Tag Archive for ‘HAPPY’

Time for a little Change…


Hello lovelies,

BLOGGERS WHY DON’T YOU TALK ON HERE?

As you are aware I chat on here about reflection, experiences of others and a little of myself and my past as we all do.

So, I wanted to do something different moving forward now this will be based on my Studies in the next few years for Counselling which is still pending for completion in August and of course sexologist next year.915e1ee238ac17f4e8cb103699b30392

Now, what is it that I would love you to share with me?

Well, this is completely up to you I know for some it seems difficult to open up and talk in normal circumstances however, this is a blog and blogs are used for chatting about themselves or perhaps experiences or even the main topic that the writer provides you with.

So, what topics interest you in being part of?

  • Lets look at what you would like to see more on a blog or at least what topic would interest you and make you chat about?
  • Do you like talking about issues or thoughts about sex?
  • Have you got a question that is in the back of your mind and you would like me to do some research on it for you?
  • Do you have anything that you would like to discuss with others that your stuck with?
  • Is there anything in your life that you would like me to help solve for you?
  • If you are an expert in a field what is it that you do?

Why am I asking the above?

Well, because I do have a huge heart, and I believe in sharing my thoughts this is why I share so much and hide so much so I don’t feel alone myself.  And at times more than I would like I do feel very isolated and very much alone and if you knew me, that is like caging a wild alley cat that wouldn’t be kind at all 🙂

39352800_287197282071199_6664480631281418240_n.jpgThe questions are just random however, I would love to see if we can get others that have perhaps questions, ideas, expert in fields that can help others?  I find it very important to talk about subjects of either the heart, soul, how to help one another in need or even just say your bit because that is what our mouths are for. to share ideas and help one another for all of us to grow.

Life is what you make of it.. if you don’t say your bit how are those that cannot open their mouths going to know that they are not alone in this world!giphy

We need people who help one another we do not need ostriches that put their head in the sand and say nothing…

How would that help anyone? lets face it, right!

So, if you can please add something or at least answer a few of those questions above and lets see if we can at least help 1 person.images (50)

Love and hugs Franny x

So, can you help me, help you?

 

Are we “all” Chained to the Rhythm?


Love this Sci-fi Musical video, so true, we seem to walk the path of everyone else or are we?

Should we walk the same pace as everyone else or should we stop and smell those thorns and say… are we chained to the rhythm like everyone or are we uniquely wired as individuals on this Earth?

Well, I would like to think we are “all unique”, that we don’t have to walk the same path as everyone else and I would like to see more people say more positive things about themselves…

We tend get a little lazy I know I do… don’t you?

I would like to see people – say I am different because I do this … or I like to paint sunshines because I do it in mauve, rather than bright yellow, organges, or even dull blues…

I would love to see someone say on blogs.. I love myself because I am unique than anyone else on this planet because I am…….

Wouldnt you prefer to be “broken from your chains”, and paint a world unique?

 

 

Guess, what, I am not normal, I am not perfect, nor am I like anyone else, I am crazy, funny, uniquely wired, I have amazing thoughts of fun, zany ideas of love and connection, I enjoy pushing the buttons of the normal and I enjoy it when people are shocked..

Deal withi it lovlies I am different and i AM happy as shit in the mud..

Songs for Friday…. Enjoy…


Songs For Friday… Enjoy

I will add more to the list below.. so Enjoy your Friday click onto the link above until I fill this one for you all to enjoy and Rock on Ladies and Gents…. have a great weekend…

We all Need ……….A… MAJESTIC……………Let’s face it…

Cool

 

Below is a bit Trippy…. not bad though..

Blast from the past

 

Different….. leave this one for last…. not bad lyrics..

ALways a bit of Calvin…… it’s Friday

Happy one… YAY

 

Wow… Brits and Calvin……. nice… different….not sure….what do you think???

 

OH, Gosh yes, MADONNNA….. oh dear me…

 

Something sweet…. awwww

 

Spent time, Open your heart, and think!!!


This song is beautiful its like finding a place you finally can be “you”, we search our lives for the upmost rewarding experiences  ..only if we trust…. at the end of our lives don’t say… I wish I did more…. do it now..for fcuks sakes… what do you want a Flag that says “Ready, Set, Go… ok… Ready, Set, Stop..

Why Stop cuz, this journey is very dey jau vu

Mr Invisable is just that Invisable… but, has a twin..is called dey jau vu 2..

Sorry personal joke hehehehehhehe

 

What do you think that is?

I think it’s about many things love, friendships that truly matter, trust within your heart and your soul and to try and do your best as a person to others.

How about this to be loved and acepted for who you are good, bad and darn right a tad curious and to find out people are just like you…

This means to accept is to be brave, to search deeply to see if a person is good or not worth your time… why?  Because it’s the right way of doing … we should never judge others but, alas we do.. or our subconcious does.. and it does for many reasons… why, well that is a very long and lengthy story to tell.. which I will tell in time to understand that savy pestering subconcious mind of yours…

When something is lacking in your life you tend to end up seeing a pattern when your ounger and notably you see in in your relationships and most of all it is easiest to see in other couples.. example.. who puts more effort into that relationship….

Giver and a Taker…… 

I lacked alot of love or you could say the spoken word of just saying I truly love you and will never leave you… well, it’s like the search for extracting oil out of a oil pit… easy rigtht not at all… we are all like Krips some and some are not…

With all the knowledge and insight you might have you may still require further evidence to the fact.. why do you think that is

Well, its logical, everything requires further data.. TO BE LOOKED INTO FURTHER…. why do you think that is….Again that Darn subconcious mind that likes to protect you from anything other than …safe… that is great but, it also can be a right Bitch.. and go… Nope it is a Conspriracy you will be disappointed, you will be hurt, you will be betrayed…

What a load of shit

Never think that you know someone until you really communicate with them see how they interact with others and of course their family and listen to their heart felt joys, sadness, disappointments from watching learning and understanding you find out some people are lovely right down to their bone and others well they lack a few good kind items that seem to be missing and then you meet those that are totally broken but, cannot see it.

Here are two scenario’s of possible people both are broken both have never got help both perhaps dont even know they are suffering.. oh yes, both are also made up scenarios.

Imagine a husband and wife the wife is a great mother, wife, she tells her family she loves them does pretty much every mortal thing for each one of them.. especially her hasband… she tries to overly please him even she doesnt even see that she is doing this and she is tired…

What does he do for her…..

He ignored her and barely put too much effort into his children why do you think that is?

Because a long time ago he loved his parents he loved them so much he would do anything for them but the key thing that damaged him was that those parents didnt know how to love.

So, the motto of this story is that “In some families a husband will try so hard to show his wife that he loves her by changing himself by helping her with everything and by supporting her with every possible moment of his exisitance…. Why because he was born with a decent kind heart that is why..

His wife was hurt and something happened to her to loose her way… time passed and people change because a trauma occurred during her childhood.. she never really dealt with it.. what she did was .. said I am fine, or she fibbed and said, that she has already dealt with my past… its not that…. denial of understanding any trauma will end up hindering your family, yourself and those around you..

You see Communication, love, understanding, honesty, trust, a little bit of ego, self worth and a bit of pride and humanity, empathy, sympathy all these wonderful beatiful words means something why?

Because to Live a beautiful life full of experiences you MUST exercise every word, every emotion, every loving moment with time and patience to those that understand that the person they do this too is the same like minded people.

We are just too hard on ourselves, we doubt the spoken word and our hearts speak out by the love that embers out of each one of those people … so Next time when you recognise one of these good people.. stop and give them time, because you never know if you didnt take that time to spend with them and understand how they are deep down then you may possibly missed the best beautiful heart who would love you just the way you are… without judgement, without spite, just pure and simple love.

Just thoughts I was thinking in the last 2 days… enjoy your long weekend… regards and best wishes Candii xxx

 

 

You will love the lyrics……….enjoy and bless… xxx

 

 

Blurting words on a Blog… seeing if anyone wants to read…


Today my day has been very tiring to say the least!

Emotionally spent is what I would call it!

Little energy, and a whole lot of disappointment I would put it… however, not in myself nor my husband or my family not really sure what I am trying to say!!

Just a bit tired I guess you could say a little under the weather today!!!

Selfish, as it maybe, but, I would be lying to say anything other that the truth!

What am I really saying to anyone that wants to read my silly banter on a blog?

Well, I would like to say a lot actually, and mostly nothing, just me saying stuff built out of emotional tiredness I guess, I watched by dad yesterday remissness about his brothers, sisters, Antonio (Vito) his brother that died at the age of 12 while getting hit by a car… his spirit was wild and naughty just like anyone who has a wonderfulness of vest in their life-like he did.

He took 12 days to pass away those days and these days would have made a difference but, to my dear dad that moment of talking about his brother made me feel so present of what life feels like when subjected to your own mortality.

Is life fair?

Not really, however, it all depends on what you want or expect from yourself and those that you love around you!

Plus, it also depends how much you put into your life, doesn’t it?

Or does it?

So,  sounds melancholy the way I am typing this and to be perfectly honest, what am I trying to say, maybe something or nothing, I really have no answer…

So, when is it that we actually start to open up our own lives to see what we have done that was that special on life?

What is it that we want to do that will make us all so happy enough to go, I lived a good life?

And what is a good life when you are facing your own exit?

I guess we will one day find out what that truly is, right?

Bloody hormones, menopause, not taking tablets, being 50, loving it, hating it, who really knows what it is all about.. Just blurting words and feelings on a blog that most don’t want to read nor comment.. such is life I guess…

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Sharing and Caring – by Franny…


Hello Cindii here,

I have amended this to include a very private bit of one story that occurred to me.. so you have an idea what happens.. so please read.. comments would be lovely if you wish… if you don’t all good.. this is all about understanding…and sharing a story of hope….

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I wanted to share with you a few truths about my journey to date, I have experienced many chapters that often can be beautiful, make you smile, love, desire, trust, cherish, those words that you don’t often see in posts.

We are more likely to see words like, I had a terrible day because, I didn’t get out of bed because, I feel sad, I can’t stop feeling like I am a bad person, Why am I worthless, What did I do to you, How come I feel so ashamed, I want to kill myself!

Now those above are definately HUGE…… WARNING SIGNS, and to be perfectly honest, I have used everyone of them and more, only to me and only in my head I use them unless I am speaking to someone I trust enough to tell them too. (it took me years and years to understand why I felt so low for so long)

So, how to stop your little “minions” in your head?!?

Well, you have to forse yourself to say things nice about YOU… easy? is it?

It is yes 🙂

Well, the first step is reading my post, so thank you if you are suffering any of those emotional words and I want to say something to you, “You will be okay, if you allow yourself “this”, take those steps to help “YOU”, because I felt all of those words and more my dear reader and it hurt my soul, deeply, I felt like I was worth nothing, and it was distroying everything I was, and wanted to live for and that isn’t fair to live a life having those emotional words in your head, right!

So, I guess my journey perhaps a little off center you could say how I ended up getting help – long story personal story.. perhaps for a book that may come out later when all are dead… (that was a joke)

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Life is about learning, And, yes look above, “Don’t be so hard on yourself”, we all do it, we all think that we are not good enough, so I am here to tell you, Boulderdash, and Bees wax, you SO, ARE!!!!

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This picture is me a little enhanced at Easter however, still it is me, smiling, happy, I don’t look at all sad now do I?

WRONG!!!

Well, I was, I was so down, and battelling with me it was taking my life away within an instant, “my flashbacks where so bad, that I thought that I was dying, I recall, pleading over the telephone, to my husband, saying I had been raped too many times I don’t and still wont put that number down here”!!!

My heart sank, I was in such shock my entire body was trembling under me, I was home alone, and I felt empty, humiliated, I felt that my life was over, and there was nothing within that moment of time that you could say, do or even give me to make me feel better once I acknowedged that horrid number!!

I cried my eyes out, and then shock hit me.. I went white, my body was trembling, swet was dripping off me like a tap and my breath was just about “done”!

I wanted out!!!!

I wanted to die, I wanted nothing else but, to end my life because I felt like I was worthless!!

I had enough energy to get up I walked into my spare room and I forsed myself to do my timeline to see exactly that number…. and I was right!

Then suddenly it hit me, I felt better, I have no idea what it was, I think it was finding out that 1 person had hurt me multiple times and for some stupid reason I was relieved to read that… well, at least I felt morbidly better..

Seriously, how does that sound? 

I felt better because 1 person raped me multiple times?? WTF???

So, now what?  Well, as we all do we live, and that is exactly what I wanted to do, I wanted to live happier, love those that I care about, and live a life that I really feel passionate about because my life looking back was shit!!

And, frankly, I don’t care how other perseve me, I really could give a hoot about anyones rude behaviour because I am me, and I am strong enough, to get through all that has been done to me.

Why because I am worth it!!

And so are you!!!

So here is my suggestions to living a life worth living and loving yourself because you deserve to live it !!!!

“Never ever, allow another to take something off you without your approval, without your, acknowledgement, without your concent”

So, here I am after 3 years or take a few months if you wish, happier, getting healthier, and definately doing what I want to do and that is helping others that have suffered the same as I have suffered.

I also want to help couples, love better, kinder, sexier, hotter, push themselves to a point of understanding why they are attracted to one another… or push our own boundaries because we are worth every moment from the day we are born…

My motto is ………….. for gods sakes life is too short lick the bloody spoon, will you!!

Look for your warning signs like I did….. below I had more than those, let me give you the hot tip!!!

I used this term, “Ground hog day”, The never-ending Story and I use, “The Trueman Show”, those titles are about reflecting on a part of your life that hurt your soul and it was brushed under the carpet so no one knew it was that messy.

The only solution for erasing or at least diminishing those titles is about learning and listening and understanding a new yet odd language of life, this takes devotions, a wanting to let it go, a strength within yourself to understand neglect, harm, trauma, all those words and more I wanted to set yourself FREE.

Okay, how do you do that?

Well, it takes time, it takes patience, it takes trust, respect yourself and those around you to help you evolved into the beautiful human you can be..

Firstly, you need to find someone who has the background that can help you move forward, then you need to trust that you’re not going to be harmed by the person you chose to help you.

What do you look for in a counselor or therapist or even a trust friend, partner or family member:

However, I would recommend the first two suggestions Counsellor or therapist mainly because they will give you the tools to help you going forward.

Here are some suggestions that I would say to you to do:

Make sure your ready to do this each persons experience can and will affect you and you have to make sure that you understand this before you even go down this path.

If your trauma is sexual, abusive, harmful experience that you went through you must seek a professional as they will help you cope with using tools that will help you cope with these epoxides.

First steps:

  • So make sure you feel ready for this new journey of letting go of your past!
  • Make sure you have plenty of rest, you eat well and are exercising or at least physically fine before you do any sessions with anyone.
  • No DRUGS!!!!!!
  • No alcohol on an ongoing basis this will distort your thoughts and run you down
  • Remember it isn’t your fault and you must understand what may have occurred will not harm you going forward by talking about it with a professional.
  • Drink Water it will hydrate you 

These first steps are set because I understand on all the above as I myself have suffered from drinking too much, having drugs to numb me and health and hygiene is a MUST, with depression and sadness, any trauma, you will become a sloth!! Sorry, you WILL time will not heal you with isolation, depression, anxiety, sadness, it will kill you.. so please understand I am trying to give you sound advice…

How did I feel about me: “I hated me, I hated them, I hated everything about ME, and then some!!

Second Steps:

After you have managed to set yourself free of those nastier, you then decide who should I use as good counsellors..theraphist or even a psychologist,  I will help you with some by adding them to the bottom of this post.

Okay, so your ready to find a good counsellor or therapist!!

  • Find a therapist that has the tools with your trauma, sadness, depression or anxiety that you’re experiencing
  • Ask questions…. it is your right to ask them to your chosen person that you will be telling your trauma too!!
  • Understand your rights… they have a duty of care to report anyone they feel will harm you or perhaps you will harm another.. this is just the set rules of any type of professional and they should inform you on the first session.
  • Remember they are not your BEST friend, they are a sounding board for you to talk to, cry to, understand yourself and help you move forward in your journey of life!

So, if you wanted to invite them to a BBQ, they will decline as they are only there to help you find those tools in moving forward to a better life.

Now remember it is all up to you… you will experience episodes of joy, happiness, and most of all if it was trauma or abuse, you could possibly in fact WILL have flashbacks of that time in your life … relax, it will get better…

Trust your journey Like I have it is about understanding yourself and allowing you to live a better happier and for for filling life going forward.

Now, just so you know, we are only human, we do cry, we get angry we will yell, scream, get confused and have times of sorrow.

However, with the right help you will discover that life can and will be better if you allow yourself to be Open and most of all keep your pride and ego at the door when you enter because that my friends, is everyone’s Achilles!!

The time it took me is over 3 years this all depends on your personal experiences in your life.. so understand it isnt a quick fix.. however, it is a life better lived if you are brave enough to allow yourself to do this..

My suggestion is do it!! For YOU!!

Counselling Support is below:

Mens Health Help contacts:

Child Help for parents:

Have you ever heard Someone Say:


 

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I am okay, I have Dealt with:

 

  • my husband or boyfriend beating me up ?

  • I have dealt with a child never returning home?

  •  I have dealt with my daughter suicide?

  • I have dealt with being raped?

  • I have dealt with an uncle molesting you?

  • I have dealt with loosing a my unborn child?

  • I have dealt with my son, brother, sister, child dying in a car accident?

  • I have dealt with my child being murdered?

Have you ever heard that old saying…

Everything in life comes with a lesson or a blessing?

Well, let me tell you that I know exactly what it is like…. I have had a few unfortunate traumatic experiences occur and if I could turn back time .. holy shit I am so amazed I am still living on this planet!!!!

10 fun facts

Let me first talk about 1968 as a child 

For me mine started very young, I was extremely emotional kid, felt everything, loved being a little girl, smiling, happy, painful to my parents, mostly my mum, just a normal little girl.

However, I seemed to be more emotional than most and that was for many reasons, I used to always be in trouble just like any other child, I guess, however, I seemed to always end up at the bike rakes stopping some idiot fool think they where going to help my brother get better (he had a slight disability – I like to say it that way because as a child he was just my big brother)

So, for years and years, a lot of kids thought because frankly they had no idea that having a disability meant it was permanent (stupid fools) and they thought it was an easy fix thinking it was easy to beat my brother up so it would shock him out of whatever these kids thought he had…

Seriously, I wondered if I was in the twightlight zone, or their parents never spoke about things like that.. which I do recall they didn’t ever!!

Anyway, I guess everything has to start somewhere in your life however, that wasnt it for me, that was just life.. and that seemed to never phase me it was just normal for me.

Without going to into my life as a child  – I have to say at times I did struggle, I struggled because I felt to blame in a lot of things that happened to me as a child and I was punished for them… mostly warranted.. some perhaps could have been dealt with a bit fairer..

So, I grew up with old fashion values, lying was never tolerated, so you would be punished, fighting with your brother well, that was a daily effort of normal I guess, so again, punished (lol).

However, on a serious note other things that used to occur like Teachers asking for you to come out of the class so they can touch your hair, (weird) and if you told your parents we when told that we must not tell fibs and to hold your tongue.

Other things occurred, disturbing things, that other children would do, like sitting on your head while a siblings pants was pulled down by other sisters down the street many things occurred or I saw, was done to me and again nothing ever was really believed.

So, as children you begin to say nothing to anyone and you walk away because no one will believe you and those times become harder because you cannot cope.. so you cry a lot or you seem to be labelled a sook.

Kids, will be kids, but, I have to say, 1968 kids, had it tough some of us I must admit..  I remember girls my age never allowed to go outside and play.. by their parents… after school..  many actually!

Those days was tough, I felt a lot of pain and fear going to school and coming home I guess, but, I put that down to growing up and healing pretty quickly because it never stuck long and we as children pretty much grew the hell up pretty quickly..

I guess, we never acknowledged things and we never spoke about things because frankly it was never heard of… so we shut the hell up!! and went on with our lives..

I guess what I am trying to say or at least paint for you .. it all depends on the severity of what you went through, saw or even was witness too and how your parents taught you.

It was a lot of fun, happy times, miserable times, more happy times, we dealt the best we could but, we never gave up .. most of us never, ever gave up… that is want I did notice as kids at school, after school and we played outside everyday.. so perhaps maybe that was the key of survival..  in those days..

Of course I am missing out of a lot of things that I have not said, but, this isn’t my point that I am trying to explain to you… that will come after I do my next post…

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So, I really would love to hear from those who are brave enough to discuss their childhood you can do it briefly like I did or in details..

  • So, What was your childhood like?

  • Was it like (children are seen and not heard?) 

  • And what differences did you find from what I explained above?

 

 

 

 

Play together.. so you can Stay together…


 

Life is amazing and scary and many, many things the most terrifying moments for me is to be present… Why?

Because of never being able to have the present real.. expectations are never true, the expectations of surprise and happiness taken away within an instance and feeling forever feeling never, ever enough for anyone!

This song I will do anything normally not to listen to it because frankly it means I have to listen and be present and never, ever, ever, be belated… why?

Because it is never, ever, true, it’s made up of dreams, beliefs, that beautiful experience most people get that is called LOVE…

It reminds me of being that little girl at Christmas and my expectations where so pure and that big huge SMILE of thank you.. that I feel loved..

That feeling of Love and Love looking back by just a smile, glance and that most precious feeling of a warm and loving hug.. knowing you are the only thing in the world that matters…

That it me is a dream that one day I had hope would happen to me..

 

Time…….. the beat is like a heart, beating harder, louder, deeper, purer, it has no end and randomly beats when it sees the eyes of the one that it loves and that loves it…

Pure love is my hidden passion where it’s full of smiles, ease, peace, harmony, endless talks about living, loving, seeing, travelling with the earth, growing and forever being real….

Listen to the beat of the song below…. simply beautiful… these words everything I write going forward is how I will write……how I feel….. how I love and most of all how I see things through my own eyes……………… I am me being me there is no reason, why’s, who’s and when’s that is just now………………………………………………………………. x

 

 

 

Beautifully said…….. I want to live gorgeous video of seduction, sexual thirst, hunger, desire and passion………

wicked hot nights sweting, dripping, with panted breaths, longing to hear, feel undressed, skin on skin….

naked and desired….

Now that is how you fuck……

 

Time for me to be me again….. I cannot just be… I require more…that this… don’t you agree…

Play together.. so you can Stay together…


 

Life is amazing and scary and many, many things the most terrifying moments for me is to be present… Why?

Because of never being able to have the present real.. expectations are never true, the expectations of surprise and happiness taken away within an instance and feeling forever feeling never, ever enough for anyone!

This song I will do anything normally not to listen to it because frankly it means I have to listen and be present and never, ever, ever, be belated… why?

Because it is never, ever, true, it’s made up of dreams, beliefs, that beautiful experience most people get that is called LOVE…

It reminds me of being that little girl at Christmas and my expectations where so pure and that big huge SMILE of thank you.. that I feel loved..

That feeling of Love and Love looking back by just a smile, glance and that most precious feeling of a warm and loving hug.. knowing you are the only thing in the world that matters…

That it me is a dream that one day I had hope would happen to me..

 

Time…….. the beat is like a heart, beating harder, louder, deeper, purer, it has no end and randomly beats when it sees the eyes of the one that it loves and that loves it…

Pure love is my hidden passion where it’s full of smiles, ease, peace, harmony, endless talks about living, loving, seeing, travelling with the earth, growing and forever being real….

Listen to the beat of the song below…. simply beautiful… these words everything I write going forward is how I will write……how I feel….. how I love and most of all how I see things through my own eyes……………… I am me being me there is no reason, why’s, who’s and when’s that is just now………………………………………………………………. x

 

 

 

Beautifully said…….. I want to live gorgeous video of seduction, sexual thirst, hunger, desire and passion………

wicked hot nights sweting, dripping, with panted breaths, longing to hear, feel undressed, skin on skin….

naked and desired….

Now that is how you fuck……

 

Time for me to be me again….. I cannot just be… I require more…that this… don’t you agree…

When In Rome….. we shall do what others do… RIGHT!!!!


Hi Candii here,

Now, this is talking my language, however, a fish out of water perhaps but, would I attend these amazing places.. Absolutely, and I would wear something HOT and Rediculously Slutty, with a touch of Classiness…

I think it would be the best fun ever … a bit like diving into the DEEP end first but, hey why not.. “When they say, When in Rome”!

I would wear appropriately, latex corset with heels up to my fanny, and fishnets, false eye lashes, may even get a tattoo, oh and fake boobs would be just right up my ALLEY….

However, let’s not get too over board… oh sugar, why not…. stuff it and I would take two men.. dressed beautifully, and we would play very well together..

Okay, that is my fantasy that GOD…. please before I die.. heheheh anyhoo, check out the below and see if any of this ticks your box.. like mine…

Enjoy Franny (aka Candii)

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Not your everyday Playgrounds

Want to go to one of the best swingers parties in London? Adults want to have fun too, right? The Playgrounds organise parties where you can have all the kinky fun you want. A sex party in London that is far from boring – these organisers mix it up and switch from venue to venue. Their motto is “for people who just get it” and, believe us if you attend these insane events, you’re most likely to get it.

austin icom.pngBDSM Bedfordshire, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Discover a new level of Arousal

One of the amazing venues to find swingers in London is the famous Arousal. Home to a kinky array of parties that cater for every taste. It’s enormous, complete with 13 communal play areas and six lockable playrooms. For the kinksters, there’s a dungeon, cages and glory holes galore. Arousal hosts the previously mentioned Playgrounds’ ‘Swingles Party’, ‘Naughty Bi Nature’ (the biggest bisexual swingers party in London), and the Blackman’s Fanclub. Talking of which…

austin icom.pngBDSM Bedfordshire, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Are you part of the Blackmans Fanclub?

The name says it all – this is not your average swingers party in London. There’s nothing quite like a sex party in London purely dedicated to gorgeous, open-minded black men and their many admirers. That said, BMFC events are open to all swingers in London, regardless of the colour of their skin. Let’s just say this – if you haven’t tried it already, well, you’ve heard the rumours. Why not see if they’re true?

austin icom.pngBDSM London, Greater London, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Succumb to Subversion

Subversion is the ultimate destination for kinksters wanting to attend a swingers party in London. It’s organised by fetishists, for fetishists alike. But if it’s your first time… don’t fret. Everybody’s welcome, and it’s a vanilla-friendly fetish clubbing event. For something naughtier, check out their Noir events – the ultimate BDSM-themed sex party in London.

austin icom.pngBDSM London, Greater London, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Indulge yourself in Killing Kittens

Ladies, worried about being a bit overwhelmed by all the ungentlemanly men? Killing Kittens is a night made to make you feel sexually empowered. Their events happen all over the world, with sex parties in London, New York, Melbourne, Venice and more. And they’ve earned quite a reputation. KK events are said to be the most exclusive, hedonistic and down right naughtiest happenings in the world – purposefully planned with the pursuit of female pleasure in mind.

austin icom.pngBDSM London, Greater London, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Ready to Mingles?

Set up by a beautiful pair of Essex swingers, Mingles was established with classy couples in mind. Think of an elegant wine bar (but bring your own!) mixed with a sexy adult lifestyle destination. You can have a few drinks, let your hair down and if you feel adventurous, have an intimate encounter with new like-minded friends. If you live just east of the UK’s kinky capital, this is the perfect alternative to a Swingers party in London city centre.

austin icom.pngBDSM Essex, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Let yourself be set on Hellfire

The Hellfire is home to countless Swingers parties in London catering to every sexuality and gender. There are events every week including ‘Secret Sunday’, masquerade balls and our all- time favourite ‘Swish’ – the ultimate sex party in London for swingers and members of the fetish community. Think it can’t get any better? Like most swingers in London will find, you’re allowed to bring your own alcohol, but at Hellfire, soft drinks are also completely FREE – all night long.

austin icom.pngBDSM Surrey, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Show off your Legs 800

Swingers in London craving for a venue in which you can really be your true self? Legs 800 is a very special place dedicated to members of the transgender and crossdresser community (and their admirers!). You can dress up, get a makeover, dance all night and have a cheeky fumble in the private rooms with someone who appreciates you at your most beautiful. More of a celebratory escape than a mere Swingers party in London, Legs 800 is as unique as it is fun.

austin icom.pngBDSM London, Greater London, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

 

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Best Swinger Clubs in London: Meet the South London Swingers

Last but not least, let us introduce you to South London Swingers. How long has it been since you went wild at a friends house when their parents were away? This is for those who are now all grown-up, and know exactly what they want – to meet other swingers in London in a comfortable and very, very naughty house-party environment. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to revel in delicious decadence, with that taboo feeling that feels oh so familiar.

BDSM Sutton, Bedfordshire, UK – Swingers Clubs, Fetish Clubs, Dungeons and More!

Beliefs are Magical, Mystical and most of all it is Freedom of living


 

Imagine a life of beliefs, Imagine a life of wonderment, imagination, magical events, and Empowerment of ones self…

When we are young we imagine so easily, to be a Astranaut, Nurse, Doctor, Priest, getting married, having children, climbing that mountain, running a race …

We all have beliefs sometimes we have those anchors that hold us back but, we rise above the harsh experiences and we learn and we grow…

We change… did you know that we Change and you dont even see youself doing it..

The hardest thing in this world is to change… but, we do.. we learn something new.. and we go okay lets do it.. or grab an empty suit case and we run down to the airport and we close our eyes and we pick there..

Why is it that we find life so hard, so difficult to believe, if a person is a good person why on earth would you hurt them, you would embrase their courage, hug them and say you are so brave and you did so well and they appreciate those small little words but, it means more to them then breathing this air we take for granted.

We are all unique and beautiful we just need like minded people to listen to us, believe us and just like us for being just that different.

That to me is strength, truth, love, all those beautiful words we all are so lazy by taking those who we trust and love for granted .. let me tell you I do not take anyone that I feel has a soul that loves… as week.. it is the strength that most of us don’t have..

Move your ass off that couch and do something spectacular…. and enjoy it…. love it and pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to try… and that is living a life…

And if those that you are around don’t understand you move to another area and they will gravitate towards you because you are so true.. and truth is Empowerment..

And it is Beautiful…. that is all we can do.. in this small amount of time… so make sure you change every day do something you dont normally do… sing, dance, live, drink, eat, whatever you want to do…. just do it with humility…

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Fran’s thought for today.. Embrace your Life… and Live it…. xxx


Imagine a life that you are so loved and appreciated for who you are it would be perfect right!

Alot of us including me have said alot on here but, I am going to share some fact about what I am about, I love people, love them to bits, I cannot and will not ever understand why people want to be something they are not!

We start our journey when we are born and sometimes it’s bumpy, horrid, happy, amazing, funny, and sometimes there are alot of our past that means so much with amazing memories.

 

However, I seem to see us all dwell on those times that have given us grief but, we seem to forget those other times that makes us “smile, laugh, giggle, roll around on the ground with fits of laughter”, those precious moments with your family, friends, those moments that where amazing, rediculous and darn right shocking!

I believe this, sometimes we see beauty, love, great amazing moments with loved ones but, those times when we feel so damn sad it breaks our hearts, and stops you in your tracks with dispair.

I should know I felt every, bit of them these last few months however, that noise that once was so loud, horrible that made me want to crawl into fetal position on the ground seem like a dim memory thank god!

As time goes on for me I believe that this feeling I used to feel will pass and hopefully with beautiful thoughts of walking forward will be the best times, well that is what I am hoping for.. and why the Hell not!

I wish I could fix everyone and hopefully with time and understanding maybe those few that I come across I will do my best to help them of course we cannot fix the world even though I once thought in my tiny “big ideas franny” head.

I am just a very simple chick with an open heart that cares alot about people and I share things not to shock you more to open your eyes to possibilities that you may never have thought possible or even thought before about.

It’s not that I want you all to go out there and do all those things I write about its more about awareness of what is out there, what could be something possible without those darn labels, rude remarks and slandours comments some people use when they don’t understand something or are afraid to even possibly think is possible.

We all have a right to live our lives the way we want to.. if that means that I like hanging naked upside down with a pink bikini then I will and if I want to share with you pictures I will…

Laughing, which I don’t and probably more likely wont, but, you get what I am saying I hope..hehe, just live your short beautiful life and a happy, smiling, loving and open mind.

Our minds and our hearts are the breath in our souls..

Remember that… our hearts beat, and our souls live forever….

Enjoy every moment… because before you know it .. it will be gone..

 

External Validation – what does this mean?


External Validation: (here is an example of what I mean)

  •  I Need Others To Like Me And Think I Am Smart, what does it have to do with being smart???

I guess its about what story your telling people is it about how wonderful a person you are and what I have as in cars, houses, things!!!

However, I would NEVER use this as a negitive regarding my wellbeing,

Example of a friend…

  • her/his childhood abuse that was inflicted to me as a child, nor would I use this as the rape, drugging, and being reduced to a piece of shit that someone made me feel once upon a time, now would I?

Here is a few areas I found in relation to seeking “good” and “negitive” validation, becareful that you end up thinking what you cannot do… Let’s change this because if you require validation from others because you find it helpful then do it….

Don’t allow others to cloud your judgement because they feel that your doing it too often, perhaps its because you feel that they are not LISTENING!!!

I personally feel that it is a very sad area and in most cases it can be a solo event and a very alone feeling of isolation when people suffer such torment in their lives.

I should now its taken me 50 years to tell a story and I DO NOT want validation 

It breaks my heart how many people are so nasty and so quick in saying your seeking External Validation for your pain??????

Go figure!!!

Candii

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Here below is some facts… that I would like to share for an external area (pardon the pun)

Validation for Healing and Personal Growth

People who have been abused, mistreated, hurt, or wronged in any other way almost universally seek validation. We talk to others, tell our stories, write about it, and express it in other ways.

Even perpetrators do it because, in their mind, they are the ones being wronged even though they are the ones harming others—but that’s a separate topic. Here, we will only talk about people who were actually wronged and we will exclude scenarios where a perpetrator seeks validation or actually receives enabling.

Everyone in their own mind wants to make sense out of their painful experiences and be validated that they are right. A commonly used way is to talk about it with others. The most productive scenario is probably to seek professional help, assuming that you can find a competent enough helper, be it a therapist, life coach, counselor, social worker, etc. But, depending on the situation, sometimes friends, family, or even strangers can do the trick.

Seeking Validation in the Wrong Places

Sadly, many people don’t have close, trusting, mature relationships. A lot of people have unsatisfying or unhealthy relationships. And so they seek validation, understanding, compassion, and support from people who are unable or unwilling to provide it.

So many people have heard phrases like, “Just get over it,” “It’s not a big deal,” “Don’t be a pussy,” “They’re your family,” “Don’t live in the past,” “How dare you blame your mother/father?” “They didn’t mean it,” “It made you stronger,” “You’re so negative,” “You swore for better or worse, together no matter what,” and so on.

Receiving such a response when you open up and share your pain can be devastating, even retraumatizing, especially coming from someone close or who is a professional. Here, people who don’t have a support system or are easily gaslighted experience confusion, self-blame, shame, and guilt. They simply wanted empathy and compassion for their pain, but encountered invalidation, minimization, dismissal, blaming, ridiculing, or guilt-tripping.

Way too often people seek validation, empathy, and compassion from the very people that hurt them. In many cases it is so because the aggrieved party is psychologically dependent on the perpetrator or even experience Stockholm syndrome. This is especially common in families where the adult-child is trying to make the caregiver accept parental responsibility and on an unconscious level desperately tries to gain love and acceptance from them.

Interesting read see below for full reading

SEEKING VALIDATION FROM WRONG PEOPLE IS SELF DISTRUCTIVE

 

 

A trip into the unknown LSD….


LSD and magic mushrooms can help with mental health — and may have profound things to teach us about how the mind works.

To anyone who lived through the 1960s, the proposition that psychedelic drugs might have a positive contribution to make to our mental health must sound absurd. Along with hallucinogens such as mescaline and psilocybin (that is, magic mushrooms), LSD was often blamed for bad trips that sent people to the psych ward.

These drugs could make you crazy, REALLY, WHAT MORE CRAZY THAN DOING NOTHING AT ALL!!!

 

  • So how is it possible, 50 years later, that researchers working at institutions such as New York University, Johns Hopkins, University of California at Los Angeles and Imperial College in London are discovering that psychedelics, when administered in a supportive therapeutic setting, can make you sane?
  • Or that they may have profound things to teach us about how the mind works and why it sometimes fails to work?

Recent trials of psilocybin, a pharmacological cousin to LSD, have demonstrated that a single guided psychedelic session can alleviate depression when drugs such as Prozac have failed; can help alcoholics and smokers to break a lifelong habit; and can help cancer patients deal with their “existential distress” at the prospect of dying. At the same time, studies im­aging the brains of people on psychedelics have opened a window on to the study of consciousness, as well as the nature of the self and spiritual experience. The 60s platitude that psychedelics would help unlock the secrets of consciousness may turn out to be not so preposterous after all.

The value of psychedelic therapy was first recognised nearly 70 years ago, only to be forgotten when what had been a promising era of research ran headlong into a nationwide moral panic in the US about LSD, beginning around 1965. With a powerful assist from Timothy Leary, the flamboyant Harvard psychology professor, psychedelics had escaped the laboratory, falling into the eager arms of the counterculture.

Timothy Leary, LSD guru who encouraged the '60s generation to "turn on, tune in, drop out”. Picture: AP
Timothy Leary, LSD guru who encouraged the ’60s generation to “turn on, tune in, drop out”. Picture: AP

Yet in the decade before that there had been 1000 published studies of LSD, involving 40,000 experimental subjects, and no fewer than six international conferences devoted to what many in the psychiatric community regarded as a wonder drug.

Compared with other psychoactive compounds, these powerful and mysterious molecules were regarded as safe — it’s virtually impossible to overdose on a psychedelic — and non-addictive. Rats in a cage presented with a lever to administer drugs such as cocaine and heroin will press it repeatedly, unto death. LSD?

That lever they press only once.

This is not to say that “bad trips” don’t happen;

  • they do, especially when the drugs are used carelessly. People at risk for schizophrenia sometimes have psychotic breaks on psychedelics, and people surely do stupid things under the influence that can get them killed. But the more extreme claims about LSD — that it scrambled users’ chromosomes or induced them to stare at the sun until blind — were debunked long ago.

It wasn’t until the 90s that a small band of researchers began to unearth what an NYU psychiatrist describes as “a buried body of knowledge” about the therapeutic potential of psychedelics. Perhaps the most promising application of the new drugs was in the treatment of alcoholism.

Few people in Alcoholics Anonymous realise that founder Bill Wilson first got sober after a mystical experience he had on a psychedelic administered to him in 1934, or that in the 50s he sought unsuccessfully to introduce LSD therapy to AA.

Moral panic in the US about LSD began around 1965. Picture: Adam Voorhes
Moral panic in the US about LSD began around 1965. Picture: Adam Voorhes

In parts of Canada during the 50s, psychedelic therapy became a standard treatment for alcoholism, and a 2012 meta-analysis of the six best-controlled trials of LSD therapy for alcohol addiction during that period found a “significant beneficial effect on alcohol misuse”.

Early studies of psychedelics for the treatment of several other indications, notably including depression and anxiety in cancer patients, also showed promise.

These first-wave studies were, by contemporary standards, poorly controlled.

That’s why many of the early experiments are being reprised using more rigorous modern methods.

The early results are preliminary but encouraging: A pilot study of psilocybin for alcohol dependence conducted at the University of New Mexico found a strong enough effect to warrant a much larger phase 2 trial now under way at NYU.

Another recent pilot study, at Johns Hopkins, looked at the potential of psilocybin to help people quit smoking, one of the hardest addictions to break.

The study was tiny and not randomised — all 15 volunteers received two or three doses of psilocybin and knew it. Following what has become the standard protocol in psychedelic therapy, volunteers stretch out on a couch in a room decorated to look like a cosy den, with spiritual knick-knacks lining the bookshelves.

They wear eyeshades and headphones (playlists typically include classical and modern instrumental works) to encourage an inward journey.

Two therapists, a man and a woman, are present for the duration.

Typically these “guides” say very little, allowing the journey to take its course, but if the experience turns frightening they will offer a comforting hand or bit of advice (“trust and let go” is a common refrain).

‘The cancer is something completely out of my control, but the fear, I realised, is not’.

  • Participant in phase 2 trials of cancer patients

The results of the pilot study were eye-popping: six months after their psychedelic session, 80 per cent of the volunteers were confirmed to have quit smoking. At the one-year mark, that figure had fallen to 67 per cent, which is still a better rate of success than the best treatment now available.

A much larger study at Hopkins is under way.

When I asked volunteers how a psilocybin trip had given them the wherewithal to quit smoking, several described an experience that pulled back the camera on the scene of their lives further than ever, giving them a new, more encompassing perspective on their behaviour.

“The universe was so great, and there were so many things you could do and see in it, that killing yourself seemed like a dumb idea,” a woman in her 60s told me. During her journey she grew feathers and flew back in time to witness various scenes in European history;

  • she also died three times, watched her soul rise from her body on a funeral pyre on the Ganges, and found herself “standing on the edge of the universe, witnessing the dawn of creation”.

“It put smoking in a whole new context,” she said. It “seemed very unimportant; it seemed kind of stupid, to be honest”.

Matthew Johnson, the psychologist who directed the study at Hopkins, says these sorts of “duh moments” are common among his volunteers.

Smokers know perfectly well that their habit is unhealthy, disgusting, expensive and unnecessary, but under the influence of psilocybin that knowledge becomes an unshakeable conviction — “something they feel in the gut and the heart”.

As Johnson puts it, “These sessions deprive people of the luxury of mindlessness” — our default state and one in which addictions flourish.

Perhaps the most significant new evidence for the therapeutic value of psychedelics arrived in a pair of phase 2 trials (conducted at Johns Hopkins and NYU and published in the Journal of Psychopharmacology in 2016) in which a single high dose of psilocybin was administered to cancer patients struggling with depression, anxiety and the fear of death or recurrence.

In these rigorous placebo-controlled trials, 80 volunteers embarked on a psychic journey that, in many cases, brought them face-to-face with their cancer, their fear and their death.

“I saw my fear … located under my rib cage,” a woman with ovarian cancer told me. “It wasn’t my tumour, it was this black mass. ‘Get the f..k out,’” she screamed aloud. “And you know what? It was gone!” Years later, her fear hasn’t returned. “The cancer is something completely out of my control, but the fear, I realised, is not.”

Eighty per cent of the Hopkins cancer patients who received psilocybin showed clinically significant reductions in standard measures of anxiety and depression, an effect that endured for at least six months after their session. Results at NYU were similar.

Curiously, the degree to which symptoms decreased in both trials correlated with the intensity of the “mystical experience” that volunteers reported, a common occurrence during a high-dose psyche­delic session.

Typically described as the dissolution of one’s ego followed by a merging of the self with nature or the universe, a mystical experience can permanently shift a person’s perspective and priorities.

The pivotal role of the mystical experience points to something novel about psychedelic therapy: it depends for its success not strictly on the action of a chemical but on the powerful psychological experience the chemical can occasion.

Few if any psychiatric interventions for anxiety and depression have demonstrated such dramatic and sustained results.

The trials were small and will have to be repeated on a larger scale before the government will consider approving the treatment. But when the researchers brought their data to the US Food and Drug Administration last year, regulators reportedly were sufficiently im­pressed to ask them to conduct a large phase 3 trial of psilocybin for depression, not only in cancer patients but also in the general population.

So how does psychedelic therapy work?

And why should the same treatment work for disorders as seemingly different as depression, addiction and anxiety?

When scientists at Imperial College began imaging the brains of people on psilocybin, they were surprised to find that the chemical, which they assumed would boost brain activity, actually reduced it, but in a specific area: the default mode network.

This is a brain network involved in “metacognitive” processes, including self-reflection, mental time travel, theory of mind (the ability to imagine mental states in others) and the generation of narratives about ourselves that help to create the sense of having a stable self over time.

The default mode network is most active when our minds are least engaged in a task — hence “default mode”.

It is where our minds go when they wander or ruminate.

The Imperial scientists found that when volunteers reported an experience of ego dissolution, magnetic resonance imag­ing scans of their brains showed a precipitous drop in activity in the default mode network, suggesting that this network may be the seat of the ego.

One way to think about the ego is as a mental construct that performs certain functions on our behalf. Chief among these are main­taining the boundary between the conscious and unconscious realms of the mind as well as the boundary between self and other.

So what happens when these boundaries fade or disappear under the influence of psychedelics?

  • Our ego defences relax, allowing unconscious material and emotions to enter our awareness and also for us to feel less separate and more connected — to other people, to nature or to the universe.
  • And in fact a renewed sense of connection is precisely what volunteers in the various trials for addiction, depression and cancer anxiety trials have all reported.

This points to what may be the most exciting reason to pursue the new science of psychedelics:

  • the possibility that it may yield a grand unified theory of mental illnesses, or at least of those common disorders that psychedelics show promise in alleviating: depression, ad­dic­tion, anxiety and obsession.

All these disorders involve uncontrollable and endlessly repeating loops of rumination that gradually shade out reality and fray our connections to other people and the natural world.

The ego becomes hyperactive, even tyrannical, enforcing rigid habits of thought and behaviour; habits that the psychedelic experience, by loosening the ego’s grip, could help us to break.

That power to disrupt mental habits and “lubricate cognition” is what Robin Carhart-Harris, the neuroscientist at Imperial College who scanned the brains of volunteers on psychedelics, sees as the key therapeutic value of the drugs.

The brain is a hierarchical system, with the default mode network at the top, serving as what he variously calls “the orchestra conductor” or “corporate executive” or “capital city”.

But as important as it is to keep order in such complex system, a brain can suffer from an excess of order too.

Depression, anxiety, obsession and the cravings of addiction could be how it feels to have a brain that has become excessively rigid or fixed in its pathways and linkages — a brain with more order than is good for it.

Carhart-Harris suggests that, by taking the default mode network offline for a time, psychedelics can, in effect, “reboot” the brain, jog it out of its accustomed grooves and open a space for new pathways to arise.

Who doesn’t sometimes feel stuck in destructive habits of thought? Or couldn’t benefit from the mental reboot that a powerful experience of awe can deliver?

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TODAY’S HOROSCOPE


 

Mystic Fran here with today’s Horoscope

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BTW see above that is ME I do believe I was crimped by a friend (Lara) it was the 80’s and those eye brows.. (wow) don’t laugh Katie Kate…hehehe

I think I may have been 15 years old… with terrible hair and and aweful eye brows like Brooke Shields… I do believe she was the ‘it” girl back then!

Anyway, here is todays Horoscope signs… (still giggling horrible, picture)

Moon Alert

We have the “all clear” today to shop and do business. The Full Moon is in Sagittarius.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Be careful because today’s Full Moon could create an accident-prone influence for you. This might be due to distractions of others (drivers talking or texting on cell phones) or yourself? Therefore, be mindful! And avoid controversial subjects.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Today’s Full Moon focus is about money. Perhaps this means a financial discussion will come to a head? Or you might finally learn the cost for something? (Ouch.) Something to do with earnings or expenditures will catch your eye.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Today the only Full Moon opposite your sign all year is taking place, which is why relations with partners and close friends might be prickly. When the Moon is full it means the energy of the Sun and the Moon are in opposition to each other. This includes male/female energy. Be nice.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Because the Moon is your ruler, you generally feel (in varying degrees) every Full Moon, which is why you might be a bit impatient with co-workers today. Or perhaps they are impatient with you? Either way, demonstrate grace under pressure at work and at home.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Today’s Full Moon makes relations with kids more challenging. (Yes, even the family dog feels the Full Moon energy.) It can also create a bit of aggro in romantic relationships. Who needs this? Not you! Your best recourse is to smile and be patient with everyone. (“Dammit Jim, I’m an actor not a doctor.”)

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Relations with bosses, parents and VIPs might be strained today because of the Full Moon energy. Be particularly patient with female family members, especially Mom. (When Mom’s unhappy, everyone feels it.) You’re keen to work hard. Relations with friends are warm. Bosses will listen to you. All is well.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Be mindful of everything you say and do because the Full Moon makes this is an accident-prone day for you. Pay attention to everything you say and do. Think before you speak. Fortunately, relations with bosses are smooth and supportive.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Discussions about inheritances, financial matters, taxes, debt, insurance and anything that you share jointly with someone else will come to a head today because of the Full Moon. Probably this is a good thing. Put your cards on the table.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Today the only Full Moon in your sign all year is taking place. This could make you overreact or be too emotional about things. Conversely, you might see something more clearly, especially in a relationship. Good luck.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

The Full Moon today could encourage tension or friction with co-workers. Just be aware of this. If you feel it, then you realize you don’t have to react. This is the only day in the year this occurs. Hey, you can be big about things! Rise above them. Be cool.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Friendships are important to you. In fact, the words “Aquarius” and “friendship” are synonymous in astrology. Today the only Full Moon all year is taking place in your House of Friendships. This means you might have some stress dealing with a friend or a group. Stay chill. This tension is short-lived.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Relations with authority figures — parents, bosses, teachers and VIPs — might be strained today because this is the only Full Moon taking place at the top of your chart all year. Don’t make a big deal about anything. Why bother?

If Your Birthday Is Today

Actress Annette Bening (1958) shares your birthday today. You are eloquent, intelligent and persuasive. You are also open, honest and always spontaneous. This is a time of completions and taking inventory. Review past triumphs and failures as you finish this nine-year cycle. You might let go of people, jobs and places to move on to something new. You are moving away from heavy burdens to something new and lighter!

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And tomorrow will be Angel Cards by Me…… cannot wait for angel cards….. so excited

 

When self-worth is tied to one’s Sexual and Romantic relationship


Sexual Contingent self-worth (CSW) is self-esteem that is dependent on maintaining what one perceives to be a successful sexual relationship .

When individuals with greater CSW experience positive events in the contingent domain, they have better well-being.

However, if they perceive failures in the contingent domain (sexual domain), they have poorer well-being. One study found that individuals who reported sexual problems, such as PVD, had greater sexual CSW than those without problems.

Individuals with greater sexual CSW may perceive a sexual problem, such as PVD, as a failure in the contingent domain, which could be associated with poorer psychological, sexual, and relational well-being.

Both women with PVD and their partners report feelings of failure in the sexual relationship.

However, couples affected by PVD report being just as satisfied with their overall relationship as the general population. Basing self-worth on the overall relationship (relationship CSW) may serve a protective function for couples coping with PVD.

In our study, we wanted to examine the associations between sexual and relationship CSW and the sexual satisfaction, sexual distress, relationship satisfaction, and depressive symptoms of women with PVD and their partners, as well as women’s pain.

What did we do?
We had 82 couples complete an online survey that included validated measures of sexual and relationship CSW and the sexual satisfaction, sexual distress, relationship satisfaction, depressive symptoms, and (for women) pain during intercourse.

What did we find?

  • When women with PVD reported greater sexual CSW, they experienced more sexual distress and pain.
  • When partners reported greater sexual CSW, they were less sexually and relationally satisfied and more sexually distressed, and women had greater depressive symptoms and lower relationship satisfaction.
  • When partners reported higher relationship CSW, they were more sexually and relationally satisfied and less sexually distressed, and women reported lower depressive symptoms and greater relationship satisfaction.

What do these findings mean?
Results suggest that couples’ greater sexual CSW is linked to poorer sexual, relational, and psychological well-being in couples affected by PVD, whereas partners’ greater relationship CSW is associated with better well-being.

Thus, when couples coping with PVD base their self-worth on their sexual relationship, they may be more likely to experience the negative consequences that are associated to this pain condition.

However, if partners are more focused on the overall romantic relationship, this may serve a protective function for both members of the couple.

Findings suggest that sexual and relationship CSW may be important targets for interventions aimed at improving the well-being of couples with PVD. The results also highlight the importance of including partners in research and treatment for PVD.

It is important to note that this study was cross-sectional.

Thus, all of the associations could have been in the other direction.

For example, it is possible that when couples coping with PVD have poorer psychological and sexual well-being, they are more likely to have greater sexual CSW.

Further research is needed to help determine the direction of these associations.

Until The Ribbon Breaks – Count The Lightening.. beautiful song, Bless


 

Lyrics – thank you Ward Clever for allowing me to share this beautiful song… I adore it and it’s gorgeous indeed xx

https://wardclever.wordpress.com/2018/02/24/as-if-weve-been-here-always/comment-page-1/#comment-27550

Come on now, kiddo
We’ll be alright
Me and you can count the lightning
In the middle of the night

Let them count the thunder
We’ll sit upon the roof
We can sit in silence
And pretend that we are bulletproof

Let them count the thunder
Tonight’s for you and I
Let’s sit and count the lightning as it tears across the sky
Let’s sit and count the lightning as it tears across the sky
As if we’ve been here always, you and I
You and I
You and I
You and I

Come on now kiddo
They’ll always call
We were always stronger
With our back against the wall

Let them count the thunder
Tonight’s for you and I
Let’s sit and count the lightning as it tears across the sky
Let’s sit and count the lightning as it tears across the sky
As if we’ve been here always, you and I
You and I
You and I
You and I

You and I
You and I
You and I

Let’s sit and count the lightning as it tears across the sky
As if we’ve been here always, you and I
You and I
You and I
You and I

You and I
You and I
You and I

You and I
You and I
You and I

You and I
You and I
You and I

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My quotes that challenged me … MORE THAN most really know! ‘ Why did I do this alone? Because I did!


The above is how my heart feels about me.

Because this is what we all should have , want and earn for ourselves.

Life is all about At LEAST TRY and always push your boundaries.. because u never no

I believe we are our own beholder how else will you SEE

Open your hearts

The above is Me…. Submission was a beautiful surprise… thank you

The above means to me that when I was alone and breaking apart I needed someone to hold me.

This below I felt that I have always struggled in identifying who cared enough

We search for love every moment of our lives but true love is within our hearts and embedded in our souls.

We cant fake that.. it isnt possible well not for me it isn’t I cant do fake.

If I ever did ignore you remember it wasnt because I wanted to it was because I didnt know how else to be me.

People take too much without understanding why..

We want love, compassion, honesty, great beautiful conversations of life.. at least I do.

Life my sweet people is too short never stop being you.

Dear Candii, Relationship HIC-UP Line..


Welcome to The Candii Club,

I created this Blog to get a better understanding about myself to learn about my real self so I can finally help those who have suffered the same life experiences that I have endured from for all these years.

My journey has been a “Blessing in Disguise” it has taken me a very long time to finally live my life without regret and live it with a true idea of understanding.

I have to say from the bottom of my “True Self”,  “without those that have supported me throughout my journey thus far”, I would not be where I am today!

My lifes journey has been a lesson and has provided me with the understanding that “Living a Life full of Love & Laughter is the only way to live it!

If you would like to ask us a question to help you live a forfilling loving life please forward your questions below and we will be happy to answer or help you grow..

 

We have created “Dear Candii,” for those that wish to ask her about anything in relation to love, life, depression, partner help, gardening if you wish, if you would like any advise for her to answer send it below or to our Email thecandiiclub@hotmail.com

 

 

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