Happy Partners… What are my tips…

Here are some tips from me Candii,

How to have a happy husband, ladies you may not like what I am about to say but, this is clear as crystal for you all.

If your husband isn’t happy you must think about why?

Think back to when you both first met each other, what was it that you liked about him, was it his strength, handsome looks, personality, was it his beautiful manner, was he a great listener, was he a good boy, bad boy, what did you love about your man…

Now, think about you in 2 years time is he still happy, are you both giving towards each other?

If in 2 years time your both arguing, or perhaps a few areas a lagging behind what is it that has changed?

Now apart from agressive behaviour, abusive manner, bad behaviour isn’t and will never change because that isnt an area within a 2 year time frame this kind of behaviour should be tolerated by either parties male or female, now that is out of the way… lets get back to what I am trying to say…

So, when we meet our potential partners we have to remember what makes us as partners women amazing..  now, this is the part I really cannot tell you how important this area is… our men our gorgeous hard working, beautiful men are your compliment to a successful partnership.. we as women should “NEVER”, EVER”, make our partners less than what you first saw in each other…

Which means.. we do not degrade our partners, make them feel less worthy than ourselves, WE ALWAYS respect, love, care, nurture, support and communicate with our best intentions.  why?

Because this is exactly what we would want them to do with us?, Right?

We do not detach and remove our partner’s balls… it’s their balls…  It is a man’s birthright to have them NOT Ours…

So, ladies, this is your first mistake if you are dominating towards your partner, If he isn’t helping you discuss it with him, communicate with him but, never demand from someone that you would not want from yourself.

Men’s Health – Reminder

Our men are silent suffers they seldom cry, they never show too much emotion, they keep most of their business to themselves.. they work every day if at home, work, around the house they normally are pretty business dudes..

The emotions these men have are mostly deep inside themselves because that is what they have been brought up to be MEN, so be mindful, of them and be kinder to them we wouldn’t have our children if it wasn’t for these men and if you love, care and respect them they will treat you the same and always keep open that communication with him.

Being mindful is the least of what us as females should do.. we are not princesses, queens, nor are we the bitch in the block with his cock!

If you wish to be this person then expect an angry lifestyle and a dissatisfied life, be openly honest, and loving, always vocalise how you feel to him because our feelings are valid, required, needed, not doubting that.. this, however, is about men…

Many men suffer and many men hurt themselves by drinking, cheating, hurting, yelling, this is because either they cannot realise their inner feelings because we have not allowed them to use their voice in such a manner..

I feel we discount them and should actually embrace them more because they are pretty special dudes and to have them means your a pretty special chick to have them… open up, nurture your needs be mindful it is a two-way street…

he is not your daddy unless that is a sexual roleplay 🙂


There are many levels of the above title and let me give you ladies the hot tip – old saying if you cannot hold your own self in a sand pit get the fuck out..  You have no business in the sand pit if you are going to change him, own his balls, demand or even dictate.

They will bolix you and you better understand if you cannot take it don’t give it..

Personally, I do enjoy a bit of a badly behaved boy because they are playful, naughty, push my buttons and I do enjoy it.. However, I can take it on many levels…

I am a rebellious woman with a soft, medium, loud, naughty, stubborn, and many other levels, however, I too can be annoying, a pest, brat, and sometimes selfish, which isn’t great but, it is me.. so those boys who like me will tolerate it and probably tell me to shut the hell up, which would be correct most of the time..

However, I would never, ever want to change my partner for the world.. more than I want to see him happy, achieve many things in this life, have great mates, and grow with him on a respectful, playful and fulfilling level going forward.. that is the key you know having an amazing life together and enjoying it with him.. or her…

Sexual fulfilment, happy children, empowered teenagers, always remember it is a two way street with each other… open up your mouth, and communicate, remove and work on your insecurities if you have them, communicate how you both feel and always, always be open to listening your might surprise yourself.

Try to not say NO….. and ask more what each other wants out of this limited short life… both of you can have the most amazing journey going forward by just being able to do the above… 05371ac0c9859eabefaef5f333707213

Be kinder, be open, be mindful, be respectful, be loving, be adventurous, be sexual, be the best you both can be and give each other a break from time to time..

Our minds are hard-wired in an old belief…. which in most cases isn’t working for most marriages… and in most cases it is…

Would you both prefer holding yourself up…. or is it your job to hold everything up?

Think about that before you whine about one another…

What do you do with your partner that isn’t about you?

And how many times do you say no to each other?





Dressing For Sex


How important is dressing up for Sex?

To me, it’s very important to my partner who I want to impress and get turned on and obviously for me as well because it seems to alter my mindset and it seems to do a lot of things..

If I am having a full on chat with my partner because let’s face it in Sex play its about the mind, the behaviour, the mindset of wanting to have sex and of course a positive outcome of doing this.

So, what do we do?

Well, we communicate a lot we discuss many factors especially when you want your sexual needs met and of course his as well..   It has a very important factor in sex play and how a night goes with your partner or even playmates.

Having sex isn’t just having sex.. its about many factors if you want more from each other its about setting the scene, the minds of those your teasing and pleasing and of course your own..  

For me I have a very vivid, open, and it seems very vast mindset when it comes to curiosity of sex, how it looks, what it feels like, how far I can go… our minds are the most important sexual organ in both sexes we want to be turned on, we want to be teased and challenged, we want our limits pushed, let’s face it why wouldn’t you?

Many would not agree with me.. however, If I asked you seriously do you love having good sex?

what is it that is good sex to you?

If you look at this picture below what do you see?

I see very dominant women on top of a male .. now this isn’t submissive at all this is a woman who put on an outfit to do exactly that.. she is straddling him in an aggressive, hot, dominating style she has his necklace held a whip at the back and an amazing outfit, hair, g-string the who look is hot and very dominating and empowering for a female..

Kink is no different when you put on an outfit look at the outfit and think about how it makes you feel.. remember your MIND is the SEXUAL organ your clothing is the scene, your mind will alter to the state of what you’re wearing if you allow yourself that freedom to put your mind there.

We hesitate as females and I believe it is because of many reasons, however, I want women to do some women time think of it as a test for your own self..

When you go shopping and see costumes, lingerie, hot lingerie do yourself a favour and get a spray tan it will make a difference and go lingerie shopping with your gal pals.

It will make you laugh and funny enough you both will enjoy it maybe even purchase it when you do this think about the outfit and put some attitude behind it.. 

Its alot of fun and you will be surprised just how awesome it will make you feel..

enjoy Ladies, Candii xx


When we have a big night out, an important meeting, a special social gathering we put a lot of time and attention into what we wear. Yet when it comes down to bedroom play we sometimes forget the fun of preparation and indeed unwrapping.

Dressing for sex can be intimidating, especially if you’re someone who has never indulged in this most enjoyable past-time before. You might feel its contrived or worry you’ll look daft. Fear not, we ALL think this at first. We worry what our partner will think when in all honesty they are usually too blown away to think at all.

An effort is the best way to keep a relationship fresh and dressing for play makes you feel super sexy as well as allowing you to dip into a little escapism. There are many forms of dressing for sex.

Lingerie L Plates

The most obvious version is of course lingerie. It is hard to escape the seductive nature of lace and satin against your skin. It provokes sensual feelings in even the most reserved of us. If you’re new to this starting small helps.

Selecting a pretty set of bra and knickers can put a spring in your step knowing you have a secret beneath your clothes. Your partner will love seeing this when you get home. If you struggle with body confidence don’t feel like this rules you out. There are lots of flattering, well-designed lingerie which covers more skin than you’d expect.

Basques, camis and corsets are all perfect for covering up whilst still looking like a Hollywood starlet. There are many Basque and Corset options which work as shapewear as well. Allowing your waist to shine and enhance your silhouette. They can add lift and boost to cleavages and visual tricks such as boning, and panelling create hourglass curves from nowhere.

Lace and Satin

Bodystockings are another option which are sexy but forgiving for beginners to dressing up. These stretchy all-in-ones are usually made of lace and are one-size-fits-all in base and plus size options. My only criticism of bodysuits is the lack of support. This isn’t great if you have bigger boobs.

Latex Leather and Lace sell a vast range of lingerie from flirty lace to slinky satin in both base and plus size options. Lingerie is a fantastic way to start out your dressing for sex adventure. Once you’ve got this under your belt you may want to experiment with something a little more dramatic.

From the Club to the Bed

Dressing for sex doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom. There are myriad design options which happily co-exist as both bedroom wear and club wearNoir Handmade is one such brand. They have a wide range of gorgeous dresses and separates which can be worn out and will almost always result in an early exit home! The see-through fabrics and clingy skirts are super flattering and dramatic. They bring out sides of yourself you perhaps didn’t know were there.

The full-length fishtail gowns bring to mind visions of Game of Thrones, they scream quality both in fabrics used and design and style. Meanwhile, if you fancy something with slightly less impact there are a great selection of slinky little-wet look or lace dressesPink Lipstick is another brand offering super sexy little dresses which can be worn in or out of the bedroom for some exhibitionist fun. Team these with stockings and heels and free your inner sex kitten, both in and out the bedroom.

If clubbing isn’t your thing these stunning outfits can be kept for a special bedroom date night. Although, don’t be surprised if you find they stay on during the fun. Thanks to super easy access via zips, skirts and stretchy fabrics there is no need to disrobe, and why would you want to when you look this good??

Fetish Funimg_4099.jpg

If fetish is your thing then prepare to indulge yourself in a treat for the senses. Leather outfits evoke primal sensations with the inimitable feeling they have against your skin. The scent and sound of the swish. It’s almost impossible not to have some kind of D/s feelings when wearing leather. For something, more gentle PVC is a sexy option and makes a great catsuit.

If you fancy splashing out on something special latex is hard to beat. Latex feels like silk when worn and hugs the body in a way nothing else does. Even the most “normal” of outfits feels kinky when made of latex. There has been a surge of fashion latex recently and it’s becoming far more mainstream. Latex dresses are seen as acceptable outfits for a night out. Given the tactile nature of the material, it transfers to the bedroom beautifully. Whilst it might sound daunting latex is a fabulous way to dress for sex. It can cover as little or as much of you as you want and thanks to its second-skin like capability it still looks sexy AF.

It’s almost impossible not to feel sexy wearing latex. Stroking the silky surface over the curves of your body gives you an appreciation of how your partner must feel when touching you. The swish of the longer length outfits feels playful and flirty. Latex skater dresses look great and can be hitched up really easily for some quick action. The other benefit of latex is people tend to avoid wearing underwear beneath it so as not to ruin the lines of the outfit. Once you’re beneath it there’s no stopping the fun!

Playing Pretend

As I mentioned earlier part of the fun of dressing for sex is the escapism. Nowhere is this more evident than within role play. This is something people are often intimidated by but its massive amounts of fun! It’s a safe way to consensually explore different scenes and sides of yourself. Why not treat yourself to the Noir Handmade Acedia Dotted Tulle top and the Black High Waisted Wet Look skirt to become a slutty secretary. Team it with some glasses and prepare to take “dick-tation”.

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Us women love dressing up

Fever has a great range of sexy nurses’ outfits if you fancy playing Drs and Nurses. Set your partners to pulse racing in the Allure White PVC nurses’ outfit. Who says dressing up is for kids?

The icing on the cake of any of these options is, of course, the heels. Pleaser Shoes are my favourites for a sheer variety of “Bedroom Heels” on offer. I often hear people saying “Oh I couldn’t possibly walk in those but here is the beauty of bedroom heels. You don’t have to! It’s perfectly fine to wear them reclined on the bed, or purely to walk the few feet across the safety of your bedroom!

High heels boost my confidence when I’m dressed up. I feel taller, they make my legs and feet look super sexy and give me added va-va-voom. If I’m roleplaying I find it easier to be a dominant role in heels, especially being very short in actuality. I can find a heel to fit every role I want to play in the bedroom. From coquettish sex kitten to vampy bad girl.

There is a Pleaser Shoe to fit every taste requirement. From punky, goth Dominatrix style spiked heels to super cute pin-up style. I regularly lose myself for hours browsing FM Heels perusing the range of styles on offer. One thing is for certain, the heels always stay on!

Once the initial hurdle of awkwardness is overcome dressing for sex opens up a world of opportunities for play. It can boost your confidence and gives both you and your partner a thrill. Inject a little fun into your sex life and play dress up!

The Top 10 Questions on Sex and Psychology

For today’s post, I have put together an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. As you’ll see, these questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite a range of topics.

However, most of them are united by the same theme:

  • “What’s normal when it comes to sex?
  • What you’ll see when you read the answers is that “normal” does not mean just one thing!

10. How often do married couples have sex?

9. Do women become “loose” if they have a lot of sex?

  •  (Some women’s vaginas may become “looser” over time, but not as a function of how much sex they’re having.)

8. What percentage of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone?

  •  (Based on the research I’ve seen, about half of the women surveyed report this.)

7.  Is deeper penetration better?

  • (For most women, not necessarily—but for some it is. In fact, some women can reach orgasm from stimulation of the cervix.) 

6. Does penis size actually affect female pleasure?

  •  (The answer to the deeper penetration question above addresses the issue of penile length. But what about girth/circumference? Research finds that women tend to rate girth as the most important penis dimension. For a more detailed look at the research on this subject, see here.)

5. Do women enjoy anal sex?

  • (Many do, and studies find that it is an increasingly common sexual activity practised by women today. Although it didn’t make the top 10 list this time around, many readers have also been curious about how to make anal sex more pleasurable.)

4. Injaculation: Is it dangerous for guys to prevent ejaculation during orgasm?

  • (Probably not. There isn’t a single scientific source to suggest that this practice causes problems. In fact, this is actually a common and very successful technique used among guys who are trying to learn better ejaculatory control in order to resolve premature ejaculation.)

3. Is “rimming” safe?

  • (Like any sexual activity, there are risks associated with this one–but there are also ways to make it safer.) Make sure you check if the girl or boy has taken Xenical then your in for a surprise…lol

2. Why are so many straight men into transsexual porn?

  • (This is a common sexual interest among men and, contrary to popular belief, most men who are attracted to male-to-female transsexuals are not gay.)

1. I want to watch my wife sleep with someone else. Is that normal?

  • (Believe it or not, this is also a very common sexual fantasy among men. For an even more detailed look at the research in this area, check out this article.)



The 12 Sexiest Movies of All Time

eyes wide shut


The internet is full of sex. There are sexy pictures, sexy videos, and, of course, full-on porn. But sometimes you want to watch something provocative without seeing straight up sex. Lucky for you, the world has been producing sexy-but-not-sexy entertainment for even longer than the internet has been in existence.

When you want to watch something that’s definitively NSFW, but not quite PornHub, when you’re looking for sexiness, but not just intercourse, there are certain mainstream movies that land right in that sweet-spot. Here are 12 incredibly racy movies to satisfy your, um, urges.

1 ‘Eyes Wide Shut’

Released in: 1999

Starring: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sydney Pollack, Todd Field, and Marie Richardson

What makes it sexy: Stanley Kubrick’s last completed film was this erotic drama, which starred Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman back when they were still married IRL. It’s also notable for making masked orgies look like the sexiest possible use of a weekend.

2 ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Released in: 2015, 2017, and 2018.

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, and Marcia Gay Harden

What makes it sexy: Could we do a sexy movie list without including the Fifty Shades trilogy? Obviously no. Christian and Anastasia have been through a lot of sexy moments during the series, but that elevator kiss in the first flick? Still classic.

3 ‘Secretary’

Released in: 2002

Starring: James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal

What makes it sexy: Before Fifty Shades hit the scene and got everyone all hot and bothered about mainstream S&M, there was Secretary, which gives a much more grounded look at a dom/sub relationship than Fifty Shades. The indie favourite was written by Erin Cressida Wilson (who would go on to pen the screenplays for The Girl on the Train and 2009’s erotic thriller Chloe) and, fun fact, Spader’s dom character is also named Mr Grey.

4 ‘Cruel Intentions’

Released in: 1999

Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, and Selma Blair

What makes it sexy: It’s just your classic girl-bets-sex-with-step-brother-over-his-ability-to-seduce-another-girl-who-happens-to-be-a-virgin story. Okay, so that’s not a great set-up, but somehow Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, and Reese Witherspoon made it surprisingly sexy (so sexy that Reese and Ryan married the year it was released).

5 ‘She’s Gotta Have It’

Released in: 1986

Starring: Tracy Camilla Johns, Redmond Hicks, John Canada Terrell, Spike Lee, and Raye Dowell

What makes it sexy: You know what’s sexy? Female autonomy, that’s what. And Spike Lee’s 1986 classic She’s Gotta Have It, which follows a woman who’s dating three men, has that in spades. The movie is such a classic, it spawned a Netflix series of the same name.

6 ‘The Dreamers’

Released in: 2003

Starring: Michael Pitt, Eva Green, and Louis Garrel

What makes it sexy: The Dreamers is about a love triangle involving a brother, sister, and an American student in Paris. Eva Green stars and is supremely sensual. There are two versions of the movie out there—an NC-17 cut and an R-rated version that’s roughly three minutes shorter. Clearly, those are three important minutes.

7 ‘Y Tu Mamá También’

Released in: 2001

Starring: Maribel Verdú, Gael García Bernal, and Diego Luna

What makes it sexy: This is, hands down, the sexiest road trip movie of all time and a must-see for fans of director Alfonso Cuarón, who would go on to direct Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Children of Men and to become the first Mexican director to win the Best Director Academy Award, for Gravity.

9 ‘Blue Is the Warmest Colour’

Released in: 2013

Starring: Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos

What makes it sexy: In 2013, Blue Is the Warmest Colour, shook audiences with its arousing look into the nuances of sexuality. Based on the graphic novel of the same name, Blue Is The Warmest Colour follows the relationship of a French teen named Adèle and aspiring painter, Emma.

10 ‘Magic Mike’

Released in: 2012

Starring: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Cody Horn, Matt Bomer, Olivia Munn, Joe Manganiello, and Matthew McConaughey

What makes it sexy: Magic Mike turns the tables on objectifcation and focuses on a group of male strippers. When Magic Mike came out, I’ll admit, I was like “Huh? Why?” But then I saw Channing Tatum dance to “Pony” and I was like, “Oh. I get it.”

11 ‘Sex, Lies, and Videotape’

Released in: 1989

Starring: James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher, and Laura San Giacomo

What makes it sexy: Sex, Lies, and Videotape aren’t just about characters having sex, it’s also full of frank conversations about sex, which is fascinating and titillating in its own watoo. This Steven Soderbergh-directed film also marks a second James Spader appearance on this list, FWIW.

12 ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’

Released in: 2005

Starring: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Adam Brody, and Kerry Washington

What makes it sexy: Known forever as the movie that brought Brangelina together, Mr. & Mrs Smith is also the film that captures their early chemistry for the world to see. The scene where they literally bring down a house will make you understand why they had to be together IRL too.

Here is a suttle reminder to my fellow sisters out there…. let me know if you agree?

Endless, love, appreciation, devotion, honoured, Blessed and many other flavours that I would spend my entire life saying, until well, until a bit of rat bag behavior came pouring back into a mans viens like water out of a hose..:)


If I could put the above title or jibber-jabber into a longer word and as you can see I did try my best and guess what?

I guess it would be simply a thank you, for many things mostly something I had never seen .. isn’t it funny or strange and a little sad, really, when you never see something or have felt something you take longer to understand it???

Us ladies, we are so lucky at times, we can winge, moan, carry on like a pork chop, cry, and sob our eyes out with emotion and our sadness is heard 3 blocks away.. (lol)

Now men, well, they rarely cry, if ever, show any type of human emotion, when someone dies they hold it together, they work such long hours, their bodies are black and blue, and the result of many men who work they do end up with many injuries and they still stay silent..go figure..

Us women, we whine about why they don’t show emotion, we yell at them for not listening when those clever males have an inbuilt and so they should, the mechanism to shut that door of anything other than, a grunt of acknowledgement.  And then us women because we are the most annoying, pestering termites of no appreciation we ask them the stupidest question…

Did you even hear me?

If you did hear me then what did I say?

Now we know that question above is condescending, very mother-like behaviour, and we do know he will snap off our heads like we are Twiggs, but, we have to go there don’t we?


I believe we end up being thrown into a child tunnel vision mode and by the time you even have any energy left after the 6 kids, of course, all born 10 minutes apart are fed, bathed, clothed and rocked to sleep then we have a little opening to breath, shit and fart out our little we have left to spend with our hard-working bridge trolls..download (4)

that was a joke..lol

However, both can and will test us it is human nature…to a point. I have do have this thought behind my thoughts.. my husband’s nature is a real smart assed and very beautiful when he is in the mood, however, he does seem to press those bloody buttons of I will kill you while you sleep lol

I love him so….. more than he knows…. which I do believe he does…..

I will say I have never wanted to change him .. can’t say he didn’t want me out of the picture from time to time… but, that is another story…

I am sure at times that grave was shovelled to a fine art and I am certainly sure he has even grafted it with retainers and cement on the sides so I am surely going to be laid to rest and never be risen by walking soulless zombies…. another terrible joke..

More another day….. it is about time……… healed and it doesn’t hurt… go figure…

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You will know when it doesn’t hurt


The Ultimate submission is to be you…

According to me…


Husband, Dom, Friend, Master, Submissive me…

So, this is my take on what I believe would be the Ulitmate of Submission and Dominance, is having a Master and a Dom very different very hot and very much the taboo of all BDSM lifestyle living.

It is very strange to come to that conclusion or even put that in words to even think that could be even possible.. which I know in most cases in this lifestyle anything is possible.

However, for me, that seems so far-fetched and even too hot for even me to think that is something that I could consider..   However if you met me even the devil himself would have problems fitting me into satan’s den… however, that may be a little extreme for me even to say..

I am starting to remember who I was a long time ago back when things seemed simpler however, these days are more intense to say the least the feeling, meaning, and everything else that seems to be thrown into a box of tricks and very clear to me what this is all about…

Time wake up and be the person that I am destined to be…. if not them then that would be a shame… however, I have no doubt that I am what I am… and I adore everything about it and of course those that are around me as well..

No doubt… at all…

For the future of what will be… let it be what it will be…

The Rebellious Submissive..



When the Bratt starts becoming a little too Dominant…woops!!


Oh, dear shit, god, yes, oh, dear me…..

Hmm, some truth with this part here…. well I will be… natural brat..sub… dom… crap!!!

I think I might be failing at this …. lol woops… love the main picture though very fitting,….NOT!!!


1.  Being a constant brat

Now, some Doms like their sub a little bratty every once in a while.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It can keep things interesting.  Where it becomes a problem is when a sub is routinely a brat, using the behaviour to lash out.  Instead of a way to be more playful, it becomes the main way to receive attention and to get what they need.  Needless to say, it can irritate and Dom and make him want to give up.

What the sub can do:

If you genuinely want more attention or feel that your needs aren’t getting met, speak up!  As long as it’s done respectfully there is nothing wrong we communicating what you want.  For example, I’ve acted out before after a hard day just to get in trouble.  I know this will get me that stress-relieving spanking I so desperately need.  I’ve learned though that it’s so much better to say,  “Daddy, I’ve had a hard day.  Can you please spank me?”  It makes him happy and so much more aware of my feelings.  And the next time he sees me stressed he knows exactly what I need.  If you’re not comfortable speaking up, you can also write your feelings in a journal that your Dom can read.

What the Dom can do:

When you catch your sub being bratty try to figure out if they’re just acting out for attention.  Instead of just immediately turning to discipline, ask your sub what’s really going on.  If you sense they’re upset to give them permission to talk.  Encourage them to maybe use an “I statement”, a phrase where they say, “I feel X when you do Y, and I’d rather you do Z.”  Also, having your sub kneel while you talk to them about their unacceptable bratty behaviour can put them back in their place.

2.  Safewording… a lot

Let me start off by saying that there is nothing wrong with using safewords.  They are a sacred part of BDSM and are there to make sure everything stays safe, sane, and consensual.  A sub should never feel guilty when she uses them legitimately.  The problem arises when it becomes a way to get out of something they just don’t want to do.  It can become the vanilla equivalent of saying they have a headache.  Besides sexual requests, they may use a safeword when a situation becomes too emotionally difficult and they just want a break.  The sub becomes the one in control when they safeword because they don’t WANT to do something, not that they CAN’T do something.

What the sub can do:

Before you safeword, ask yourself if you’re just trying to avoid doing something.  If you were to meet your Dom’s demands would it really incur physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other harm?  If not, safewording in that instance would be dishonest and could lead to a break in trust.  Remember that topping from the bottom in this way isn’t playing fair.

What the Dom can do:

If your sub safewords, remember that it means they are close to their limit of endurance, or they cannot tolerate any further demands.  Always respect their safeword even if you believe it isn’t genuine.  Your actions should cease completely with immediate effect.  Afterwards, if you do believe the safeword was used casually, tell your sub.  Remind them of the real purpose of BDSM safewords and that misusing them will break your trust.  This firm lecture will probably be enough to put them back in their place.


3.  Saying, “Well, actually I think…”

When a Dom makes a decision it should stand.  A sub from time to time can voice their opinion respectfully when necessary.  But routinely getting a Dom to change their mind will only hurt the relationship.  This can happen in many different areas.  The Dom may want to have sex in a certain position, but the sub suggests another one instead.  Or he says they’re going to eat at a particular restaurant, but she says she’d rather go to a different one. When this happens and the Dom gives in, it shifts the control in the relationship.

What the sub can do:

When your Dom makes a decision, don’t undermine it.  Even if it’s not what you were wanting that doesn’t matter.  Your role is to please your Dom.  If it’s something you really disagree with you can let them know respectfully.  Another option is to ask them afterwards if next time you can do your choice.  Remember:  you are in a BDSM relationship, and he is your Dominant.  Topping from the bottom will only erode that.

What the Dom can do:

When your sub says, “Well, actually I think…” listen to their suggestion, but then let them know that you are the Dom and you make the decisions.  When they do go along with what you want to make sure to give them praise.  It is OK to give your sub choices every once in a while, but do not make it a habit of yielding to them.

Remember that regularly topping from the bottom is bringing manipulation into a BDSM relationship.  Stay focused in your role as a Dom or a sub, and the power and control will remain healthy.

What is your experience of topping from the bottom? Share your thoughts in the comments.  🖤

Learn more ways to bring back control  »


Submissive girl collar sub woman

This is according to DOM SUB Living – SEE free PDF click below for your own journal.

I agree with most of this and yes, my aim is to understand this entire whole lifestyle I find it extremely disciplined and totally off the charts hot!

Why? Well, reading my blog you will understand why I do this and with whom I do this I guess I really cannot put everything together as such but, I am trying my hardest to understand it and it is something I know that tickles my box so to speak…

Candixx (nothing is hotter than a man being a man and a female loving being just that a female)


Serving a Dominant is a very fulfilling lifestyle.  However, many submissive beginners are lost.  They don’t know what the role entails.  Many times they are just looking for someone to fix them, to make them feel more complete.  In all honesty though, being a sub is a lot of work, mentally, emotionally, and sexually.  How can they successfully meet the challenge?  Let’s consider what it truly means to be a good sub.

What a submissive isn’t

First and foremost, a sub is not a doormat.  They have feelings and needs and so they shouldn’t serve apathetically or reluctantly.  A real Dom wouldn’t want a doormat anyway.  They want someone who truly desires to be owned.  Being a sub also isn’t consenting to be abused.  Unlike BDSM, abuse has no limits or safe words.  If you are a sub, be very careful not to give your submission to just anyone.  True submission has to be earned first.  There are many bad Doms out there, and even predators pretending to be Doms.


If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

What is a sub?

The definition of a submissive is an obedient, compliant person who likes to give up control.  They crave being used and need to serve.  They are the subservient partner of a relationship and that is why “sub” is always spelt with a lowercase while “Dom” is always capital.  A submissive can take on many different roles such as:

They strive to please their Dom in all things, not just sexually.  This means that they may have to give up some of their own personal freedoms and preferences.  It is not uncommon for a sub to have a mild and quiet personality. They are obedient and accept discipline when needed.  Subs aim to conduct themselves in a respectful and modest manner at all times, recognizing that their behaviour is a direct reflection on their Dom.

Challenges to being submissive

Subs are not perfect; they will mess up from time to time.  There’s also the fact that in a 24/7 relationship there are stressors like full-time jobs and children.  It can be hard to work on behaviour modification and serving someone else when you are tired and pressed for time.  Also, a test to many is being obedient even when not in the presence of their Dom.  One challenge I have had to overcome as a submissive is topping from the bottom.  In the beginning, I would rebel a little, or try to subtly undermine my Dom’s decisions.  I’ve learned that instead, the best and simplest response I can give is, “Yes, Daddy.”  In the end, it makes both of our lives so much easier.best-sex-songs-of-all-time-kiiroo_2048x

How to be more submissive

A sub should always remember that they should be making their Dom’s life easier, not harder.  Proactively thinking what the Dom needs in any given moment, and fulfilling it will bring him great pleasure.  One of the greatest ways a sub can do this is sexual of course, and so submitting to any requested act within one’s contract is a must.  They should also try to obey rules to the best of their ability, but if discipline is necessary they should take it willingly.  Wearing a collar, even a discreet one in public, can help keep a sub in the slave mindset.  They are property owned by someone else, and as such, they are a representation of their Dom.  This will cause a sub to take great pride in the health and presentation of their bodies.  Ways they can do this are:

  • Getting sufficient sleep
  • Exercising regularly
  • Eating a healthy diet
  • Dressing properly
  • Having good hygiene and grooming

True submission is not just a role, it is a way of life.  Being a submissive means they are held to a higher standard, but it is all worth it.  They will receive the ultimate gift of a Dom’s complete approval.  ♥

Dom Sub Living Long-Distance Relationship Worksheet

Instructions: Each partner should print out the worksheet and fill it out privately.

Once they have completed it, they should compare and discuss their answers together

This is from Dom SUB Living..

Click to work sheet

  1. What are some of the positives of your long-distance relationship?
  2. What are some of the challenges of your long-distance relationship?
  3. Describe your commitment to the relationship as a Dominant/submissive.
  4. How often do you agree to check-in and communicate? What is your schedule?
  • Instructions: Each partner should print out the worksheet and fill it out privately
  • Once they have completed it, they should compare and discuss their answers together.
  1. When do you plan to see you, partner, next? How often will you meet in person?
  2. What protocols, tasks, punishments, and rewards can you implement?
  3. How do you plan to end the distance at some point? Do you have a date?
  4. What do you envision your Dom/sub relationship becoming? What is your goal?

Get Naked. More Often.

My husband introduced Naked sleeping to me I was against it.. thinking No, I will wear tiny little scanty teddies, that only covered my crutch… He loved them… however, I wanted to see what it was like… so, I took the plunge and went naked… haven’t looked back since…




Sleeping Nude Is give it a go……..at least for your Lady Parts

Let’s face it, ladies, our vagina’s have a similar climate to a tropical rainforest and consequently are a great environment for yeast infections such as thrush. Bacteria and yeast thrive in warm, moist areas of the body…which is all the more reason to take off your underwear and give your vulva an airing overnight. After all, a healthy vagina is a happy vagina.

You’ll Enjoy More Sex

It makes sense that sleeping naked with your partner will create a ready-made environment for more sex. Sleeping naked creates skin-to-skin contact, which leads to increased intimacy and a greater inclination to cuddle and touch each other. More sex leads to more orgasms, which consequently leads to a healthier, happier you. Get to it and enjoy a naked cuddle tonight.

Your skin will love you

Letting your skin breathe is essential for a healthy, glowing appearance. Our skin is the biggest organ in our body and needs some tender loving care. Forget the expensive ‘anti-ageing’ body cremes and oils, jump into bed naked and allow your skin to breath and heal without being restricted by clothing fabrics.

Sleeping In Summer 

Sleeping in summer can often be uncomfortable and sticky. Waking up in the night feeling hot and bothered can lead to insomnia and frustration. Taking off your clothes at bedtime will prevent your body from overheating, which will, therefore, lead to a better night’s sleep.

Why having a platonic friendship is awesome when you’re in a relationship

I once had a boyfriend who told me that he ditched all his female friends when we became official because it was ‘the right thing to do’. I didn’t prompt him to do it, and then he expected me to do the same. Which I thought was odd, because as a girl, it feels normal and natural to have friends of the opposite sex without ever having the urge to sleep with them.

Platonic friendships are healthy for relationships. It’s weird for girls to only have girlfriends and guys to only have guy friends! Here’s why having friends of the opposite sex is awesome when you’re in a relationship.

You know he will never make a move on you. It’s nice when a guy doesn’t look at you as a potential date/piece of meat. Your mate isn’t perving at your ass or trying one-liners on you; he treats you like one of the boys or his little sister. Perfect!

He can help decode your man. Us girls don’t always read our men right. Enter the male friend! We can take our texts and situations to him and get a straight answer instead of overthinking what our partner said during a lovers quarrel.

There’s never any drama. Guys steer clear of drama like the plague. They have no interest in getting involved in other people’s business, so when you hang out, it’s all about lighthearted fun.

They don’t hold grudges. When girls fight with girls, grudges can sometimes be taken all the way to the grave. But guys are much simpler; they’re annoyed for a while and then they get over it. It’s like fighting with your brother – screaming and yelling for 10 minutes, then you’re pals again.

Boys are funny. They’re crass, rude, and stupid. Don’t get me wrong, wine time with the girls is super fun, but guys are just laugh-out-loud, roll-around-in-stitches funny.

Things Men Feel Insecure About in Bed, and Why They Shouldn’t


Any man worth his salt puts a fair amount of pressure on himself when it comes to being adequate, if not adept, lover.

And oftentimes, pressure brings insecurity with it. But in a healthy relationship, these insecurities can be addressed and coped with until they’re avoided altogether, and you and your partner are having amazing, mindful sex.

Having the appropriate longevity

One of man’s greatest fears in the bedroom (aside from being unable to produce an erection) is having an orgasm way too quickly to have pleased our partner. And the more we worry about this, the more likely it is to happen. But through exercises and getting to know how both of your perform and what really gets you going, you can learn to pace the sexual process and avoid the man getting too excited too quickly. And, of course, the guy can always spend more time pleasuring you orally or otherwise before you have sex, or after.

Meeting perceived expectations

Without enough experience with a person, and without having gotten into the groove of communicating well, it can be difficult to intuit what a woman is optimistically anticipating out of a session between the sheets. We tend to worry about whether we’re going to get you off (at least once), and if we’re giving an all-around performance that satisfies and (hopefully) impresses you. A little bit of encouragement during and after sex will help him gain more confidence and worry less.

Asking for what we want—and what you want

Sometimes, especially at the beginning of a sexual relationship, guys are self-conscious and insecure about asking for what we want, and asking you what you want, but it’s important for both of you to keep in mind the thought that the more you communicate and the more up-front you are with each other about your sexual preferences and desires, the better the sex is going to be for both of you. And we should never feel strange about having a discussion around these things. So the sooner the two of you get to talking, the better, happier and more satisfied you’ll both be.

How we look

Penises look kind of funny. We have hair in strange places. And pretty much all places. Body image insecurity is, of course, something that transcends gender, but we do feel it. We can help ourselves out by reminding ourselves that a woman has decided she wants to be naked with us, so she probably doesn’t find us unattractive, and any compliments during the act will go a long way for improving confidence.

That we’re not the best you’ve ever had

We always want to do our best and be the best, so occasionally there are thoughts in the back of our head about partners you’ve had in the past—and then we wonder if they’ve been a better and more fulfilling lover than us. But we shouldn’t think this way. Instead, we should be fully present at the moment and doing the best we can. And if we’re not the best you’ve had that time? Well, there’s always room for improvement.


When you find out your Unique Qualities are just not that Unique…

Your stress will go away when you stop resisting the problem – hmm, what if they don’t? What if they go…. after when all is done?

We as married couples or I should say myself often think ideas, unique clique’s end up everyone doing it before you are doing it!

God that shitted me … I am thinking gosh, how awesome having a unique “trio thought” and finding out that dating sites are all doing what I thought was unique and private.. and still haven’t seen it or at least experienced it …. at least the thought was horny and hot… and it still is.. yet… to see it visually if we where to do it ever… 

I like the idea… of the thought .. and I like the idea of wanting to experience it.. so with a great outcome… no reactions of negitive only positively devine….. I wonder if that is possible?

You’re probably wondering what on Earth is she talking about, I am talking about having sexual ideas, feelings, earth gravitating moments, the earth thunders under you and “bang”, you find out other’s are street’s ahead of you and you begin to think now what!!

I wonder, if I just never went on these sites what then… perhaps all my talks and wondering, earth-shattering moments didn’t have to have talks.. however, this isn’t true we all must talk if we didn’t we would find out that those that we love and care about would end up being just a statistic.. or perhaps the talks found out more about me that I really knew or I had forgotten..cropped-download-11.jpg

I believe in many beautiful, flavoursome things most of all I believe in Romantic moments and Earth Shattering sexual intense connections that even to this day I am in awe… so thank you mother earth for making me who I am…

I may be quirky, silly, crazy, mad, insane, intense, humorous, but, what I really am is I do care about those that I adore… know that you’re important to me those that I love…

Most would never go that far with anyone…. and for that, I thank you.. xxx


Oh, thank you, Dom-Sub Living, for sending me this which I will share to the rest of the girls who follow me…


  • Know that being a sub is a lot of work, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. Make sure you are up for the challenge.
  • Don’t serve apathetically or reluctantly. Show that you truly desire to be owned.
  • Strive to please your Dom in all things, not just sexually. This means that you may have to give up some of your own personal freedoms and preferences.
  • Aim to conduct yourself in a respectful and modest manner at all times, recognizing that your behaviour is a direct reflection on your Dom.
  • Don’t “top from the bottom”, or try to undermine your Dom’s decisions to get your own way.
  • The best and simplest response is usually, “Yes, Sir (or Master, Daddy, etc.).”
  • Always remember that you should be making your Dom’s life easier, not harder.
  • Proactively think about what your Dom needs in any given moment, and try your best to fulfil it.
  • Obey rules to the best of your ability, but if discipline is necessary you should take it willingly.
  • Take great pride in the health and presentation of your body, since you are a representation of your Dom.
  • A good sub craves being used, serving, and giving up control.

3 in the Bed & the little one said!

Researching Couples on Dating sites

I have been reading a lot about our dating sites, what couples do together, why couples seem to be sitting on dating sites which is a very interesting read indeed!

Now, let’s begin with a few areas that I would like to share with you.. Dating sites with Married couples who are looking for that added extra charge in their bedroom, garage, kitchen, lounge room and bathroom windows seem to be the “new thing to do”!

So, what have I been reading… okay, well, listen to this hot spiced and a little bit naughty, however, I will let you tell me after I tell you this little hot bit of sexy hotties…flare-light-water-bubble-droplet

This story is about a married couple, in their late 40’s both rather good-looking, natural beauties, both social, both rather open, the wife well she is very open-minded, say it how it is, open to him exploring his kinks and has a very vivid and curious mind..

He is very charming, tall, socially wicked, has a very broad mind on sex and loves his wives openness and is very keen to understand her curious nature more..

Both have a distinct kink, both are searching for that “special person male”, to share their experiences with, now this sounds too hot, and well thought through, however, let me tell you a little about her naughty husband who seems to have a few extra ideas and likes to tease his wife by playing a little “hide-and-seek”.41647146_10217585336484725_280423873659273216_n.jpg

His kink is he is a Dom and her kink is she is a submissive, who strangely is after a male who both are hoping will be able to “whip both into shape”. Hamm, something a little odd in this window of naughty curious and a little bit slap-happy, to find such a “Unicorn male/alpha or perhaps bisexual or maybe someone who loves to tease, message, spank her ass, and lick her wet dripping clit with this tongue!

I would say that is pretty hot don’t you think?

Here is my short sex story of a couple that I have spoken too… however, the rest is mine so enjoy my erotic 3some story of what is going on in your City…Around the World…


Here is a little bit of a very long and usually difficult past built on trust, love and understanding these 3 are very uniquely wired and you can tell by the body language and many other attributes of why this could work in some peoples lives…

Imagine finding such a masculine hot gritty male, who appears very alpha that plays well with the husband while servicing her aching, trembling body as she aches, with loud intense moans, loudly panting with each breath.


She can feel his heat on her skin and understanding that this isn’t her husband but, someone she has yet to meet or already know, this excites her making her pant heavily, and yearning for both her husbands dirty hot-panted sex talk into her ear, saying you can feel his tongue licking your clit, and he then repeats it with a harsher tone so understands his dirty kinky fuckery his tone makes her pant and hold her breath to listen to the hot, filthy roughness of his dirty fckd mind.

placeholder-titleHis chosen male is exactly his choice as his filthiness is of a like-minded choice this chosen alpha is closed to his identity and prefers to watch rather than his touching fucking, his kink is more of the voyeur and although his devious talented tongue makes the submissive wife pant loudly the ropes and the submissive nature added to this delightful trio of dirty hot Primal men who love fucking wives that are more of the dirty-minded nature to satisfy their primal urges using her body as a submissive slut slave.

This was my interpretation to dating sites on the internet and married couples looking for hot men to add a bit of spice to their dull lives…3B73E66500000578-4042538-Candy_party_The_star_was_a_perfect_storm_of_juxtaposition_as_she-a-96_1481929761074

I think I would not have any problem in saying pick me… and make it exactly those two naughty men husband and the alpha spunk dude that has the same dirty minded kinky fuckery as the couple, what about you???

What do you think? HOT or NOT?

Because if you like this story…. there is more… you will discover an amazing and sensual awakening to an Erotic  experience built on years of understanding and many sides to what can occur with people that understand each other, know exactly what respect is built from, a love of knowing how difficult life can be and many more flavours you will discover a past filled with happy, easy going loving individuals and much more names are hidden and those people are the most loving individuals that I have ever met… so stay tuned to many more beautiful and sexual moments that I will with time tell you how and when … and most of all why…

To be continued…… Rebellious Submissive with many blessings to you all xx

Let me know by commenting if you like this story and why?


Xenical… a reminder to ask before diving in…

Xenical (orlistat) is a gastrointestinal lipase inhibitor used to help with weight loss by preventing the digestion and absorption of fat in food by inhibiting the enzyme lipase in the intestine. Common side effects of Xenical include:

Tell your doctor if you experience serious side effects of Xenical including blood in your urine, urinating less than usual or not at all, drowsiness, confusion, mood changes, increased thirst, swelling, weight gain, feeling short of breath, severe pain in your upper stomach spreading to your back or fast heart rate.


In this case, Pineapple would have no effect.. on the above medicine when licking I would ask before doing…

Xenical is taken as oral capsules. Xenical may reduce the absorption and blood levels of cyclosporine when both drugs are administered together. Xenical may also cause vitamin K levels to decline, and patients taking warfarin (Coumadin) must have their blood clotting monitored closely. The safety of Xenical in pregnancy and nursing mothers has not been determined.

Our Xenical Side Effects Drug Center provides a comprehensive view of available drug information on the potential side effects when taking this medication.

Give her what she DESIRES…

You know exactly both of you do…She, you, him, them… all wrapped up into a pyramid…of intoxicating desire… Do it you know you want too…img_3703

What we think we can do and what we can do is all the same in my book!

However, to be a submissive whether that is a slut, slave, me being a rebellious one, we are all the same… damaged why?

Because no-one really gave a shit in the first place so we looked after ourselves when no-one was around to help uspity isn’t what we desire we desire the harsh slap on our ass with a dominants hand, we want you to feel the sting as you do it, harder, louder, harsher with each welting moment…

Firstly, we thirst for this through putting ourselves in harms way, testing our own beliefs and seeing if we are collateral damage, then we know exactly why we do it, when we do it and how we do it… this may sound stupid, foolish, dangerous to some, but, to us it is what makes us wet soaking in our own stench and knowing exactly what we draw to ourselves by being obedient to those that deserve our love.

With no pain their is no gain to us that is how we created ourselved and we do enjoy it don’t you ever think we don’t – like I said, it isnt for the faint hearted nor is it for those who do not understand what this lifestyle really is all about.

We do this because we want you also to feel what we feel harder the better, we want our minds at that moment not to be owned by us for a damn change we want you to take us in your harsh hands and make us devoured by the dominant with his love, with his demanding harsh command and with his grace we call him our Master or perhaps Dom.

I like to say YES instead of NO…

No, will only infuriate me wanting him more and more…. if you think that my devotion is something that I am not aware of …………think again… I am not a stupid woman I am very open, honest and I see more, feel more and know exactly what you’re doing before you even do it..

Beautiful Music for the SOUL

I believe in beautiful souls that like, do, react, talk, love, have that part of them that likes what they do without question, those of us who do it and say it is the best feeling and energy that one can ever expect within ourselves firstly.


We are only human and with that we make errors, we love like no tomorrow and those that have the courage to act on what they love and leave expectations at the door to me are brave souls.

I am a woman who has many flavours and I love that about me..

I will do what I want to do because it makes me who I am..

I never expect more from someone unless I know they have what it takes to be a better person

Never allow another to make you do something you don’t want too do…

Always respect yourself it is not your business what others think you are..

I am crazy, funny, beautiful within my own self and I want you to see your image the way I see you from my eyes..3-dirty-sex-quotes-for-him

Never, ever think you fail you learn by your mistakes and they never ever mistake they are learnings..

Remember to SMILE, Laugh and even Cry they are all your emotions and you own them

ALways understand that life is about learning being better at what you believe in and always leave your EGO at the door.

I always believe in your own power that is within your own body allow it to explode, pick those that you know that understand or at least are willing to see life with a better understanding..

And most of all… Live, Laugh and never allow another to take what is precious about you.. because you are worth it…AGWDM-managing-your-expectations-in-a-casual-relationship-e1443148339671-1

The Rebellious Submissive… xxx

“Twatts Up People”

Can Pineapple Really Change the Way Your Vagina Tastes?

Now before I start this I have just got to realise that some people need a right slap on the back of the head kind of slapping…Image result for pineapples

I mean to say that it seems okay for those that come creeping into a house to get some thinking that they are not seen (yeah, right!)

Then on top of that “Pineapple” is the cure for some Vagina tastes that are off… then for some reason a barmaid says would you like a pineapple dacarri like it came out of no-where anyway…It really doesn’t fall far from the tree… now does it…

Today I may as well, never mind removed what I would normally say to them both….

I hate myself sometimes…… anyhoo, here it is ladies… best to go to the Doctor… check it out …

Mine is normal however, it seems that Pineapple and Fruit is something I require myself from time to time…

I do love Xenical from time to time at the moment I am not on this wonder drug so proceed if your willing lol funny as hell……

oh, dear me..

Twatts up, ladies”

Keep your Stink out of your Pink…


I had a bit of a Blowout today…

thYou see I am trying my hardest to recover from my past Trauma of many, many events that I had seemed to overlooked or I had no idea just how harsh they really made me tear up without me even being aware of why.

Funny, isn’t it how something that hurt you, lamed you and hindered you over many years had such an invisible pull on this girl of 5ft’4 ratbag Italian/Irish chick of 50 years.

I was such a girl full of wild all eyes wide open so to speak, I still do by the way I have this appetite of nothing bothers me kinda spirit, however, it does, but, I only want to experience things with decent people who are similar to my like.

I will explain why…I have always been very social I adore people I mean no harm towards anyone really I don’t I am a big softy but, I will defend my dear loved ones even if I have to throw myself under a bus to protect them.  I guess the reason is they my husband a  few very (poor things) gorgeous human beings that I love and I have seen bend over backwards to help, another person and that my friends is enough for me to say hep, however, there is so many other reasons why…

It stems back to having a brother who I still adore and cherish, he does have a disability but, he will go up to the biggest bully and at least try to friend him… I love that about him, annoying but, I do say to myself, fair enough I will raise my eyebrows and go woah.. gutsy…39352800_287197282071199_6664480631281418240_n

However, as my life grew away from our local area his sister (me) could have done with a bit of a bully boy to help me through my path of life as a Single mother as you girls will know that is a tough gig and there are arse holes out there willing and waiting for something like us to mosey on by… right?

Anyway, enough of that I survived with many bruises and I had thought I dealt with many which I had.. so pat, pat for me..but, as my curiosity and my wild spirit of wanting to experience things with my husband well, it has been taxing on both of us if not others.. very sorry but, I had no idea..

I knew I had a very deep low feeling that sometimes I would sit and all of a sudden tears would pour out of my eyes and I was suddenly feeling sad, upset and heavy like someone had sat on my head… Another trigger was this “tunnel vision” I could not for the life of me as time went by the turnaround or go around my own home just in case…. I guess..

However, I found out it was a little different really it was more about a very clever and respectful subconscious that decided to peer its little sassy head into my head (me) and say you’re not ready and neither is your husband…1521830997_life-quotes-inspiration-30-inspirational-quotes-for-the-women-who-are-strong-at-heart-trend-to-wear

Shhh, well, he may not agree with him being put in that sentence but, Now I am angry at him because he’s annoying and a pest because he knows how easy it is… but, the smart alec won’t help ….. asshole…love him but, still grrrrr…

Anyway, I have been a tad overbearing with my dogs… sorry Bella and Chino, oh yes and my husband… and other… lol… woops… well, until he says anything I am stuck so take it out on him….No means No… and I get that…   (oh, yes that was Trauma that is seeping into my membrane) it will be out soon.. I guarantee.. even if I have to implant my Minions myself…. into my nose …. that is stupid.. but, that is what PTSD is people…

Bloody hell, indeed, however, I get his point more than he knows and to be perfectly honest putting my thoughts, feelings (new neurons are forming) damn it… I am now dealing with being a smuck… of a feeling mother of god…

So, at the moment I will do my best to deal… and I guess feel … joking ..sort of and I will explain to my husband and those that are close to us … well, actually that isn’t many anymore… which is a problem our circle is slightly off centre…

I am trying to be the best person I can be walking forward and that is okay…. I am extremely happy however, I am also trying to rid a cancerous malignant enemy that hurt me so I will update you all about that another time..

It is amazing that being hurt, fearing something that was so long ago shouldn’t make you disabled.. but, unfortunately, lovely people it will if you don’t deal with you…

Many blessings… Franny xx



Managing Expectations in a Casual Relationship

Go Figure… me? Well, I don’t seem to ever put expectations on most evenings however is that wise? I would say No!

For me after I marry I am not well available.. however, as we age and live together longer who bloody knows.. But, and alwaYS a But, the only way I would dabble in the naughty is with him……. not without….. so that is my difference.. That is just me.. for those that are more open continue reading..

For some people, a casual relationship is nothing more than a one-night stand. For others, it can mean having a long-term sex partner without co-mingling living situations, families and finances. Either one of those options and the variations in between can be had and can be wonderful. It all starts with managing your expectations.

State Up Front What You Want
Be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. If those things aren’t okay with the person you’re chatting up, don’t try to talk them into something they don’t want to do or say anything – especially if they’re outright false promises or lies – just to get them into bed. That’s something desperate losers do.

Don’t Expect People to Change
There are a lot of people, especially women, that believe that if the sex is great, that the other person will keep coming back for more or want to develop something more than just a casual relationship. Luring someone in by entrapment never works out or ends well. It’s also dishonest.

Don’t Make Too Many Compromises
Be completely comfortable and accepting with what the other person wants and has to offer in a casual relationship. If you give up too much, you’re going to regret being in the situation you got yourself into. You are entitled to have your casual relationship be a good and happy thing, sexually and otherwise.

When Emotions Get Lopsided
As much as people can tell themselves that a casual relationship is “just sex”, sex is loaded with emotions. After all, sex feels great. Right? A lot of those “feel good” emotions can lead to attachment. That’s why open communication is so important. Talk about your casual relationship as it evolves. If feelings for and expectations of each other aren’t mutual, it’s easier to deal with the situation sooner than later.

Be Friends
Like the person, you’re hooking up with. Be decent, kind, thoughtful and respectful. If you can’t do or be those things, don’t expect a hot sexual vibe in return. If you feel like that’s a chore or obligation, the other person will sense that and think you’re an asshole, and no one wants to have sex with an asshole. And if you don’t like the person you’re hooking up with or if you’re not having fun like friends of any other type do, your sex is not going to be fun.


If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

A Word About Respect
I recently came upon a blog discussion thread where a bunch of men were complaining about the way women disrespect them. Everyone is entitled to respect but it’s earned both ways. If you don’t treat people well, hold up your responsibilities, or keep your word, the other person has every right to be pissed off with you. Being in a casual relationship doesn’t mean that you can be casual about manners and courtesy.

Finding a Casual Sex Partner isn’t Necessarily Immediate or Easy
Even if there are hundreds or thousands of potential casual sex partners on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean that you should expect sex on demand or instant gratification. It might take weeks or months to find or cultivate an eventual hookup. Remember that you’re dealing with available people and not just available bodies. Just because someone is available for a casual relationship doesn’t mean that they owe you sex.cropped-images-62.jpg

To do something that you have never done before…

Imagine your on a journey however, remove all the labels, marriage, comfortably.. what have you got?

This all depends on how many is on this journey….? right..

This also depends on the ability to remove your own self and be able to naturally normal however, who wants to be normal or should I say “I am certainly not normal”.

I am a natural pain in the A$$

You see this is how I look at life.. you’re doing something that you think you are in control…but, really how are you in control ?

How long does this last for?

Are you invested?

Or are you that kind of person that only puts in what they think that they can handle?

How do you measure that emotion?

Cracks to me are… many things.. cocky behaviour, brothers in arms hand in  hand (suddenly I have this image of two men in tights skipping down the yellow brick pavement of loopy ness) snap out of it…… or is it a solo one way ticket to Mars…. because frankly, mine has been likes this from the very beginning … which you could say was a while ago…

When a person is so relaxed doesn’t think about their needs they could be disconnected and very busy so they don’t think……

Or they get run down and sick which isn’t the result however, could be..

Just an interesting thought… how much would you gauge in a journey with yourself, others?

What is your thoughts of how you would manage your journey..?

So, how much does a person invest into a possible risk…. I am using this word….. for many reasons….

My answer to this is EVERYTHING….. I go in from the very beginning str8 into the deep end…. and the funny thing is .. I seem to be still keeping my head just above the water…..figure of speech…… keeping that I am a women…

What if you are a man .. ?

Zombie time warp…. have a watch…. seems fitting..

IF you can paint me a picture of this journey, then what good are you? or Perhaps, it is as simple or as they say difficult as you want it to be, right?

A pattern of understanding…

Ever feel that even though my strength within myself is getting stronger, just not my belief however?  Perhaps, I am over thinking or not really or perhaps I expect a negitive and I am trying to apply one, I really don’t know…

If all was correct what does that look like?

Is that right?

I ask these questions because I cannot answer them it requires another mind ..  I said, to my husband yesterday, I could always make this easier.. but, perhaps because of how many layers there are it isnt ever going to be earier… let’s face it people you care about deeply you can never say anything that involves emotions is ever easy right?

Or am I over processing…? I am a women and yes, I do over process that isnt a negitive it is just me…

After I had this realisation late yesterday I was a little staggered, overwelmed with a moment of pease and it felt so bloody good I just wanted to go to sleep and enjoy it and for that little moment I wanted to fade away into a peaceful abis and I was a little annoyed because I felt very suffocated and I felt bad for feeling such a feeling..

I wanted to say just leave me alone for a moment… stop suffocating my understanding and allow me to feel something really amazing… it was so sereal and overwelming, many layers of positive It felt like a had a natural high and it felt holted because I dunno..

I felt a little let down within myself like I have this silly idea that everyone will be okay and I think that I must be in a stupid fairy tale that seems very deja vu at times..

I guess there is a part of me still a little unsure and that is okay, I guess I feel a little selfish and a little stupid because I know that it wont be okay.. and my life was for someone elses needs not mine…

It isnt anyones fault it is a pattern that I am hoping isnt true.. however could be very true.. that is okay, but, I would rather know.. and at least feel free to make decsions based on being civil rather than what all go to which is anger and hurt…

I might be incorrect but, behaviours are strong within the forse of our environment, or it could just be that we are both sick with the flu…11breathingin11

However, it is nice to be real without the bullshit… 🙂

Calmness, is a beautiful thing.. and I believe I can say all the above without negitive anger, hosility and say, I will be okay going forward if whatever comes my way…

Thank god….. ANd….. I know the above sounds confusing… that is because of how I feel atm…. real emotions can make you feel a little scrambled at times.

I think that I could be a little dilerious due to lack of sleep, mental problems and most of all I believe that I create brick throwing moments of trying to sabotage anything that could and will be perfectly fine…

So, this is my new outlook… in life.. I will try to do my best to stop this crazy belief that I will be led astray…lol which is exactly what I had hoped…AMEN

This is now the time to be present and begin this Journey today..

Lets talk about being Present within yourself and within those that you share you lives with socially and explisitly, without judgement, bullshit, just enjoy and have so bloody fun..


They blame you instead and think it is funny….

We do deserve to be ourselves… we are not caged animals..are we??

Your journey, my journey, the popes journey we all have them and those that understand what that means in fact understand we all have limitations in our lives, however, this isnt about limitations…. I am talking about no LIMITATIONS.. going forward….

In fact let’s be real for a moment

We get to a point in our lives that we go on our personal journeys some include people that are the same mind set.. you would hope… some prefer to go naked and find new ones… some love that same simular smart mouthed larikin… I am one of those.. so is my hubby however, we also love to socialise with new exciting people who love life..

So, let’s shift and start doing because we should now be ready to walk side by side and enjoy life, right?life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc

I am ready, I know my hubby is… are you?

I had the best weekend and the efforts of my own self was firstly the most powerful, gob smacking, speechless, and devine moment I have had thus far…

In fact, I wanted to just stop and breath in this amazing awareness that I experienced I felt safe, I had no noise, I thought for one moment that my age was back as a young women where I seemed to really let go of things easier… or at least quicker..

However, this feeling was much better… Let me tell you

So, what is it going to take to be present and take that leap of faith?deep-connection-friendships

So, for me, my gorgeous, husband and hopefully anyone else that wishes to put up with our bad inappropriate behaviour, opinionated beliefs, excellent humour, and frankly we are pretty friggin annoying… couple but, yes any other that wishes to jump on board our pink jumbo elephant then by all means.. do so…

So from today which indeed I believe that we are all ready.. to have so bloody fun or at least get dressed up go out into this perth city and find a bar, view, beach, bottle of wine and have some really good fun.

Laughing, is the best start to any journey with those that you care enough about, get along with and have no limitations to expressing whatever you wish to say, feel, joke about with life can and will always be as hard and difficult as you wish… nothing is garenteed and that is what our entire life has been based on…

Below is all those emotions that we tend to have within us… have a look.. and embrace, and trust yourself… nothing to be lost… everything to be loved..

………………so what are you waiting for?? I am so excited to walk with a better skip rather than hesitation anymore.. done and dusted… let’s go and have some bloody fun… okay ?

BTW… nice choice of music xxx

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