Tag Archive for ‘love’

Inner Belief in your own self…

A journey of no expectations, unselfish thoughts of one’s self by being honest about how you see the world and then having a little bit of selfishness by saying “I really like you, I enjoy your company, I actually love your whole entire living spirit”.

That little paragraph above is the most effortless emotion and feeling in my heart and soul and it is easy to feel it, say it and what a relief my inner self-belief is still present the funny thing I would like to share with you, is this!dancing

I never, ever, felt that it wasn’t, get out of here…

How do I explain the above emotions that I feel deeply, that is really hard for me to put it in a sentence, sigh!

Sometimes, your values obviously as time passes they rise and they fall with every moment of your existence or experience I should say, a bit like that old negative emotional sadness of being let down,  feeling real, again?

However, the pain in your past only occurs to those that cannot understand you or are so selfish and negative, insecure, I could list them but, for some reason these days if I list a negative thought, it does bring me down.download (3).jpg

But, the difference is I notice it and I let it go now!!

And guess what I can breath and smile and laugh and feel better about me and now it is okay if others don’t I am happy for me, yay at last!

The last month or so … my poor body, I felt tired, old, run down so damn spent, I really had no more gas in the tank!

Stress and your environment will definitely kill you, the age you and damn well, run that body down to just about empty and looking pretty shabby!

The heat in Australia is like shit a brick, Hot as Hell, but, I love it however, I do love airconditioning too 🙂203c226d99520dfbd454b6b999abcd60--google-images-do-want.jpg

I have these amazing overwhelming moments of “please mother of this universe don’t let me do this solo, I am begging you, I know I would be able to but, a tiny bit of hope glimpses in and warms my heart as says, here Franny, I am giving something kind to you back will you take it…

I give you a one or two like-minded, kind, never hurt you or you them, to share your wisdom, understanding, love, trust, endless good feeling of hope and joy until the day you all die!

And the tears of joy and that relief of feeling, at last, we can be ourselves and enjoy what is left without fear, without judgement without feeling that someone is going to hurt anyone again that too I is the best gift I could give myself and those that deserve it too.817nvQgfBcL._SX522_.jpg

A family isn’t always about blood it can be if you’re lucky, however, if you be the best you can be by just being honest and real, never perfect, we can all have warts and parts of ourselves isn’t that great I know, I am a shit head hehe

But, that isn’t the point of this post it is that thought of being able to believe in yourself and if by any stretch of the imagination being able to have a bit of hope for others too.

This isn’t really what I wanted to say but, who cares… you get the gist….of it… it felt nice to feel a similar feeling of the same thing that to me is priceless, if you cannot understand me it doesn’t matter, just know that I am finally at peace with me again…

However, you, well that may take time lol HA!!!!

Anywho, enjoy your Friday people…

Coming Out As Mature Gay Man

Hey Candii here,

I want to talk about a true story that happened to me a long time ago, I was newly divorced single mum with my son being around 6-7 years old my friends had changed a tad to me hanging around a lot of gay men!

Funny things happen when you’re single, however, it was the best thing I had ever done, to be honest, I remember a young boy forgot his name he was young like 17-18 years old. I was in my kitchen making sandwiches for about 30 young me “all gay” and this young man came up to me saying how great I was, he said, where is your girlfriend?

The laughter in my lounge room was roaring loudly and you heard someone say, she’s straight!  The shock on this boys face was epic, he said, but, you have a little boy?! and why are you so okay with all of us hanging out with you and your little boy?

Then my face was in shock!!

I said, to him, do I have to be gay? to hang around you all?

He then explained that he told his parents about himself being gay and how hard it was!

He then said, thank you for being so open and allowing us into your life!!

I said, don’t thank me I love being around strong people who have the guts to be what they want to be regardless of sexuality!  That takes guts and strength most straight people should learn about life!

Years later when working I saw him again in a lift and he remembered me, Franny, he had grown up a lot and he gave me another hug and said, you have always been in my heart and head girl thank you for you being you!!

I don’t really know the magnitude of what I did for him, but, I thought it was beautiful, to say the least, it meant a lot to him and that was enough for me.

True story 🙂

The Dangers Of Revealing Sexuality

Coming Out Later In Life


The divulging of your sexuality towards other people is commonly referred to as ‘coming out’.

This is a specific rite of passage for young gays whereby they not only acknowledge their sexuality, but they begin to tell other people such as their family and close friends, about their sexual orientation.

Coming out is an intensely personal process, and many people experience both positive and negative stories when it comes to their coming out.

In today’s society, particularly in Western Culture, coming out is often deemed to be not a big issue.

Though, try telling that to the person who is struggling with their sexuality and has conservative parents.

Coming out as a young person has unique and different challenges to coming out as an older person, and the experiences can be profoundly different.

People will ultimately come from a wide range of ethnic, religious, class and racial backgrounds which will directly influence their experiences as they come out.

These social standings can affect an individual’s safety, or even their family’s safety and coming out can risk the loss of friendships, relationships and family all because you are exploring your passionate nature.

Ignoring your passions towards relationships is not something that can be done, as ignoring your feelings will often cause great pain, fear, and anxiety.

It’s a different experience for everyone. Thus, coming out as a white, able-bodied young Australian will be a profoundly different experience than that of an African Immigrant living in a low socio-economic area of New York.



Aside from these challenges, there are many more challenges to coming out as an older male, especially if one has denied or repressed their sexuality in their youth and have begun to raise a family.

Older generations were raised in a society and grew up in a time of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell‘ and many people have successfully hidden and/or repressed their sexuality until much later in life.

The question then becomes; why did they hide it?

There’s a variety of reasons as to why people might choose to hide or ignore their sexuality.

Most teenagers, and arguably this is part of being part of a teenager, will naturally reach a point in their lives whereby they will test where the bounds of sex and sexuality sit, and they will explore these boundaries.

It can be an incredibly frustrating and confusing time especially when society expects that you will fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, have children and grow old together and you’re simply not sharing or feeling like that.

At this stage, some people might fundamentally reject their feelings on religious grounds, upbringing, or they might develop intense negative feelings surrounding the issue of sexuality and as a result, will push down on those feelings until they no longer exist.


coming out is distressing

Coming Out is Distressing


This can pose significant issues later in life, and ultimately they’re setting themselves up until they have reached a point when they can no longer deny their feelings.

They have given a lifestyle of heterosexuality their best shot and it’s simply no longer viable.

They have attempted to conform to societal expectations of getting married, having children, and it’s not until they get to later on in lives that they realise that there have been profoundly important things about themselves with which they have neglected, or not acknowledged.

Other people might simply not have the capacity to understand or interpret their feelings of attraction because they had deemed it to be as abnormal, or wrong. In that regard, is not surprising that a lot of baby boomers wait until later in life when they decide to come out, and it’s usually as a result of their lives becoming simply unbearable as a result of hiding who they truly are. Coming out when you’re young is difficult. Coming out when you’re older has significantly more challenges, and arguably, is a lot harder than coming out when young. We’ve compiled a short list of the difficulties that older people might face when they decide to come out later in life.


1. Being Gay And Married:-

Owing to the fact that many people try and repress their sexuality, they will conform to social, familial and religious pressures and decide to get married. Though it is important to note that not all religions have strong stances on homosexuality.


For example:

  • does not have a single school of thought when it comes to homosexuality and is simply merely discouraged.

In any event, people might conform to the popular belief that it’s not accepted and continue on a heterosexual lifestyle.

They might do this in the hope that their homosexual feelings will go away, or they might find themselves in a deep state of denial, or they simply might feel that their feelings are nothing but a phase and representative of the feeling of ‘cold feet’ of getting married.

Many mature gay men have stated that the reason that they got married was that they’d hoped that the feelings would go away, they loved their wives, they considered their wives their best friends and soul mates but rather than happiness and bliss for their lifetime together, all they would feel was an overwhelming sense of infidelity and deceit as they discovered that the feelings wouldn’t go away.

They might try marriage counseling or some form of couples counseling, but inevitably it’s not going to work.


wife ca be devastating

Coming Out To Your Wife Can Be Devastating


Often they can hide and repress this for years, the distractions of life, and growing older play a great part in a person’s ability to ignore what’s underneath as they traverse life, climb the social/work ladder, buy a house, plan for a family and so on and so forth.

One of the worst aspects of being both married and gay is the understanding that the moment that you come out, that there is potentially going to be a lot of hurt, pain, and anger from his wife.

This can be devastating and cause chaos in people’s lives and is probably one of the most challenging aspects of coming out when you’re older.

Especially since he might love his wife, considers her his best friend and feels that coming out will ultimately hurt her.

For some, they simply cannot take this and will either resort to drastic measures or simply engage in infidelity until they get caught out.


2. Parenthood:-

Through trying to repress ones sexuality, they might decide to get married. From there, they might end up being parents.

Becoming a parent also serves as a distraction-like tool in the repression of sexuality and some might see the prospect of having children to be worth it in staying in the closet because it provides them with opportunities that they may not have been able to have as a gay male.

Today, however, there are many options for queer people to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents, and these technologies were simply not available 30 years ago.

Other people feel that being a parent is more important than their sexuality, as they fear that any decision to come out after having children, could negatively impact them.

As such, there are a lot of people who acknowledge being gay early on in their marriage but who have already had children, they decide to repress their sexuality until their children are old enough to understand.

To some people, the idea of providing a loving and nurturing environment for their children is a far more important endeavor.


loving family


3. The idea of Lost Youth:-

Being young is about making mistakes, it’s about embarking on life with the training wheels firmly attached and it is a state of learning and growing.

What about the idea though, that you start off life in the development of a particular lifestyle, only to discover that that’s not for you?

You essentially, in part have to start again.

This is a common train of thought for older people who have come out later in life and they might get the impression that they have to go out into the world and make up for lost time.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to make up for lost time, what’s past has already passed. Mature Gay Adults who have only recently come out, however, will often find themselves behaving and acting like the teen they never got to be in an effort to make up for lost time.

It’s almost considered to be in the same vein as having a mid-life crisis – even the most placid and calm of people might suddenly turn into a raging teen at the candy store lusting and drooling after all the new things in the world that they can experience.

It’s tricky. Others might feel such a sense of shame and inadequacy that it makes them vulnerable to forms of abuse, and they may be plagued with unhappiness regarding the sense that they’re supposed to be an adult, and all of a sudden they’re a child in a world that they didn’t know much about.

In either circumstance, however, there is cause for concern.

Not only in forms of abuse either from being sexually assaulted or financial as a result of this vulnerability, and in young people potentially seeking a sugar daddy where the older gay male is looking for love, but also in the sense that sex and dating conquests may not necessarily equate to a healthy sexual lifestyle.


4. Family Acceptance:-

One of the most important things that people yearn for when they decide to come out of the closet, is that it won’t adversely affect their relationship with their family.

It’s a fundamental need and desire to be loved and accepted by your family.

When people start coming out in their 30’s, 40’s or even beyond there are some families which will struggle with this new found status.

Some members of the family might be unable to accept the sudden change, in the sense that who you’ve been for the majority of your life has now suddenly changed.

They may not be able to transcend past the idea of how they remember or know who their child, brother, sister, the nephew was.

There’s really no way in telling if the experience is going to be a positive or negative experience.

Especially when some people support the idea of being gay, and they can’t get past the feeling that they had been deceived the majority of your life in regards to the gay person.

5. Family acceptance

 Will also extend to the in-laws.

It is highly unlikely that a young gay male will be married in his teens, and as such, will never have to deal with the prospect of telling his in-laws about his sexuality.

People in their 30’s and beyond may have found themselves married, and have acquired a set of in-laws through their partner.

Gay people who come out later in life might have to deal with telling the in-laws about their sexuality.

Though, in some respects, it should be very much considered to be similar to a divorce – whereby the in-laws will either accept you’re coming out, will struggle to remain civil and polite, or they might even be glad to see the back of you.

Having grandchildren involved in this situation is certainly going to complicate things and realistically you should speak to your partner privately first, and have a discussion about the in-laws.


myth and truth


6. Youth Vs Truth:-

This one is partly driven by the shallowness of the queer community and the ideals associated with beauty.

Whereas many people subscribe to the idea that you’re only as old as you feel, it can be quite apparent when someone is desperately trying to cling onto their youth by either wearing inappropriate clothes or embarking on a lifestyle that isn’t representative of their age.

Common problems with coming out later in life circle around an individual’s insecurities – they feel that they’re well beyond the age of getting into the gay scene, or that they’re not in good enough shape to be taken seriously.

From here, one of two things will generally happen. You will go into over-drive and desperately seek to become the most ideal and often stereotypical gay man that you could be.

Or, you might find yourself in a pit of despair and feel that you’re just never going to be good enough and settle for a relationship, or a particular circumstance that is far less than what you deserve.

Neither of these scenarios are the healthiest.

The healthiest approach that one can take is simply let loose, be yourself and try to find your way on your own with the knowledge that there are countless others who are in exactly the same position that you are.


7. Baggage:-

This is one of the tougher ones and can really hit a person where it hurts.

When you’ve been married and you’ve got kids, there are many people out there who will consider you to be a person that’s carrying too much baggage.

However, it’s a similar situation to when going through a standard divorce, with the only difference is that you’re now dealing with a lot of issues and thoughts regarding your own sexuality and invariably it’s a lot of stuff happening at once. If you hear this said to you, it’s going to hurt. But just find comfort and solace in the idea that it’s certainly not an isolated occurrence and that you’re but one in a pool of people trying to find their way. Just like older people going through a divorce, you may find comfort in the idea of not necessarily embarking on looking for a relationship with someone that doesn’t have baggage of their own, but rather looking for someone that also wants to be serious and might be coming with their own baggage.


training wheel


8. Training Wheels:-

You’ve spent the last x amount of years subscribing to a particular lifestyle, and now you have to change that.

Sex is going to be a major component of that, and it can be quite emasculating to discover that you’re considered to be absolutely clueless around sex.

You’re not alone, there’s no manual on having sex or gay relationships, and chances are that when you’re looking for someone else that’s also single they haven’t managed to understand the idea of relationships either!


9. Love:-

Mature people will often feel that they can’t be loved.

They’re often in an already vulnerable state having to deal with all of the above problems, and rather than playing the field and determining who they are attracted to, they’ll often find comfort in the idea of settling down with the first person that shows any interest in them. Monogamous relationships form their primary focus and whilst there’s no harm in this – if you’re specifically looking to form a monogamous relationship then there’s a chance that it can actually stop you from getting into a relationship. The best advice in this regard, play the field.


10. Life Stressors:-

This is often the most difficult, and can directly impact all of the previous issues when it comes to coming out when you’re older.

The fact is, that there might simply be too much going on at once.

You might be dealing with a divorce, you might be dealing and trying to do the best for your kids, you might be trying to find a new place to live, and you might also be trying to work out the intricacies of gay life, sex, and relationships.

That can be a lot of pressure and stress all at once. Take a step back, breathe and deal with the things as they come.

You might not have all the experience of a gay male, but you have a variety of different experiences and challenges that you have overcome just to make it to this point in your life and, surely, that’s worth something.


mature gay couple


I myself am a late bloomer. I am now happier through coming out. I have written these challenges both as a result of what I myself have experienced, and what others in my support network have experienced.

Coming out is not easy at whatever stage of life that you’re in and I absolutely subscribe to the words of Comedian Todd Glass when he states that “everyone comes out at exactly the same time…when they’re ready.”.

I first had an idea that I was gay in my late teens, and this was during the start of the HIV Epidemic.

I didn’t stay closeted for fear of the HIV scare, I attempted to embark on a lifestyle of heterosexual living because I felt guilty, because of fear, and due to a need to please others, like my family.

I don’t believe or view that decision as a mistake, from that choice I feel I was gifted with a beautiful and wonderful relationship with an amazing and patient woman, who gave me two daughters who I love to the ends of the world and who have certainly made my life worth living.

My family has been able to provide me with the strength that I needed to develop the emotional maturity that would later form the foundations of my confidence and acceptance.

Despite coming out when I was older, I have since found myself, I am now true to myself and I could never ask for anything more.

Men’s Health is Important…& I will tell you why!!

Dear ladies,

I was chatting to my sister-in-law Katie, about “Men’s Health”, yesterday in fact we believe that there isn’t enough about our “Silent Suffers our Men” who work so hard and never complain about how they feel.

I believe they have a right just like us women and our dear children and our men that go to work every day, love us every day, complain very little every day have a right to feel, talk, cry, sob on our shoulders every day if they want.

I don’t believe there is enough for our Silent beautiful soul mates, who love us unconditionally, with their whole hearts and souls like my husband and your husbands and their best friends and their fathers and their father’s fathers.. you get my drift.

So, why should they suffer silently, without a whimper, without a cry or any type of complaint!

Anger, hostility and any outburst say it loudly remember they only have that pattern as being a man when they do say anything… sometimes it isn’t all about the rage it could be about their internal feeling of what they can’t say…

So, let’s be different and allow them their say, allow them a shoulder and allow them to be them without hurting themselves, without silently hindered, without killing themselves alone, without them harming themselves…

Not, really fair right?

This movie is about all of us who lost, loved, felt something for someone, knew someone that we loved remember grief will come from your subconcious that only knows what it knows..until you show it something new… Love them trust me they love us.. so if we don’t give we will loose apart of ourselves… it’s our human right as a female and as a man to hold each other… love each other and be their for each other.. the movie is brutal, horrifying, and unrealistic right, or am I?

Children, can even work it out…some movies are what they are made for…making your mind think better and then making your heart open to another dimention..think about it…unrealistic movie yes, indeed how else do we understand…???

This movie is about, grief, pain, suffering, listen to the music, stop and listen carefully to the words they use, its a movie but, it is more than that it is your mothers, that lost their sons and daughters, its your sister its your children its your husbands… listen to the words turn your back away for one moment and listen carefully to the words this movie is tell you something… “Listen please, just Listen”

So, remind your partners tonight when they are home after they have had dinner and go up to them and say, I love you.

Please tell me if you need a shoulder to cry on, a place to say what is wrong, and let me help you get help too (they will laugh, they will get annoyed but, say it to them anyway… so pace yourself and not go to anger when they do get annoyed.. say it anyway everyday….)

My husband did Movember they raised within a group of 25 over $25,000 within that month for a fellow father who lost his son from suicide and that to me was an effort that was amazing bless them for being our partners, friends, fathers, brothers and even boyfriends… bless them everyday for their efforts because without them we couldnt exisit

Love 3Wishes xxx


images (12).jpg

For anyone wanting further information please go to the below link for men


Jimmy Barnes – listen to his story what a legend!! oldskool if he can say it, loudly like he loves to do… then so can any male on this Earth… good effort Jimmy, you’re a true legend

Sometimes when we don’t know something we don’t know it and that is okay, so make sure they know that they do have a choice, they have a right as a human being and as a partner, soulmate, friend, grandfather, brother, cousin, we all have a right to live and be loved… so love them, tell them, show them it is okay to show their emotions, it is okay to cry, sob, scream and tell us that they are hurting.. tell them that they are worth it…… because it could save them … just a thought ladies… they hurt just as much as we hurt… “Remember that okay, much love xx”

Mental Health – We are Crazy… isn’t it AWESOME :)

I Love this have a listen it came from a blogger I will attach his details very cool so right…



I fell again and I can’t pretend
It’s like your darkness kind of drew me in
I see your pain and I’m just the same
One of those feelings you just can’t explain

Maybe you see the weight on my shoulders
Though I try to hide it all
But I wanna be your army of angels
Though I need ’em even more

Cause if you love somebody like me
Can only mean that you’re crazy
Just as crazy as me and
That’s why I love you baby
I’m not a superman and
I ain’t got no master plan
Let’s just take it all as it goes
Cause if you love somebody like me
You gotta be crazy

Two twisted minds, they think alike
It’s way more fun to skip the warning signs
My restless soul, it was all alone
But here with you I kind of feel at home

Maybe you see the weight on my shoulders
Though I try to hide it all
But I wanna be your army of angels
Though I need ’em even more

Cause if you love somebody like me
Can only mean that you’re crazy
Just as crazy as me and
That’s why I love you baby
I’m not a superman and
I ain’t got no master plan
Let’s just take it all as it goes
Cause if you love somebody like me
You gotta be crazy

We could pretend that everything’s normal
And just try to be friends
But baby you know we’d be drowning in
Boredom and we both know where it ends

We could pretend that everything’s normal
And just try to be friends
But baby you know we’d be drowning in
Boredom and we both know where it ends

Cause if you love somebody like me
Can only mean that you’re crazy
Just as crazy as me and
That’s why I love you baby
I’m not a superman and
I ain’t got no master plan
Let’s just take it all as it goes
Cause if you love somebody like me

Can only mean that you’re crazy
Just as crazy as me and
That’s why I love you baby
I’m not a superman and
I ain’t got no master plan
Let’s just take it all as it goes
Cause if you love somebody like me
You gotta be crazy (crazy)

Absolutely motherfucking crazy

One sided affair

When a couple struggles to communicate while being on a journey you will find that slithers start to appear then cracks then bigger separations starts to be present.

Both start to argue more and then the one that is more determined to make it fail or perhaps seems to appear like that with the other watching it then seems to look different all because of silly insecurities that appear from nowhere at the wrong time.

What seems to occur from nowhere a journey that has changed direction and looks frightening because of uncertainty within themselves.

I might be wrong but we both are behaving weird, angry, and hostile towards each other.

Both of us are to blame in this journey together .. hard work, it is emotionally challenging and bloody awful.


For me I find it soul destroying when my partner and me as well.. I am not a saint… denies his side by being argumentative and his wording is sharper, cutting, bitter, he then starts telling you that your to blame and that he is not to blame and it continues and repeats and repeats until he is happy he’s free one of your presence in the same room.

This all starts with a denial of his own feelings he removes himself away by not committing himself in the journey or he throws all the negative or perhaps its that he is incapable of telling you about how he really feels.

I really don’t know but what it does to me it just saddens me so much that even I remove myself because I feel so alone, rattled, isolated, abandoned by him not being true to himself.

A journey for any couple is about both of them, not just one person carrying both people because that’s just hard work don’t you think?

I’ve seen a lot, felt too much, I’ve cried my eyes out and screamed my lungs out even talked to much to the point that is worn out, tired, made to feel like an idiot fool who should have been present a long time ago but I felt I had to blind myself so we all could understand more… about each other.

It seems that everything these days is harder, more emotional, but similar to that one person again (me) is struggling with bullshit babble that seems to go nowhere.

I have felt so damn confused, concerned, and even my mind is fighting hard to understand what this is all about.

When both are at each others throat, or both are separated by concrete walls i find it difficult to see the true essence of what light we have together and for that snippet of a moment, it tears at my heart so savagely.

Time to rethink because what i thought was what he wanted and me too isnt anymore.

That is clear and confusing because that part little moment of a clear picture feels and most of all the aggression that fumes out of his veins with his closed in walls that are now so hard to even see who or what he wants anymore with me.

We both know it is our journey so why is it full of uncertainty,  it feels like his hole body and soul wants to fight but, for what?

Do as I say not as I do?!

My weekend was tough, emotional,  distant and devastating all because of ignorance, blaming, and that feeling in the pit of your stomach it says to you, loudly that our time could be directing us to a place i never had thought we would go.

Life will test you but, its the heart that loses out in understanding more, however, the toxic mind will fuck you both over if you both don’t tell yourselves listen, stop yelling, start being real with real words, real emotions, and that hearts if us both that is your true ears.

So please be respectful to yourselves, and each other.


How To Love Yourself

Enjoy Love Candii xx

Woman Making A Decision


When learning about how to love yourself you will need to create a list of the things that you like about yourself.

This list is what you will use as the foundation to accept who you are at this very moment.

With this guide you will learn how to reduce negative interactions in your lifestyle including bad thinking patterns, it will let you confront your bad past and forgive yourself.

You will then learn how to do something every day for yourself but you will need to be open to change and be honest with yourself.


Make A List Of What You Love About Yourself

It is a good idea to start off making a list of what you really love about yourself both mentally and physically.


Personal character is an important aspect in our daily lives, we use it when we interact and communicate with other people.

Some questions you may want to ask yourself which impact your personal characteristics may include:



People’s physical appearance changes throughout their time depending on their diet and physical fitness. Physical appearance is an important aspect which impacts a person’s self-confidence.

Take a piece of paper and write down what you like about your physical body. To do this, you can start by performing a body scan.

Begin the scan at the very top of your head and work your way down to your feet. Some questions you may want to consider when analysing your face may include:

  • Do you like your skin tone, hair colour or eye colour?
  • Do you like the shape of your face?
  • Do you like your freckles, wrinkles, birthmarks, scars or other features which makes you unique?


Some questions you may want to consider when analysing your body may include:

  • Do you like your body structure?
  • Do you like how toned your body is?
  • Do you like your height?
  • Do you like your posture?


Accept What Is

In order to be happy with yourself, you need to begin by accepting who you are.

The truth is, there is over 7.422 billion people in the whole world, that is a lot of people!

There are just so many people in the world who you are able to compare yourself to.

There will always be someone bigger, stronger or faster unless you are a Guinness World Record Holder and have an official award for being the best of the best.

Your judgement on the way you feel about your personal character and how you physically look is impacted by how you’ve been raised, your peer group, what is advertised in the media, what religion you follow and your culture.

If you do not follow a particular standard you will feel like you will always have something to improve.

There is a famous poem known as the Serenity Prayer by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr which is used by the Alcoholic’s Anonymous Groups which says “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and have the wisdom to know the difference”.

There are multiple versions of this poem but they all have the same meaning.

Its meaning translates so that people are reminded to use courage and wisdom when they are making important decisions, they are two personality traits highly valued within society.

Courage is the term that is used for someone who is actively facing their struggles or fears, someone who is in the ring fighting for what they are able to improve and change within their lives.

Whilst wisdom is the knowledge and good judgement to do what is best. We use our courage and wisdom to impact our lives in a positive manner.

For example, if we have eaten an unhealthy diet, we research how to improve our diet and then take the steps needed to become eat healthier.


Woman In Cardigan Thinking About Self Love


Don’t Worry About What Others Think

There are certain things in our life that we can’t change like traumas or bad experiences, there are aspects of our personalities which can remain ingrained and you cannot change how another person thinks about you.

If you are always worried about what another person thinks and you are trying to change your interactions with them to suit their personality you in effect are not being true to who you are.

You cannot change how another person thinks and we also have no right to know what another person thinks.

Sometimes a person disliking you can be as simple as they may not like someone with your name, your age, gender, religion, sexuality, race/ethnicity, education or maybe they just get a bad vibe from you without any reason at all.

If a person’s judgements of you are petty and are not based upon any factual evidence, reason or actual experience, it is considered to be a type of prejudice. This means someone has formed a bias opinion of you.

They may change how they interact with you by avoiding interactions or negatively communicate with you with passive aggressive undertones.

Although we live in a modern multicultural society a lot of these thinking patterns have shifted to more positive views of acceptance.

It is often considered that what other people think of another person, can appear as reflections of their own values, belief systems and experiences.

In a sense, what they think about you will openly show you who they are, what they think of you isn’t actually about you but is about them.


Remove Negatives From Your Life

If you keep on doing the same things and interacting with the same people, you will find that you will experience a repetitive pattern.

Though if you are continuously finding yourself in negative situations you have to find what you are doing and change it.


Reduce Negative Interactions

– Reduce The Number Of Toxic People You Interact With: 

  • You may find yourself being brought down by an individual who will make you feel bad about your actions or personality to make themselves feel better about who they are.
  • You may feel like your actions are made with reason and knowledge, you should consider breaking contact with the person.
  • If they haven’t stopped bringing you down after you have let them know how you feel about the way they speak to you, it is reasonable to believe that they may not change and will continue to interact with you in the same way.
  • If you find that the toxic person is a family member, you are able to reduce the amount of time you spend with them and ensure that when you see them, you have other people around you to support your interactions.

– Create and Implement Boundaries:

  • Boundaries are important within all types of relationships whether it is a romantic attachment, a family member or at work.
  • If someone has overstepped a boundary you are able to let them know that they have with a statement which clearly tells them why and how.
  • For example, if someone has asked about your personal relationship you can say something which is clear and concise like “I keep the details of my romantic relationship private.”

– Develop Rapport And Friendships With Positive People: 

  • If you are finding that you do not have a lot of positive people in your life, take a step out of your comfort zone and begin searching for new friendships and relationships.
  • With the development of modern technology, there are websites which are dedicated for people to find others who likeminded are.
  • For example, you can find community events in your local newspaper, you can join a meetup group or you can join a local club.


Man In Meditative Pose


Stop Bad Thinking Patterns

– Stop Thinking About The What Ifs:

  • People who are living in the past often remind themselves what they could have done to change or improve the situation.
  • They may say “What if I had done this?” or “What if I didn’t do that?”.
  • This makes a person focus on living in the past rather than living in the moment.
  • They are not actively engaged how they can improve their current lifestyle but instead are invested in something which may have not gone to plan.
  • If you change the question to “What can I do to improve my current situation?” You will be able to come up with healthier alternatives which you are able to work on.

– Learn How To Meditate:

  • There are different types of ways to meditate.
  • Meditation can bring you back to the present moment and allow you to experience what is happening around you.
  • To begin meditating, you can download an application like “Headspace: Guided Mediation” or you can listen to free meditation guides on YouTube.
  •  Some people invest time in learning Taoist sexual practices that incorporate yoga and qigong.

– Do More Of What You Enjoy:

  •  You may be thinking to yourself “I wish I played tennis more” or “I wish I saw my family more”.
  • If you find yourself wishing you did more things which you enjoyed like a hobby or interest you will naturally be able to feel more positive about how you are living your life as your time is going to something which you find of value.
  • If you find that people in your relationships do not want to participate in your hobby, you should try doing it by yourself!
  • Although it can be scary at first, you are doing the one thing that you love or you can join your local club who will do the hobby with you.

– Sex Improves Wellbeing: Engaging in healthy sex can help improve wellbeing. It boosts mood and immune system. It also acts as a natural stress reliever.


Getting Stuck In The Negatives:


Change Your Environment

– Move Apartments Or Houses: 

  • If you find that your neighbourhood does not reflect the way you wish to live or negatively impacts your mental health when you have the means to move apartment or houses you are able to choose a new community which may give you a healthier and more optimistic outlook to your life.

– Change Jobs: 

  • If you are struggling with being stagnant in your job or find other aspects of your job draining, you are able to search for a new company that may better suit your work ethics.

– Become An Active Member Of The Community:

  • It can be as simple as opening up the local newspaper and reading up on volunteering jobs that are currently available.
  • They may need someone to drive elderly people to the shops to help them buy groceries or maybe they need people to volunteer at a fun run.
  • You are also able to donate blood which will save lives!
  • Find a community service activity which suits your interests which will allow you to feel part of the society that is around you.


Confront Your Bad Past & Forgive Yourself

The past can follow us like a monster that is under the bed.

Everyone has a past, people make mistakes and it is a part of being human.

Mistakes provide the building blocks of self-improvement because they can be the reasons why you gain the motivation to become a better person.

We, in turn, are our own worst critic, which means we can talk so negatively towards ourselves that we can be our worst own enemy.

Maybe you have hurt a person who you have loved by not being there for them when they needed it the most, maybe you have made a choice which at the time you thought you were doing something positive but it impacted people negatively.

The thing which you have down has had a negative impact on someone’s life and you have done your best to help solve the situation.

If you feel like you have done your best and there is nothing else that you can do to make the situation better, you need to let your bad past go and begin the process of forgiving yourself.

They often say that people need to understand the bad and the good. With the knowledge that people are able to do both, it is ultimately the choice of making positive decisions and doing something which impacts your personal lifestyle for the better.

A good example of this is a locksmith who understands how to pick open a lock.

This knowledge allows the locksmith to open a door without damaging the construction.

The locksmith has the ability to open up the doors to people’s homes without their knowledge and has the option to steal their belongings.

But rather than doing something which is illegal the locksmith uses his or her ability to become an expert in their field, with the knowledge they are able to earn a living which he or she will use to build a life.

To confront your bad past, it is recommended to talk to a mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist who can talk you through the process and help you develop behaviour and coping skills which will help you learn to rebuild your life.


Do Something Every Day For Yourself

You don’t need to do something grandiose every day, like replacing your entire wardrobe or going on a fabulous holiday to the Bahamas.

Take life a day at a time and a moment at a time. Doing something every day for yourself can be as simple as:

– Taking Time To Look At The Small Things: 

  • When you are walking down the road, through the office or when you’re at home take a moment to notice something which you may often overlook.
  • For example, when we go for a walk we can take the opportunity to look at the sky, notice the colour, take note of how quick the clouds are moving and what shapes they are.
  • When you are in a park, watch the flow of the wind touching the grass or the happy face of a dog on his or her walk. Sometimes our busy lifestyles make us forget that we are often surrounded by things which can bring much more positivity into our life.

– Smile More: 

  • There is science behind why smiling impacts our mental health positively. Smiling releases natural chemicals into our brains like neuropeptides which help to relieve daily stress.
  • When we smile we receive neurotransmitters like dopamine, endorphins (a natural painkiller) and serotonin which help to lower people’s blood pressure.

– Give Yourself Some Personal Time:

  • Set aside some time each day which allows you some personal time away from people and social media.
  • You don’t have to have an agenda or a reason why you need some alone time.
  • During this time you are able to think about the things that you would like to get from your life.
  • Sometimes people enjoy taking a long shower which will allow your muscles to unwind.

– Learn New Information Or Skills: 

  • Read a book, do some educational exercises and feed your brain with a wealth of knowledge.
  • It will keep your brain active and also give you new information to talk about with people you will meet.

– Develop A Routine: 

  • Get prepared for the day ahead, plan what you would like to do and set aside what you would like to wear.
  • This way when you wake up in the morning you have your day scheduled.
  • This means you have begun your day on a positive note which will set the rest of the day with a good start.
  • Routine reduces anxiety, it builds confidence that you know what you are doing and other people know what you are doing.


Embrace Change Written In Sand


Be Open To Change

Change is inevitable, it always happens.

Trends come and go, people become wiser and more mature and there is new technology being developed on a daily basis.

If we did not have change we would not be able to work efficiently as a society and we would still have harsh laws.

– Understand That Changes Is A Naturally Occurring Process:

  •  Change happens.
  • If it weren’t for change the human race would not have made cars or invented forks, knives and spoons to use for eating.
  • Change is a part of our history and culture.

– Change Means Things Are Able To Improve: 

  • The change means that we are able to progress and advance as a human race for a better future. It provides people with the opportunity to work together as a community.

– Change Can Be Unknown:

  •  Change provides people with a new life experience.
  • Although the experience may be new at first it will feel more normal over time.

– Change Can Transform People:

  • Change can provide a new outlook towards life.
  • It can be just what they need to motivate and inspire to enhance their lifestyle choices.

– Change Can Give Your More Choices:

  •  Change may mean you have more time to do things you love or give you new ways to finish an activity.

– The Adjustment To Change Can Time Take:

  • Accepting change can take some time to process and it doesn’t always happen overnight. It might not be something you are comfortable with straight away.


Be Honest With Yourself

You should look at self-evaluation as a tool which will help you solve problems within your life.

If we cannot openly face the true reality of a situation of who we are, we are overlooking a crucial aspect of self-improvement which does not allow us the opportunity to change anything within our lifestyle.

When you think of anything which is negative you should also say to yourself, “How can I improve the things that I don’t like about myself?”

  • You should talk to yourself about how you would a close friend.


We often don’t realise that we treat ourselves and the way we self-talk to ourselves is so negative, we often don’t stop to think, would we talk to a friend like that?

  • You should ask yourself “If we wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, why are we talking to ourselves like that?” When we speak to ourselves we should talk with self-compassion and kindness.

When you are performing a self-evaluation you should begin with a small aspect of your life this way the exercise does not become too overwhelming.

If you do an overall self-evaluation you should list heading for the different topics that you would like to change and work through a topic at a time.

Do not overwhelm yourself with too many changes, you can progress as slowly as you need to.

People make progress differently to others so if you find that others progress quicker than you are, don’t be worried.

You will need to define what you would like to work towards:

  • How should you be spending your time?
  • What is your short-term goal?
  • What is your long-term goal?
  • What can you do to actively work towards these goals?

These goals will give you something which will motivate and inspire you.


What is Love?

Love is a kind of chemical reaction, so you could never tell why it happens and you could never try to stop it by your own will. Love must have existed a long time before human beings developed language.

People always want to find a definite answer about what is love, so they keep asking each other and themselves. However, there is no person who can define what love is.

Every person has his or her own understanding of love, and a single person’s understanding of love may differ by time.

Love is a general feeling of deep caring that does not change (although the form of expressing it may alter).

I do not believe that we can force ourselves to love or not to love someone. We have the capacity to love many people.

For example, you can love your children, parents, friends, and ex-spouse.


what is love


Being “in love” with someone means that you feel a deep caring, you desire them sexually, and you want to spend lots of time with them.

If you truly love them, then you may change the latter two but you will always feel the deep caring.

On the contrary, like is specific and changeable.

Have you noticed that there are things that you liked in a person before but do not any more or vice versa?

  • You can experience both loves and like simultaneously since they are different feelings.

It is important to be able to say to someone, “I love you, and I don’t like what you are doing (be specific).”

This is especially important to children so that they do not get the wrong impression when you are angry.

They need a clear message that you love them (then they can feel lovable), and you do not like their behavior (then explain why).

Also, telling your children or anyone else, “If you loved me you would ____.,” is not love. It is a way of trying to manipulate or to control them because of your fears or concerns.



I have discovered that we all want to be loved, and to love.

That is, we all desire to be deeply cared about and to care about others.

True love is unconditional.

No matter what you or another person says or does, express your love and then deal with the specific disliked behavior.

What the world needs now is lots of love which is the opposite of fear.

Accept your and others’ differences.

Take the time to love yourself and others unconditionally, spread deep caring-that is the key to loving relationships and to a loving world.

There are certain characteristics we show when we are in love.

Selfless behavior shows that you are not just thinking about yourself, but that you’re also concerned about your partners’ needs as well.

You will be concerned about your partner’s growth in life, and become more supportive and understanding, even if you feel like being critical.

You will have a desire to forgive, and realize that no one is perfect in life.

Your love grows when you are able to focus on the good things about someone.

You will see both the positive and the negative side of someone, but you will love them no matter what.

When your partner does that little thing that irritates you, it will be easier to look past it.

You will realize that it’s not worth getting angry over and causing a scene.

Love allows for anger but in a controlled manner.

Love is about being able to compromise. If emotional pain was caused you’re allowed to let your partner know when they have done wrong.

Love is about caring and showing affection and intimacy towards the other person. You will have a romantic desire towards your partner, not a lustful desire.

With a romantic desire to be intimate and affectionate towards your partner, an emotional bond will grow between the two of you. It will become stronger over time and will bring you closer together.

What Does It Feel Like To Be In Love:-


Love is built on mutual interest, care, trust, and respect.

You will have a desire to be committed to your partner in any type of situation, such as one where infidelity may be a temptation.

Or even when faced with negative comments from others about your partner.

Your commitment will allow you to be faithful and true to your partner, and you will be willing to stick up for them at all costs.

It is important to realize that love is about expecting to give, not expecting to get.

You don’t have to buy your partner something nice every day, but you can do nice things for them often. Something as simple as a romantic dinner at home.

Give them a message with candles lit around the room.

The desire to give will make you feel great about yourself, and most importantly make your partner feel great.

A relationship grows successfully when both partners commit to behaving in a loving manner, through continual and unconditional giving.

Not only saying “I love you” but also showing it.

We experience love as a feeling, and express it as an action.

The thing that ultimately maintains our love and happiness in life is the energy that we get from inside ourselves.

Deep inside us is a wellspring of energy that is very strong in some people but very weak in others. Without that wellspring of energy, you may find it hard to continue on in the face of many problems and challenges in your life.

You may get discouraged or hurt very easily and find that you no longer feel the same way about your loved one that you initially felt.

Your first impulses of love may fade and your happiness may begin to wane.



A lot of things can aggravate the negative feelings that we have inside ourselves and we may think that the person we love is “no longer the same” or “doesn’t care about us anymore”.

You may begin to feel that everything is hopeless and fail to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Something has gone wrong and you don’t know what it is.

The problem that has befallen you is that you never found that wellspring inside of yourself but wrongly imagined it to be coming from someone else.

You were happy for a while but you didn’t really know why.

Those feelings of love and happiness weren’t coming from the other person!

You thought they were but, actually, they were coming from inside of you!

It’s true!

They were coming from inside of you!

Once that person begins to appear commonplace and boring, the feeling you had begins to fade.

You no longer feel the great feelings of love that were actually coming from inside of you to start with.

You decided to turn them off. Instead, you covered them up again and all you felt was a sense of darkness.

Real happiness comes from a heart that is so filled with genuine love that nothing on the outside can really affect it in any lasting way.

There are rare people who have practiced many techniques and teachings and learned to overcome their fears and their negative emotions to find a wellspring of energy inside them which is the real place that love and happiness come from.

If you are feeling discouraged or in need of an answer, look inside yourself for that wellspring and learn to face your fears and your challenges each day so that, over time, you will overcome the many problems that face you each and that face each and every one of us in life.

Life is a long road with many challenges and the winners learn to lift up their heads and go on even in the hardest of times.

Love and happiness are what make this world worthwhile, so let’s keep our head up and learn to be the person in charge of our own destiny.

We are truly the ones who are in charge and we can make it an award-winning movie that everyone will pay to see!


Falling In Love



Two people who genuinely love each other may fall in love because of the burning desire and passion to be with each other or to live close to each other.

Finding love is a tricky sentiment.

There are some things that feel like love, but they are too much exterior to be the real thing. “Real love takes time and doesn’t take place overnight”.

Love is never logical or easy. People fall under the spell of love for many reasons.

Opposites can attract, and while it may seem unusual to the outside world, you can be completely wrapped up and oblivious.

When you find love it can make anything seem potential and possible to do.

Deep within us, there seems an emptiness that not even a hundred lovers could fill, yet there still is an expectation. Your dreams can come true.

True love is so precious and valuable that it is said, “True love is not something that comes every day, follow your heart, it knows the right answer”.

True love can take time to grow, or it can evolve in the pair’s first encounter.

When 2 hearts gather for the first time a lot of magical things can happen.

There are stories of an eye-to-eye spark, this is when you are overcome with excitement by just looking at someone across a room, and this also can evolve into true love.

There are two kinds of sparks, the one that goes off with a hitch like a match, but it burns quickly.

The other is the kind that needs time, but when the flame strikes… it’s eternal, don’t forget that.

After first sight, the two people will ultimately have to talk to each other.

If you don’t feel that certain spark it’s probably not meant to be.

Most couples who have spent a significant amount of time building their relationship with each other eventually fall in love. It’s a natural evolution of their bond.

But, it’s also an indefinable stage that is often difficult to identify. Millions have asked themselves, “Am I in love with my partner?”

  • Some are confused by what that means.
  • Others misinterpret harmful emotions (for example, jealousy and obsession) as love.


Understanding The True Nature Of Love:-

Often it’s easier to define love based upon what it isn’t.

A lot of people mistakenly think that certain emotions they’re feeling represent love. For example, lust is commonly thought to signify something more than it is.

Or, one partner may be so passionate about the other than physical or emotional abuse occurs in the relationship. Neither instance signifies love.

When you love somebody, the feeling transcends the physical.

You feel attached to the other person in a way that you don’t feel with others.

The level of physical and emotional commitment is greater than with anyone else.

And while love translates into intimacy, the willing vulnerability to which you expose yourself to your partner dwarfs that which you experience in all other relationships.


Trust Grows:-

While love can encompass a myriad of qualities, mutual trust is one of the most important.

And it expands much further than simply trusting that your partner won’t cheat physically. In this context, it means that you trust your partner implicitly.

You trust that he or she will not betray you or the relationship on a physical or emotional level.

As your love grows, so too does your level of trust.

Eventually, that trust reaches the point at which you’re unable to even conceive of your partner betraying you.


Intimacy Issues:-


intemacy issues

Intimacy issues plague many couples.

But, it’s important to understand what true intimacy is.

And it’s equally important to realize that issues surrounding it don’t necessarily preclude love.

For many couples, a lack of physical intimacy may be a problem, though they love and trust each other implicitly.

  • Issues involving emotional intimacy are often more severe.

For example, an emotional disconnection can be a warning sign that love is waning.

  • A lack of communication may also represent deeper issues.


Signs That You’re In Love:-

So, how do you know when you’re in love? Unfortunately, it’s often hard to tell because it involves two people so deeply on various physical and emotional levels.

That said, there are signs. For example, if your partner is late, your initial reaction may be a concern for their safety.

Or, you may begin to miss them horribly when they’re away.

Also, small things may constantly remind you of your partner.


Enjoying Your Partner:-

A true manifestation of love is found in the level of commitment, trust, physical and emotional intimacy, and mutual attachment that you enjoy with your partner.

It’s a confluence of several factors and any one factor does not, in and of itself, represent love.

Some claim that loving your partner is more than mere emotion.

It is, in effect, a choice that you make.

And that choice helps to sustain the relationship during times when any one of the above factors falters.

In the end, falling in love is about enjoying your partner on a level that no other person can hope to experience.

It’s about being vulnerable, yet trusting.

It’s about sharing yourself physically and emotionally, knowing that the commitment will be reciprocated. Falling in love is a natural progression toward a lifetime with your partner.

Behind Sex Pheromones – Mens Health

How Do Pheromones Help My Sex Life

The theory is that humans don’t actually have a lot of choices when it comes to sexual partners and that we are driven by chemicals, and hormones and the power of smell.

It’s been documented across the animal kingdom that a variety of animals and insects use the power of pheromones and chemicals to communicate with each other.


Couple Laying Down Staring Deeply Into Each Others Eyes With Love


Recent studies by Swedish scientists have concluded, through the use of brain imaging, that humans can also communicate through the power of smell.

Similarly to the way that people will subtly communicate visually through the expression of clothes, the indication of arousal through wearing sexy lingerie or outfits.

Further, men and women respond to certain smells in very different ways.

It’s long been debated as to whether humans subconsciously communicate with each other through the power of scent, and one of the strongest pieces of evidence thus far was concluded in 1998 with Martha McClintock where it was concluded that the menstrual cycles of women living together would synchronise as a result of the chemical messages that were being released by the body in the form of sweat.

Pheromone Sprays in nature are simply chemicals secreted by an animal with its main effects being the attraction of the opposite sex. Pheromones are also used to communicate messages between animals throughout the natural world, and including within plants.

The word itself has been derived from the Greek word and it means ‘to bear’.

They are an excreted or a secreted chemical meant to trigger a social response especially in members of the similar species.

Pheromone contains chemicals which act outside secreting individual’s body to affect the behaviour or physiology of the receiving personality.



Naturally, Pheromones are very volatile and odorous substances released by one animal and subsequently detected by another, causing some kind of physiological reaction.

Science has now developed laboratory produced Pheromone Spray’s whose reaction is affected by sexual activity, arousal and behaviour.

Though, it can also affect the level of aggression besides other diverse effects on the target animal or human being. Have you ever noticed that when you first start a new relationship that more people are hitting on you?


Easy Way To Increase Attractiveness | Sexy Colognes To Get You Laid

Pheromones sprays are marketed and synthesized to consumers as mixtures to increase sexual attractiveness.

Primarily, Pheromones are perceived through vomeronasal organ situated within the nose and research studies propose that they are excreted from several parts of the body, including the sweat glands, urine and saliva.

Pheromones are connected to a number of crucial stages in human lives ranging from breastfeeding to mate choice.

Research shows that breastfed newborns have the ability to distinguish between a breast pad worn by a stranger and one worn mother.


The Outcomes Of Wearing Pheromones:

Wearing Pheromones ensures powerful catalysts of sexual attraction.

As individuals secrete the chemicals by perspiration, they, in turn, get detected subconsciously by the brain, nose and nervous system.

In this case, about 10 % of men give off major amounts of sex appeal. Hence these men might not even look sexy, but through pheromone release, they send out powerful attraction signals.

Have you ever noticed a particular cologne worn by an ex and everyone that wears that cologne you instantly find somewhat arousing?

  • The cologne that even in a crowded room you can smell and it gets your heart racing, make you feel a little more passionate than usual, maybe a little flushed and flustered;
  • many colognes use types of pheromones and when you combine that with the emotions that you had for an ex they make a powerful combination.
  • This is how pheromones can work.

Males release pheromones throughout their hair and skin and both males and females excrete trace quantities of it via their urine.

Males excrete up to four and above times as much as women do.

This particular pheromone, produced by the adrenal glands of the two sexes is also found in sweat under their armpits. Besides, it is also present in and secreted by the sebaceous glands of the vagina and penis.

Studies also found that females secrete at least one other attracting pheromone from their vagina with the presence of copulin (pheromone present in these fluids) and that the appearance of these chemicals correlates with hormonal variations matching the changes in the female menstrual cycle.


Couple In New Relationship Produces Higher Levels Of Pheromones Making Them More Attractive To Other People


The Establishment Of New And Intimate Relationships

The study of the science of smell research is Osmology; it has determined that both men and women are mutually attracted to each other through selective chemical couriers called pheromones.

The pheromones stimulate sexual readiness, sexual desire, fertility, hormone levels and the deepest emotions.

Though it’s not just limited to the young or the heterosexual. Studies have shown that pheromones can help mature gay men on the dating scene and find love and long-lasting relationships.

These studies confirmed that pheromones are commonly used by several in the perfume industry.

Even though companies claim to use the compounds simply as a carrier of the fragrance but the added pheromones are likely to have the secretly seductive ingredient.

However, the issue is that some of these companies will use pheromones from animals, which may or not cause attraction in humans.

Because perfumes are basically marketed based upon their aptitude to appeal to the opposite sex, the pheromone sprays and perfumes combination make them perfect scents.


The Benefits Of Using Sex Pheromones And Sprays

What to expect when you use pheromones products. Using pheromones have reported a broad range of benefits;

  • A heightened state of ease and relaxation especially in social situations.
  • Enhanced confidence and working relationships.
  • More romantic relationships and the frequency of sexual intercourse.
  • Feeling happier and more attractive.
  • Less anxiety and Empowered.
  • Revved-up sex life and added frequency of dates.
  • Increased well-being sense.
  • Increased frequency of affectionate gestures.
  • Increases frequency of foreplay and more romantic partners.

Raised mood: 

  • Studies showed that both males and females who portray themselves as depressed testify an overall sense of positivity, well-being and energy, on wearing pheromones and that the therapeutic advantages of using human pheromones are now under clinical trials of their use to go further to alleviate mood disorders and panic attacks.

Increased working relationships: 

  • A reporter explores human pheromones tried them to personally see for himself the end results. Later he realized that he was making more eye contact with people of opposite sex and sending a message of confidence.

Sexual attractiveness:

  • In a study test on human pheromones, about 20 women obtained topically applied pheromones approximately three times a week.
  • The females receiving the pheromones show a significantly higher rate of sexual contact with males than a different control group.
  • The same study conducted with males had the same results, additional sexual contact with females than the males who applied the placebo spray.


Precautions And Safety

Pheromones sprays are usually considered safe and without no known side effects; nevertheless, they may cause biased unwanted effects.

For instance, the use of a pheromone formula might bring in the attraction of undesirable associates of the opposite sex.

Thus, careful and calculated use of the compounds should be exercised at all times.  However, it is also important to remember that not all commercially accessible formulations of pheromones products are equal!

Unluckily, the unprecedented attention in pheromones has spawned the industry of unscrupulous pheromone sellers with their worthless pheromone products to unsuspecting clients.

Whereby, a number of these companies still create fake product appraisal sites, written testimonials and videos. So don’t be tricked!


Man Spraying On Pheromones On His Bodies Warm Spots The Neck Behind The Ears And Wrists


Dosage And Timing

Common Perfumes may or may not have pheromones contents (since vendors are not needed to list them on the product tag).

Therefore, early applications may be tested in little dosages of 1 or 2 quick sprays. When pheromones are bought separately, they can be inserted to a favourite perfume or cologne in quantity recommended by the manufacturer.

Therefore, to heighten the sexual experience passion, pheromones may be applied strategically in erogenous zones just a moment before the encounter.

Also, they may be used to build up to sex, in which case they should be applied one hour or two beforehand and in case the desired effect is not observed, the amount can be amplified in small increments.

The scent of attraction is very factual and human pheromones spray play a powerful role.

For whoever wants to boost confidence and increase attractiveness to the opposite sex, human pheromones may be just what one is looking for.

Pheromones sprays have been demonstrated in a large number of organisms ranging from fish to mammals to amoebas, including primates.

However, the issue of whether human being olfactory signals exist has been in question with much debate. Whether or not pheromones work, one thing can be certain is they’ll definitely increase your confidence.

A Woman’s Heart is a Deep Ocean of Secrets…

So many men think women want money, cars and gifts.

But the right women wants a man’s time, effort, passion, honesty, loyalty, smile, and him choosing to put her as a Priority that is “Hell Sexy”, beautifully honest, tear jerking friggin simply sexy as fck


A reflection of ones life….

This is how each other should look at one another….. this song is me… right down to the damn friggin ground… I love how raw it is and how raw they both are… simply beautifully honest!!!  ……. simply raw, simply human…

I think your beautiful… just be you….. wow, that is simply honest, truth, beautiful….



This song……. is mine….


I havent thought about this for a very long time in fact so long I can’t even remember who it was, but I do remember how and where I was when it hurt like someone had ripped out my beating heart and made it worth nothing but, their ego, something that was worthless and it was something I was never going to use again…


Funny that paragraph above I think us women those who really feel deeply we think we wont feel again but, for some reason it’s not part of our DNA.

So, we do a few things in life I guess we watch like a hawk, we pace ourselves to look around we tend to lightly tip toe before our feelings again are hindered.


I am Confident because I can admit who I am, what Ive done, and love myself for who Ive become.

Because each time we break something leaves our spirit and without our knowledge we do tend to be a little numb around those because heart throbbing moments when your mind, soul and heart leads before you even know what hit you!

So, the question is my beautiful bloggers how many times did my heart really break?1521830997_life-quotes-inspiration-30-inspirational-quotes-for-the-women-who-are-strong-at-heart-trend-to-wear.jpg

Hmmm, well, my secret, my deeply covered moments that we all have but for me it was like my stomach had done a flip and my head was a little giddy and it scared the shit out of me…..

This occurred to me a few times in my later years…. after 28 years old, so what did I do, I was too busy trying to be a mum, trying to stop ferral men bitting my ass cuz, their 6 pack was their trophies…

I had no time to stop and smell the roses so to be honest – I have no idea all I know I did feel moments, however, I could not allow it to destroy me!


Because, just because…..of many reasons… 383f4aaba84ed577a940d05606c656ed--inspring-quotes-confident-woman.jpg

I believe in strength of living, loving, sharing moments, my heart feels, loves, beats, we are all only human this is the beauty of being a women..

Never play with a womens heart, once broken it will destroy her soul… it isn’t a game of popularity, it isnt a game that anyone wins… hearts and souls are not toy’s they are parts of your body that makes you whole…

I am the type of person that will sit in the bathroom and cry, but, then walk out like nothing ever happened..

Never Play with a Womens Heart…

“Never play with Feelings of others, because you may win the game but, you’ll surely lose the person forever…”

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Longing for Change…

Beautiful Lyrics… absolutely lovely…. Gaga’s New Movie Debut…

Wow, very amazing I cannot wait to see this Movie…

Wish I could, I could’ve said goodbye
I would’ve said what I wanted to
Maybe even cried for you
If I knew, it would be the last time
I would’ve broke my heart in two
Tryin’ to save a part of you

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna to give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh

When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I’d find myself
Lying in your arms
And I want to pretend that it’s not true
Oh baby, that you’re gone
‘Cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning
And I’m not moving on

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love

I don’t wanna know this feeling
Unless it’s you and me
I don’t wanna waste a moment, ooh
And I don’t wanna give somebody else the better part of me
I would rather wait for you, ooh

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
Baby, I’ll just stay on your lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
Oh, I’ll never love again

Love again
Oh, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
I won’t, I won’t, I swear I can’t
I wish I could but i just won’t
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh


[Verse 1: Bradley Cooper]
Tell me somethin’ girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

[Refrain: Bradley Cooper]
I’m fallin’
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Verse 2: Lady Gaga]
Tell me something boy
Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?
Or do you need more
Ain’t it hard keepin’ it so hardcore?

[Refrain: Lady Gaga]
I’m falling
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Chorus: Lady Gaga]
I’m off the deep end
Watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface
Where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now


People who failed, yet did NOT give UP… Go figure!

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill


Here’s a list of 11 famous people who failed before they succeeded – these were people who didn’t give up in the face of their struggles.

They’re people that persevered.

They pushed through their present-day limitations, had breakthroughs, and whose names have become synonymous with success in their respective fields of study and work.


#1 – Jim Carrey

We all know Jim Carrey as a laugh-out-loud zany comic who’s brought us some of the highest-grossing comedies of all time such as The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura. But, we don’t all know the story of Carrey’s struggle. He grew up in a lower-income family with a father who struggled to keep jobs. They were so poor that he had to drop out of high school at the age of 15 and get a job as a janitor just to help support the family.Jim-Carrey1.jpg

On his first comic stand-up at a club called Yuk Yuk’s in Toronto, he was booed off stage. Later, when he auditioned for Saturday Night Live for the 1980-81 season, he failed to land the part.

However, we all know about Carrey’s later success. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Carrey talks about how he used the Law of Attraction by writing himself a check for $10,000,000 million dollars for “Acting Services Rendered,” later placing the check in his wallet for 7 years until he received a $10,000,000 million dollar payment for his work in Dumb and Dumber.


#2 – Katy Perry

Katy Perry

Most people know the name Katy Perry, but they don’t the struggles that she went through to finally get that breakthrough she was after. Perry started her career early in her life, dropping out of high school after freshman year in 1999 to pursue singing. Originally, she was a gospel singer, taking cues from her parents who were Born Again Christians.

In 2001 Katy Perry released her first gospel album with Red Hill Records, which was commercially unsuccessful. After selling only 200 copies of her album, the record company ceased operations and subsequently went out of business. Afterward, Perry switched gears to popular music, moving to Los Angeles to record with producer Glen Ballard.

In 2003 she was signed to Island Def Jam, which was also a contract that was terminated. In 2004 she signed with Columbia Records who sought to make her the lead vocalist in a band called The Matrix. However, that deal also fell through when Columbia Records shelved the project at about 80% completion.

After being dropped from three labels, you would think that Perry would have given up. She didn’t. She continued to pursue her career, working odd jobs and doing back-up vocals until she was signed to the newly-formed Capitol Music Group in 2006. It was there that she worked on her first huge hit single, I Kissed a Girl, which started her career as a commercial success.


#3 – Oprah Winfrey

Oprah had a rocky start in life. As the daughter of a teenaged low-income mother, her start was anything but glamorous. In her early years, Oprah recounts that not only were her living conditions rough, but she was always sexually abused, starting at the age of 9, by her cousin, uncle, and a family friend. At the age of 14 Oprah got pregnant, but her son died shortly after birth.235054-Failure-Is-A-Great-Teacher.jpg

However, at the age of 14, Oprah was sent to live with her father, Vernon, in Tennessee. He helped her focus on her schooling, and she was subsequently accepted on a full scholarship to Tennessee State University, majoring in communications. In high school, and in her first two years of college, Winfrey interned at a local radio station, helping to develop a foundation for a career in media.

But, even after Oprah was hired on to a local television station for the news, things didn’t go so easily. She was fired by the producer because she “unfit for television,” later taking a position with another station in Baltimore. Eventually, she hosted a local talk show named, People are Talking.

Later, in 1983, Winfrey re-located to Chicago, to host a station’s low-rated talk show called AM Chicago. Within a few months, the show went from last in the ratings, to higher than Donahue, which was the number one show at the time. This led to the show being renamed The Oprah Winfrey Show, which was syndicated across the country.


#4 – Jay-Z


From an early age, Jay-Z had a knack for rhythm. But his meteoric rise to stardom didn’t happen overnight. He was faced with several roadblocks along the path to ultimate success. For example, in 1995 when Jay-Z tried tirelessly to strike a record deal, not a single label would sign him. It led him to establishing his own record company called Roc-a-fella Records with partners Damon Dash and Kareem Biggs.

After being turned down by so many labels, and eventually starting up his own record company, Jay-Z worked tirelessly to strike a distribution deal for his first album’s release. Eventually, he successfully negotiated a contract with Priority, later releasing his debut album entitled, Reasonable Doubt, which would eventually go on to hit platinum.

Jay-Z met with many failures along the road. Those failures weren’t just in the beginning of his career, but the beginning does highlight the tremendous amount of resistance he faced to achieve success. And, even at the prime of his career, Jay-Z was charged with allegedly stabbing someone at a record release party. He was tried, pleading not guilty, but later pleaded to a lesser criminal misdemeanor, resulting in three years of probation.

Considering that Jay-Z’s roots stemmed from the housing projects of Brooklyn, NY, and grew up in extreme poverty, he faced many failures and roadblocks in his life. But he never gave up. No matter what happened to him, no matter what failures he faced, he pushed through, growing as a person, and maturing to become a better individual.


#5 – J.K. Rowling

download (19).jpgRowling is one of the most inspirational success stories of our time. Many people simply know her as the woman who created Harry Potter. But, what most people don’t know is what she went through prior to reaching stardom. Rowling’s life was not peaches and cream. She struggled tremendously.

In 1990, Rowling first had the idea for Harry Potter. She stated that the idea came “fully formed” into her mind one day while she was on a train from Manchester to London. She began writing furiously. However, later that year, her mother died after 10 years of complications from Multiple Sclerosis.

In 1992 she moved to Portugal to teach English where she met a man, married, and had a daughter. In 1993, her marriage ended in divorce and she moved to Edinburgh, Scotland to be closer to her sister. At that time, she had three chapters of Harry Potter in her suitcase.

Rowling saw herself as a failure at this time. She was jobless, divorced, penniless, and with a dependent child. She suffered through bouts of depression, eventually signing up for government-assisted welfare. It was a difficult time in her life, but she pushed through the failures.

In 1995 all 12 major publishers rejected the Harry Potter script. But, it was a year later when a small publishing house, Bloomsbury, accepted it and extended a very small £1500 advance.  In 1997, the book was published with only 1000 copies, 500 of which were distributed to libraries.

In 1997 and 1998, the book won awards from Nestle Smarties Book Prize and the British Book Award for Children’s Book of the Year. After that, it was one wild ride for Rowling. Today, Rowling has sold more than 400 million copies of her books, and is considered to be the most successful woman author in the United Kingdom.


#6 – Stephen Kingimages (37)

Stephen King is famous for many critically-acclaimed novels, most of which have been made into movies. However, Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie, was rejected 30 times before it was published.

Not only that, but King actually threw the manuscript into the garbage, only later to be retrieved by his wife who wildly believed in his dream of becoming a published author.

Yet, King’s earlier years were also nothing to rave about. As a child, his family barely made ends meet, and in his later years as an English teacher, he supplemented his income by selling short stories to magazines.

Today, King has over 50 novels and has sold over 350 million copies of his work. Can you imagine what King’s life would be like had he given up? It’s difficult to imagine that such a successful author was once rejected so many times.

In his earlier years, King talks about submitting short stories to magazines beginning at the age of 16, and hanging the rejection slips on a nail until the slips were so heavy he had to change the nail to a spike.

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#7 – Bill Gates

Before Microsoft was born, Bill Gates suffered failure in business. Known today to be one of the wealthiest men in the world, Bill Gates’s upper middle-class family is a stark contrast from some of the other successful failures out there that didn’t have well-off parents.

However, Bill Gates didn’t rely on his family. His business acumen was second to none. But his first business was indeed a failure. Traf-O-Data was a partnership between Gates, Paul Gilbert, and Paul Allen. The goal of the business was to create reports for roadway engineers from raw traffic data.

The company did achieve a little bit of success by processing the raw traffic data to generate some income. But the machine that they had built to process the data flopped when they tried to present it to a Seattle County traffic employee. Yet, this business helped to set Gates and his partner Paul Allen up for major success with Microsoft.

Although Gates failed at his first business, it didn’t discourage him from trying again. He didn’t want to give up because the sheer notion of business intrigued him. He was cleverly able to put together a company that revolutionized the personal computing marketplace. And we all know just how successful that was for him.


#8 – Henry Fordimages (39).jpg

Many people know Henry Ford for the Ford Motor Company, one of the most successful automotive companies of all time. However, what they don’t know is that Ford failed two times before that abruptly resulted in bankruptcies, prior to successfully launching the present incarnation of his company.

Ford is no stranger to failure, but he also didn’t give up. Yet, when we think about Ford, we don’t picture the failures because all it took was just succeeding one time. However, in 1899, at the age of 36 years old, Ford formed his first company, the Detroit Automobile Company with backing from the famed lumber baron, William H. Murphy. That company went bankrupt.

His second attempt was in 1901, when he formed the Henry Ford Company, which he ended up leaving with the rights to his name. That company was later renamed to the Cadillac Automobile Company. However, it was Ford’s third try, with the Ford Motor Company, that hit the proverbial nail on the head.

After that, we all know the story. Ford revolutionized the automobile industry, pioneering not only the Model T and the assembly line, but also the concept and notion of an automobile in every home. Driving became a “thing,” and subsequently, Ford’s Model T went on to sell over 17 million units.


Colonel-Sanders-Story-KFC-Never-Give-Up.jpg#9 – Colonel Sanders

bow tie. Colonel Sanders was the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). Yet, the zany Sanders got off to a rocky start in life. In fact, it wasn’t until the age of 62 that he set out with a $105 social security check in hand to pitch his chicken recipe to restaurants. 1,009 folks told him he was crazy, but he didn’t give up.

Sanders worked many jobs including fireman, tire salesman, insurance salesman, and of course, a cook. He brewed up his secret chicken recipe between 1939-1940 when he figured out how to pressure fry the chicken in a faster and more consistent product all the time. He was at the age of 50 when that happened.

However, it wasn’t until 1952 that he hit the road and began trying to sell his franchise-model chicken restaurant. The first restaurant that he landed was based out of Salt Lake City, Utah, which became the first Kentucky Fried Chicken. The restaurant tripled its sales within a year where 75% of that revenue was from the colonel’s chicken.

The company grew and expanded faster than he could have ever imagined. In 1964, at the age of 74 years old, Sanders sold the company for $2 million dollars to a group of investors led by Jack C. Massey and John Y. Brown Jr. He retained the rights to the Canadian franchises and stayed on as a salaried goodwill ambassador to the company.

However, this just goes to show you that it doesn’t matter how old you are or just how much money you have to your name in order to accomplish something great.


#10 – Thomas Edisondownload (20).jpg

We’ve all heard the name before. This famous American is attributed with failing over 10,000 times to invent a commercially viable electric lightbulb, but he didn’t give up. When asked by a newspaper reporter if he felt like a failure and if he should give up, after having gone through over 9,000 failed attempts, Edison simply stated “Why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitely over 9,000 ways an electric lightbulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.”

This is also the same person whose teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything,” and fired from his first two employment positions for not being productive enough. However, Edison, through his failures, is also the greatest innovator of all time with 1,093 US patents to his name, along with several others in the UK, and Canada. This is someone who refused to ever give up no matter what.

It’s said that in his early days, he attributed his success to his mother, who pulled him out of school and began to teach him herself. It’s because of his mother, and how wholeheartedly she believed in him, that he didn’t want to disappoint her. His early fascination for chemical experiments and mechanical engineering paved the way for a future that was incredible bright. His company, GE, is still one of the largest publicly-traded firms in the world, continually innovating across virtually every spectrum.




The man who has affected generations to come with his cartoon creations, was once considered a failure. Disney was fired by the editor in 1919 from his job at the Kansas City Star paper because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” However, the man who brought us Mickey Mouse and a slew of other characters didn’t stop failing there.

Disney’s first go at business landed in bankruptcy when he acquired an animation studio by the name of Laugh-O-Gram. The company was acquired because, at the time, Disney’s cartoon creations had gained popularity in the Kansas City area. But, when he hired on salaried employees, he was unable to manage money and the business wound up heavily in debt. Subsequently, he filed for bankruptcy and moved to Hollywood, California.

The early failures in Disney’s life didn’t dissuade him from moving forward. Of course, like anyone else, Disney’s failures were a blow to the ego. Anyone that has to suffer through the torment of failure and bankruptcy knows how this feels. However, it also laid the foundation for a successful career. When he formed the Walt Disney Company, all of his past failures helped to pave the way for a successful business.

Disney and the Walt Disney Company have touched the lives of millions across the globe. From cartoons, to theme parks, and animated movies, both children and adults now enjoy the fruits of Disney’s labor. Had he given up, things would have been far different. But he persevered, even through bankruptcy.


Beautiful Quotes….

I have borrowed these from a great Blogger link below to the person who inspired most of these quotes…life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc


“Never ruin someone’s life with a lie, when your world can be destroyed with the truth.”

Tell them…

“If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are broken by the words unspoken.” 

Enjoying sex…

“Enjoying sex doesn’t make you a whore, just like being a virgin doesn’t make you saint.” 

A good man…

“Allow a good man to ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.” 

Sex and Marriage12ba5c1805debdfd1dbfa06d77882a0d.jpg

“God created sex. Priests created marriage.”
– Voltaire

Lay me down…

Lay me down,
get ready to play,
clear your calendar,
to make love all day.

Start with kisses,
touch me low,
caress me tight,
as we take it slow.

Cat fight


“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.” – Abraham Lincoln6dd056fa77d441b87e2deffa867f35ef.jpg

Master Your Passions




“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” – Lord Tennyson Alfred

A Sex Worker’s Roadmap to Fighting Seasonal Depression

Lola Divina, is my new Idol, born in 1968, she was born to a middle-class nuclear Family in European descent (like me) Although she has not worked in the industry (sort of like me – however, I have done Sex calls when I was a struggling mum)

Lola describes herself as a bi/queer/transpire/cis-blurry female-identified sex worker, although that really doesn’t explain the half of it.

Her description of herself is to me refreshing because for some reason I have also been very fascinated with the marcarb, the different, something out of the box that people have a tough time thinking about daily.

So, I guess her and I are one in a way she describes herself like I would tell a story and how refreshing is it to see a women who is the same age as I am who is actually interested in areas that most people “would not go near”.

I praise you Lola, for your guts and glory attitude to being a brave women because people are so critical about talking about sex and many other areas of sex and I find that a women in this industry I take my hat off to them for their brave attitude and even the path each girl walked to be in such a torrid, critical, sexually transgenic (made that up) industry like the “Sex industry”.

So, here is her link and I must say I will be watching this lady down to a tea to see if I can do the same as her… I bow down to anyone that has the guts to take it on.. because that is exactly what I will be doing…

Much respect and love to you, Franny xxx

LoLa Divinadownload (16).jpg

In any season this is a sensitive time for most people, and sex workers bear the added weight of a reduced income and clientele stream. Many adult content customers will be exhausted, financially and otherwise, by family and holiday obligations. Others, under the increased pressure of social norms, may decide to stop seeing sex workers altogether. It is no secret that a portion of sex industry patrons are working out unhappiness in their lives through sexual diversion and the new year is often a time of reflection and lifestyle changes. The three-month string of financially draining holidays drags on until tax payments are due thus making winter a particularly difficult time for sex workers, who do not often have a fixed income or are working essentially off tips and gigs.

Self-employed sex industry success is reliant on very emotionally-intensive work that can be taxing on your mind and body. No artist is complete without their tools so here is a comprehensive guide to fulfilling mental health needs for a sex worker.


Healthy Physical Environment


Build the best possible foundation for your body and mind to be at their best.


Loosely following the kaizen principle, do something for a small amount of time each day and you will eventually notice yourself spending more time in your new positive habits. Being physically rested, fit, and ready to meet life head on every day will set up a good foundation for your emotional resilience during trying times. Stick to these guidelines to make the most of your winter months without sacrificing fitness.


  • sex worker fighting seasonal depressionPhysical fitness – DO IT. It is the key to so much mental well-being, both from direct exercise and from feeling yourself in your best and most capable body. Make a pact with yourself that no matter what else may go tits up during winter time, you’ll dedicate at least 30 minutes each day to exercise whether it is living room yoga and squats, or a full-on gym experience – DO IT.


  • Physically pump yourself up! Take a hot shower. Put on some upbeat music. Practice meditative breathing. Refocusing your mind on positive calm can do wonders for chasing away anxiety and getting you out of a slump.


  • Empower yourself. Use the ultimate lifehack of power poses. Repeat positive self-affirmations out loud to train positive feedback loops in your thoughts. From Jim Carrey and Arnold Schwarzenegger to Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga, successful people use mental tools and hacks to empower themselves.


  • Get some fresh air. Even if you just go for a short walk – fresh air and sunshine are depression’s mortal enemies. Lowered vitamin D from lack of sunshine is a very central cause for poor mental health.(If sunshine is scarce where you live, a quality therapy light and some vitamin D supplementscan help a lot. Links are to the products Cat uses and personally recommends. If you suffer from persistent depression, please consult with a doctor.) 


Healthy Mental Environment


Just as important as physical fitness, your mental environment impacts how you feel and what you are capable of achieving.


Modern age sex worker types can, and often do, share some mental and lifestyle traits in common. Many are self-employed in some capacity, or at least rely primarily on themselves to achieve their goals, while many of us also share in suffering from the industry-wide discrimination when interacting with the world at large.  A lot of us work from the comfort of our own homes, which can be a double-edged sword resulting in increased isolation and lack of motivation to pursue our dreams. Two major themes that come up as a result of that, and can complicate mental health, are Introversion and Isolation. Here are some tips to combat these twin harpies of depression.




When we start getting affected by depression, the desire to withdraw becomes strong. However, our job and forward momentum often depend on being in front of people and able to advertise our services. To get around this road bump, get in front of people’s eyeballs in whatever manner you can during the winter months. It may feel counter-intuitive but you must keep up appearances in whatever capacity you can!


  • Maintain a regular schedule. Make sure to allocate a specific amount of time each day for taking calls, camming, or otherwise engaging with your audience and fill the rest of your time with other activities.


  • sex worker fighting seasonal depressionDon’t make the mistake of waiting by the phone all day or loitering around an empty venue. Pick your times – cut it down if you have to as long as you maintain consistency – and put on your best show during your designated work time. This will help you feel like you gave it your all without giving away too much of your emotional strength reserves; both reserving strength while feeling like you’ve done what you could, is beneficial when you don’t feel your best.




It can be difficult to find a compassionate person to talk and vent with while in the adult industry. You often can’t talk to clients – they frequently come to sex workers as an escape from their own problems and we must always put our best foot forward lest the fantasy they are paying for get shattered. We also can’t often talk to family – or most friends – without them blaming sex work as the cause for emotional difficulties while they constantly talk your ear off about the terrible stress of their job.


  • Online communities are great for providing support but it is also crucial to go out into the world and spend time with people. Think of an outside hobby that you truly enjoy, or an activity that you wish to learn. Taking a class for fun can be a comfortable structured environment that removes any burden of initiation. Anything that inspires you, really, because the goal is to be connected with a community. Any community of like-minded individuals that you can bond with over something that enriches your collective lives.


  • Exercise is always a great option, like dance or even hiking meetups, or you can do volunteer outreach in needy neighborhoods. Maintain world connections unrelated to your sex work; something you can do to take your mind off and help you recharge.


  • There are even lots of little groups and meet-ups with specialty interests you can bond with on a different “our thing” sort of level. Whether its board games, book clubs, or fantasy football, everyone has their own little groups of fellow “weirdos” they can socialize with under no expectation other than enjoying some of the same things.


Healthy Community Environment


You are what you do, what you think, and who you admire. You are what you consume!


Finally, the best and most creative kind of work comes from a calm and empowered mind. When your mind is focused on believing in those who believe in you, it doesn’t have time for negativity. Trying to not do or think negative things is just a double negative. Instead occupy yourself with positive people and positive things. Look forward to your ability to appreciate the small things of life in a big way and soon you will have a strong new happiness habit!


  • Strive to keep your environment clean, both physically and mentally. Be aware that listening to those who constantly express dissatisfaction will make you dissatisfied with life too. We are social creatures so just “managing our own mind” is like deciding we can just go on a diet while living in a donut store: It sounds great on paper but is ultimately unrealistic.


  • Find what social media may be your depressive triggerThen work out your own Social Media mission statement, like Conner Habib.


  • Support from those who intimately understand what you are struggling with is invaluable.Find people invested in sex worker mental health and follow the crap out of them on social media!
    • Bonus! Recent thread from Lee Roy Myers of WoodRocket naming some specific individuals as good industry resources on social media.


  • Good long-form resource is Jiz Lee’s book store. If you liked “Coping With Showing Your Junk For a Living: Privacy Issue” then you’ll love “Coming Out Like a Pornstar” because it was published in there! It’s a great book all around, full of personal performer stories of overcoming social and interpersonal stigma.
    • Bonus! This bookstore also carries Lola Davina‘s “Thriving in Sex Work” which is your new must-have wellness bible.


Emotional Journey … if I can do it.. so can you?

I wonder often if we ever really live our lives fully?

I often think if we did what we should do or feel would it be easier?

I think the main problem with us as people we tend to over think or perhaps overreact with our emotions and we end up doing the opposite end of what we should be doing with ourselves.

We should act on what we do and be more present with those that we care about however, sometimes feeling something and doing it is just what we should be doing.

I know I am sounding like this “Delhi lambi”, spelt wrong I know, that is exactly what we are acting like fools and doing things opposite end of what we desire to do..  🙂

For example:

Our emotions and our true selves are one are we that scared of rejection that we don’t do what we should do?  Or are we just inept of love, desire, lust, excitement, endorsement, a soul lost in a bowl of Heinz soup with many ABCD and even E’s from our alphabet soup that we loved to eat as kidz!

Strange isnt it!
Or really is it?

I cannot live like being unemotional and so strict in being numb with my emotions, I am an emotional female that loves, the idea of loving and I wont change for the world!

If I had to be real it would be who I am and much, much more and those that I would love to join would be those that want to be part of something more, and to me that would be awesome!

However, we cannot move mountains and mountains cannot be built-in a day or a week or even a few years… if it was up to me it would be but, I am not someone who can make people move quicker, faster, I can only be me and if that is all I am to anyone then I guess my life is going to be a bit solo and a little bit lonely.hqdefault

To love is to be present within your soul and to be open to possibilities of hopefulness and openness who know what tomorrow brings.

What is your thoughts?

Do you think we are that fragile that we cannot open up and say it, do it, feel it, or even live it?

I want to live who wants to join me?

I want to be love who wants to join me?

I want to experience live with people who care about each other does that sound so bad?

What is it that we seem to be missing on this journey?

When will you open up and show me your heart?


How important am I too you?

happy-friendship-day-fb-cover.pngFriendships, are

they important?


Why are friendships important?


If we are friends and I got you upset, angry, then why not tell me what I did so I can say I am sorry for making you angry!

Old friends that drift apart or away for reasons that make me think why?

I was chatting to a friend the other day and we often talk about many things in life .. things that make us happy, sad, our likes, dislikes, our pains our fun times or even we tend to talk about each others ups and downs in our present life.

That is what friends are for the only expectations we have of them is that they understand us and that we can say pretty much anything within a respectful and understanding manner.

I had no idea you felt that way…

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Sometimes we forget how to speak to our dear friends and we become self evolved within ourselves a bit and at times we over step our marks or our boundaries because our own lives are a little mixed up with perhaps stresses, misunderstanding, confusion, frustration, many factors that we tend to forget what is expected in a good friend, mate or an old ear that you tend to like to chat off.

I myself have said, many over bearing things to mates that I shouldnt perhaps don’t think for one moment that I don’t say, “Oh, shit, WTF, did I just say?”

I am sorry if I hurt you…

We get upset when people don’t hear our words, listen to our advise and expect our mates, friends, family to listen when given good advise I suppose that comes from not listening which gets us so upset and angry, scared and then we tend to close off because it all gets too hard .

It isn’t because we don’t love them it is because we love them that we shift away from them I guess, it’s like saying, “I love you, but, I can’t be near you”.pexels-photo-888992

I myself with my girlfriend  have done this many times for our own personal reasons but, with time and love we always reunite because a true friendship isn’t built nothing it is built on many levels of understanding and years of good times that we invested within each other.

We are only human and we must not expect too much from one another…..

I wrote this because many of us have this experience in our lives so don’t be so harsh on one another because your friendships are valuable and they exist because it is built on many beautiful levels of love, trust, communication, your similar like and a strong bond that isn’t taken ever for granted.

Remember, live isn’t easy and we all do our best to be our best sometimes however, walls tend to be created over nothing but, misunderstanding, lack of communication and it is never, ever taken for granted.tumblr_m41ofnx1Hg1rsc47to1_250

Always remember this – communication shuts down only because what you havent said, how your really feel, the friendship is shut down because you’re not telling each other the truth about each others lives..

Being Silent isn’t being a friend!

We stop ourselves because it gets hard to communicate or our mouths are shut due to the truth.. if we told each other the truth then we would talk more often..

If you care about me then tell me…

I am your friend… you can tell me anything… that you hate me.. that you like me that you are sorry, that I hurt you… that you’re not listening…. then that is what being a friend is all about being able to speak… to each other…

Talk to me .. don’t ignore me….

Our lives are short on this planet .. always open your mouth say what you mean and let’s be friends because at the end of the day it isn’t about quantity it is about quality.


Remember we are not mind readers so if we piss you off tell us.. say it.. don’t just say nothing…DWTQzc_VMAA0B5P.jpg

















We are only what we are… this is because of what we only know….

It is better to say something to one another than to say nothing… be kind, be respectful, be open, be you, because that is all we as friends ever want from each other.

Love and Friendship is always very close…. why?

Well, you share so many beautiful experiences with each other.. we are not perfect that is what makes us so damn unique… every relationship starts off as a friendship so why wouldn’t you be you….

Nothing to lose right…..

Just be mindful of each other and remember to pause… let the other one speak… think about your words.. and always end a call with “I love you” …. xxx

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Remember to be kind…. you cannot make someone understand if you Do Not Paint that picture openly and honestly… so how can you get upset when you didn’t tell them how you really feel…. or what the truth is……we are all wrong when we shut down… not one side is innocent.. remember that…. xxx

We all try hard to be better if I am not getting better then tell me….

I can only do what I understand… not what you understand…..


We are NOT Animals….

Funny this statement always makes me giggle, laugh, think of moments a voice in the far left or right corner of your home.. says loudly and clearly..

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL…..download (4)

My response is No you are not an animal, we seem to do things and make silly judgements on ourselves and those that we care about and many that we seldom now within our scope of life.

However, everything we do I am sure we don’t intentionally do to hurt each other or even harm one another.. I guess, sometimes we get a bit confused, a little scared, a fear that creeps into our head and the next thing we notice is that we come out looking like we don’t have feelings..

This isn’t true….

We all have those feelings that scares the shit out of us, you, me, them and him or even her however, when you try to be brave that seems to stop you from being brave.. if that makes sense..

I never really intentionally or perhaps I tell a fib – When I say something nasty I am angry, I am hurt, I want to understand why you didn’t find it okay to tell me that you ..

Like me?

Hate me?

Think I am crazy?

Why is it so hard to say things that mean something that is good or even if I piss you off then tell me and I will do my best (depending if I like you) he he I will at least try to stop the intense hatred inside me (that was a joke)


Oh, god, we are definitely a handful or perhaps I am… whatever works or floats other people s boats….th (1).jpg

Mine well I think I am either got terits or a really am crazy as a loon..!!

Either whatever, I am me…. and I do love and care about those Animals that I fondly would pat, feed, kiss, cuddle, hijack and take away on a dirty weekend.. oh sorry doing it again…..

Seriously, though, I will improve with time… just like a good Port, Wine, or even a depressant that is called a GIN 🙂

Respect and Love always Franny xxximages (17).jpg

Moving on….Letting Go….


Don’t Start your day like everyone else ….

Start your day with something POSITIVE and MEANINGFUL in your ear..



This video is absolutely amazing to listen to… Change is so easy however, even with all my tools and sometimes I wonder “do I really have them”, I feel that I still have so much to learn about me….

When you go on a journey you must understand a few basic things… learn and then let those harsh realities of what occurred go….

You must let it go…..

the truth is unless you let go…..

unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation…….

unless you realize that the situation is over….

You cannot move forward ….

in your journey until you LET IT GO….


This part above is what I am trying to do… However, I must try harder.. for me.. so from now on….. peace to those I love but, it is time for me to let it go….


Franny x

My Sky is stormy but my future is clearer..

Today was one rather revolting day I would rather not repeat again!!!

This is around all those good things we all want from friends, family and especially those we love and marry and those that we hoped that would rise above and see the true essense of what being happy is all about.

Toxic Environment is where people live and breath deceat they would rather use negitivate language, prey on people that are easy to render because once upon a time they where those nice people that loved so lovely….

For some reason to hate makes you feel better? Funny it is the easiest and the cruelist way to live a life but most love it because they know if they allow themselves to feel, be loved allowed themselves that beautiful essense of feeling then they too will fall victim to cruel people who thrive on a spirit that we all love to be surrounded by.

Cruel Intent and those who love to gloss lies.. because what for?


The story isnt horrible enough you want to apply more hatred to something that was already rotten?

Far out this society is full of nasty, lazy, controlling, abusive, people that take, and they take and they will take more and more until someone dies?????

For the victims that die they died because not one person that they felt deep inside was going to be there for them… to grab them when they fell… you cannot abandon vunrable people you should never hurt people who are fragile, ready to crack … why on earth would you do this to another????

It is dangerous it is so toxic and it is soul destroying to those that are doing the best they can with what they know….

I myself can feel that rage, that feeling of desparation that you feel when your alone, scared and you feel like not one person cares about you .. its a really dark place I have been there when I was 21 years old and I stopped someone from continuing humillating me then I settled because I had no others tools to help me grow or even understand what that means..(I so wish I did) if I did I would be a amazing women with whatever she desired which would be only happiness.

I am not a mean, cruel and even have that part of me that wants to hurt another that is not me and will never be me ever.. I find it the most cruelest expression of anyones character to make another feel less than they should be.

I love to love and be loved and have someone that loves me that is what I have always wanted to be and have.. I am not a fluffy person or a person that takes from another I am a person that wants to laugh and laugh, love and be happy with others…

It takes alot to be cruel, lie, cheat and do what most people on this planet do to each other for whatever reason they do it.. but, for me I would rather walk away learn and even if I am sad, crying and feel that my life is over it is better that I do this then live a life with someone that cannot see my journey going forward..

So, time for me to reflect and think better and clearer… try to be kind to each other dont tear people apart because you could end up with destroying you….

And them……. so take a big breath in and exhale love…….if feels good right 🙂


So this is it kids… my last bit before making a better journey

No person on this earth should make another feel less than and if they do.. then they are not worth it..

I love those that want to love and that is enough for me.. I would rather live breath and exist under a bridge with good people or by myself than with someone that takes every inch of your spirit from you.

I am a person who has searched for her entire life for souls that understand this emotion, feels this essence I can’t live in a toxic nasty environment because if I do… I die…

It will destroy me and I know it so well, that I felt it today with my entire heart and my spirit took a turn that I hated with every inch of my soul…

If I ever EVER feel that emotion again… there will be no turning back there will be no fair wells or anything kind especially to those that made me feel that low..

I will leave and never ever think to feel you and want that memory in my mind… you will not exisit..

It is the hardest and the cruellest emotional killing that anyone can ever do to another… this is why people kill themselves because they feel alone and defenceless.

No words, I have no more words on this… all I have is this.. be kind to those that have fallen so hard and teach them that … kindness if you keep beating them with cruelty they will die..

its a fact..


Relationships MindSets…STOP the Bullshit and Start the GOOD SHIT!!

Disconnecting yourself by denying that it is possible to allow yourself to be Free of Fear…

This is about being present, talking about ones self by only using honesty and trusting your self firstly by letting go of past issues and trusting those chosen few that have been beside you still now.. bella, chino, the homeless person down the street… 

I believe in many, many things recently however, I wanted to share with you what I mean by letting go and trusting yourself and those who you allow to be in your life.

This post is about letting go of experiences that hurt you, that really truly tested your soul and could have made you do or perhaps stop you from living a life without regret.

I hope and with time I know as everyday my life is either struggling with issues or perhaps it is like a clear sunny day, I will not lie to you as I believe in being honest about me and how I see things going forward of course everything in life is never that set so I will say it better nothing has been mapped out so I am very aware that the future is much more open to experiences.

Imagine being Free of Fear.. Imagine trusting others is possible…

We repeat because new wiring is being planted into your brain and you are opening up areas that make you see life with a more free, loving, trusting nature… and that is amazingly brave of anyone to even think, feel or do such things…

Trauma, is a major problem in our society and will always be present unfortunately, however, we all are survivors and never, ever victims this is important for you to understand…

Without help some trauma victims never regain from that black pit of ourselves because our negative heaviness is so massive our minds cannot feel, see it , understand it or even put the damn thing in a sentence all because of this moment in your life that hurt you, made you feel betrayed and ashamed it was such a negitive drain that it wired it like lead into your mind and to remove it is like someone getting a saw and hacking at your thoughts and feelings just to help you see differently…

Your life is prescious, so DO NOT, allow your attackers to disable your future going forward…

For the last few years I have to say I have a mixed bag of emotions, mainly because that as a married couple with no children however, we do have these two gorgeous 4 legged hounds.. Bella and Chino, who reflects both personalities..of myself and my husband… however, he is definitely their favourite!

Anyway, our journey has taken us many beautiful shifting moments and many extremely emotional ones, it has tested us both as a couple, our values, how we work together as a couple, its made me start to have fears this was brought out while we would heat up after a discussion or you could say debate of the passive aggressive….

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However, it seemed to be mainly focused on a few area of my own mortality and this means going back and without me even understanding why to revisit my past… Yipes, many conversations some very funny, which is what I do when I talk about me or anything to do with me really I turn to humour to lighten the mood.. just incase the Volcano of a hidden Country at our home erupts and imploded the neighbours.

No-one is amune to Trauma, Depression, Anxiety even being Fearful…not even you MEN!!!

We noticed that even though I dealt with a lot of my past …. well, I really didn’t and I was a little upset about that I always without thinking give myself a hard time about how stupid, week, foolish, mouth, that I don’t ever make any sense and the language I used to use was too confusing and this made me think that I needed to find out why I had a few areas that annoyed me around speech and other things I noticed I could not face anything that could possibly in my mind hurt me..


I was frozen solid and fearful of being all those horrid words about by those that I cared about or really thought which was silly but, I do so understand my feelings more now to the why I felt this..

Sometimes life gives us journeys to teach us many factors that we many be struggling with and this follows our path with us as we grow up or get older, or marry, have children and so on…. a friend of mine said, “You know that old story Fifi, if you don’t deal with it head on it will keep reminding you, to do so!”

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Our weekly chats when I was struggling to understand myself and him for that matter it then reared yet again and it would be stronger with a fear factor touch to it and the anxiety, most of all which I really hated the fear of being hurt, unloved, rejected, and not important those words I know are just words but, to me I was scared.. totally petrified that this emotional revoltingness was going to remain and my life that I thought was fine was a mere lie and I was just a joke for someone or others to laugh at when bored.. (see how I worded it revolting that language i used reminding me of those days that I was hurt, so your subconscious mind is so strong it will creep up and bite you on your butt with sharp teeth and deny you of trusting again)

Your subconcious only knows what you told it to know….

This negativity that holds so tightly is only brought up because your subconscious is alarming you of that same feeling and how did that make you feel?

You got hurt, you got drugged, you were told by your best friends that you stole money from a business and your felt betrayed, hurt, they made you feel emotions that you never thought they would make you feel so your trust that you had once decreases until you have none for anyone else…


Even your wife, your friends, family members as well.. I did it.. I am still doing it.. but, you are doing it to you and your making me feel bad because you cannot allow yourself to trust me so you put this doubt in me… and then you are happy again because that feeling of negativity, fear is now passed onto that person you love.. not you…

Teach your subconcious another way to communitcate our Subconcious can be kind too so remember to be kind to you…

Before anyone says this…. it isn’t your fault, it is a wiring bonded emotional neuron that has been wired so solid inside your brain because once … you were hurt, you were betrayed by people who you once loved and held so highly…


So hopefully Honey, and those that care so much about us it is our turn to try to make sure with each time these emotions arise to recognise them and not get angry at another or fear that area that can bring your emotions down and affect you and those you would rather not affect..

STOP BLAMING others… and start training your brain to trust your positive thoughts…

Trauma and PSTN, both or even Rape are very soul-destroying emotions of deep darkness that I from time to time had and when they appeared they hurt like someone had stabbed me with a sharp knife and twisted it so harshly my gutts right then fell to the floor..

Sounds dramatic I know but, without a word of a lie that is exactly how I felt .. and I knew it wasnt real.. I just never could deal with it because frankly I didn’t have the understanding (tools) to deal with it.. So, I learned to understand them and it made me reflect about areas of my past childhood, young teen, young adult, wife, mother, ex-wife, single mother, and it was so life changing in many events and so damn life destroying in other events in my life..

Being nieve and honest people didn’t care about that amazing attribute of others or themselves, even back then when computers just came onto the market we had none of this nonsense about naked girlfriend pics, free naked cams, dating sites wanting to do gang bangs.. this whole world didnt exist yet and that was scared because to be honest we are only talking about 30 years ago maybe to some that alot but it really isnt many years.

Always be real, never lie or fluff up a story this isn’t healthy for you…

What we had been people who would lie to your face, have no remorse and do it again and again, then jealousy from girlfriends that thought you didn’t deserve a home because they could not think past themselves by saying that they did and I didnt…

Or Friends who promised the world and gave nothing but, decent, lies, dishonesty, and fraud and pulled you in with them because they wanted your money not YOU…

We should never deny ourselves of anything that will test your beliefs and test your boundaries because this my dear readers is the best parts of honesty..

It was such an enormous disappointment after disappointment I was shattered, I was just about done until I entered the twightlight zone of “How the fuck I ever got into bad situations over and over… anyway..  sorry went over board with this thought..


Get back on track…. So, my entire wiring was really not correct everything I believed in wasnt true and I felt guttered and alone… and even this made me feel these things it actually amazing to be able to have feelings after years of trauma that I went through..

Why would you say… the opposite of the truth just because of an insecurity of something that you have never felt before?

I said, Wow, that feeling of joy I was happy to feel… that felt truly happy and so thrilled that feeling that I had not felt in such a long time came back.. and I smiled..

So journeys are helped by your dearest partner mine is my hubby, and his dearest afar friend who was a bit of a wiz on PTSD, shhh even though he refused to admit that I heard him many times denying that factor.

Imagine, your life going forward with a better sunset this can be done… You can do it… If I can you can…

Why on earth would you deny yourself, your family, your loved ones of experiencing love or emotional calmness … just because you cannot understand another persons feelings..

If you do not have empathy of another and only yourself…then I am sorry.. this is not a good emotion to feel and you need to deal with this non emotion that your feeling but, denying yourself and those you care about by saying NO or I don’t understand you.. or your thoughts…

We all do it .. we protect ourselves so severe that we forget that … that is the Nasty illness you are allowing this illness to spread into your mind and beliefs by denying any thoughts of that make you feel insecure of yourself..

If you wish to live a happy life full of endless moments you need to let go of your doubts, and allow yourself to feel those feelings that made you feel hopeless, sad, fearful, suisidal.. there is another way to live your life healthier..


If you don’t let go..and spread this disease to those that you care about just because for that instant you doubted your existence or your ideal, power, alpha or even your ego that obviously is still very present at a later part of your life.. to make such a toxic aura around you…

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If you do not deal with your own past or the reasons why you felt that way and denied another to have feelings by stripping those traumatic episodes by using that language and understanding that crippled her I believe that this then turns into a thoughtless, heartless game play of using a powerful trigger by making another feel less that you feel about yourself…

The payback is devastating ….why you become a numb person and you do it and deny it over and over .. you are amune to seeing anything other than that perfect safe place you hold so closely all.. because it made you upset and it made you feel something you didn’t want to feel…

We fear things that we don’t understand,we fear those hurt moments as a child and crying alone by yourself asking what you did so wrong to those that you love..


We turn to people you trust and they lie and make you the BAD PERSON, and this negativity grows and so does your walls of denying yourself of a happy beautiful life all because of something, someone did to you once upon a time, many years ago and it made you feel worthless, this can eat your life up and it will destroy you and those souls that love you so very much!!


It did me, at times that feeling comes back by silly remarks of people who are in that same boat of denial… and it feeds like a disease that is so toxic it will kill you, it will make you want to kill yourself, isolate yourself, it will make you angry, make you say things that you normally would not say to one another…

Our brains only know what we believe in and what is surrounded by us…. so if we are around parents that fight, well, in time you will at one point use that same language and behaviour, or if a loved one broke your heart , stole money from you or you were accused by your friends, and those you trusted that you stole from them..well, what do you end up doing…..

Your wiring of your brain is corrupted with doubt, fear, denial, jealousy, trust, belief of the truth of others and you will only recall .. those moments that will drag you back to times when you could justify your wiring that is so damning to your soul that your life going forward..



Never give up… you deserve to live a full life no-one has the right to take this away from you… NO ONE!!!

1 time my darlings… 1 time… this is it………………for me if I cannot at least give myself a little bit of freedom of not feeling like someone is going to kill me, hate me, betray me, then I never, ever learned and I will be nothing but, unhappy and stuck in feeling a deep sadness of never believing in me and those that kill themselves to have you with them…

I felt a loss within myself for such a long time and I even wanted to fall asleep and never wake up..  Those emotions are unhealthy and can and will kill you … So let me help you… You are not alone, trust me…

We all are together… so let’s find a new wiring and trust those souls that we put all this effort and love and funny moments with bloody, swet and moans…

Give yourself a go.. and let this shit go…………………….and LIVE it ….. email me if you require help and I will be happy to find it for you….


Many thanks and much love to my husband Courtney, because without you my darling, our beautiful, tragic, uneven with moments of endless loving I could never live my life fully without you beside me..your wife xxx

This place isn’t about Love……. it’s All about LUST!!!!!!

As she comes into a room and says it how it is…… ….

It isn’t about LOVE it is all about L U S T


So, funny, I posted this comment (the above link) on a Website which I will not name, and it seems to some that Love isn’t the answer it is about LUST!!!

All about LUST, not love…… okay!

However, I was actually talking about marriage and couples that love each other and do what they do together..oh, well, perhaps I must be more clearer with my titles that I use in future.. damn it…… damn it…..

Silly me, naughty, naughty, get it right sweet innocent one…. (me I am talking about geezz)

That is fine I was referring to a majority of people or couples not referring to my total thoughts on what I think… or was I????

Or really what you think your justification of what you do with your husband…. go figure… I must, I must increase my ASS pictures, then I will know everything it is to understand about LUST….. sheesh I am still learning NOT!!

…..in case some didn’t get it that as me being sarcastically humourous sort of 🙂

Challenging, right? No? Yes? Perhaps? ………….ANNOYING RIGHT!!!!


Wow, so quickly we judge, it is like talking to someone and suddenly they are finishing your answers so, so, so BAD Candii xxx

It is also about Listening, something I have recently learnt, it is also about patience, understanding, communicating, trusting, lusting if you wish and having hot erotic sweetly, nasty  and most of all spank sex right!

Which is something I must be lacking ATM, oh the Gods, please hear me roar, or those that wish to hear me, feel me, touch me, fuck me…. go figure……

So your talking about this??


Love is the Answer you know!!!! Or is it?????

Rewarding oneself with the Temptation of a moment of Selfish Satisfaction!!!

How stressful life would be to sneak around, hide all those apps you protect so much, head down into your mobile phone searching for a moment of Satisfaction from receiving a message, a kiss, a loving gesture that will only matter for that moment until the next person comes along!!


Why on Earth would you do it , when you could experience beautiful moments with that person you chose so many years ago!!

By all means experience endless possibilities together as a couple, but, what is it about having that Cake and wanting another behind their back?

The stress alone will kill ya, don’t you think?

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“I love you to the moon and back”, so clique, or is it?

Beautiful sayings of devotion, love, a desire to tell another that you love them!!

We all want to be loved, however, we don’t want to put so much work into it, right?


We then put so much stress and devotion into keeping those who you so-called love, and then looking, searching continually for something to fluff up your EGO!!

All because your insecure about yourself and you think so very little of that beautiful person that you once loved so dearly?

Or did you ever love them in the first place?

Let’s face it … maybe your incapable of loving another person solely, maybe we all are?

Are we that dissatisfied with ourselves that we put so much effort in attaining something that isn’t going to last or only last for a moment!

We then put away the mobile, computer walk away, get angry with those that have nothing to do with what “you did”. but, we then justify ourselves by blaming another for how your actions are deep inside yourself..

I have no answers just questions, many of them…. so I ask, and ask and ask, you are probably wondering why I ask?

Well, because I feel that we don’t use our whole potential as being open, honest with our feelings with one another we choose to hide, not totally tell the truth because we are all scared of rejection, being labelled, looking like a fool, cheater, mean, cruel, selfish, all those and more…

Well, I am going to say it how it is…

“Humans are Selfish”, they want too much and give too little, we all do it, we lie, we cheat on ourselves mostly, we discount our own intelligence, we never stop for one moment, do we?

The Note book, Love this movie, especially this, it is real, true, and it is bound by devotion, love , desire, a true pain in the ass feeling however, passionate with every word they both say to each other….love is hard, it means work and nothing is ever easy..however, it is when you put the hard work into it….


Sexual desires, an urge, a consistent dilemma where you’re wanting validation of your own need or is it just not enough in your own life that you wish to be part of another life for your own tick box?

I really don’t have that answer just yet!

There seems to be an acceptance of “my right to do as I feel no matter at what cost”, we big note ourselves with our “Huge Ego’s, by selling ourselves in a scene that says, “About me”!


How huge is dating sites on the internet?  Multi-Media dating or I would call it perhaps a self-satisfaction of validating the worst kind of validation which is “Rewarding oneself by selling our souls so you can feel attractive, attainable, sexually desired, even possibly a validation of self-worth.”

So, at what cost?

Let’s look at searching for sexual validation, self-worth within your self, lack of love,  a pure desire to be adored, attractive to another, desired for being a nice person, all these emotions are deserving – however, only to those that are single, looking for love or perhaps are not in a loving relationship however, why stay in a relationship that makes you feel the opposite of what you are looking for within that Married lifestyle?!

Well, sad, happy, belated, whatever, you wish to call it…. it is a bit like this…. “You want your cake and you wish to eat someone elses or perhaps have another piece”.

Very sad indeed, easy enough to fall into this trap of “Selfish, love, more so it is very lazy of you to do this when perhaps you could put the effort into your own life if you feel it is worth it, right?”

  • Now, what if you stay in this loveless carnival of bullshit, what then?
  • So, again it’s all about have more Cake, right?
  • My question is to those that are attached, if you don’t include your partner then why look elsewhere and stay in this marriage or partnership it cannot be because of children, or self-worth, or even a mortgage?
  • What is it that those that stay in a marriage also want more without that partner?

All that energy in sneaking around and making sure the other half doesn’t touch your mobile, or laptop computer, or heaven forbid your actually receiving love letters in the post! Ha! Funny, NOT!!!


Perhaps as a couple we are both at fault, we should put in all this effort that we are putting out into the world with those we love, care about, right?

So, how is it that no ones cares enough to help each other – too hard, NEXT victim!!!

End of the day you will repeat it over and over and over again…. with the next person you meet…. until the day you die…. all because of selfish, thoughtless, stupid, ego hot heads who desires others to validate them as a person of sexual significance????


Please tell me if I am wrong???


The truth is…. it is BOTH,you are at fault!!!!!!


Because, you settled with someone who was not comparable to YOU!!!!!! Please tell me that I am wrong?

So, I will leave you with this video clip of what love may mean to some that have a Romantic bone in their body.. like I do…

Soul Mate – What does it mean to you?

What do you think is a True Soul Mate?

I believe soul mate comes in many forms of good will, it’s a person or if your lucky person(s) that could be your partner, best friend, a person who inspires you, loves you and you them for many reasons.

Soulmates is about two or more… not just one person…

They say true soul mates never really get together because it’s more like a walk through your life and you meet those different like-minded people who make you feel warm, loved, friends, adored, they click with your mind-set and make you feel comfortable and happy, sad, make you dream of things that are just beautiful and make you know you’re welcome in their life.


We often come across beautiful souls that open doorways of hope, a place to imagine just how adored our souls are it’s when you find them they often stay for a little while, go for a long while or even settle and never leave you.

Sometimes they are kindred spirits of yourself and they are people who have know you before time started…

Soul mates are truly divine in so many ways, they are the essence of yourself and more so than that… we meet so many people in our lives they either make us happy, sad, disappoint us, bring ups up and raise our spirits, they give us hope and love in so many unexpected ways that sometimes it is difficult until they are gone from your life that you trully understand what they did for you.

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A true soul mate never really leaves, they are always around however, their soul can only give you what you give back to them maybe that is why soul mates never truly connect forever and stay only a little time in your life…

I am really not sure why they never stay… who knows, really what a true soul mate is I guess it is someone or even to some this will sound stupid it could even be a pet to those that understand what a true mate is…

For me a soul mate is my husband, my best mate, my dear friend, and a person who just gets you and enjoys you for you… Their expectations are never over the top nor is yours our souls are uniquely wired and for some I believe they are wired for those chosen few in our lives…


A soul mate is the so uniquely wired and perfectly designed to unite with your soul life a perfect fit never over the top and always respectful to your every need that you both give to each other..


Maybe that is what a true soul mate is… once upon a time a very long time ago for me I believed in love at first sight!!  I personally, saw it like a light flashing before your eyes and then reality hits harshly and said to me, not for you, not now, until you have lived your life to understand what that truly means to you…

I could be wrong… what do you think a soul mate means to you??

When is it okay to forgive someone for “cheating’?

A cheating partner, a personal story of how we look at things in life!

What we as the partner would say that will allow us to say it’s okay?

Is it okay to cheat?

Have you ever been cheated on?





Perhaps it’s more about the why’s?

The justifcation of a partner that prefers to do it alone because they feel it’s “all too hard”, or is it because they require an outlet to be themselves?

Interesting and sad at the same time all because they feel it’s “them with the problem”, not you that cheats?


In your opinion, do you think we should forgive those that know no different?

Is it because they cannot be faithful?

Do they get bored?

What is your thoughts on partners that cheat?

When would you say it’s okay sweetheat I forgive you?


What would it take for you to forgive someone for cheating?



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