Let’s Start with the Face of Stress
- What does your stress look like to you?
Our brains are hard wired to react to high stress situations this is a given because it is our safety net. If we hear a threat our brains percieve it as a treat to us or a put down or perhaps your attacking me…
Go figure…. and then she woke up
It then signals a amygdala, this is our bodies alarm system, which tells our brain to act without thinking..
The amygdala responds to situations with that make us either fight, flight, freeze in situations that make us a little uncomfortable. It’s just our way that protects us, however, our stress reactors cannot tell the difference between real or false dangers.
For example: Your little girl went into the bathroom and found a sharp pair of scissors and cut her pony tails off, then she came into show mum..
Now, imagine you as the mother… your in shock your horrified your upset because of many things it could have been worse…
This all depends on your stress levels and your own upbringing and what you consider is stressful so your triggers either would be higher or lower it all depends on what triggers your reactions to fear, to anger, to hostility, to protecting yourself, to many levels that could or could not trigger…stress.
So in this case our first inital reaction is horror to your little girl cutting off her hair or your reation may not be fear or horror it could go straight to anger and revolt.. it all depends on how you would see this as your stress level…
When we “fly off the handle,” it happens so quickly and we aren’t thinking about how our children are perceiving us.
Our reactions can be very scary to kids.
Also, we are modeling that this is how grown ups react to stress.
If we choose to be more mindful by pausing before responding, we can teach kids they too can pause and choose to respond instead of react.
Managing our own emotions and behaviors is the key to teaching kids how to manage theirs.
It is the reason airlines tell us to put our oxygen masks on before you can put on your child’s mask.
You need to be regulated before you can model regulation for your
Unfortunately, when you’re stressed out, exhausted, and overwhelmed, you can’t be available for those that expect more from you without thinking that they are..
Remember they only know what they only know…
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity and without judgement.
There are two parts to mindfulness
The first is learning to focus attention on one thing, and being able to bring the attention back when the mind gets distracted.
The second part is about the attitude you bring to paying attention – being open, non-judging, and curious about what you are focusing on.