Tag Archive for ‘ADVICE’

The Top 10 Questions on Sex and Psychology

For today’s post, I have put together an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. As you’ll see, these questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite a range of topics.

However, most of them are united by the same theme:

  • “What’s normal when it comes to sex?
  • What you’ll see when you read the answers is that “normal” does not mean just one thing!

10. How often do married couples have sex?

9. Do women become “loose” if they have a lot of sex?

  •  (Some women’s vaginas may become “looser” over time, but not as a function of how much sex they’re having.)

8. What percentage of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone?

  •  (Based on the research I’ve seen, about half of the women surveyed report this.)

7.  Is deeper penetration better?

  • (For most women, not necessarily—but for some it is. In fact, some women can reach orgasm from stimulation of the cervix.) 

6. Does penis size actually affect female pleasure?

  •  (The answer to the deeper penetration question above addresses the issue of penile length. But what about girth/circumference? Research finds that women tend to rate girth as the most important penis dimension. For a more detailed look at the research on this subject, see here.)

5. Do women enjoy anal sex?

  • (Many do, and studies find that it is an increasingly common sexual activity practised by women today. Although it didn’t make the top 10 list this time around, many readers have also been curious about how to make anal sex more pleasurable.)

4. Injaculation: Is it dangerous for guys to prevent ejaculation during orgasm?

  • (Probably not. There isn’t a single scientific source to suggest that this practice causes problems. In fact, this is actually a common and very successful technique used among guys who are trying to learn better ejaculatory control in order to resolve premature ejaculation.)

3. Is “rimming” safe?

  • (Like any sexual activity, there are risks associated with this one–but there are also ways to make it safer.) Make sure you check if the girl or boy has taken Xenical then your in for a surprise…lol

2. Why are so many straight men into transsexual porn?

  • (This is a common sexual interest among men and, contrary to popular belief, most men who are attracted to male-to-female transsexuals are not gay.)

1. I want to watch my wife sleep with someone else. Is that normal?

  • (Believe it or not, this is also a very common sexual fantasy among men. For an even more detailed look at the research in this area, check out this article.)



Managing Expectations in a Casual Relationship

Go Figure… me? Well, I don’t seem to ever put expectations on most evenings however is that wise? I would say No!

For me after I marry I am not well available.. however, as we age and live together longer who bloody knows.. But, and alwaYS a But, the only way I would dabble in the naughty is with him……. not without….. so that is my difference.. That is just me.. for those that are more open continue reading..

For some people, a casual relationship is nothing more than a one-night stand. For others, it can mean having a long-term sex partner without co-mingling living situations, families and finances. Either one of those options and the variations in between can be had and can be wonderful. It all starts with managing your expectations.

State Up Front What You Want
Be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. If those things aren’t okay with the person you’re chatting up, don’t try to talk them into something they don’t want to do or say anything – especially if they’re outright false promises or lies – just to get them into bed. That’s something desperate losers do.

Don’t Expect People to Change
There are a lot of people, especially women, that believe that if the sex is great, that the other person will keep coming back for more or want to develop something more than just a casual relationship. Luring someone in by entrapment never works out or ends well. It’s also dishonest.

Don’t Make Too Many Compromises
Be completely comfortable and accepting with what the other person wants and has to offer in a casual relationship. If you give up too much, you’re going to regret being in the situation you got yourself into. You are entitled to have your casual relationship be a good and happy thing, sexually and otherwise.

When Emotions Get Lopsided
As much as people can tell themselves that a casual relationship is “just sex”, sex is loaded with emotions. After all, sex feels great. Right? A lot of those “feel good” emotions can lead to attachment. That’s why open communication is so important. Talk about your casual relationship as it evolves. If feelings for and expectations of each other aren’t mutual, it’s easier to deal with the situation sooner than later.

Be Friends
Like the person, you’re hooking up with. Be decent, kind, thoughtful and respectful. If you can’t do or be those things, don’t expect a hot sexual vibe in return. If you feel like that’s a chore or obligation, the other person will sense that and think you’re an asshole, and no one wants to have sex with an asshole. And if you don’t like the person you’re hooking up with or if you’re not having fun like friends of any other type do, your sex is not going to be fun.


If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

A Word About Respect
I recently came upon a blog discussion thread where a bunch of men were complaining about the way women disrespect them. Everyone is entitled to respect but it’s earned both ways. If you don’t treat people well, hold up your responsibilities, or keep your word, the other person has every right to be pissed off with you. Being in a casual relationship doesn’t mean that you can be casual about manners and courtesy.

Finding a Casual Sex Partner isn’t Necessarily Immediate or Easy
Even if there are hundreds or thousands of potential casual sex partners on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean that you should expect sex on demand or instant gratification. It might take weeks or months to find or cultivate an eventual hookup. Remember that you’re dealing with available people and not just available bodies. Just because someone is available for a casual relationship doesn’t mean that they owe you sex.cropped-images-62.jpg

To do something that you have never done before…

Imagine your on a journey however, remove all the labels, marriage, comfortably.. what have you got?

This all depends on how many is on this journey….? right..

This also depends on the ability to remove your own self and be able to naturally normal however, who wants to be normal or should I say “I am certainly not normal”.

I am a natural pain in the A$$

You see this is how I look at life.. you’re doing something that you think you are in control…but, really how are you in control ?

How long does this last for?

Are you invested?

Or are you that kind of person that only puts in what they think that they can handle?

How do you measure that emotion?

Cracks to me are… many things.. cocky behaviour, brothers in arms hand in  hand (suddenly I have this image of two men in tights skipping down the yellow brick pavement of loopy ness) snap out of it…… or is it a solo one way ticket to Mars…. because frankly, mine has been likes this from the very beginning … which you could say was a while ago…

When a person is so relaxed doesn’t think about their needs they could be disconnected and very busy so they don’t think……

Or they get run down and sick which isn’t the result however, could be..

Just an interesting thought… how much would you gauge in a journey with yourself, others?

What is your thoughts of how you would manage your journey..?

So, how much does a person invest into a possible risk…. I am using this word….. for many reasons….

My answer to this is EVERYTHING….. I go in from the very beginning str8 into the deep end…. and the funny thing is .. I seem to be still keeping my head just above the water…..figure of speech…… keeping that I am a women…

What if you are a man .. ?

Zombie time warp…. have a watch…. seems fitting..

IF you can paint me a picture of this journey, then what good are you? or Perhaps, it is as simple or as they say difficult as you want it to be, right?

What if you don’t even know… hmm?

The going consensus is that women in the lifestyle are either bi-curious or bisexual…

What if women don’t know if they are anything other than what they know?

Seriously, unless you are married to a person who questions I dunno, pretty much everthing that god has said not too… (shucks) If it was up to me remove the damn labels and find out for ourselves… this is also for men as well.. go figure how hard is life .. seriously people… moving on….images

Even though that may be very true for many, others still don’t wish for things to be labeled as there are only bi-sexual ladies in the lifestyle. After all, the lifestyle thankfully allows for variety in every single way imaginable!

Girls, Girls, Girls

A little research on this topic at travel events reveals that there are also those who can just appreciate a beautiful woman while still being very straight.

Then there are those who like to just kiss another woman without it going into a full-on sex session too. Of course, that could be somewhat of a stretch as at events, limits and boundaries are somewhat flexible.

Why is that?

Well, because apparently, and this comes from the mouth of the ladies themselves:

  • Women do kiss differently than men!
  • Really?
  • Yes, I am not that way atm… however, I have experienced women’s kisses… shock!! I have??? Nooooooo me who is straight god hell.. what is life going to do to me now???

If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!


Many ladies experimented in their younger years with their girlfriends. Word of mouth only goes so far after all!

They do???


LOL, jesus, seriously?

So, What Gives?

When asked, it was mentioned that there is a significant difference in experience when kissing a woman instead of a man.

Kissing a woman is described as:


  • just a bit lovelier, quite softer and deeper with a beautiful layer of delicacy. So now that we know that, do those kissing women then want to get “kissed” to change into a bisexual lady perhaps?

The answer, give or take a few: Oh no, not at all, of course the more the merrier, but it’s also awesome to be able to just kiss a beautiful woman without it having to go any further than that. No other expectations, period.

But do Women Prefer Women over Men?

The next logical question is: Do women prefer a woman’s kiss over the kiss of a man? And the answer again is no, it’s just considered different and more of a nice addition. Well, all in all, the men don’t seem to mind… On the contrary, a look, a flirt, a kiss, a touch and who knows where things will lead.

That very first kiss between women, what makes it so special? At SDC travel events you can witness this magic happen all the time. Threesomes and foursomes and moresomes are not an uncommon result either. Absolutely nothing is wrong with that, so by all means, if and when the urge hits you, kiss away ladies!

Each to their own I believe, baby steps, don’t beat yourselves up, and never, ever think life is as difficult as most would seem to think!

We are only human beings living in a world that seems to have everything bit like a candystore.. right so, please don’t make it harder than it should be by making it more difficult for each other.

Love and Trust, never say things like…. I don’t care if, or I am not bothered, or Never say to your wife… he or she is off limits because the question is why?

If you just relax a bit let them think … let them go .. if your not open to everything then stay home and watch a movie because if your not open.. then the door stays shut..

It is as simple or difficult as you make it.. if you start dictating to each other what you think it should be.. it does become quite difficult to understand each other and the next thing you both do is disconnect!9bcf8fe9f858a35a5bc9bbde2b4e3ddb

So, please pace yourselves…. relax….. and take your time…. be mindful of each others minds and hearts…. always allow one another to think for themselves and never tell each other that what they think and feel is wrong..

Let them work it out… for themselves 🙂

Candii xxx


Come on Board the Merry-go-round

Your Stress or your insecurity and your jealousy is nothing without your approval so how valuable is it to you to destroy those you adore so lovingly without judgement nor selfish need..



I know I would adore that emotional harsh and so easy emotional gift because it is free and willing to just take from the Universe by respecting it and valueing it deeply..



GIve yourself a break and embrace this life by openess… easy change it now.. 

That will make you grow, love, understand have amazing experiences without any negative thought, how about that bitch subconscious mind that keeps reminding us of what society has done a bloody grand job of helping us with trauma, cheating partners, betrayal of the family kind, a moment of explain over and over again./


I am not that person based on a simpletons group of individuals, that cannot manager as a single unit without bickering and bastard shame all because of a Rich boy who had no honour as a friend.images (40)

Disgraceful, dishonest and darn right shameful underlining back stabbing and narcissistic behaviour according to a Boy who could not find a place that may have possibly saved a mates skin..

You know slanderous lies are the most vicious, nasty, and hateful emotions men can use at other men, all because of fuck knows, seriously popularity?

You see how vicious us humans are we use, abuse those that understand emotional trauma or perhaps you have your own safety net cuz like-minded can be ridiculed and treated with disrespect because …. Once upon a time.. a very long time ago that person you want to offload had her life, or his life ripped out from under him and was made out to be a liar.. based on bullshit nothing.. based on what they think.. but, never based on fact… what a load of shit…


Their entire life they or you think they know no better or are used to be treated badly and that is why you can justify a nasty, narcissistic, abuse, and don’t forget you fellow brothers that bond so well just like sisterhood does, would throw you under the bus so quickly all because of popularity for a moment of a huge Ego that need to be brushed regularly and for what reason would you sell out a friend, partner, like-minded soul all because of your own Selfish needs and how long does that feeling last for?

Interesting, so let’s say when you do this and unbeknownst to you they are the lowest that they have ever been and you go out come home and your wife, child, husband or perhaps that fall guy that you shot in the head so nicely by not believing his spoken word satisfied you all for a moment?

Was it longer, how exciting? like perhaps 1/2 a day, wow, that will teach them… so let’s go further with satisfying your negative babble, a day passes and you get up notice no ones around and head off the garage and because your ego was more important that a human beings life, honor, back or even sisterhood, the decided to take their life by hanging themselves all because of your Mental negative thought process, fuelled by something that you still have to deal with in your own past...

Well, that is the worst, cruelest feeling all because of EGO or god only knows… that make you a a hero for what? 

Nothing funny about suicide (this is the worst case scenario) all because of cruelty, people who cared more about themselves made a male feel less than and could possibly lame his trust ability, his life and his living a life with no fears.. But, no without probably cause, nor proof they accused a male and could have triggered depression or even worse..

But, as long as that bond of brothers got their needs met somehow by being the hero’s for about 10 minutes, 1/2 a day or even better a whole week… Boys you are legends and take a pathetic bow of your pathetic team effort of nothing.

Bad, disgusting and potentially, the worst behaviour known to man – however, this is just my opinion.. and who am I to say all this well perhaps I noticed a too much and perhaps I understood the vacant ability of some that never seem to disappoint… trust me this is not a positive nor is it an honor to hold as men… moving on..

  • Is this what you want to live for????

  • TO be right?

  • To be intelligent?

  • To off load your past areas of your life all because you said, I have no issues??!!

If you had no issues why on EARTH WOULD YOU ATTACK THOSE THAT LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU, without question, without money, position, without anything but your love and kindness, trust, and shoulder so they can build up themselves to be there for you when it is your turn…how-to-propose-a-boy-quotes-elegant-52-fantastic-best-lines-to-propose-a-boy-the-proposal-of-how-to-propose-a-boy-quotes.jpg

Never use triggers that you learn from their trauma just because your life has bumps we all do we are not perfect…. if you wish to live.. be real, be accountable…

However, being mean and cruel to those that have always been treated like that…. that is like kicking a dog when you know it has been kicked and damaged all their life.

Do them a favour and get a gun and shoot them because that is exactly what they will do to their selves…. if people continue to circum to negative, cruel and intentional credit by using bully tactic behaviour I find that just a wasted life..images (43)


So here is an example of personalities…

Husband….. his natural nature is kind-hearted, loyal, intelligent, loving, trusting and forgiving, hard working…he does have a logical side to him but, this is a virgo… 

Above this is based on his natural ability… when someone is  accused , made to be the blame for parents who use children as a weapon against the other parent some of those beautiful qualities tarnish they still are the persons beliefs however, it is difficult to find them over time because they have learnt to protect themselves..helenkeller1.jpg

Wifes….. natural nature, kind, crazy, curious nature, loving, nurturing, a little bit nieve, loyal, forgiving, creative, and hard-working… her dream was to have many kids with a loving husband… end of story…. that was her actual requirement to have 4 beautiful kids.. she had 1 and her ex made sure of that fact this terrible horrid person would suffer all because of his ego was hindered because she wanted a divorce…..images (42).jpg

Stories we tell are based on making other feel less than what they are all because of selfishness and lack of understanding and most of all no-one gave them the tools to see a better picture so one day someone or something made them change because their life, their own determination was based on those cores personality and beliefs ..

For that I must ask you.. is it so worth it to lay your own past events that you just have not had the time, or your ego cannot bare the hurt, or you just cant be bothered ??

Which one are you….. old quote.. may the first person who has no sin pick up that rock and throw it at this whore…. all because you find her unworthy according to whom?

quote by Jesus Christ..

Funny Pick up Lines…

Love this very much so here are a few Pick UP lines… for you to use…However, I highly recommend YOU, watching this Video… it’s a scream……which means it’s funny…

Just Bloody well watch it…god damn it!!!

Your name must be Coca Cola, because you’re soda-licious.

You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

I have amnesia, do I come here often?

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.

I don’t need Twitter, I’m already following you.

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?corny-love-quote.jpg

Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?

Somebody call the cops. It’s got to be illegal to look that good.

I’ve had such an off week but seeing you just turns me on.

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

I’m going to kiss you now. Say “Kiss me” now if you want me to stop.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Your lips look lonely. Let me introduce them to mine.

The Funniest Pick Up Lines Ever - Is There A Mirror

Is there a mirror in your pants…? I think I can see myself in them..

Hi, I’m doing a survey …What’s your name? What’s your phone number? Are you free next Saturday?

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs do still exist, don’t they?

I’m going to give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, just return it.

I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?

My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any underwear! (I am.) It must be an hour fast.

1r10kp.jpgYou must be a keyboard, because you’re just my type.

You’re so hot, if you ate bread you’d poop out toast.

If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d rate you as a 9 because I’m the 1 you’re missing.

What do I have to do to get on your drunk dial list?

You make me wish I wasn’t gay.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot because I’d always miss you.

Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme?

Because Jean-Claude Van Damme, you’re sexy!

I'm New In Town - Chat Up Line

I’m new in town. Can I have the directions to your house please?

My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.

There’s something wrong with my mobile. It doesn’t have your number in it.

It’s a good job I brought my library card, because I’m checking you out.

I’m not drunk… I’m just intoxicated by you.

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Is your second name Jacobs, because you’re a cracker?images (35).jpg

Did you get your licenses suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

If you were a bogey, I would pick you first.

You’re hot, I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something… my jaw!

Are you wearing space pants?

Because that butt is out of this world.

Was your mother a beaver? Because DAAAAMN girl!

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

I bet you $10 you’re gonna turn me down.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van.

There’s a huge sale going on in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!

Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?

Remember me? No? Oh that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams.

Hey girl, you’re gonna have to stop eating magnets; you’re making me attracted to you.


But, wait there is more


Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?

You wanna know the best thing in my life?

It’s the first word of this sentence.


If you’re here, who’s running heaven?

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?

Are you an alien because you just abducted my heart?

Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.

Where do you hide your halo?

You’re pretty and I’m cute.

Together we’d be pretty cute.

You look familiar – did we have class together?

I could have sworn we had chemistry.

You’re like a dictionary.

You add meaning to my life.

If you hold 8 roses in front of a mirror, you’ll see 9 of the most beautiful things in the world.

If I had a star for every time you brightened my life, I’d be holding a galaxy.

Do you have a Bandaid?

Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Is your body from McDonald’s?

Because I’m lovin’ it.Epic-Rumi-Quotes-spiritual-poems.jpg

If I were a stop light, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I’m all lost at sea.

There’s 21 letters in the alphabet right?

Oh wait, I forgot U R A Q T.

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

I’ll give you a kiss.

If you don’t like it, you can return it.

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