While demisexuals may be emotionally bonded with all the people that they are attracted to, they are not attracted to all the people that they bond with emotionally. The need of the demisexual to have knowledge of and a bond with another before experiencing attraction means that they may experience attraction far less frequently than the average sexual person. The term demisexual is meant to acknowledge a sexual orientation that lies at the midpoint between asexual and sexual.


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Definition – What does Androgynous mean?

Androgynous is an adjective which describes a blend of masculine and feminine characteristics. The term is a combination of the Latin terms andro, meaning man, and gyne, meaning woman.

The word androgynous may be used to describe someone’s gender or sexual identity, sexual lifestyle, or appearance. It may also describe fashion trends, cultures, or relationships.

A person who does not fit traditional masculine or feminine gender roles is known as an androgyne. Androgynes often prefer the less clinical terms ambigender or polygenous. Androgynes may be male, female, transgender, straight, gay, or bisexual.

Kinkly explains Androgynous

Androgyny challenges the typical notion that there are only two gender role orientations. According to American psychologist Sandra Bem’s ‘Bem Sex-Role Inventory,’ androgynous is one of the four gender role orientations, along with masculine, feminine, and undifferentiated.

People who are psychologically androgynous may identify with both genders (sometimes known as multigenic) or they may identify as genderless or gender-neutral. Those who act in both masculine and feminine fashions or display both masculine and feminine physical features may identify as physically androgynous, intersex, or behavioral androgynous. There will likely be overlap between all these types of androgyny.

Androgynous cultures or relationships lack strict gender roles. Members of these cultures or relationships happily complete tasks or exhibit behaviors commonly associated with the other sex. Androgynous figures like David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Annie Lennox have played with fashion norms without crossing the line into drag.

It can be difficult for the rest of society who are used to a binary gender system to understand androgynous individuals. This societal pressure can make it difficult for androgynes to feel accepted.

The term genderqueer has been used to refer to androgyny, but the words are not interchangeable. Genderqueer carries sociopolitical connotations which androgyny doesn’t have. Some androgyny may feel that the term genderqueer does not accurately describe them, or may even find the term offensive.

Gender Expression

Definition – What does Gender Expression Mean?

Gender expression refers to the external communication of one’s gender to other people. It is the way in which an individual chooses to perform their gender role.

Kinkly explains Gender Expression

Gender expression should not be confused with gender identity. Gender identity simply refers to the gender an individual identifies with, whether male, female, or neither. Gender expression, on the other hand, refers to the way in which individuals choose to express their femininity, masculinity, or androgyny. Gender expression can be defined as one’s mannerisms, behavior, clothing, haircut, voice, etc.


Definition – What does Ableism mean?

Ableism is the discrimination against men and women with emotional, physical, and mental disabilities. It is also alternately called ablecentrism, disability oppression, and handicaps. This social prejudice presumes that able-bodied people are superior to those with disabilities. It looks at being able-bodied as the norm that must be confirmed with.

Kinkly explains Ableism

The criminalization of ableism happened only fairly recently. In the United States, it was only in the 1970s when this was made into a crime. Before this, there were several laws that allowed discrimination based on disfigurements and disabilities. These were referred to as the “ugly laws.” In the United Kingdom, a codification of anti-ableism laws only happened in 1995.



Definition – What does Spectrasexual mean?

A spectrasexual is a term used to refer to a person who is attracted to a wide range of individuals, including those of different sexes, genders and gender expressions. Spectrasexuality is considered to be a sexual orientation.

Kinkly explains Spectrasexual

An individual that identifies as a spectrasexual does not have a specific set of qualities that he or she finds to be attractive. Bisexuality is too narrow of an identity because someone who is spectrasexual is attracted to individuals who fall outside of the gender and sexuality dichotomy of male and female as well as homosexual and heterosexual. The idea is that an individual is attracted to people who fall within a wide range on the gender/sexuality spectrum.



Definition – What does Allosexual mean?

Allosexual is a term used to refer to someone who does not identify as part of the asexual sprectrum (asexual, grey-a, demi-sexual). It is an umbrella term for all people who experience both primary and secondary sexual attraction on a regular basis.

Kinkly explains Allosexual

Allosexual is a term that is primarily used in the asexual community to distinguish people who are asexual. The purpose of the term is to make the distinction without calling those people “sexual” (because all people are sexual, just in different ways) or “normal” (because that is uncessarily disenfranchising to people who identify asexual).


Definition – What does Agnosexual mean?

Agnoseuxual refers to an individual with an undecided sexual orientation. An agnosexual does not identify specifically with any sexual orientation but is also not asexual.

Kinkly explains Agnosexual

An individual that identifies as agnosexual has not decided upon or does not specifically identify with, any sexual orientation. Typically, agnosexuals tend to identify as agnosexual rather than bisexual or any variation thereof because identifying with a sexual orientation such as bisexuality brings with it preconceived notions of those that identify with that particular sexual orientation.


Definition – What does Autosexual mean?

Autosexuality is a sexual orientation where one has sex with and is sexually attracted towards oneself. Self-pleasure is more enjoyable for these individuals than sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual activity. Autosexuality takes on several forms. One can have sex with oneself and with others simultaneously. Masturbation is a form of autosexuality. Enjoying masturbation does not necessarily make one an autosexual. Having sex or playing with oneself while thinking of oneself or of an object is another form of autosexuality.

Kinkly explains Autosexual

Autosexuality is a form of sexuality where the individual is sexually aroused by him or herself. In this situation, the individual usually has sex with him or herself and enjoys that more than sex with a partner.


Definition – What does Acedolagnia mean?

Acedolagnia is a sexual disorder characterized by an indifference to sexual intercourse, activities, and matters. People who feel indifferent to sex are said to be acedolagnic.

The word is a combination of the Greek prefix a, meaning not or without, the Greek word kedos, meaning care, and the Greek word lagneia, which translates to lust.

Acedolagnia is sometimes called sexual apathy.

Kinkly explains Acedolagnia

Some people may always feel acedolagnic. These people may consider themselves asexual, as they have no desire to engage in sex with any gender. Other people may develop feelings of acedolagnia over time. People who previously had an interest in sex might later feel indifferent about it after being single for a long time or growing apart from their partners. Some medications, illnesses, and hormonal changes can also trigger acedolagnia in some people.

While acedolagnia is considered a sexual disorder, whether it’s a problem depends on the individual. Many people who consider themselves asexual simply feel their indifference to sex is a part of them that they are comfortable with. For other people, especially those who once had a healthy sexual appetite, acedolagnia may be distressing. In these cases, therapy may be helpful. This therapy may be undertaken alone, with a partner, or both.

Dressing for Pleasure (DFP)

Definition – What does Dressing for Pleasure (DFP) mean?

Dressing for pleasure is the practice of wearing visually and sensually stimulating clothes within the BDSM community. The type of clothes a person wears to dress for pleasure will vary depending on their tastes and roles within the community.

Dressing For Pleasure is also the name of an SM boutique in New Jersey and the yearly international fetish event hosted by the boutique.

Dressing for pleasure is sometimes abbreviated to the acronym DFP.

Kinkly explains Dressing for Pleasure (DFP)

Leather, rubber, silk, lace, and tulle are common materials people wear when dressing for pleasure. Garments such as boots, corsets, body-hugging suits, dresses, and outfits resembling uniforms are also popular. Different outfits reinforce different roles within the BDSM community. Wearing leather, for example, may make dominants feel more powerful.

In mainstream society, flamboyant costumes are often the domain of women alone. However, men in the BDSM community are just as likely to wear elaborate outfits when they dress for pleasure. Some men also like to experiment with women’s clothing, whether they identify as transvestites or not.

Dressing for pleasure serves a number of purposes for members of the BDSM community. It can be a way to outwardly express their personality and desires, to separate themselves from the rest of society and show membership to their group. It can also be sexually arousing for both wearer and viewer. For this reason, some regard dressing for pleasure as a kind of foreplay.


Definition – What does Acokoinonia mean?

Acokoinonia is sex which occurs without any passion or desire. It comes from the Greek words akon, meaning unwilling, and koinonia, meaning community, which in turn comes from the Greek word koinos, which translates to “shared in common.”

While it’s unclear how the term originated, J.E. Schmidt was one of the first people to define acokoinonia in his 1967 sexual dictionary, “Lecher’s Lexicon.”

Kinkly explains Acokoinonia

Acokoinonia might occur between long-time couples who have sex because they feel they should, rather than because they want to be physically intimate. It might occur if the couple are motivated to have a baby, for example, or if they simply feel sex is an obligation. People who aren’t in long-term relationships might also have acokoinonia if they are having sex because of peer pressure or because they feel their partner expects sex.

Women are most likely to have acokoinonia. Aside from men usually requiring feelings of desire to achieve an erection, anecdotal evidence suggests women more commonly have passive attitudes to sex that means intercourse doesn’t always go hand-in-hand with desire.


Definition – What does Ablutophilia mean?

Ablutophilia is the experiencing of intense sexual arousal or satisfaction from taking a shower or bath. This term is derived from the Latin word ablutio, meaning a washing or cleansing, and Phila, an intense liking of or attraction to certain items or activities.

Kinkly explains Ablutophilia

The subject of what constitutes “normal” sex practices is quite controversial. Does loving sex in the shower make you an ablutophile? Not necessarily. Are specific attractions or fetishes a problem? Likely only if they prevent you from having a fulfilling sex life (as in the case where nothing else outside the specific attraction can achieve arousal).


Definition – What does Bi-Comfortable mean?

Bi-comfortable describes individuals who are comfortable with the idea of bisexuality, even though they may not identify is bisexual. Many bi-comfortable individuals are willing to participate in sexual activities with members of the same sex, but they won’t usually go in search of members of the same sex for a relationship, emotional or sexual. One example of this is a person comfortable and willing to participating in a ménage à trois if it would please their partner.

Kinkly explains Bi-Comfortable

Bi-comfortable is a relatively new term, and it often means different things to different people. Some individuals, for instance, identify bi-comfortable people as those who are simply comfortable being around bisexual people. Others describe bi-comfortable people as those who are willing to engage in sexual acts with individuals of the same-sex but are not bisexual or gay themselves.


Definition – What does Desensitizer mean?

Desensitizer is the term for a sexual enhancement product designed to help individuals overcome sexual challenges. These products are usually topical creams or ointments that numb the area to which they are applied. The most common use for desensitized is to delay ejaculation and to make anal penetration more comfortable.

Kinkly explains Desensitizer

The use of desensitizers, especially in the case of the anal play, is often discouraged for safety reasons. Sex educators advise against using products that reduce sensation and leave participants unable to feel bodily discomfort. Discomfort ordinarily acts as an important signal of damage or injury to the body.


Definition – What does Fetters mean?

Fetters are metal manacles tied together by a chain. They are popular, if slightly expensive, BDSM accessories for restraining a bottom, submissive, or slave.

Kinkly explains Fetters

Fetters are a little bit like handcuffs, but with wider metal cuffs and typically a longer chain between them. They also go around ankles rather than wrists.

Fetters are what you usually see tied to the “ball and chain.” They can be tied to ankles and then chained to objects in the floor to limit the wearer’s area of movement. Wearing fetters is enough to limit someone’s freedom of movement: the heavy chains and shorter length reduces your ability to take normal steps.

Using fetters as restraints is more showy than practical. First, they are expensive; second, you can get the exact same effect with cuffs and a rope or smaller chain. For a strong effect on the mind of the wearer, the weight of the iron around the ankles as well as the heavy chain can work wonders.


Definition – What does Dysmorphophilia mean?

Dysmorphophilia is a fetish or sexual preference for people with physical or mental impairments. People with dysmorphophilia, known as dysmorphophiles, may become sexually aroused when fantasizing about these individuals, or have recurring and persistent erotic thoughts about them. They may also seek out sexual partners who are physically or mentally impaired.

Dysmorphophilia comes from the Greek words dysmorphos, meaning disformed, and philia, meaning love.

Kinkly explains Dysmorphophilia

People with dysmorphophilia are often most attracted to one group of individuals who have similar impairments or deformities. For example, one dysmorphophile may find they have a preference for people with scoliosis or other spine deformities, and another dysmorphophile may be attracted to people with a limp. Some people with dysmorphophilia are only interested in people with permanent deformities, while others find themselves aroused by people with temporary impairments like wearing a cast or a leg brace.

It can be difficult for some dysmorphophiles to find partners, as understandably many people with disabilities worry that dysmorphophiles see their disability, rather than their personality or who they are inside.

Most dysmorphophiles simply learn to accept their condition as a part of their sexual identity and learn to achieve sexual gratification in a socially acceptable way. However, if dysmorphophilia becomes problematic for a person, treatments such as psychoanalysis, hypnosis, and cognitive therapy may be helpful.

Sex in Your Forties: Own It

Hi Candii here,

Okay, ladies, Gents, those beautiful mindless moments of owning your sexuality at any age really (well, at least if you are over the age of consent which is for most people well, women 16 and men 30 ha joking)

Norty 40’s loved that title and did I own it.. shhhhhhhhhhh , never tell, well, okay, still not telling!!!

However, I will tell those who are not pulling at least a few times a week and that isn’t the man pulling his own.. girls get up and get ready!!!

Before I met my husband I would call my sex life strange, odd, at times a letdown, interesting, crazy, challenging, creepy, psycho, stalkers not me, them! 

Mine was what I would call the most character-building experiences and then I met my husband and we altered existence and continued to and that is all I have to say about that subject!! hahaha and prolly still are growing out of control which is refreshingly good thank god!!!

You see good things happen to naughty persistent people like us right!!

Oh, bejesus.. anyhow.. here is the post that I found that might interest those who are not quite hitting the mark!!, steve, Albert, Sharon!



For many women, hitting 40 can mean a boost to the libido. 


I can vividly remember a conversation with a girlfriend of mine when I lived in California. Back then, she was approaching 40, while I was 35 and a stay-at-home mom with two small children under two years old. This friend told me that she and her husband were trying to have sex 100 days in a row. My first thought: That’s not possible! My second thought: No freakin’ way! Then, all of a sudden, all I felt was self-conscious and inept about my dead libido.

I was perpetually exhausted, and my libido was shot. There is nothing sexy about being home with your kids all day, every day; changing diapers, whipping out your boobs on a regular basis for feeding small, dependent humans. The day is filled with cleaning, feeding, micromanaging and, let’s be honest, most of those early years are spent trying to make sure your children don’t off themselves by accident. Sweatpants and dirty hoodies made up my wardrobe. When my husband would get home from work, all I wanted was some alone time, free from children, calm and quiet, in my bedroom. Alone.

Those years were some of the toughest I have ever experienced. I wanted to do better, but I literally had nothing left to give at the end of every day, least of all sex.

Fast Forward to 40

Five nearly sexless years passed. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it’s a time I still harbor guilt and confusion around. Then, all of a sudden, my sex drive was back – with a vengeance. No more sex once a month or every six weeks. We had sex three times a day for weeks at a time. We got adventurous and began to experiment with bondageanal sex and sex toys! It was freeing, fun, satisfying, and no longer a struggle to get in the mood. I was much happier, as was my husband; we were a much happier couple. Sure, there were phases where we didn’t have sex all that often. Being 40 comes with its own brand of tired that isn’t prevalent in your 20s. But those lapses didn’t last that long anymore and we began to trust that they were simply little blips in an otherwise sexually healthy marriage.

It’s a Biological Drive

So why the sudden shift from the sexual doldrums to rock star status? Well, I can’t say for sure, but researchers at the University of Texas believe it may have to do with how we evolved. In the past, women tended to lose many of their children in childbirth or, later, to disease, starvation or warfare. As a result, couples tried to have as many children as possible. The late surge in sex drive among women could be due to approaching menopause; our bodies sense that it has become harder to get pregnant and that we are running out of time as far as our ability to conceive. In response, women may actively seek out more sex.

That’s just a theory, of course, but one thing we know for sure is that perimenopause brings with it a change in your estrogen levels. As your estrogen level begins to drop, your testosterone level remains unchanged. That higher testosterone-to-estrogen ratio may lead to a higher sex drive.

Whatever the reason, it happened to me, and it has been fabulous. The only downside to reaching 40 is, in my opinion, a vaginal dryness that seems to be present more often than not. It’s nothing that a little (or a lot) of lube can’t fix. Besides, you will need lube for all of your new toys!

40s: Your Time of Self-Discovery

There are other reasons why sex gets better with age. Being in your forties comes with what I like to refer to as the “no bullshit” approach to life. Your twenties were (hopefully) spent doing a lot of self-discovery, introspection and experimentation. You might have discovered what worked, what definitely did not work, and how you fit into the world at large. Your thirties might have been spent focusing on your career or a family; learning how to parent, juggle a job, a life. You might have lost sight of who you are – you may have gotten lost in being a wife or a mother.

Then come your forties. With this decade comes a feeling of self-discovery, self-love and acceptance. Most people get over caring about what other people think of them. It just doesn’t matter anymore. What does matter, and what is important, you learn to hold close to your heart. You stop worrying about what people think, what society tells you to think. There is such joy and freedom in this acceptance that, guess what? You feel lighter, less stressed, and more open to feeling and being. Lo and behold, you find that you are a sexual creature filled with love and lust and a sexuality so fierce that sex becomes this amazing adventure of self-expression and rediscovering who you are in your life – and in the bedroom.


Tell your kids about the Birds and the Bee’s … if not watch the movie I added..

Hey, Candii here,

Oh, I do love to chat about this subject when it comes to young youths boys and girls who are striving or starving for answers about “Life”!

The Talk, I chattered to a Blogger friend about this and I agree, we both didn’t really get much from “the Talk”, my mother told me sex is only for babies!!

The rest as a curious young little girl as I was I found out about SEX harder, slower, jackrabbit, Vasso, was the lube of the 80’s and might I add “Never use Vasso” it is nasty, harsh and could cause multiple problems in the nether regions for ladies I mean!!

My advice to younger mums, dads, grandparents, you MUST be honest, yes tell them about where babies come from, but please and I say this with all due respect to mums and dads that not telling them isn’t the answer!!!

Here are some very important tips to what I am trying to tell you both if your child girl or little boy is of a curious mind meaning they are always doing things you tell them not too, this means they are curious and if you say NO to them they will hunt it down and find out why!!

I did and I will always because I love that word NO, I respond either in my warped mind “why”, I see, hmmm, ok, right, no is no, hmm mm, you see what I mean..

So how do you say sex to your children, well you tell them the truth, you tell them about your story or a story that you know is really how they are required to kiss each other, get naked, show each other their naked bits, (in other words if they are really young this should gross them out)  If they are older well, sorry its hardcore chat to your kids parents!!

Here is a true story about Perth (WA’s Chief of Police) his child a boy well he was a meth addict and his father well, he is the man who has shut down our pubs in Perth they call it “lock up rights” you must be either inside a pub by the time the clock strikes 12 then you are either locked in or your locked out !!

Personally, I think he has a few screws loose, in the top paddock and now looks at Perth’s nightlife, places are shutting down, no ones going out anymore and to perfectly honest it’s hell out on the town on a Friday or Saturday night!!

This man should have been a little bit more lenient towards his child and allowed his child the respect he should have given him and that was lenient towards him never tell a child No, tell them the why’s, the how’s the experiences of what could occur and how important it is to find a like-minded person to do these things with at a better age of understanding.

The Talk for girls and boys should always be honest talks and make it fun, tell them funny stories that they understand, not serious, hideous, hardcore stories that will shock them into therapy … Come on people, treat your children with a little respect because let me give you the hot tip, denying you as having past yourselves well your just being pig headed and foolish!!

So, man up, women up and tell them a real story about you two .. it might surprise you how they react!!

They are your children and you should know how they are wired so chillax it isn’t the ass end of life it is the beginning of many family funnies, and they will come back to you and remember that story because you gave them something better.

The Truth!!

Our kids are very clever, they have mobiles phones, I pads, they have seen sex on the internet by either friend or another way plus they hear everything you say to each other because they are mini you both!!

We adore our children so please don’t be a pratt and tell them stupid book stories, or sex is for babies only so don’t even think about it… my god, that is the worst story EVER!!!

And if you don’t do the talk with your girls.. they will meet this this movie..OMG!!!


This Is What Happens When You Combine MDMA and Alcohol

Hi Candii here,

Any type of drug these days is laced with multitudes of chemicals that are so damn harmful to our bodies yet we still take them!

When I was a kid it was “bush weed”, I hated the smell of mull, awful, however, did I smoke it.. hell, yes!!!

Some may say seriously Candii did you just say what I thought you said!

Yes, I did live a life that perhaps I possibly shouldn’t have done a few things but, shrug whatever, anyway, getting back to this story my cousin sent me on my facebook page,  3 wishes

MDMA which is illegal and Alcohol, which isn’t?!?!

Another story on society saying yes too and of course No too!!
This drug from what I believe is very similar to taking an Ecstasy pill the symptoms are very similar and if your drinking well, all I can say is your asking for trouble!!

My lovely strange and a bit odd cousin sent me this article and oh of course, the below video… so enjoy the video as you will notice drugs will make you look like a doofus or at least purple and dance a tad strangely?!?!


Update:  Please watch this video this is what occurs if you do take the above drugs.. you will wear purple look a bit dark cuz of the sun and strangely dance like a numb nut…. enjoy love Candii xxx


Here is some news on this subject….

Taking MD and drinking at the same time is like pulling your body in two very different directions.


This article originally appeared on VICE US.

At most music festivals, nightclubs, and other settings with high MDMA use, there’s usually another drug being consumed: alcohol. Mixing alcohol and MDMA has become more popular over recent years, says Joseph J. Palamar, associate professor of population health at New York University Langone Medical Center. But when people wash down pills with cocktails, they may not realize this combination puts them at greater risk than either drug alone.

For one thing, both substances increase your risk for dehydration, says Tzvi Doron, a New York City-based physician and clinical director for the men’s health app Roman. MDMA does this by increasing your body temperature, muscle activity, and sweating, while alcohol makes you lose fluid by causing you to pee more. You’re at even greater risk for dehydration if you’re dancing in a crowd, as people often do at festivals and clubs.

When dehydration gets serious, you could experience neural compartment dehydration—a shortage of water available to your nerves, says James Giordano, professor of neurology and biochemistry at Georgetown University Medical Center. Fluid gets pulled out of your brain cells, compromising their ability to function, which could lead to heart failure, respiratory failure, or coma.

The two drugs combined can also be a double whammy for your judgment, Doron says. Since alcohol is a depressant, it impairs your motor abilities, which can make tasks like driving dangerous. But MDMA is a stimulant, which could make you feel alert and capable of performing such tasks even if you aren’t.

“Alcohol’s effects on judgment and coordination continue even when combined with MDMA,” Doron explains. “This can make for a particularly dangerous situation where people feel that they are less impaired than they actually are.” Drugs like MDMA can also lead you to misjudge how much alcohol you can tolerate and, increasing the chances that you’ll drink too much, Palamar says.

The consequences of combining alcohol and MDMA can outlast the drugs’ effects. Alcohol’s depressant properties can intensify the dreaded MDMA crash at the end of the night, where your serotonin supply wears off and you feel depressed, anxious, or irritable, Giordano tells me. And the next day, you could be dealing with two hangovers at once, as if the lethargy and crankiness of an MDMA hangover alone weren’t enough.

Many people have the false impression that alcohol isn’t a drug—or at least one they should be worrying about consuming—which can lead them to be thoughtless about what they mix it with. But alcohol interacts with recreational drugs just like any other substance. And the stronger the alcohol you’re consuming, the greater these unwanted effects will be, Giordano says: “The higher the proof, the higher the potency.” And, of course, the more of each drug you use, the greater every risk.

Obviously, both alcohol and MDMA carry risks even on their own. But if you’re going to use them, it’s safest to stick to one at a time. And whether you’re using both or just one, make sure to drink water to avoid dehydration.

Update:  Please watch this video this is what occurrs if you do take the above drugs.. you will wear purple look a bit dark cuz of the sun and strangely dance like a numb nut…. enjoy love Candii xxx


There’s something about the seventies that radiates sex to us. In the height of the sexual revolution, hunky men were taking off their clothes left and right on camera.

We gathered together some of our favorite celebrities who opted to go clothes-off in the seventies!

10. Donald Sutherland

9. Robert Redford

8. Bruce Lee

7. Dustin Hoffman

6. John Travolta

5. Martin Sheen

4. Richard Roundtree

3. Charlton Heston

2. James Caan

1. Robert De Niro

The Importance of Sexual Health and Wellness

Hi Candii here,

Before I post someone else notes about sexual health and wellness let me please put my bit in before she talks about her bits..

I have discovered a lot about myself these days my openness about sex and the attitude with today’s antics on dating sites and let me tell you it is very different and you better put your sock ups, ladies, if you think your life sucks and even you gents!!

My suggestion to both sexes is this invest in each other go to couples retreats, make sure you re-invest with the person you married all those years ago!

Because let me give you the hot tip unless you want a guy who I have to say is only interested in sex with your wife, dog, maid, and the poor asshole down the street who may look a little bit, sort of attractive the sexual revolution is back and those single men are looking for you “married couples”!!

Or you could get your “Swing on”, I am pretty open minded and I think whatever floats your boat please go ahead however, the places they are hosting these events are side streets down a alley that sells hardware!!

Not a good look or you could request for an invite to a “private party” which you both will be vetted with picture, passport and golden ticket from the Wolly Wonkers Chocolate Factory!!

And that is for the ladies, you boys singles no chance in HELL are you invited… you might have to slip them a fiddy or two I wish Perth had better Bars, clubs, and anything that doesnt have teeny weeny kids that go out and about!!

Perth you really are Slack and there is absolutely nothing out in Perth Scene to be entertained, in nice surroundings however, VOODOO lougne is good.. if you like to stare at viginas up close and personal!!!




When you hear about “sexual health and wellness”, the conversation is often about avoiding STIs and unwanted pregnancies.

The understanding is that using condoms, getting tested, and preventing gonorrhea is the cornerstone of what it means to be sexually well.

But if you’ve ever felt:

  • Heartbroken over someone you know isn’t good for you
  • Shamed about your sexual desires and fantasies
  • Embarrassed about the shape, size, function, taste, or smell of your genitals
  • Sexually frustrated and unpleased
  • Lonely and skin hungry
  • Uncomfortable asking for what you want in bed
  • Unheard
  • Unworthy
  • Unsafe
  • Disconnected or disgusted by your body
  • Insecure about your sexual identity
  • Degraded for the way you dress, move, or express your sexuality in the world
  • Meh

… then you probably know that being sexually well goes infinitely deeper than if you have or don’t have a bacterial microbe. It’s about if you have or don’t have a fundamental joy in being you.

Sexuality is a vital part of being human. It’s what makes us who we are.

Being sexually well is about growing and thriving to a place where we can realize our full humanity, unapologetically. It’s physical, social, emotional, and mental.

Sexual wellness is paying attention to and honoring what your body needs.

Sexual wellness is knowing you are worthy of love and kindness from others.

Sexual wellness is living and loving according to your values.

Sexual wellness is practicing gratitude for your genitals and the sexual pleasure they provide.

Sexual wellness is asking your partner for what you want.

Equally important to how you treat yourself as a sexual person, sexual wellness is how you show up to others, and the world around you.

People who are living sexually well are not just doing what’s right by them:

  • Loving their bodies
  • Speaking up
  • Feeling comfortable about their sexual desires
  • Having good orgasms and a healthy vibrator collection

They are also:

  • Loving other people’s bodies, and not engaging in body shaming.
  • Listening when other people speak up, and listening with humility when their partners tell them what they want.
  • Helping other people feel comfortable about their sexual desires, by being a sex-positive person and not ridiculing any of the wild and wonderful ways people do their sexuality.
  • Making space for everyone to enjoy sexual pleasure, have good orgasms and a healthy vibrator collection if they so choose, by never slut-shaming how others express their sexuality.

Sexual wellness is not so much about preventing disease as it is about promoting compassion.

Why is this alternative model of sexual health and wellness important?

It all comes down to feeling good.

Whether it’s the physical feeling good of an incredible orgasm, the emotional feeling good of a, or the social feeling good of knowing you are contributing to a world that is more sexually kind and compassionate, sexual wellness is about embracing our truth- we are sexual beings, we want to feel good, and that’s valid.

And for the boys….

Favorite Sex Positions-For Men

Ok guys, are you looking for new sexual positions to spice up your lovemaking? Listen as Dr. Mike Dow gives you some new ideas to test drive.

What are some of your favorite positions to try?

Mike Dow

Part-time Job ladies, Gents?

Well, Ibiz, has announced 2018 Awards for the Best Cam Studio on this Planet!!!

And let me tell you if you ladies want to earn big bucks this is the place to be… it has beds, counselors, costumes, a video cam in front of an amazing bed for you to earn up to $25,000 per month!!

Yes, indeed all you need to do is look sexy, speak sexy, act sexy in front of a Cam and you will be paying off your mortgage, vet bills, counseling on going until you die..

I am joking actually about the counseling until you die comment, I think it’s not a bad way to make a buck!!

However, my suggestion to you is this.. make sure you do your homework and have a brain on you because words are just as severe as being abused so remember that ladies before you enter the “Twightlight zone”!!

Just make sure you can take a bit of abusive language from 12-year-old boys who will be watching you take your clothes off…

Love Candii xx




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People Share the Hottest Fantasies They Masturbate To


Hi Candii here,

Hmm, unless I am dead some of these fantasies are very boring indeed.. come on people put some effort into thinking about a fantasy.. jesus, I feel like we are a backward man, MFF, seriously???

5 Common Women's Sexual Fantasies


Everyone has a dirty mind. Literally everyone. All men and women, deep down, have some pretty kinky sexual fantasies. Yup, even your prude aunt Rita.

While a lot is known about some of the most popular fantasy ideas of men, less is commonly known about women’s sexual fantasies. Unfortunately, most women will not likely share their secret sex fantasies, even with their partners.

That’s why we’ve put together a list of the 5 most common women’s sexual fantasies. We are all aware of dirty talkusing sex toys or role-playing in your sex life. You ladies might recognize a few of your own favorite sex fantasies or sexual desires. For you, gents, these might serve as an eye-opener.

Although every woman is, of course, unique and most likely has her own specific sexual fantasies. There are some scenarios that are guaranteed to make the majority of us ladies flood our basement.


It’s often said that sex is all about control. That’s why it’s no surprise that dominating or being dominated is a very common female fantasy. Time to get your 50 shades on!

The domination fantasy can work both ways. It would surprise you how many women would love to be tied-up, dominated and taken. To have the man be in total control over her. To basically act as his sex slave just for the night. This can be extremely exciting.

At the same time, a lot of women fantasize about being the one who dominates. Ordering their man to perform acts of sexual pleasure. Or even making him beg for doing so. This might give you an ego boost like never before!


Many women experience a rather conservative romantic life with a monogamous long-term relationship.

This is why it’s so hot to fantasize about having casual sex with a complete stranger. If you’ve ever watched porn (and I’m assuming you have), you know just how thrilling this scenario can be. Whether it’s a pizza delivery guy, a plumber or just a random hot dude on the street asking for directions.

It’s all about that urging I-don’t-care-let’s-have-sex-right-fricking-now-feeling. That dirty feeling of being so horny you could care less that you don’t know the guy’s name. You just want to get it good and get it now. The idea that afterward you both just leave and never see each other again is also a major turn-on for women, considering it’s so different than the real life most of them are used to.


Another quite common female fantasy is having sex in a public place. This scenario can take place just about anywhere.  In a dressing room, a bathroom stall, or behind the bushes in the park.

The reason this fantasy is so popular usually has to do with the thrill of breaking the law. Of doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. Add to that the fear of getting caught by a random bystander and the excitement goes through the roof!

Just as with the sex-with-a-stranger-fantasy, imagining doing it in public is hot because of the urge aspect. You don’t care that someone might hear or see you. You don’t care that you might scrape your lower back on some bricks. All you want is to rip each other’s clothes off with not a second to waste.


Don’t mind a third wheel joining the party? If you’re a woman, there’s a good chance that, sometime in your life, you’ve fantasized about partaking in a threesome. Whether it’s with a man and another woman or with two guys (a devil’s three-way), it’s unmistakably a naughty and exhilarating thought.

Many straight women fantasize about having sex with another woman. You don’t have to be a guy or a lesbian to appreciate the hotness of a Sofia Vergara or a Kate Upton. So maybe you secretly dream about getting it on with your man and a hot chick in the middle.

On the other hand, a lot of women secretly fantasize about being fought over by two eager men. Some ladies might play this scene out in their heads as being very gentle and erotic. Others go crazy for the thought of hardcore, porn-like sex with two dudes.



There aren’t many professions that are more looked down upon than that of a stripper. That’s why imagining being one, makes for such a naughty and irresistible scenario for women.

Imagine being adorned in smoking hot lingerie and sky-high heels, walking confidently around a high-end club and giving a lap dance to a rich daddy who shoves a 100 dollar bill in your panties. Did it just get hot in here?

The beauty of all these sexual fantasies is, of course, that they don’t necessarily ever have to become a reality. That’s why women can make them as wild, crazy and dirty in their mind as they like. Nobody needs to know except you and your vibrator.



Lara Metman

Check out more of Lara’s work

Well done Lara.. much better


Takeaway: Playing with yourself has numerous health benefits and if you need a hot fantasy to maximize your pleasure, that’s perfectly OK.


It’s no secret that men and women masturbate to a wide variety of hot hookup scenarios. For years, my go-to was pretty consistent: A certain blonde haired/blued-eye chef I was friends with would pull me into the bathroom at The Ruby Room, a dive bar in Oakland, hike my skirt up, then fuck me doggy style in the glow of the dim red lights. As years went by, the fantasy got dirtier, with him eventually finishing on my face before I’d wipe it off then return to my Manhattan. Sure, it’s not the most creative of fantasies, but I could cue up this image and come in a matter of minutes – every single time.

Masturbation is a healthy part of sexuality. The better you connect with your body (and orgasm), the better the lover you’ll be. Playing with yourself has numerous health benefits and if you need a hot fantasy to maximize your pleasure, that’s perfectly OK.

Need a little fodder for the spank bank? We got a few people to open up about the steamy fantasies they use to get themselves worked up.

Anonymous Sex

The idea of being blindfolded and restrained in a public setting gets me excited. Perhaps at a friend’s dinner party? The thought of being vulnerable is so arousing. After dinner, all the guests at the party take turns on me. I don’t know who’s penetrating me – I can only guess. The idea of being “used” by a group of horny people, I think, is what turns me on the most.

-Danielle, 45

Bitch Better Have My Money

I get off on dynamics where I have a debt to repay. Most recently, my boyfriend and I role-played a scene where I was a hotel guest who racked up an obscene bill from watching too much porn. I didn’t have the funds to pay the bill, so I found alternative means to repay the hotel manager. There was a lot of begging and groveling involved and all of it tapped into my submissive tendencies.

Alice, 28

Secret Mommy

I think about my much older neighbor. Going to her house, asking her to role play as my secret mommy. She forces me to wear her panties, then sits on my face until she spills her juices all over my mouth. Once mommy is satisfied, I’m allowed to jerk off. If I’m a good boy, sometimes she lets me come on her tits. If she only knew …

-Jeff, 37

Sensual Healing

I get massages every week and frequently fantasize about my super-hot therapist turning it into a medical situation. Like, I have a serious condition with my dick that can only be cured by a hand job or oral sex. The idea of my therapist assuming the role of a doctor or nurse and me needing a thorough physical exam gets me hard every time.

-Kai, 37

Sex With Strangers

Here’s my fantasy: I’m an avid online dating app user. This goes against every safety precaution I take, but the idea of inviting a total stranger into my house, not exchanging a single word and fucking him silly does it for me. Only after we’ve both come to a bunch of times would there be any conversation.

-Lisa, 41

Sex in (Semi)Public

I’m out running with my partner. We’re on our usual loop at the nearby park. He grabs me roughly by my wrist and pulls me into the nearby woods. He drags me deep into the trees as he scouts for the perfect spot. Once he finds a tree he likes, he shoves me face-front against the trunk, pulls down my running shorts and thrusts himself deep inside me from behind. We can see and hear people not so far away and the idea of getting caught is irresistible.

-Paula, 32

Sexual Wish List

I was not a cool girl in high school. In fact, I didn’t lose my virginity until after I graduated from college. I often fantasize what it would be like to have sex with all the guys I wanted to fuck in high school and college. In my fantasy, they all lineup, begging to fuck me, and I take them one by one, kind of like my own greatest hits reel. Most of them are married and have kids now, but it’s still hot to think about.

-Jenny, 39

Role Reversal

My wife loves to be dominated. Tied-up, handcuffed, spanked, gagged – you name it. And I guess as, for the male, I feel like I should take on this role. I jerk off to the idea of her “turning the tables” and surprising me one day when I come home from work. Most of the time, I imagine her as a strict teacher type or the mean babysitter I had when I was a kid. I can’t complain about our sex life, it’s pretty good, but it would be nice to switch things up from time to time.

-Tom, 35

MMF Threesome

This isn’t the most creative of fantasies, but it works for me. I’ve had MFF threesomes, but I really want to have sex with two men. I love the idea of being the center of attention of two tall, strong men with big, beautiful penises. Like Hemsworth brothers beautiful. Bonus if the guys are into each other too.

-Maddie, 50

Sex Positions

Our sex positions tool can be used to filter through all positions we have on the site. Use it to find the best positions for just about any encounter

Open Stance Position

  • Open StancePosition
    Sex Tips
  • The Peg Position
    The PegPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Shoulder Stand Position
    Shoulder StandPosition
  • The We-Vibe Position
    The We-VibePosition
  • Binding Spoon Position
    Binding SpoonPosition
  • The Galley Position
    The GalleyPosition
  • The Ditto Position
    The DittoPosition
  • Going for It Position
    Going for ItPosition
  • The Hinge Position
    The HingePosition
  • The Tango Position
    The TangoPosition
    Kinky, Vanilla
  • Hang Ten Position
    Hang TenPosition
  • Dog Leg Position
    Dog LegPosition
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  • The Munch Position
    The MunchPosition
  • Bend Over Bathtub Position
    Bend Over BathtubPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Bend Over Boyfriend Shower Position
    Bend Over Boyfriend ShowerPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Tongue Tied Oral Shower Sex Position
    Tongue Tied Oral Shower SexPosition
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  • Wet Lap Dance Position
    Wet Lap DancePosition
    Sex Tips
  • Slippery Missionary Position
    Slippery MissionaryPosition
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  • Soaking Wet Doggy Shower Sex Position
    Soaking Wet Doggy Shower SexPosition
  • Sexy Avocado Position
    Sexy AvocadoPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Lesbian Rocking Horse Position
    Lesbian Rocking HorsePosition
    Sex Tips
  • Lesbian Reverse Missionary Position
    Lesbian Reverse MissionaryPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Lesbian Spooning Position
    Lesbian SpooningPosition
  • Scissoring Position
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  • Lesbian 69 Position
    Lesbian 69Position
    Sex Tips
  • Armbinder Gag Bondage Position
    Armbinder Gag BondagePosition
    Sex Tips
  • Bent Over Bondage Position
    Bent Over BondagePosition
  • The Perch Position
    The PerchPosition
    Sex Tips
  • The Ship Position
    The ShipPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Toad Position
  • Love Seat Position
    Love SeatPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Turtle Sex Position
    Turtle SexPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Happy Scissors Position
    Happy ScissorsPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Extended Cowgirl Position
    Extended CowgirlPosition
  • Knee Touch Position
    Knee TouchPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Middle Stump Position
    Middle StumpPosition
    Sex Tips
  • Pancake With a Pillow Position
    Pancake With a PillowPosition
  • Reverse Missionary Position
    Reverse MissionaryPosition
  • Reverse Spoon Position
    Reverse SpoonPosition
    Sex Tips
  • The Challenge Position
    The ChallengePosition
  • Pitcher's Mound Position
    Pitcher’s MoundPosition
  • High and Tight Position
    High and TightPosition
    Sex Tips

5 Mirror Sex Positions to Kick Off Your Playdate

Hey, Candii here,

Now really some of these moves I wouldn’t do why?

Look for gods sakes most of them look like a man’s penis will break and how the hell is Canadian Bacon Air wow, make sure you clean your back end that is all I can say..


Do you also notice it seems that its man oh man on these .. i don’t see women’s titles… hmmm something is happening to this example?

Takeaway: Mirrors can add a new dimension of fun to your sex life! Enjoy the view!

As if #SexSelfies weren’t enough, having had the chance to see shots of you and your playmate in action might just have sparked all kinds of dirty thoughts that will undoubtedly lead to the need to do one thing: actually see yourself in action.

But wait – this date night doesn’t involve a camera of any sort. All you’re going to need is a full-length mirror and a comfortable surface to get you started.

Here are five great sex positions for using a mirror to watch yourself in action. Note that these positions are designed for anal sex between two male partners. If that isn’t you, feel free to adapt these to suit your own needs – or check out this piece for some other ideas just for hetero couples.

The Canadian bacon air position is a tasty fix for both playmates. Your visual stimulation is completely heightened by using a mirror while watching you and your partner get into some sexy new angles!

The Follow Through

The follow through sex position provides deep penetration – and a great opportunity for both partners to watch themselves in the act. Because both partners are facing the same way, this sexy position is extra hot when it happens in front of a mirror. You can get the perfect view of every sweat-dripping thrust!

The Backdoor

The backdoor sex position is as sexy as it is simple. This is a classic position to thrust it out to in front of a mirror. Watch every bit of yourself in action – the way it was meant to be!

The Clean and Jerk

The clean and jerk sex position is ambitious and involves some serious lifting for the partner on the bottom, but it does provide a great view! Spreading those legs in front of the mirror will make for one hell of a view!!

End Around

The end around position can be awkward, but it packs a serious physical – and visual – punch. This position offers an intriguing piece of visual sexual imagery in front of the mirror. But it is designed for those with some athleticism and experience. Just don’t lose concentration!

Pop Your Cork: The Ultimate Guide to Squirting Orgasms

The Biggest Tabboo ever!!!!

Takeaway: A squirting orgasm can be a mind-blowing experience, but it’s one that’s often misunderstood – and it isn’t for everyone.


Have you ever watched a bit of porn, found a GIF online, or read about a woman who’s orgasm squirted in great, wet splashes from her body?

Did you think that what you were witnessing or reading had to be fake, another bit of sexual lore that creates unrealistic expectations for us mere mortals to compete with?

Think again.

Squirting orgasm, often referred to as female ejaculation, is a very real thing for some people. As with all things sexual, these super-soaked orgasms occur on a spectrum from grab-a-bucket to almost nothing. Plus, not everyone is capable of squirting during the climax.

And that’s OK too.

Whether you’ve heard that squirting is a myth, ejaculate is pee, or you’ve heard that anyone can squirt with the right technique, we’ve got your ultimate guide to teach you what squirting orgasms are (and are not) and how to possibly have one for yourself.

sexual, this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not an event to stress you out or make you question your sexual abilities. If squirting fascinates you, keep an open mind about the process, try to squirt if it appeals to you, and remember squirting orgasms aren’t required for mind-blowing sexual experiences.

What Are Squirting Orgasms?

Call it squirting, gushing, sporting, or plain old ejaculating, squirting orgasms are (quite literally) orgasms that cause a rush of fluid to be expelled at the point of climax.

It’s very common in porn, which has caused some debate over whether the practice is fake or not. Note: Sometimes it’s faked in porn, sometimes it isn’t, and yes, women can and do squirt in real life. (Learn more in 6 Good Reasons to Believe That Squirting Is a Real Thing.)

Because each woman is different, not everyone can achieve the geyser-like squirting orgasms portrayed in porn. Even some squirters won’t gush every time they climax, and when they do, it won’t always flood the bed. For those who actively want to squirt during an orgasm, it’s important to remember that the harder you try to achieve this “milestone,” the tenser you become, and the more elusive your liquidy explosion will be.

How and Why Do Squirting Orgasms Occur?

Ask a woman what makes her squirt and the answers will vary. Some say that G-spot stimulation is required. Others need both G-spot and clitoral stimulation. As a squirter, if I’m relaxed enough and have had enough stimulation in other parts of my body during foreplay, all I need is steady and firm clitoral stimulation and I’ll soak the bed.

Squirting orgasms are not new things, although the G-spot “discovery” only dates back to the 1940s when a German gynecologist, Ernst Graffenberg, and American Robert Dickinson found a “new” erogenous zone on the vaginal wall. Insert a finger into your vagina while lying on your back so that your fingers press into the top part of your vaginal wall. When you feel a rough, spongy area, that’s your G-spot (named for Dr. Graffenberg!). Yet even prior to this realization, squirting orgasms had been documented as far back as first century Rome.

Because most female ejaculation is associated with the G-spot, this small, but very important, spot in a woman’s vagina takes center stage when discussing the gushy orgasms many women experience. Direct and repeated stimulation to the G-spot can, under the right circumstances, produce a squirting orgasm for some people.

How to Have a Squirting Orgasm

There is no guarantee that you will have a squirting orgasm, even if you try every tip and trick you can find. Like everything having to do with our bodies, our mental health, hormones, moods and ability to relax play an equal role with the physical stimulation. Even with perfect technique and a Zen-like calm, you may still not be able to squirt because not everyone can. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun to try!

Squirting isn’t proof of desire, a rite of passage, or even necessary to have a fulfilling, healthy and exciting sexual experience. However, if you want to try to squirt, here are some tips and tricks to try:

  • Before you get started, drink plenty of water. Squirting, if it’s going to happen at all, is more easily done when you’re hydrated.
  • Next, prepare “the area” – wherever you’re about to try to squirt. Put down a towel. Get out the old sheets you don’t care about. Cover your mattress. Whatever you need to do to prevent sleeping in a wet spot, do it. I have friends who use an old shower curtain to cover their bed or wherever they’re getting freaky.
  • Now, relaaaaaaaax. Getting stressed out over whether or not you’re going to squirt is the first step in making sure you don’t. Meditate. Listen to music. Cuddle with your partner. Be naked and enjoy skin to skin contact. Maybe try a sensual massage with oil. Whatever helps you de-stress, do it.
  • Warm up with plenty of foreplay that you and your partner really enjoy. This will help you relax mentally as well as physically. There’s no rule about what your foreplay has to be. If kissing and soft strokes work, do that. If you’re a little kinkier and need a hard spanking or hair pulling, that’s good, too. What you want to do is prime your body for the stimulation to come (no pun intended).
  • If your body doesn’t produce a lot of natural fluid, no worries. Pull out your favorite lube for this squirting experiment.
  • Try G-spot stimulation first. For some women, myself included, these orgasms can take a while to build up. Patience is key. If you already know you don’t enjoy this kind of touch, skip this and go straight for clitoral stimulation.
  • Use your fingers by inserting one or two (whatever is comfortable) into your partner’s vagina. Bend your fingertips into a “hook” and make a “come here” motion. You should be tapping against the vaginal wall. Feel around for the rough, spongy section mentioned above – that’s the G-spot. If you’ve been to G-town a few times, this should be the easiest part.
  • Communicate and pay attention to find a speed and intensity that is pleasurable and builds desire and a feeling of pressure. That means an orgasm is looming.
  • If tapping doesn’t do much for you, have your partner try thrusting as if their fingers were a penis. At the same time, they can press their free hand against your pubic bone to create added pressure and friction. If neither is doing anything for you, you may want to try a toy. There are plenty of toys available to stimulate your g-spot like the Key Comet G Wand by Jopen or the Soraya by LELO.
  • Add additional stimulation by stroking your partner’s clitoris, stimulating the nipples, or other things with your free hand (or mouth) that your partner enjoys.
  • If you’re possibly going to squirt, you’ll feel a very familiar sensation, but it will be out of context. The pressure building toward your impending orgasm may feel very similar to the sensation of needing to pee. This is part of where the idea comes from that squirting is actually urination.
  • At this stage, if you have that feeling, you’re going to need to relax your muscles and allow that sensation to flow through your body. The first time I squirted I had to tell myself it was OK to “let go” of my orgasm. I’d spent my adult life holding it back because I thought I might pee on myself. In an orgasm, your muscles clench and tighten but this is the one spot of your body that loosens its hold and allows the squirting orgasm to gush (or trickle) from your body.
  • After you’re done – having sex, creating more gushy orgasms, whatever – make sure to drink water and rehydrate. Yes, you can become dehydrated if you have enough squirting orgasms in a short amount of time – I have, and it wasn’t pleasant.

If you felt warm fluid squirt from your body during climax, congratulations – you’re officially a squirter. Yes, you can call yourself that even if it only happens this one time. If it didn’t happen, that’s OK too. Squirting takes practice and, as I mentioned before, it just doesn’t work out for everyone because bodies are different.

Squirting isn’t some sexual right of passage every woman has to achieve before calling herself sexually satisfied. Only continue trying to squirt as long as it remains a fun thing to do. Once it begins to cause stress or feelings of inadequacy, stop and do something you really enjoy in bed.

If you need more than a few tips, there are plenty of resources out there promising to show you exactly what to do. A quick Google search will provide more than eight million responses. You can read books like “Squirting: It’s Easier than You Think” by Raine Leigh or takes online courses like the Squirting Triggers Training Course at the School of Squirt. No, these aren’t endorsements of either, but proof that squirting is on a lot of people’s minds and that there are plenty of techniques to try.

The #NotPee Debate

Among those of us who squirt (and talk about it online), there has been a debate for a while about whether we’re peeing all over ourselves or if the fluid pouring from our bodies is genuine ejaculation. One small (but heavily publicized) scientific study – with only seven self-professed squirters as test subjects – found that because the fluid that gushes out of some of us during climax contains similar properties to urine, it must be pee. The Internet cried foul, including me.

Epiphora, an amazing and talented sex blogger and reviewer, began a hashtag campaign called #notpee and encouraged fellow squirters (and lovers of squirters) to share our stories and spread the word. I jumped in with both feet, writing a passionate rebuttal based on my own experiences. Probably not my best writing, but it was certainly heartfelt.

The idea that women may experience years of denying their own orgasms (like I had) for fear of peeing on themselves because clickbait articles called their natural ejaculation process “urine” made me see red. It was another example, in a long, winding road of them, of women’s sexuality being denied in yet another way – at least to me. The fact that it came on the heels of female ejaculation being banned in porn in the U.K. added another layer of insult.

The pee vs. #notpee debate isn’t a new one. Sunny Megatron, in a 2014 episode of “Sex with Sunny Megatron,” took two samples of her own body fluids – urine and ejaculate (from a squirting orgasm) – to be tested. The results weren’t surprising to fellow squirters: The chemical properties of the two fluids were different. One was clearly urine. One wasn’t quite the same thing.

Other studies contradict the controversial study (that received the most attention) and show that women may have their own version of a prostate gland known as the Skene’s gland which produces a fluid that is chemically different from that of urine. Call it wishful thinking on my part, but I’ll take the studies that show proof that (for some women, at least) the fluid we’re squirting in great gushes during orgasm isn’t pee.

My Experience With Squirting Orgasms

My first orgasm (at age 32) was a squirting one. For my entire adult life, I’d held back every climax I might have had – and there weren’t nearly enough of them – because I genuinely thought I was going to urinate on myself and my partner. Imagine my surprise when just a few years ago, I discovered that instead of peeing everywhere, I had the ability to flood my bed with ejaculate instead. These days, they don’t happen every time, and they’re not always as big as they have been in the past. But yes, squirting is possible and no, it’s not urine.

Go Forth and Squirt … Or Not

You can add squirting orgasms to your bucket list if you want, but do it with the understanding that not every woman squirts. And squirting once doesn’t mean you’ll do it again. The stars, moon, sun, and your body may all have to align perfectly to make it happen – and sometimes that’s just not possible.

If you decide to try this for yourself, stay relaxed and realistic about your results. You are still a sensual, sexual, beautiful person, even if your orgasms are hard to come by and never erupt out of your body like Old Faithful. Whatever type of orgasm you have is a good one. Orgasms, squirting or otherwise, should be a part of your sexual journey, not necessarily the end goal every time. Enjoy the ride and worry less about the destination, especially when it comes to squirting orgasms.


Hi Candii here,

Actually some of these are pretty good worth a listen… get your naughty on ladies and gents….. 



It’s about that time! Time to, as the great Marvin Gaye once said, get it on. There’s a hottie in your bed, the candles are lit, and yet something is missing.

Duh: it’s the music! When you’re about to bump ‘n grind, some good sex songs are essential to set the mood.

Anyone who ever put their iPod on shuffle right before they were about to get nasty will tell you: put some thought into your bedroom playlist!

You don’t want your heavy metal collection to ruin the mood. Somehow hearing a dude screech “I WANT YOUR SOUL,” from the top of his lungs, is kind of a… buzz kill.

Good sex songs, however, can really help set the perfect mood for you and your lover to get it on.

With these 15 hot and steamy tracks pumping out of your speakers, you won’t even have to worry about your performance. The experience will be sensual and magical either way.


There’s just something about the classics. The smooth, velvety voice of Marvin Gaye could put Lord Voldemort in the mood. ‘Let’s Get It On’ has been an anthem for makin’ sweet, sweet love ever since the seventies. Chances are you were even conceived to this song. You’re welcome for that image.


2. GINUWINE “PONY”(1999)


If you’re horny, let’s do it. Ride it, my pony.” If you’re a stripper from the early 00’s, you probably know these words by heart. But seriously, the dirty beat and even dirtier lyrics will get anyone where they need to go.




Time to get cheesy! If you like to take it sweet and slow, then this not so subtly named song will set the perfect mood for you. A song for those who prefer making love to… fucking.


4. LL COOL J “DOIN’ IT” (1995)


If your perfect Sunday consists of you and your hookup just lying in bed all day and doin’ it, then this is your hip-hop soundtrack. Extra points for the sexy moaning in the song!




Let these sensual beats take you away on a slow sexy ride into bone town. How does it feel, you ask? Well, there’s only one way to find out.




Go full-on nineties R&B and hip-hop in your bedroom with this sexy track from Blackstreet. Dr. Dre’s deep, masculine voice singing and humming will make you wet in all the right places.




Have you ever covered yourself in honey and let your lover lick it off of you? Well, if you haven’t, the vibe of this song describes what it feels like. Surrender to the sweet, 70’s sounds and enjoy. Oh, honey!




Remember that one broad-shouldered professor you always had a crush on? Yeah, this song is kind of the soundtrack to all your naughty teacher fantasies. Robin Thicke has never been more smooth. Let him teach you a lesson, girl.




Of course, no real music list is ever complete without Queen B. There’s something undeniably sexy about this track. Let Lady B’s sensual ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ inspire you to make some noise yourself.




When the urge is high, why wait until tomorrow if you can get it on tonite? The funky beats and Montell Jordan’s irresistible voice will seal the deal for you. Girl if it’s alright, let’s go somewhere and get it on tonight.




“Nothing can compare to when you kiss me there.” I think all the ladies can relate to these words of wisdom by miss Rowland. Press play on this song when you’re about to get some kisses of your own down low. Baby, just like that!




No one does sex songs better than the legendary singer-songwriter Prince. Feeling scandalous tonight? Let the smooth music and Prince’s emotional voice take you to a land of pleasure. While remaining in the comfort of your own bed, of course. You don’t want to get too scandalous.




This hot track by former One Direction member Zayn Malik is not just appropriate for pillow talk. It’s also quite enticing to listen to before it’s time for chatting. “In bed all day, fucking in”. Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about!


14. USHER “NICE AND SLOW” (1997)


If you feel like makin’ love until the sun comes up, hit up your boy Usher. Anyone who likes to make love nice and slow will appreciate this sexy song.




Ever fantasized about an all-girls slumber party getting a little naughty? Well, Britney Spears, queen of sexy voices, has got you covered. If hot slumber parties had a soundtrack, this would be it. Enjoy Brit’s sensual moaning voice while living your own naughty slumber party.

4 Reasons Why You Have Better Sex Than Your Grandparents

Hi, Candii here,

Unfortunately, my grandmother if alive would say.. some things are best unsaid, however, that gorgeous women and her beautiful way of explaining a story about herself had a lot to say and not enough which is good because it kept you thinking later of so many possibilities..

She was quite something her husband my grandfather had been dead for sometimes and her late husbands best friend would take her on Sunday drives with his wife sitting in the back seat… it was a bit weird as I knew something was going on…

But, she never told me god damn it!!!

I said, nan Fred likes you, she would nicely say, little Fifi that is enough of your naughty little ways your tongue will get you into trouble one day..

Guess what she was right!!!!


Takeaway: Take advantage of the changes and a more open environment that has been created for sex.


I consider myself very lucky. At the other end of a phone line, whenever I want or need, is my Grandmother; all 95 years and counting of her.

Full of spunk and sass, she’s the type that will help wheel people 20 years younger than her down to the dining hall of their home and, if the need arises, she’ll have also shucked the corn they have for dinner. We chat weekly about all kinds of things – my family, her town, her elder’s view of world events, and much more.

But we do not talk about sex.

That’s not entirely true. I remember a very brief mention of sex after I had a vasectomy. She made a quip about hoping everything still functions. That was it. Because, despite the many changes in the world in her time, sex was and forever will be a hush-hush subject for her. I’ve no doubt she’d have some good stories to tell, but at the same time, I am sure that we’ve got better ones. Those changes? Those changes have let us all have better sex than our grandparents.

So, what has changed, besides our better openness to actually mention the word sex? Is the world that different? Oh Nellie (a fave saying of my grandmother’s), it sure is! If I try to compare what my grandmother came of age with and what my kids are going to know, it makes me feel pretty sorry for older generations. Here are four reasons why we all have better sex than our grandparents.

We Talk About Sex

The basic starting point is that we talk about sex. We talk about sex more on a Facebook thread of a Buzzfeed quiz than my grandmother would have for years at a time. Part of the reason we can do that is that sex was introduced to us through formal and informal sex education.

Sure, the formal sex ed most of us received was lacking, but at least there were usually diagrams and labels and names of sex organs. It was a starting point. I am sure that my grandmother and her friends had chats full of giggles at recess. We are now, finally, starting to let kids talk more openly about sex. That is leading to more public conversations.

Now we have people – all sorts of people – who are fantastic sex educators. People who write sex review blogs, people who lead workshops, and people who are activists who are ready to call out those who attempt to keep sex a quiet topic. Our grandparents didn’t have these opportunities because there was no space for it in their society. Slowly, we’re ensuring there is space for greater and better education.

Most of us have moved to a point where we need to talk about sex. We’re no longer content with romance novels, innuendos in media, and veiled references. We’re no longer content with letting the great pleasure potential of sex slip through our fingers because it isn’t on our lips. Fortunately, we have the technology to really express these feelings. Also, while slow and not always accurate, the media is also starting to embrace the conversation about sex. We’ll work on making it better as we go.

We Have Better Technology

Technology drives so much of our lives. How could it not also be improving our sex lives? Not only do we have online sex education, we also have app-enabled sex toys and teledildonics, and even internet pornography and virtual reality porn experience that we can tap into and enjoy. In other words, our sexual selves and sexualities are something we can explore in a number of unique and enlightening ways. I’m not sure our grandparents had any such opportunities beyond a few dirty magazines and their own imaginations.

We Have Porn

Another reason, albeit controversial, that we are enjoying better sex than our grandparents is porn. Hey, we all know porn hasn’t and isn’t always a good thing and most of it should not be used as any kind of instructive sex material.

However, porn has opened many people up to the many varying options and potentials of their sex and sexuality. Being able to watch other people enjoy positions, oral sex, and BDSM is more commonplace. We can access this resource at almost any time. Back in the day, if someone wanted to watch other people fuck, they had to pay a pretty penny and likely visit some less-than-reputable vendors to attain reels of stag films. Our porn industry is not perfect, but it is definitely moving toward better ethics that past performers experienced. It’s also portraying more kinds of sex between more and different kinds of people.

Read: Why Women Should Watch Porn Too

We Have Easy to Access to Sex Toys

On the same “at your fingertips” theme as porn is our easy access to the wonderful world of sex toys. Pleasure products have taken off in the past few decades with products that are better, sexier and more technologically advanced than ever. They are also becoming more prevalent and more accepted as great additions to our bedrooms. Stigma about using a toy to get off is dropping.

In past years, devices such as vibrators were scarce, and more famously used as tools to treat hysteria in women – not as a casual orgasm accouterment. Sure, dildos of various sorts have been around for centuries, but they definitely weren’t the body-safe, anatomy-optimized beauties that we have today. Women, in particular, now have greater control and access to their bodies and pleasure than they ever had in the past.

Celebrating Sex

So, how have all these advances happened? Why are we in such a better spot? The answer is twofold: one reason practical, the other psychological.

There really is so much to reflect on when it comes to all of the sexual advantages we have that our grandparents were never afforded. I can only imagine the shenanigan my own dear Grandmother would have gotten up to do.

here’s a happy thought, though: those grandparents around now who are interested in sex have all of this – sex toys, porn, technology, and education – available to them to enjoy as well!

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