The End of the D/s Relationship…

Coping with Release of a Sub or Dom…

Remember, both these roles are not without the other each role each other plays in this lifestyle, kink, roleplay whichever, you both cannot exist without each other.

So, be respectful, understand both of you are in this together, understand what your likes are and what they are not talking to each other, this is the serious part of this you both must talk.

It is an investment in time, energy, emotion is at least equal to one another a Dom is not different, he feels the same space he only sees what you tell him if you do not tell him how do you expect him to understand what you like.

The same is for the Sub if she is not going to vocally use her voice right, wrong, whatever use your voice tell me what you desire, likes, dislikes, if he loves you respects you and wants this then he will listen to you.

Both of you are responsible for your own parts when playing in this lifestyle, you cannot expect them to know if you don’t talk to them, explain to them in a respectful manner do not blame each other.. that is not going to end well.

Time, patience, understanding, and most of all you cannot fake in this lifestyle if your mind, the body is turned on then show it, release yourself to it and give each other yourselves and let me say this.. if it’s for you … you will both know.

The mind and body are uniquely created for you both if it doesn’t do it.. then find something else that will.. if it does.. then there is no faking it..

You cannot fake this lifestyle at all… it is what you are and he is together so trust yourself.


I am bringing this up as I have read a few ladies that have come across this before or even recently in their current or semi-current relationships.  Remember, when you dabble in this lifestyle at the beginning of any new kinky roleplay of being a Submissive you will come up against those that really don’t get it, or perhaps yeah, sure it is about whips right?

No, this is to some of us more than just stupid whips, however, do not allow those that use that kind of talk towards you as a deferent to put you off… Learn from this experience and understand more about why you like this in your life..cuffs

My Story

Let me explain my own experience a very long time ago…

I was a young 28-year-old young woman single mother and recently divorced from a man that was pure vanilla.  Internet was new and I was introduced to a system called MIRC, which was a place that did not share pictures it was purely words on a screen.

I came across a channel it was called BDSM, had no idea what it meant to me it was a few angry aggressive men and a few weak minded women with no opinion except yes, no, and I will do as you say, for me it was stupid and ridiculous speaking.

Of course, I was a menis and a pain in the ass on that channel but, to be honest, I would get on it and make trouble, it made me laugh, however, those that ran this channel took it seriously and to me that was interesting.

I was kicked off, told to go away, I have no manners, I need to learn before I should enter such a room.

Me: Get stuffed, how dare you, who do you think you are, I have rights, I am allowed to say what I want, what kind of male are you, of course I got wild, angry, and pissed off.

Him: He was stern, agressive, called me a child, go back to mother, blah, blah, blah, however, he found me pleasing because god, knows why to be perfectly honest.

Me: I found it intoxicating and very adictive and it made me feel something for the first time in my life.. and I liked it and wanted to understand why, so I started asking him questions and that is where my whole life changed..

The meeting was not a success he wasnt the person I should have met however, nothing this fake Dominant did to me and he did some nasty things dont you think for one moment he didnt… He was very violent and extremely abusive, he got off on humillation and much worse…

It did take me time to even think about doing it again with anyone … in fact it took me 4 years until I met my husband..

Firstly, I must admit it would be difficult for anyone mainly because of what you surrender too and how you do it… However, I firmly believe that if your an Empowered, Powerful, strong, female or male if you’re the submissive.unnamed.jpg

So, remember, if this person didn’t treat you right, then learn from how you met them, what was it that they lacked and learn from it.. do not wallow about him or why he was a smuck, he was a learning for you… if you are drawn back into this lifestyle then understand what you lacked and pick better..

Communication is the key, Chemistry is a must, Kink is a duo of two people connecting him being what he likes and you loving what you like…

Remember, we are what we do… we also only know what we know.. so use your brain and research, be more careful and grow up and smell your roses ladies, men, we and they are a union of two people you cannot make someone do something they do not like it won’t work..

So, meet those who get you, understand you and most of all are turned on by the same like… Communicate your likes, understand your threshold, discover by learning and being respectful towards each other before you allow someone to beat your ass..

Once you have understood each other like each other and most of all get each other than learn more, grow together, he or she isn’t there for one person it is a two-way street.

Or Three eventually if you wish or four, you get my thoughts right!
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And most of all enjoy it… if you don’t like it say it…. use your voice… that is what we are here for…

If you don’t you won’t grow, understand, or love what you desire and it is okay to feel whatever you both feel.. and never give up on each other…

Make sure they are with you.. not against you.. and Enjoy it, talk about it, and most of all do it…

Candii xxx



Categories: Owner of The Candii Club

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