Blinded by Fear… Frozen in time…


I don’t believe that anyone has really cracked the code when it comes to human emotions our deep seeded feelings are and I believe can be rooted within our mind.

Fear and being blinded by is such a terrifying emotion especially when you have both at the same time I had no idea it drove so much emotional chaos within my own self and it nearly drove me mad with panic-stricken WTF, a moment in fact Terror!

However, it wasn’t really that it was something else that affected me by being so frozen and so tunnelled that it annoyed and frustrated the hell out of me and the fear was all about me!

It is helpful to know what types of people, situations, places or relationships trigger our fears.

  • What type of person feels threatening to you or perhaps you of them or a moment in time that seemed to be present but, wasn’t about that moment!
  • What are you most afraid of, and why? 
  • Or are you afraid to risk standing in your own truth in case they don’t love you anymore?

Judgement was one fear I had of myself more than I had of any real situation that I had encountered in my life I felt like I was doomed to be placed in dangerous places and I was angry at “me”, “NOT” anyone else but, “me”!

So, in many ways, I felt that I went partially blind, not in the real sense of the feeling it was like I was stuck in a tunnel of trouble which in fact was within my own mind.

The entrapment that I created was epic not a great word to use epic, perhaps mammoth the more I tried the more I got stuck and my mind started to believe that I can alter this thought, feeling, stuckness that I had put myself in by understanding it.

But, how does one do this?

In, the fact our emotions are wired within our minds and without truly understanding the how’s or the why’s I guess not only my vision was depleted my own mind started to become more difficult to understand myself.

I was frustrated, angry, hostile, moody, my behaviour altered so much I felt myself going back and the more I tried the more I just got so damn sad and furious – with “myself” more than my partner.

Whom I am humble for his help and continual support, I really did think at one stage which I would not have been surprised that we would have been broken.

Hopefully, we still have a marriage and a sex life and a future together as I do believe we as a couple are so damn strong and the right type of ingredients to make a great dish so to speak!

I was lucky I have a brave husband who helped me and I have to pat myself on the back for my own self worth and strength that I was able to alter my mind by listening, understanding, and changing all these 3 words are the most difficult emotions we can do and it really isn’t that difficult!

I do need to apologise to a few or perhaps a friend that we both have or my husband likes to say this person is his friend and not mine, ha!

Shit, probably right! 

Whichever, what will be will be if not well it wasn’t meant to be I guess, no point in harbouring on something that isn’t real now is it… hehehe .. and if it is well, I have a lot to answer for… (btw in the next room is the whips and chains, I am) And, Btw, that was a joke!

Anyway, moving along I happened to speak to a very lovely girl last night on a wordpress blog and she, in fact, reminded me of my own Blinding if you will, a more frozen state which hopefully I won’t be so much this day… God, I can only hope at times what lingers in my mind and soul far out at times I am so annoying!

We often are not even aware of how much it actually drives our lives.

Fear is paralyzing and controls so much of our emotion.

To be afraid is to be fully human.

Whenever we feel threatened, we experience fear in our bodies.

Fear is anxiety, fear is greed, fear is jealousy, fear is an addiction.

Fear is at the bottom of all we might want, long for and dream of and don’t follow through with.

In our society, there seems to be a need to push fear away and say it doesn’t exist or that we are never afraid.  Fear has become an enemy.

Of course, fear is uncomfortable we are only what we know I guess.

Yet, we when we are willing to face our fears, we can learn what we need to do to work with them.

By knowing ourselves, and honouring our fear, we can begin to learn to face our fears and use tools to help us manage our lives from a more empowered place.   

Life will bring us what it will.  It is our response to our fears, to our loss, that helps us to gather courage, strength and brings us resiliency.   

Learning to see the reality of a situation, being willing to ask helpful questions as well as asking for support and help, makes facing our fears something that helps us build self-esteem and resiliency. 

It can give us a sense of control over our lives and can give us permission to face our fear, not try to hide or protect ourselves, from fear of further pain. 

The more we are willing to face our lives head on, the more we experience mastery in our lives.  So, take a deep breath, and face your fears.

So, the above was once upon a time in my me… Now not so much, in fact, I am fine with me and those that are in my life.

Be kind to yourself and those that care we tend to be a little harsh on good people :0

Love Franny x

Categories: Owner of The Candii Club

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