My true story by Candii,
It comes a time in one’s life where you go, fuck it!
I did this a long time ago when I was young mum, single experimenting with lovers and finding out who I was and where I fit in this world!
I really did learn a lot through my journey it wasn’t about sex it was however, about people and who you trust and those you wouldn’t save if your life depended on it!
TRUST IS A BEAUTIFUL WORD!
One that I hold dear to my heart – those that are not worthy will suffer what life throws at them no matter how hard they try, why?
Well, good question really why?
Well, it’s about values that people have deep inside them and truly I believe what is rubbish normally stays rubbish… frankly, I never lose any sleep over those that have dealt me a bad card through my life.
I find it funny that even right down to the “good old fashion Looks department”, you really look like shit!! alleluia baby!!
The gods paid me back a lump sum, just by glancing on your “ugly revolting face”!
Once a doosh bag, well, you will always be a doosh bag, and may all that has horrid moments be yours and yours alone…..
So, why so harsh Candii,
Well, because I learnt very harshly, after the fact, many years ago, I was harshly beaten, I was raped and drugged and within a 24 hour barrier I was raped by two men separately and felt like my entire life fell apart in that moment when my legs gave way and I could not get up from the ground where I laid and sobbed my heart out!
Many times I used to think about that night/day and it gave me grief however, now I only think of those that did it and that little girl who tried to be the best mum she could with the little she knew and those she trusted around her.. which wasnt many if at all!
I told no-one until I met my husband but, of course as I did I swept this under the carpet like most moments of grief and dealt with it the only way I knew.. quietly and silently..
We all have crosses to bare and times in our life that we wished that didn’t occur but, with time, love and those trusted beautiful friends and partner that I have I lived another day and I am here to tell it … not so graphically but, I am telling it the way I want to tell it..
Words are harsh, memories are harsher but, never think for one moment that I didn’t learn from many times and many experiences that I would rather do without..
So, beautiful people who have beautiful hearts and souls be the best you can be and always get help because strength within is one thing.. however, grief isn’t something I would recommend for those that have fallen like I did..
And wish those that require help to share their experiences however, only when your ready to do so… this will help those that have felt the sting of what I felt!