End of a Journey… or Is it?


So, how does a Journey End, well, normaly,  I guess it would sound a bit like this, it is with love, respect, fabulous chemistry, trust, definately, communication that I will ever know in my life.

Then I would perhaps thank those who we had multiple times in the sack with and I would go into many experiences and even probably a sex hot story or two…right!

However, I cannot really tell a lie, it’s been close due to our minds thinking it.. is that an experience or is it a story in your head?

Hmm???

I am not an expert on the art of Sexual Taboos love to tell you a different story but, alas I would be lying, and that well, isnt me.

I guess we all have limitations and at times mostly fears mainly because we don’t tend to focus more on the positive side of life… It seems that people gravitate to a negivate picture of life rather than the positive which in fact is a damn shame.

I have a very limited sexual past damn it, that could be because I was married young, and it could also be those choices that we make in life well, end up being experiences that we need to work on further. “SHIT REALLY? NO”

For men though that old saying, “The World is my Oyster”, bless them for having that beautiful, birth right, as a man, you have the ability to do pretty much anything without even being slammed really.  I suppose that is the best part of being a male, they can sleep with as many women as they want, because let’s face it they are legends, and you know what why the “hell” not, really.best-sex-songs-of-all-time-kiiroo_2048x

So, I heard a funny news heading, the other day it was, “women have two choices, they can either be a “good girl or a “whore” unfortunately, there is no other choice for us girls.

Well, you could pick other sexual likes if you wish however, it really isnt the same is it!

So, ending of a era perhaps, it is, who really knows, no expectations ever was really set in stone, I guess if you “wave a magic wond” and the girl will turn into a slut for the evening without any repacutions, then that would be ideal, right?

Slut, what a word, jesus, that is the most horrid name a girl could be called, however, it all depends on how that is constructed in a story really, lol

I thought I was open, honest enough, I thought I did my best at connecting, loving, being a loving wife, however, I do believe, that perhaps, I was a little “wilfill”, perhaps a little “outspoken”, maybe a little “Rebellious” if you wish.

I have used bad language, but, I cannot seem to be able to cheat on any of my past partners, and definately my husband Courtney, I have loved that man since the day I met the blue eyed, long sandy, haired beach bum, that I remember walking into my home in Mt Hawthorn.

Talk about a journey of two willfill, outspoken, hugely loud individuals that we where and always have been, we have loved hard, we have fought hard but, we did both work very hard to making it to 21 years in October the 16th.

Does everything last forever, I had hoped so, who knows, it could, maybe, however, who knows what happens tomorrow perhaps if you have a crystal ball, you could tell me what our outcome will be that would be nice.

I had visioned many, many experiences of openness, honesty, trust that only those who worked hard for it could possibly master that title of a beautiful word..

Trust, true, loving, devoted, honoring, they are beautiful words that make you swoon right?, however, as we all yearn for Connection, finding that like-minded partner, we tend to walk our path which we talk about a lot..

concentrate on the path, stop looking for that damn squirrel, it will bite you, I am telling you, both of us always tend to get a bit bored on our path of life or perhaps frustrated in trying our asses off in getting there.  Suddenly, you find reasons not to walk the path and your then both with each other on the same damn path but, I always laugh about that squirrels we would always have in front of us or back of us.. all depends. (that was a joke)

friendshipsfirst

The Squirrel, is basically a term for a different route to life because I guess that is just a human aspect of our characters we all get a little stuck on something and before you know it our sight is forming on a different route because it entertains our minds.

I got a bit side tracked there, I am a little upset tonight, I guess, I am having a bit of a shit evening thinking of my future of being a counsellor and a sexologist, why? well, I guess it’s because perhaps I may not be as open-minded as I thought I could be.

I had this vision of helping those who needed our help forming a team of great minds with huge experiences, by empowering couples, singles, young adults in giving them “tools” to live a life better, happier, sexier, open with each other.
In doing this though of course I had to be open, honest, and probably think out of the box by putting ourselves in boxes that normal everyday couples don’t or wouldn’t dare.

Why? Funny, well that is how you experience life, you’re a better counsellor or sexologist by talking to couples who are out there swinging, saying and doing things that other couples wouldn’t do because well, its taboo of course.

Not just Taboo, risky, too hot for us kinda, I really didn’t get that far, nor would have maybe that’s my problem, who really knows, I listened very well, I struggled with us both having behaviour (mostly me).

Limitations due to disagreements of  little bumps  that can come up, and that worried me why? Well, because my hubby is important to me.. and I was trying to understand how this could ever work.. without drama, agruements, etc.. so you tend to watch each other and make decisions based on what you know.. and perhaps that is the wrong thing..   What you know, is what you know?

So, what if it worked out????????

That my friends is the BIG question… however, ego, pride, jealousy whichever, could get into a messy, messy moment so, perhaps we talked too much and never did it..

that isnt a bad thing.. its a loving thing.. respectful, but, not a spontanious thing… if there is no connection, understanding or even a mind that is like minded then why would you be that stupid for male on male or female oh you get my point…

Risks are BIG or NOT…. you need to work that little bugger out…. now dont you??

And many times I felt no fear and so wanted to open up turn around and see what I life I actually decided to slow it down to make sure this is what he wanted and of course I wanted as well.  Our marriage is important to us and so are our friends, family and people that we socially know and I am not one for liking that hurt factor especially, if I have never experienced a connection that we all could experience or together I really have no answer to things I don’t understand nor let alone experienced.

I did ponder and my husband did on Redhotpie, to see what was out there and many other sites, and I have written some of what I have seen and it is a bit of a difference of likes and kinks out there which is healthy and as most would call it Taboo..

voyeurisme

So, how do you know if you can do such things? GOOD question!

I guess behaviour, has alot to do with it, if your living life and enjoying your life together and growing and understanding and loving then you have no hick ups.  However, if you see hic ups, of anger, broodiness, and just not quite there yet, you tend to slow it down until you see those roses I guess.

It can possibly hinder your marriage, I have to say, it has pushed us both into a bit of disputes we seems so fustrated so you commuicate to understand why right?

Let’s face it Brave it is… it takes alot of trust, and love, and you must always, always, talk to each other especially those hard difficult talks.. you know, those talks of honesty, those are the ones that get you both hostile from time to time because you could both disagree or perhaps agree.. 

We are all different

This is good, to do, and if you can do this without a arguement then all lights are green it’s fine weather right!  Well, life isnt that simple, now is it we all have bills, fustrations, road blocks, we both have different personalities and ideas of how that looks and it is an interested talk but, at times can easily get lost in translation and a little insulting towards each other too.

This is normal though, just sometimes I guess your obsticles can get stuck a bit and we will then go into a different mindset called, “Ground hog day”, this is where we go over, and over the same talk until we are wanting the conversation STOPPED!

Sound familuar, yuppers, too familuar, but, of course it is healthy because you care and love one another and you both dont want to be misunderstood!

Well, I guess, even those taboo goers may talk about this with each other of course it would be much different because they live that life style and really it  is part of there lives so what they talk about isnt what we talk about..

I have limitations as a female, I have been in situations that you would call not good, and for me it was important to make sure that we both where safe so we spent alot of time talking and sometimes we wouldnt and those times where good times.

Life together as a couple is either easy, hard, difficult or no way, we have church on Sunday and we better eat the bread of christ so, there is no naughty naughty, right!

So, is it over?

Time will tell, and I guess, or hope it isn’t but, this isnt easy, wish at times it was, and funny enough the more you talk, the more you talk yourself out of a situation and then it turns into a spat a tac.

Fustration comes to mind, remember a good connection is all about being honest, open, trustworthy and loving if you find any of those emotions lacking then you need to refocus because it will tarnish and harm your beautiful marriage.

The yeses, become no’s and when they are questioned sometimes incequirities arise where they never rose before.. why? well, tabboo county comes to mind, and parts of your inner self does tend to get stuck on something that even a elephant may have trouble in explaining whys, could bes, of course and definately NO’s.

Just focus on your Communication, trust, openness, a want for both partners, never leave a partner back in the car park wondering which lane to park the damn car, this could take years and lots of tears..

And most definately Enjoy your lives because we only have 1 life so experienc it with openess and most of all love… very important..

man-person-taking-photo-photographer

Candii xx

Categories: Owner of The Candii ClubTags: , , , , , , ,
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