What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of talk therapy that’s designed to help individuals and couples address medical, psychological, personal, or interpersonal factors impacting sexual satisfaction.

The goal of sex therapy is to help people move past physical and emotional challenges to have a satisfying relationship and pleasurable sex life.

For a sexual person it’s a belief of understanding yourself first and being true to your feelings this isn’t about staying inside the box of life it is about doing the opposite of it.. Franny x

How does sex therapy work?

Sex therapy is like any type of psychotherapy!

You treat the condition by talking through your experiences, worries, and feelings.

Together with your therapist, you then work out coping mechanisms to help improve your responses in the future so that you can have a healthier sex life.

During your initial appointments, your therapist will either talk with just you or with you and your partner together. The therapist is there to guide and help you process your current challenge:

  • They are not there to take one person’s side or to help persuade anyone.
  • Also, everyone will keep their clothes on. The sex therapist will not be having sexual relations with anyone or showing anyone how to have sex.

With each session, your therapist will continue to push you toward better management and acceptance of your concerns that may be leading to sexual dysfunction. All talk therapy, including sex therapy, is both a supportive and educational environment.

It’s meant to provide comfort and encouragement for change.

If your therapist suspects the dysfunction you’re experiencing is the result of a physical sexual concern, they may refer you to a medical doctor.

Your therapist and the doctor can consult about your signs and symptoms and work to help find any physical concerns that may be contributing to greater sexual problems.

Many people want to know what sex therapy is, and how it differs from general therapy.

They should specialize to treat specific sexual disorders, situations and problems in an integrated manner with other therapeutic techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness meditation and systems therapy.

Seek your doctor as your therapist should only be able to discuss your personal, sexual problems between both of you or if you prefer one on one counselling.

Anything that has to do with perscription help or personal health with your sexual organs I would suggest you seek help from your doctor.


The below has a link that discusses the rest below – not written by me

Performance Anxiety while Dating and/or in Relationships

For single and newly single men the dating world poses challenges in what men feel is expected of them. The culture pressures them to be ready willing and able to have sex whenever a partner expresses the interest and consent. For men in committed relationships, the anxiety to fulfil what a partner is desiring can have a domino effect over time and lead to sexual avoidance. Learning how to express one’s needs, fantasies and desires can be challenging in these situations. Sex Therapy can address these and help people overcome these concerns.

Erectile Dysfunction

There are several causes to ED including medical, pharmacological, intrapersonal (issues relating to your own psyche) and interpersonal (patterns between partners). Many times the domino effect of ED is sexual avoidance with his partner. This then has the next domino effect of the partner experiencing a wide array of reactions including concerned, rejected, lonely, sexually frustrated, angry and avoidant themselves. The impact on your relationships(s) can cause tremendous anxiety and strife.

Uncontrolled (Premature) Ejaculation

For some men, the ability to control when they want to climax can cause dissatisfaction and disappointment for themselves and their partners.

Inhibited (Delayed) Ejaculation

The difficulty to climax with a partner can cause rifts with partners and most men don’t feel it’s an issue until they’re in a long-term committed relationship and their partners are feeling anxious, rejected, frustrated, and/or worried about becoming pregnant if that is one of their long-term goals.

Past Childhood Abuse or Trauma

One’s sexual history involving abuse, rape or boundary crossings can have a profound effect on one’s current and future relationships. Sex Therapy is an integral part of a person’s and/or couple’s recovery.

Out of Control Sexual Behavior

One can feel the compulsion to watch porn for so many hours that it interferes with their professional or personal functioning or can’t stop pursuing hookups for the sake of the thrill or high. Sex Therapy takes into account the behaviour and the underlying reasons into the multi-axial assessment and treatment.

Sex Therapy Issues With Which Women Seek Treatment with Sari Cooper & CLS Therapists:

Low Libido

One of the most common problems women bring into sex therapy is lack of desire. This may be due to medical issues, side effects from medication, hormonal changes and/or complex issues in one’s relationship. Sex therapy looks at all the layers that affect this presenting issue.

Pain During Intercourse

At CLS we do a thorough biopsychosocial assessment and work with other healthcare providers to help women get a proper diagnosis and treatment for their Genito Pelvic Pain/Penetration Disorder including Vulvodynia, Vaginismus, and /or Sexual Aversion.

Past Childhood Abuse or Trauma

One’s sexual history involving abuse, rape or boundary crossings can have a profound effect on one’s current and future relationships. Sex Therapy is an integral part of a person’s and/or couple’s recovery.

Inability to Orgasm

The inability to reach orgasm (Inorgasmia) can be a frustrating experience for a woman and her partner (if she’s in a relationship). We work on this issue with both the woman and her partner so that both are educated and supported during the treatment.

Sex Therapy Issues With Which Adults Seek Treatment with Sari Cooper & CLS Therapists:

Sexual Avoidance

Although some couples have a terrific bond and relationship outside the bedroom, many times they come to feel like platonic roommates. The thrill of seductions, the excitement of passionate play has been stripped of the relationship. We work with couples to explore the timeline of the changes or the milestones that may have contributed to the shift. At times the avoidance is due to deeper issues in a partner’s history or a couple’s initial non-verbal contract.

Discrepant Desire

A common difficulty occurs when partners have different needs or desires in the frequency of sexual connections.

Infidelity/Affair Recovery

The discovery of an affair or cheating incident wreaks havoc on a couple and is experienced as a crisis in their relationship and family. We at CLS are trained to help a couple works on the recovery of trust but also address the challenges to their intimate life.

Lack of Technique as a Lover

Due to one’s cultural, religious or at times psychological reasons, a person may not have a lot of experience with a partner and this make affect their confidence in dating or at the beginning of a relationship. Therapists teach clients through resources and home play assignments to be watched, read and/or practised between therapy appointments. We also focus on the cultural myths that may be impeding one’s exploration of one’s sexuality.

Kink related Issues

Whether one is interested in lighter power exchange or more intense BDSM type play in your sexual relationship, a person often has difficulty discussing these types of desires and or fantasies with their partner/spouse. Sex therapy sessions allow for a neutral well-trained therapist to lead the discussion and offer education and resources to a couple or individual.

Non-Monogamous Relationships

Sometimes a couple would like to negotiate or re-negotiate their monogamy contract to include other partners. These conversations can be challenging given the fears and jealousy partners may experience in branching into a new type of relationship openness. CLS therapists are trained to offer guidance and perspective on the non-monogamy issues and boundaries that need to be discussed, possible challenges and how this fits into their developmental stage as a couple.


CLS are experienced therapists and are sensitive to the needs of LGBTQ clients and their partners. Sari and her team use a variety of approaches with their clients in therapy depending on the issue they are looking to address. Some of these theoretical techniques include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
  • Family Systems Therapy
  • Mindfulness
  • Sensate Focus
  • Body-Focused Play


Categories: Owner of The Candii Club


%d bloggers like this: