Archive for ‘I NEED YOUR HELP’

Men also suffer in silence…


Men need Love.. they need US ladies to love them…. so love them please..

https://www.thinkmentalhealthwa.com.au/

 

Hey there ladies Candii says, 

Don’t be hard on our MEN….. they are beautiful and we need to embrace them and love them and tell them everyday just how beautiful they truly are to US and our children….

 I have all respect for MEN love them, they live in a world that us women tend to be very particular about our dear beloved men.

We never give them enough, say enough, love them enough and personally we should do MORE, Love them MORE, Make love to them more, show them we are proud of them more.. I don’t believe we do this enough… in our lives..

Love our Men.. because they are worth it……

WHY?

Because they are truly beautiful souls, apart from being hot, gorgeous, supportive, warm hearted and some are even toasty to the touch especially at night when your cold they are perfect to snuggle up too… ANd they love us so what else do we want…. seriously??

 

Do you think I am right???? 

Please add comments on what we can do to help our beautiful partners….. Suggestions on where they can go for help (if they cannot speak to us then lets help them find a place they can speak too)

Suggestions??

 

Watch this beautiful lady hosting this news piece… love you for being open and honest…… be true to yourself.. ladies and gents.. and get help them

If you know someone suffering them or suggestions please add it to this

 

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/men

Call beyond blue 1300 22 4636

or Speak to Me Candii….. happy to help you …

What has changed for me?


I am the one on the left in Black I think I believe I was 18 years old

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Since discovering alot about myself and who I am now I believe I have changed or you could say I am changing within how I feel about alot of things.

I feel very delicate to the point of “those days of me standing up for myself”, I am tired of doing now, I really don’t want to argue or even hear someone shouting and that scares the shit out of me to be perfectly honest!

I have and cannot tell you how many years I have been around people who yell, scream, shout, tell others how disappointed they are in them, and how disappointed they are of you as a person.

I feel like I am walking on ice, it’s quite strange to be honest, and as I was in my own world when my husband came home tonight, I switched off, didn’t mean it I guess, it is because I am trying to search for my own place in this world.

Sounds morbid, sorry I really don’t mean to sound that way I am typing this as I am feeling it so don’t be surprised if you re-read it or not!  That it might change again! and stupid enough again!

I seem to type stuff and sometimes I think I have got it, then I find that I have lost it again, is this ever going to STOP?

That is my question .. can and when is my life going to mean something?  Am I ever going to feel like I mean something to someone?

I know my husband loves me however, why do I feel so like I never seem to come up to someones standards, which in fact is something I have come to understand that is what my life was and hopefully not will be continueing going forward..

It is like he will never allow me close to him, it is like he has his own scares that I had hoped he would share but, the more I grow the more he retracts  and denies himself of trusting me..

What do I have to do to help him know I am here for him.. just like he has been for me..

 

 

https://thecandiiclub.com/2018/05/30/what-has-changed-for-me/comment-page-1/

So, if anyone that wishes to comment or help me understand that I am not the only one out there that feels this way.. I would love to hear your comments… please

Good Will Hunting.. the Famous Robin Williams.. did this role beautifully!


Like I said, this tells a tail of alot of us and per say some of us, in all if we where subjected to abuse, trauma, etc, and recovered (when I say recovered i say this tongue in cheek) I will also say, with anything in life a CHILD who does survive such hideous, depending on this scale will and no doubt have a distorted outcome on their adult life.

This will vary in each of us and that level of abuse a child is subjected to.. we must understand sometimes, we unaware of our biggest Friend or Foe, the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, this area of how we adapt is questionable!

Which means depending on what the abuse is.. if it is sexual then who can tell until the are older how they look at life sexually!!

For me well, As that famous commercial that sold alot of chicken.

“I like it like that”, Finger licking good!” ha!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/compassion-matters/201805/it-s-not-your-fault-overcoming-trauma#=_

I do agree with the above and here is the link that states it very well.. have a read

There is a famous scene in the film Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams, playing a therapist, compassionately repeats the line “It’s not your fault” to Will, a troubled young man with self-destructive tendencies, who happens to be a genius.

The line is a response to the revelation of abuse Will endured as a child.

At first, Will is dismissive of the statement, but as his therapist steadily repeats “It’s not your fault,” he becomes increasingly agitated.

Finally, he erupts into emotion, tearfully allowing the meaning of the words to sink in. This scene is a powerful signification of what trauma can do to a human being.

It is also a testament to the importance of anyone who has experienced trauma embracing the irrefutable reality that it is not their fault.

The character Will may have been a victim of what’s often referred to as “big T trauma,” which can include serious abuse or a life-threatening event.

However, a person does not have to have experienced an explicitly existential event to experience trauma. “Little t trauma” comprises events that may not sound as dramatic as that of war, devastation, or extreme violence, but that significantly impact individuals by causing them distress, fear, or pain and, therefore, change the way they see themselves, other people, and the world around them.

Too often, people seek excuses to dismiss, bury, or overlook both big and little t trauma. They may tell themselves “it was not that bad,” “others had it worse,” or “remembering won’t do any good anyway.” Or they even say things like, “I deserved it,” “I was a bad/difficult kid,” “or “yes, it was hard at the time, but it made me the strong independent person I am today.”

sneeky peeky – As the Beautiful PINK says it so well, Beautiful Trauma,

They’re resistant to facing what they endured and what it’s done to them.

Whether we try to bury or ignore it or not, the impact of a person’s trauma remains. The American Psychological Association wrote that “traumaticevents challenge an individual’s view of the world as a just, safe and predictable place.”

Back to my thoughts see my link about my own life… https://thecandiiclub.com/2018/05/29/can-you-identify-who-is-more-driven-to-suicide/https://thecandiiclub.com/2018/05/29/can-you-identify-who-is-more-driven-to-suicide/

This shake-up to a person’s very worldview changes the course of their life.

“The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating,” wrote Dr. Peter Levine, author of Healing Trauma.

Like I said, in my previous link on this page….. https://thecandiiclub.com/2018/05/29/can-you-identify-who-is-more-driven-to-suicide/

“It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making.

It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors.”

The emotional or physical abuse and the pain people have experienced early in life bends them out of shape in many ways, most of which the person is unaware. The mistreatment of an individual within a family is something my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone(link is external), has described as a “human rights violation(link is external).” He’s written extensively about the toll interpersonal pain and traumatic childhood conditions can have on a person’s freedom and expression of individuality, including that they lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses(link is external).

“No child is born bad or sinful; rather, the psychological defenses that children form early in life are appropriate to actual situations that threaten the emerging self,” wrote(link is external) Firestone.

“These defenses attempt to cope with and minimize painful experiences and emotions suffered in one’s developmental years; however, as noted, the defensive adaptation tends to become increasingly dysfunctional.”

People who have experienced trauma may form these defensive adaptations to protect themselves early in life, but these very adaptations can go on to limit them when danger is no longer present.

Young children who’ve experienced trauma tend to internalize much of their pain, blaming themselves for their suffering and struggling with feelings of guilt and shame.

This is especially true of trauma experienced at the hands of parents and trusted family members, as young children often find it too threatening to see the faults of their parents fully.

When a child is born, trusting their parents is a matter of survival, and seeing their parent as neglectful, uncaring, or even abusive can feel like a threat to that survival.

As a result, the child forms defenses to cope with painful circumstances, and they internalize their suffering, seeing it as a reflection of some deficiency in their own personality.

They distort their image of themselves to make sense of their maltreatment and believe themselves deserving of the pain they endure. It never fails to surprise me when children as young as 5-years-old reveal their “critical inner voice(link is external)s,” harsh, self-hating attacks that they think about themselves.

Where did these ideas come from and how do they influence the child’s formation of their self?

My Captain, My Captain

Question Time: What Is Love?


HERE IS A GREAT CHALLENGE FOR THOSE WHO DARE…. READ ON…

PLEASE READ ON….

 

Before I do this I came across this via ward clever’s post https://wardclever.wordpress.com/2018/05/09/question-time-what-is-love/

Have a view you will notice that I have pretty much argued the point with this lovely person who allowed me to use his post because I found it interesting..

I noticed most people stayed within the either A or B answers and explained themselves the reasons why.. then you have Me, a very irritating, annoying and most of all opinionated female that seems (rolling my eyes typing this) to make it her business to argue and decide to look outside the box by challenging these two answers.

So, I am hoping that some of you or at least a few of you will answer this questions he posted however, I am going to put a few “other” answers to his original post.


 

 

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Question Challenge – think about it for a while, and then answer. Stare at the picture if you need to. This is purely hypothetical, of course, so give a hypothetical answer.

A real, genuine hypothetical answer.

Would you rather be married to or exclusive with

A) someone who doesn’t love you?

OR

B) someone who you do not love?

 

C) Explain why you could not do either of the above?

 

D) My want is just SEX so, I do NOT NEED to love a person to do so, if you answer this one you must explain why you answered this..

In other words, is it more important to love or be loved?

What do you think is the difference between loving someone and being in love?

And do you think it would be harder to tell someone you love them when you don’t know if they love you, or to tell someone who loves you that you don’t love them?

 

So, above is his question to his blogging mates… what is your thoughts on the above?

I would loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to hear from you on these questions via comments

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