It may not be your fault, but how it affects you is your responsibility. Do you tell the story from the view of a victim or one of empowerment?
Someone took your power away. The fault is theirs. How they deal with what they’ve done is their responsibility. If they live with guilt or they continue to push their luck, one day to face consequences.
How you deal with it is your responsibility. You have the choice of how to deal with it. You can avoid the issue, You can “try to get even” and risk dealing with consequences of your own. You can find support to help you out of what you see as a bad situation.
Do you take on responsibilities that aren’t your own? Whose responsibility is it to make someone else happy or make them feel a certain way? It may be your fault they do or don’t, but is it your responsibility?
If it’s your responsibility to take care of someone else, who’s responsible for taking care of you? (sarcasm)
While you’re micromanaging someone else’s life because they can’t handle it themselves, who are watching what’s going on in your life? Have you put that responsibility on someone else? Do you think they’re doing a good job? (again, sarcasm)
I hear couples say all the time that it’s their responsibility to make their partner happy and their partner is supposed to make them happy.
Well, if you don’t even have enough faith that they can take care of themselves, do you think you’ll trust them to take care of you? If they don’t think you can take care of yourself, do you think they’re going to believe that you can make better decisions for them than they can? Do you wonder why these relationships end up in a constant power struggle? Each blaming the other for everything that goes wrong.
It may sound crazy, but this is why we stay in these relationships or always want to be in one. When we’re on our own, we have no one to blame. We are forced to take responsibility.
The alternative is to dissect the story and find the power in it.
What lesson can you take from the experience? What could you do differently in the same situation again? How can you help others in the same situation?
Your story can either be your deep dark secret or your inspiration or source of empowerment.
When you tell your story, how do you tell it? Consider how it sounded the first time you told it. How does it sound now? Who have you trusted with it? Who do you share it with?