Tag Archive for ‘love’

Uniquely wired Female…


Let’s go further into the lifestyle roles of couples for a moment and discuss what both individuals are gaining in this set roles of each person.

Firstly, just for a moment, it is one of the highest respectful, honest, alluring, and most of all it is top of the pops of kinks…img_0020

Dominant and a Submissive, both are very brave to want to go into this lifestyle, yet admit it, most won’t talk about it to people that do not understand, so how do you exist in our world today within this set old fashioned, caveman mentality?

Okay, well, I just said it, if I was to break these two specific roles down I have to say wow, totally brave to even think of doing it, then to meet something that firstly doesn’t want to hurt you, or make you feel less than or even destroy you..

However, all the above is lovely how does one get all the above and not get hurt?

Well, the answer is this… persistence, understanding of one another, deep connection and finding that place within each other of the kind of person they really are.  This is important each one must locate in each other what is it that makes you persist?

I can’t answer this question for everyone, however, for me, it’s like this If I can see your heart deep inside you and I know that you have kindness, compassion, a part of you that loves then that is a good bloody start.CgVPPUCWQAEq7Oy

I believe in experience, life, growing up, understanding, learning, I believe in being kind, voice yourself, notice those around you that do the best they can for one another and watch them.  See if those people have a good heart, know what it takes to be there for one another, loves their family, will have many sides to their ever-changing personality because frankly, we all have too if we want to understand one another.

Some have this gift easily, some learn from one another, some experience good times, bad times and sad times, but, they learn to adapt and grow without losing a good sense of loving, kindness, and they see the difference between who deserves it and who does not.

For me it is like this… a kind person you can feel it, see it, taste it, it cannot lie..

A bad person, well they have to try at it harder, they tend to lie, they fall over their truths that they believe and they are always proving themselves to be better than you…

Life isn’t that difficult really just let the shit go and be kind..980x

I think we all start off vanilla I guess if you wish to put it as we are only small little kids, who are like sponges, they want to understand so many things.. as you get older those that are loud, come out very voice loud, you can see a little kid what that person will be like as they get older..

Some are shy and their voice has not yet been heard.. that is okay, they are called watchers.. that is what I was… I was a mixed bag of a lot of things… shy, loud, curious since I was born, always thought if I went to bed the party would start.

Never grew out of that… I smiled, loved, had a loud voice, however, as time went by and I got older I did notice my voice was lower, I was quiet and a little bit reserved for a while as a young child… 1521830997_life-quotes-inspiration-30-inspirational-quotes-for-the-women-who-are-strong-at-heart-trend-to-wear

I had learned a terrible lesson and that was I was scared, hurt, lamed, and many other feelings of shame at a young age… but, what it did to my actual spirit it suppressed my true real person..  So, I learned that I could not stay like that as it was hurting my soul and I had to fight back to hear my voice, my spirit had to fight back because it was hindered by being a little shy.. it took me time..

Why did this happen?

Well, that is my journey to tell one day.. what I am trying to explain to you is why people start off so well and lose what they thought they didn’t have or had.. is life…

We adapt to our environments because we have too, sometimes this is good, sometimes this is not so good, some don’t last the distance.

Again that is life…

We live, learn and grow… if we do not do this or have the will to do this then we will fall from our spot in life and just give up…

Many times throughout my entire life I wanted to do just that.. give the hell up!

I felt what most would feel, alone, scared, isolated, no-one would believe me, no-one likes me, as children, we are only taught what our parents teach us.. and that can be amazing and that also can be sad… and good it all depends…

So, I decided to live pull my socks up and get on with my walk and do the best I can do… if it means I fail then so be it… then I fail…

I have to say I did a few changes as I was young tot… If I fell once, twice, then I would stop looking back and go why did I do it twice?

So, because I questioned my own thoughts I started to see a different picture and I started to learn… so I would do it similarly but, not quite the same, each time I learned something new..712b70ec7f426d8dadeb24ab9b632c2f

This is called understanding your lessons and learning a different way of doing it…

If you keep doing the same thing over and over … then you are not looking at what is it that I did that didn’t work well?

At least you asked.. each time you do something similar you learn something better…

Life is about learning and living and doing it better for yourself… parents do not get given a handbook, user manual, they are given us and they do the best they can…

If we do not show them what to look for or at least show them how to do it right.. then hold yourself back and allow them to walk before you open your mouth about how to talk…

Experience and understanding and love are the best beautiful advise you can give another person….  by being there, loving them, and hugging them when they fall.

that is growing and understanding and discovering life …

I may have to re-write this but, I hope some of you at least understood what I am trying to say…

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A Woman’s Heart is a Deep Ocean of Secrets…


So many men think women want money, cars and gifts.

But the right women wants a man’s time, effort, passion, honesty, loyalty, smile, and him choosing to put her as a Priority that is “Hell Sexy”, beautifully honest, tear jerking friggin simply sexy as fck

 

A reflection of ones life….

This is how each other should look at one another….. this song is me… right down to the damn friggin ground… I love how raw it is and how raw they both are… simply beautifully honest!!!  ……. simply raw, simply human…

I think your beautiful… just be you….. wow, that is simply honest, truth, beautiful….

 

 

This song……. is mine….

 

I havent thought about this for a very long time in fact so long I can’t even remember who it was, but I do remember how and where I was when it hurt like someone had ripped out my beating heart and made it worth nothing but, their ego, something that was worthless and it was something I was never going to use again…

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Funny that paragraph above I think us women those who really feel deeply we think we wont feel again but, for some reason it’s not part of our DNA.

So, we do a few things in life I guess we watch like a hawk, we pace ourselves to look around we tend to lightly tip toe before our feelings again are hindered.

Why?

I am Confident because I can admit who I am, what Ive done, and love myself for who Ive become.

Because each time we break something leaves our spirit and without our knowledge we do tend to be a little numb around those because heart throbbing moments when your mind, soul and heart leads before you even know what hit you!

So, the question is my beautiful bloggers how many times did my heart really break?1521830997_life-quotes-inspiration-30-inspirational-quotes-for-the-women-who-are-strong-at-heart-trend-to-wear.jpg

Hmmm, well, my secret, my deeply covered moments that we all have but for me it was like my stomach had done a flip and my head was a little giddy and it scared the shit out of me…..

This occurred to me a few times in my later years…. after 28 years old, so what did I do, I was too busy trying to be a mum, trying to stop ferral men bitting my ass cuz, their 6 pack was their trophies…

I had no time to stop and smell the roses so to be honest – I have no idea all I know I did feel moments, however, I could not allow it to destroy me!

Why?

Because, just because…..of many reasons… 383f4aaba84ed577a940d05606c656ed--inspring-quotes-confident-woman.jpg

I believe in strength of living, loving, sharing moments, my heart feels, loves, beats, we are all only human this is the beauty of being a women..

Never play with a womens heart, once broken it will destroy her soul… it isn’t a game of popularity, it isnt a game that anyone wins… hearts and souls are not toy’s they are parts of your body that makes you whole…

I am the type of person that will sit in the bathroom and cry, but, then walk out like nothing ever happened..

Never Play with a Womens Heart…

“Never play with Feelings of others, because you may win the game but, you’ll surely lose the person forever…”

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Longing for Change…


Beautiful Lyrics… absolutely lovely…. Gaga’s New Movie Debut…

Wow, very amazing I cannot wait to see this Movie…

Wish I could, I could’ve said goodbye
I would’ve said what I wanted to
Maybe even cried for you
If I knew, it would be the last time
I would’ve broke my heart in two
Tryin’ to save a part of you

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna to give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh

When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I’d find myself
Lying in your arms
And I want to pretend that it’s not true
Oh baby, that you’re gone
‘Cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning
And I’m not moving on

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love

I don’t wanna know this feeling
Unless it’s you and me
I don’t wanna waste a moment, ooh
And I don’t wanna give somebody else the better part of me
I would rather wait for you, ooh

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
Baby, I’ll just stay on your lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
Oh, I’ll never love again

Love again
Oh, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
I won’t, I won’t, I swear I can’t
I wish I could but i just won’t
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh

 

[Verse 1: Bradley Cooper]
Tell me somethin’ girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

[Refrain: Bradley Cooper]
I’m fallin’
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Verse 2: Lady Gaga]
Tell me something boy
Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?
Or do you need more
Ain’t it hard keepin’ it so hardcore?

[Refrain: Lady Gaga]
I’m falling
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Chorus: Lady Gaga]
I’m off the deep end
Watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface
Where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now

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People who failed, yet did NOT give UP… Go figure!


“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill

 

Here’s a list of 11 famous people who failed before they succeeded – these were people who didn’t give up in the face of their struggles.

They’re people that persevered.

They pushed through their present-day limitations, had breakthroughs, and whose names have become synonymous with success in their respective fields of study and work.

 

#1 – Jim Carrey

We all know Jim Carrey as a laugh-out-loud zany comic who’s brought us some of the highest-grossing comedies of all time such as The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura. But, we don’t all know the story of Carrey’s struggle. He grew up in a lower-income family with a father who struggled to keep jobs. They were so poor that he had to drop out of high school at the age of 15 and get a job as a janitor just to help support the family.Jim-Carrey1.jpg

On his first comic stand-up at a club called Yuk Yuk’s in Toronto, he was booed off stage. Later, when he auditioned for Saturday Night Live for the 1980-81 season, he failed to land the part.

However, we all know about Carrey’s later success. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Carrey talks about how he used the Law of Attraction by writing himself a check for $10,000,000 million dollars for “Acting Services Rendered,” later placing the check in his wallet for 7 years until he received a $10,000,000 million dollar payment for his work in Dumb and Dumber.

 

#2 – Katy Perry

Katy Perry

Most people know the name Katy Perry, but they don’t the struggles that she went through to finally get that breakthrough she was after. Perry started her career early in her life, dropping out of high school after freshman year in 1999 to pursue singing. Originally, she was a gospel singer, taking cues from her parents who were Born Again Christians.

In 2001 Katy Perry released her first gospel album with Red Hill Records, which was commercially unsuccessful. After selling only 200 copies of her album, the record company ceased operations and subsequently went out of business. Afterward, Perry switched gears to popular music, moving to Los Angeles to record with producer Glen Ballard.

In 2003 she was signed to Island Def Jam, which was also a contract that was terminated. In 2004 she signed with Columbia Records who sought to make her the lead vocalist in a band called The Matrix. However, that deal also fell through when Columbia Records shelved the project at about 80% completion.

After being dropped from three labels, you would think that Perry would have given up. She didn’t. She continued to pursue her career, working odd jobs and doing back-up vocals until she was signed to the newly-formed Capitol Music Group in 2006. It was there that she worked on her first huge hit single, I Kissed a Girl, which started her career as a commercial success.

 

#3 – Oprah Winfrey

Oprah had a rocky start in life. As the daughter of a teenaged low-income mother, her start was anything but glamorous. In her early years, Oprah recounts that not only were her living conditions rough, but she was always sexually abused, starting at the age of 9, by her cousin, uncle, and a family friend. At the age of 14 Oprah got pregnant, but her son died shortly after birth.235054-Failure-Is-A-Great-Teacher.jpg

However, at the age of 14, Oprah was sent to live with her father, Vernon, in Tennessee. He helped her focus on her schooling, and she was subsequently accepted on a full scholarship to Tennessee State University, majoring in communications. In high school, and in her first two years of college, Winfrey interned at a local radio station, helping to develop a foundation for a career in media.

But, even after Oprah was hired on to a local television station for the news, things didn’t go so easily. She was fired by the producer because she “unfit for television,” later taking a position with another station in Baltimore. Eventually, she hosted a local talk show named, People are Talking.

Later, in 1983, Winfrey re-located to Chicago, to host a station’s low-rated talk show called AM Chicago. Within a few months, the show went from last in the ratings, to higher than Donahue, which was the number one show at the time. This led to the show being renamed The Oprah Winfrey Show, which was syndicated across the country.

 

#4 – Jay-Z

Jay-Z

From an early age, Jay-Z had a knack for rhythm. But his meteoric rise to stardom didn’t happen overnight. He was faced with several roadblocks along the path to ultimate success. For example, in 1995 when Jay-Z tried tirelessly to strike a record deal, not a single label would sign him. It led him to establishing his own record company called Roc-a-fella Records with partners Damon Dash and Kareem Biggs.

After being turned down by so many labels, and eventually starting up his own record company, Jay-Z worked tirelessly to strike a distribution deal for his first album’s release. Eventually, he successfully negotiated a contract with Priority, later releasing his debut album entitled, Reasonable Doubt, which would eventually go on to hit platinum.

Jay-Z met with many failures along the road. Those failures weren’t just in the beginning of his career, but the beginning does highlight the tremendous amount of resistance he faced to achieve success. And, even at the prime of his career, Jay-Z was charged with allegedly stabbing someone at a record release party. He was tried, pleading not guilty, but later pleaded to a lesser criminal misdemeanor, resulting in three years of probation.

Considering that Jay-Z’s roots stemmed from the housing projects of Brooklyn, NY, and grew up in extreme poverty, he faced many failures and roadblocks in his life. But he never gave up. No matter what happened to him, no matter what failures he faced, he pushed through, growing as a person, and maturing to become a better individual.

 

#5 – J.K. Rowling

download (19).jpgRowling is one of the most inspirational success stories of our time. Many people simply know her as the woman who created Harry Potter. But, what most people don’t know is what she went through prior to reaching stardom. Rowling’s life was not peaches and cream. She struggled tremendously.

In 1990, Rowling first had the idea for Harry Potter. She stated that the idea came “fully formed” into her mind one day while she was on a train from Manchester to London. She began writing furiously. However, later that year, her mother died after 10 years of complications from Multiple Sclerosis.

In 1992 she moved to Portugal to teach English where she met a man, married, and had a daughter. In 1993, her marriage ended in divorce and she moved to Edinburgh, Scotland to be closer to her sister. At that time, she had three chapters of Harry Potter in her suitcase.

Rowling saw herself as a failure at this time. She was jobless, divorced, penniless, and with a dependent child. She suffered through bouts of depression, eventually signing up for government-assisted welfare. It was a difficult time in her life, but she pushed through the failures.

In 1995 all 12 major publishers rejected the Harry Potter script. But, it was a year later when a small publishing house, Bloomsbury, accepted it and extended a very small £1500 advance.  In 1997, the book was published with only 1000 copies, 500 of which were distributed to libraries.

In 1997 and 1998, the book won awards from Nestle Smarties Book Prize and the British Book Award for Children’s Book of the Year. After that, it was one wild ride for Rowling. Today, Rowling has sold more than 400 million copies of her books, and is considered to be the most successful woman author in the United Kingdom.

 

#6 – Stephen Kingimages (37)

Stephen King is famous for many critically-acclaimed novels, most of which have been made into movies. However, Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie, was rejected 30 times before it was published.

Not only that, but King actually threw the manuscript into the garbage, only later to be retrieved by his wife who wildly believed in his dream of becoming a published author.

Yet, King’s earlier years were also nothing to rave about. As a child, his family barely made ends meet, and in his later years as an English teacher, he supplemented his income by selling short stories to magazines.

Today, King has over 50 novels and has sold over 350 million copies of his work. Can you imagine what King’s life would be like had he given up? It’s difficult to imagine that such a successful author was once rejected so many times.

In his earlier years, King talks about submitting short stories to magazines beginning at the age of 16, and hanging the rejection slips on a nail until the slips were so heavy he had to change the nail to a spike.

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#7 – Bill Gates

Before Microsoft was born, Bill Gates suffered failure in business. Known today to be one of the wealthiest men in the world, Bill Gates’s upper middle-class family is a stark contrast from some of the other successful failures out there that didn’t have well-off parents.

However, Bill Gates didn’t rely on his family. His business acumen was second to none. But his first business was indeed a failure. Traf-O-Data was a partnership between Gates, Paul Gilbert, and Paul Allen. The goal of the business was to create reports for roadway engineers from raw traffic data.

The company did achieve a little bit of success by processing the raw traffic data to generate some income. But the machine that they had built to process the data flopped when they tried to present it to a Seattle County traffic employee. Yet, this business helped to set Gates and his partner Paul Allen up for major success with Microsoft.

Although Gates failed at his first business, it didn’t discourage him from trying again. He didn’t want to give up because the sheer notion of business intrigued him. He was cleverly able to put together a company that revolutionized the personal computing marketplace. And we all know just how successful that was for him.

 

#8 – Henry Fordimages (39).jpg

Many people know Henry Ford for the Ford Motor Company, one of the most successful automotive companies of all time. However, what they don’t know is that Ford failed two times before that abruptly resulted in bankruptcies, prior to successfully launching the present incarnation of his company.

Ford is no stranger to failure, but he also didn’t give up. Yet, when we think about Ford, we don’t picture the failures because all it took was just succeeding one time. However, in 1899, at the age of 36 years old, Ford formed his first company, the Detroit Automobile Company with backing from the famed lumber baron, William H. Murphy. That company went bankrupt.

His second attempt was in 1901, when he formed the Henry Ford Company, which he ended up leaving with the rights to his name. That company was later renamed to the Cadillac Automobile Company. However, it was Ford’s third try, with the Ford Motor Company, that hit the proverbial nail on the head.

After that, we all know the story. Ford revolutionized the automobile industry, pioneering not only the Model T and the assembly line, but also the concept and notion of an automobile in every home. Driving became a “thing,” and subsequently, Ford’s Model T went on to sell over 17 million units.

 

Colonel-Sanders-Story-KFC-Never-Give-Up.jpg#9 – Colonel Sanders

bow tie. Colonel Sanders was the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). Yet, the zany Sanders got off to a rocky start in life. In fact, it wasn’t until the age of 62 that he set out with a $105 social security check in hand to pitch his chicken recipe to restaurants. 1,009 folks told him he was crazy, but he didn’t give up.

Sanders worked many jobs including fireman, tire salesman, insurance salesman, and of course, a cook. He brewed up his secret chicken recipe between 1939-1940 when he figured out how to pressure fry the chicken in a faster and more consistent product all the time. He was at the age of 50 when that happened.

However, it wasn’t until 1952 that he hit the road and began trying to sell his franchise-model chicken restaurant. The first restaurant that he landed was based out of Salt Lake City, Utah, which became the first Kentucky Fried Chicken. The restaurant tripled its sales within a year where 75% of that revenue was from the colonel’s chicken.

The company grew and expanded faster than he could have ever imagined. In 1964, at the age of 74 years old, Sanders sold the company for $2 million dollars to a group of investors led by Jack C. Massey and John Y. Brown Jr. He retained the rights to the Canadian franchises and stayed on as a salaried goodwill ambassador to the company.

However, this just goes to show you that it doesn’t matter how old you are or just how much money you have to your name in order to accomplish something great.

 

#10 – Thomas Edisondownload (20).jpg

We’ve all heard the name before. This famous American is attributed with failing over 10,000 times to invent a commercially viable electric lightbulb, but he didn’t give up. When asked by a newspaper reporter if he felt like a failure and if he should give up, after having gone through over 9,000 failed attempts, Edison simply stated “Why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitely over 9,000 ways an electric lightbulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.”

This is also the same person whose teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything,” and fired from his first two employment positions for not being productive enough. However, Edison, through his failures, is also the greatest innovator of all time with 1,093 US patents to his name, along with several others in the UK, and Canada. This is someone who refused to ever give up no matter what.

It’s said that in his early days, he attributed his success to his mother, who pulled him out of school and began to teach him herself. It’s because of his mother, and how wholeheartedly she believed in him, that he didn’t want to disappoint her. His early fascination for chemical experiments and mechanical engineering paved the way for a future that was incredible bright. His company, GE, is still one of the largest publicly-traded firms in the world, continually innovating across virtually every spectrum.

 

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#11 – WALT DISNEY

The man who has affected generations to come with his cartoon creations, was once considered a failure. Disney was fired by the editor in 1919 from his job at the Kansas City Star paper because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” However, the man who brought us Mickey Mouse and a slew of other characters didn’t stop failing there.

Disney’s first go at business landed in bankruptcy when he acquired an animation studio by the name of Laugh-O-Gram. The company was acquired because, at the time, Disney’s cartoon creations had gained popularity in the Kansas City area. But, when he hired on salaried employees, he was unable to manage money and the business wound up heavily in debt. Subsequently, he filed for bankruptcy and moved to Hollywood, California.

The early failures in Disney’s life didn’t dissuade him from moving forward. Of course, like anyone else, Disney’s failures were a blow to the ego. Anyone that has to suffer through the torment of failure and bankruptcy knows how this feels. However, it also laid the foundation for a successful career. When he formed the Walt Disney Company, all of his past failures helped to pave the way for a successful business.

Disney and the Walt Disney Company have touched the lives of millions across the globe. From cartoons, to theme parks, and animated movies, both children and adults now enjoy the fruits of Disney’s labor. Had he given up, things would have been far different. But he persevered, even through bankruptcy.

 

Beautiful Quotes….


I have borrowed these from a great Blogger link below to the person who inspired most of these quotes…life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc

Truth

“Never ruin someone’s life with a lie, when your world can be destroyed with the truth.”

Tell them…

“If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are broken by the words unspoken.” 

Enjoying sex…

“Enjoying sex doesn’t make you a whore, just like being a virgin doesn’t make you saint.” 

A good man…

“Allow a good man to ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.” 

Sex and Marriage12ba5c1805debdfd1dbfa06d77882a0d.jpg

“God created sex. Priests created marriage.”
– Voltaire

Lay me down…

Lay me down,
get ready to play,
clear your calendar,
to make love all day.

Start with kisses,
touch me low,
caress me tight,
as we take it slow.

Cat fight

 

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.” – Abraham Lincoln6dd056fa77d441b87e2deffa867f35ef.jpg

Master Your Passions

 

 

 

“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” – Lord Tennyson Alfred

Threesome Sex Fantasy: would you?


Firstly, if I was single, would I do a 3some, absolutely, no question, I would get my Fck Buddy, cuz of course I would have one.

And he and I would go an explore a sexual journey together, as long as we both had each others back…. Meaning it would be built on many solid values of each other.

However, that is if I was Single!!!

How about you?

Most men have fantasized about it, and most women have been propositioned for it: a threesome. A ménage à trois has appeal for several reasons, including the allure of being the centre of sexual pleasure, while pleasing others at the same time. The forbidden turns into a night of double the pleasure, double the fun. But should the fantasy of a threesome become a reality?

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding the seductive triad because they’re sexy and alluring, yet dangerous and forbidden. We can imagine what they’ll be like, but we won’t truly know until we go there.

April Masini, a relationship expert and author, believes society feels “regular intercourse” is tradition, and a threesome is a “lesser tradition that is not part of a healthy, long-term relationship,” she told Medical Daily. These core beliefs will inform a person’s decision to either pursue the fantasy or leave well enough alone.

Not all fantasies should be shared; if we’re in a relationship, and haven’t talked about the idea with a partner, it could be uncomfortable, awkward, and upsetting to add a “plus one” to our sexual rendezvous. There are risks and benefits for singles, as well.

1.Sex And The Media: Threesomes

The media has become an outlet of information for sex, dating, and sexual health, especially during our teen years, and it influences our sexual behaviour and attitudes of what we’re expected to do and like. The media can display casual sex and sexuality with no consequences, which may change the way we think about them, including threesomes.920x920.jpg

In a 2003 study published in the Journal of Undergraduate Research, researchers examined the relationship between TV viewing and sexual attitudes and perceptions. Students from a public Midwestern university completed three primary measures: television viewing habits, sexual attitudes, and responses to sexual scenarios. Half of the participants completed the measures after waiting in a room while viewing sexually explicit music videos, and half waited with no TV present. Those exposed to sexually explicit videos before responding to the sexual scenarios rated these scenarios as less sexual than those not exposed to the videos. In other words, being exposed to sexually explicit content had a priming effect.

Daytime and nighttime television can also act in a similar way. Soap operas tend to have more sexual content than prime time programs, but they portray the types of intimacies differently. They tend to show more intimate moments, whereas prime time programs generally imply the sexual content, like threesomes.

For example, in the episode “Third Wheel” on How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby calls on his womanizing friend Barney Stinson to explain that he is about to “go for the (threesome) belt” after two women insinuate their plans for a threesome, or as Ted says, “tricycle”. The women attempt to escalate things when Ted comes down with a case of nerves and tries to end things abruptly. He enters his bedroom where Barney is and gets sympathy from him. Barney explains Ted’s problem is not uncommon, and it’s what ended his “tricycle” efforts last year.

The episode ends as Ted gets a second chance after Barney “coaches” him how to start. By the time he leaves the bedroom, the girls appear to be gone, until he hears giggling coming from the other room. Ted peers in and enters with a smile on his face. It’s left ambiguous whether or not he had a threesome.

On the show, the prospect of a threesome was portrayed as the Holy Grail every man should strive to conquer. “The belt” was seen as a reward for a man achieving a ménage à trois with two women.

“A man desiring a threesome is almost expected,” Noni Ayana, a sexuality educator at Exploring Relationships, Intimacy, and Sexuality (E.R.I.S.) told Medical Daily.

She believes society encourages men to explore their sexuality; of course within socially accepted boundaries.

“The Golden Rule”: Two Men, One Woman

One of three straight men’s sexual fantasies is having multiple partners, specifically the male, female, female (MFF) grouping. A hetereosexual man feels less sexually fluid to have a trio with another man and another women, because it’s commonly perceived as homosexual.

In 2011, Saturday Night Live (SNL) did a singing skit that delved into the experience of a threesome among two guys and one girl with celebrities Justin Timberlake, Andy Samburg, and Lady Gaga. The song “3-Way (The Golden Rule)” emphasized if two men are in a threesome, “it’s not gay.”

According to Urban Dictionary, “When engaging in a threesome that involves two guys and one girl, the golden rule states that it’s not gay.”

Typically, when men fantasize about threesomes, they think about the MFF dynamic because it’s viewed as sexual behavior that aligns with traditional masculinity.

Moreover, Ayana expressed that heteronormative men are less likely to participate in a threesome that involves two men and one women since the idea may be perceived as homosexual ideation, or sexual behavior.

Straight men would need to overcome their discomfort with other naked men and strains of disgust in our culture that remain over homosexuality.

 

So, why are we so intrigued by threesomes when at least two of the same gender must participate?

2.The Object Of Simultaneous Desire

The idea of being simultaneously loved and adored by two males, two females, or a male and a female grouping may be exciting for some. Threesomes present a way for women and men to be wanted by more than one person, and be “centre stage.”sexthreesome.jpg

Psychologically, men and women see threesomes as validating their sexual status, or level of attraction. The idea that someone or a couple would consider the third party worthy enough for a salacious encounter can be an ego boost.

Masini adds: “People who are insecure often feel that being part of a threesome will give them confidence, sexually, and make them a more desirable partner because they’ve had this experience.”

Some women see it as a confidence builder, as they enjoy being seduced and desired. For men, it means they’re desirable enough to get two women in bed at the same time.

The psychological allure of threesomes, especially for men, could be driven by a biological urge.

Biological Urge For Threesomes

Men

A ménage à trois with two women is a popular fantasy among men. The idea of being with two women at the same time is intriguing because it represents twice the number of body parts to enjoy sexually. It’s also not surprising; this comes from a man’s biological urge to procreate with as many women as possible to spread his genes.

Women

When it comes to mating, women look beyond just an alpha male. The criteria for a woman to sexually desire a man includes strength, health, and fighting ability. In other words, when women are looking to mate, they want a man who possesses the best possible genes for her offspring, and the offspring’s best chance of survival to pass on those genes.

Women may be less likely to engage in a threesome because subconsciously, they do not see any benefit. A male-female-female scenario reduces her chances of procreating with a male. A woman plans examine her choices and make conscious decisions about her sex life — for the most part.0529102e7974401787f6206ca449a491209510-v5-wm.jpg

3.Attitudes About Threesomes: Women Vs. Men

Men and women both dig the concept of a threesome, but whether they engage in it or not is different, according to a 2016 study in the Journal of Sexual Archives. Researchers noted 82 per cent of men and 31 percent of women were interested in a threesome.

However, compared to women, men reported significantly more positive attitudes and greater interest in mixed-gender threesomes.

Meanwhile, 24 percent of men and eight percent of women said they’ve already had a menage a trois.

Men prefer to know the person who would join them, and their partner, whereas women only cared whether they knew the other two people if they were the third party to join a couple.

People appear to be open-minded about threesomes, but there’s a big difference between how many people want to have them, and how many actually do it.

“The fact that attitudes and interests were more strongly correlated with each other than with behaviour is in keeping with research that has documented a discrepancy between sexual attitudes and beliefs and sexual behaviour,” wrote the study authors.

A similar study in the Journal of Bisexuality found regardless of the proposed relationship type, very few women showed interest in having a threesome with two men if given the opportunity. For a woman, a threesome with two men is much more of a social taboo, as some women don’t want to have casual sex with one guy, let alone two.

Unsurprisingly, men leapt at the opportunity to have a threesome with two women, although this desire was lower for both dating and committed relationship partners. In this scenario, women were also less enthused, because it does not have the same appeal to a straight woman as it does to a straight man, beyond the excitement that comes with group sex.

The researchers did find the results were similar when participants were asked how arousing they found the fantasy of a threesome with two opposite-sex partners.

“Some people basically find a threesome a bucket list fantasy they may or may not enact, but they keep it in their ‘fantasy bank’, because they like the way it makes them feel,” said Masini.images (10).jpg

4.The Trouble With Threesomes

Health Risks

Sex between two people can provide a host of infections and diseases; sex among three people triples those odds. A threesome is riskier than sex in a mutually monogamous, long-term relationship where both people have been tested. For example, if you touch one person, and you get fluids on you, and you touch the other person, fluids have been exchanged.

There’s a risk of exposing the third partner to bodily fluids when two fluid-bonded partners engage in unprotected sexual acts. In the book The Ethical Slut, author Dossel Easton uses the term “fluid bonding” to describe when partners involved do not use condoms or other barriers during sex.

Barriers for all sexual activities can go overlooked in threesomes; all partners should use a new barrier every time they switch sexual acts. If one person goes from intercourse to fellatio or vice versa, you change condoms. You also need to change condoms if you move from penetrating one partner to penetrating another. You need to pick up a new dental dam when performing oral sex on someone new.

Psychological Impact

As expected, men are more likely to initiate asking women for a ménage à trois.

Women are more likely to be aware and concerned about the potential emotional pitfalls and hurt that can be detrimental to all relationships.

This is why couples should discuss their physical and emotional limits before the third person becomes involved.

“I have seen some serious fall-out from threesomes gone badly. It can be hard to predict the intensity of jealousy and hurt when it comes to sexual experience and bringing another person in,” Dr. Gail Saltz, a  psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, told Medical Daily.

Finally, remember that the “special guest” is a person, too. They need to be treated with respect. It’s important to ask them about, and listen to, their limits as well. As with any other sexual experience, everyone needs to feel safe and comfortable enough to say no as well as yes.

5. Should Threesomes Fantasies Just Stay Fantasies?

The threesome fantasy is a common one, whether we like to admit it or not, but should we act it out?

“… Not everybody wants to act out their fantasies,” Masini said, and some people have very good reasons for abstaining.

Many people keep their fantasies in their imaginations because they know if they acted on them, they’d lose their primary relationship. If we fantasize about sex with a neighbour or a colleague, acting out the fantasy could lead to rejection from the object of our fantasies, and a break-up with our significant other.

This is not to say threesomes can’t go well. Those who really know themselves and their partners can have successful trios.

Saltz advises: “It needs to be thoroughly talked through with openness to [discuss] concerns, fears; [couples should be willing] to listen to each other, and retreat if one needs to.”

Once we see our partner enjoying sex with someone else, we can’t unsee it. The potential vulnerability it introduces, and the potential desire for the third person could be detrimental to a relationship.

Before we start calling up friends or putting “Special guest wanted” in classified ads, we should ask ourselves why we want one in the first place.

  • To fulfil a fantasy?
  • To feel more desired or wanted?
  • Are we trying to fix our intimate relationship with our partner?

Threesomes can be a fun, adventurous sexual experiment, but can they replace true intimacy between two people?

The idea of a threesome is hot, but it doesn’t mean you should actually do it.

 

A Sex Worker’s Roadmap to Fighting Seasonal Depression


Lola Divina, is my new Idol, born in 1968, she was born to a middle-class nuclear Family in European descent (like me) Although she has not worked in the industry (sort of like me – however, I have done Sex calls when I was a struggling mum)

Lola describes herself as a bi/queer/transpire/cis-blurry female-identified sex worker, although that really doesn’t explain the half of it.

Her description of herself is to me refreshing because for some reason I have also been very fascinated with the marcarb, the different, something out of the box that people have a tough time thinking about daily.

So, I guess her and I are one in a way she describes herself like I would tell a story and how refreshing is it to see a women who is the same age as I am who is actually interested in areas that most people “would not go near”.

I praise you Lola, for your guts and glory attitude to being a brave women because people are so critical about talking about sex and many other areas of sex and I find that a women in this industry I take my hat off to them for their brave attitude and even the path each girl walked to be in such a torrid, critical, sexually transgenic (made that up) industry like the “Sex industry”.

So, here is her link and I must say I will be watching this lady down to a tea to see if I can do the same as her… I bow down to anyone that has the guts to take it on.. because that is exactly what I will be doing…

Much respect and love to you, Franny xxx

LoLa Divinadownload (16).jpg

In any season this is a sensitive time for most people, and sex workers bear the added weight of a reduced income and clientele stream. Many adult content customers will be exhausted, financially and otherwise, by family and holiday obligations. Others, under the increased pressure of social norms, may decide to stop seeing sex workers altogether. It is no secret that a portion of sex industry patrons are working out unhappiness in their lives through sexual diversion and the new year is often a time of reflection and lifestyle changes. The three-month string of financially draining holidays drags on until tax payments are due thus making winter a particularly difficult time for sex workers, who do not often have a fixed income or are working essentially off tips and gigs.

Self-employed sex industry success is reliant on very emotionally-intensive work that can be taxing on your mind and body. No artist is complete without their tools so here is a comprehensive guide to fulfilling mental health needs for a sex worker.

 

Healthy Physical Environment

 

Build the best possible foundation for your body and mind to be at their best.

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Loosely following the kaizen principle, do something for a small amount of time each day and you will eventually notice yourself spending more time in your new positive habits. Being physically rested, fit, and ready to meet life head on every day will set up a good foundation for your emotional resilience during trying times. Stick to these guidelines to make the most of your winter months without sacrificing fitness.

 

  • sex worker fighting seasonal depressionPhysical fitness – DO IT. It is the key to so much mental well-being, both from direct exercise and from feeling yourself in your best and most capable body. Make a pact with yourself that no matter what else may go tits up during winter time, you’ll dedicate at least 30 minutes each day to exercise whether it is living room yoga and squats, or a full-on gym experience – DO IT.

 

  • Physically pump yourself up! Take a hot shower. Put on some upbeat music. Practice meditative breathing. Refocusing your mind on positive calm can do wonders for chasing away anxiety and getting you out of a slump.

 

  • Empower yourself. Use the ultimate lifehack of power poses. Repeat positive self-affirmations out loud to train positive feedback loops in your thoughts. From Jim Carrey and Arnold Schwarzenegger to Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga, successful people use mental tools and hacks to empower themselves.

 

  • Get some fresh air. Even if you just go for a short walk – fresh air and sunshine are depression’s mortal enemies. Lowered vitamin D from lack of sunshine is a very central cause for poor mental health.(If sunshine is scarce where you live, a quality therapy light and some vitamin D supplementscan help a lot. Links are to the products Cat uses and personally recommends. If you suffer from persistent depression, please consult with a doctor.) 

 

Healthy Mental Environment

 

Just as important as physical fitness, your mental environment impacts how you feel and what you are capable of achieving.

 

Modern age sex worker types can, and often do, share some mental and lifestyle traits in common. Many are self-employed in some capacity, or at least rely primarily on themselves to achieve their goals, while many of us also share in suffering from the industry-wide discrimination when interacting with the world at large.  A lot of us work from the comfort of our own homes, which can be a double-edged sword resulting in increased isolation and lack of motivation to pursue our dreams. Two major themes that come up as a result of that, and can complicate mental health, are Introversion and Isolation. Here are some tips to combat these twin harpies of depression.

 

INTROVERSION

 

When we start getting affected by depression, the desire to withdraw becomes strong. However, our job and forward momentum often depend on being in front of people and able to advertise our services. To get around this road bump, get in front of people’s eyeballs in whatever manner you can during the winter months. It may feel counter-intuitive but you must keep up appearances in whatever capacity you can!

 

  • Maintain a regular schedule. Make sure to allocate a specific amount of time each day for taking calls, camming, or otherwise engaging with your audience and fill the rest of your time with other activities.

 

  • sex worker fighting seasonal depressionDon’t make the mistake of waiting by the phone all day or loitering around an empty venue. Pick your times – cut it down if you have to as long as you maintain consistency – and put on your best show during your designated work time. This will help you feel like you gave it your all without giving away too much of your emotional strength reserves; both reserving strength while feeling like you’ve done what you could, is beneficial when you don’t feel your best.

 

ISOLATION

 

It can be difficult to find a compassionate person to talk and vent with while in the adult industry. You often can’t talk to clients – they frequently come to sex workers as an escape from their own problems and we must always put our best foot forward lest the fantasy they are paying for get shattered. We also can’t often talk to family – or most friends – without them blaming sex work as the cause for emotional difficulties while they constantly talk your ear off about the terrible stress of their job.

 

  • Online communities are great for providing support but it is also crucial to go out into the world and spend time with people. Think of an outside hobby that you truly enjoy, or an activity that you wish to learn. Taking a class for fun can be a comfortable structured environment that removes any burden of initiation. Anything that inspires you, really, because the goal is to be connected with a community. Any community of like-minded individuals that you can bond with over something that enriches your collective lives.

 

  • Exercise is always a great option, like dance or even hiking meetups, or you can do volunteer outreach in needy neighborhoods. Maintain world connections unrelated to your sex work; something you can do to take your mind off and help you recharge.

 

  • There are even lots of little groups and meet-ups with specialty interests you can bond with on a different “our thing” sort of level. Whether its board games, book clubs, or fantasy football, everyone has their own little groups of fellow “weirdos” they can socialize with under no expectation other than enjoying some of the same things.

 

Healthy Community Environment

 

You are what you do, what you think, and who you admire. You are what you consume!

 

Finally, the best and most creative kind of work comes from a calm and empowered mind. When your mind is focused on believing in those who believe in you, it doesn’t have time for negativity. Trying to not do or think negative things is just a double negative. Instead occupy yourself with positive people and positive things. Look forward to your ability to appreciate the small things of life in a big way and soon you will have a strong new happiness habit!

 

  • Strive to keep your environment clean, both physically and mentally. Be aware that listening to those who constantly express dissatisfaction will make you dissatisfied with life too. We are social creatures so just “managing our own mind” is like deciding we can just go on a diet while living in a donut store: It sounds great on paper but is ultimately unrealistic.

 

  • Find what social media may be your depressive triggerThen work out your own Social Media mission statement, like Conner Habib.

 

  • Support from those who intimately understand what you are struggling with is invaluable.Find people invested in sex worker mental health and follow the crap out of them on social media!
    • Bonus! Recent thread from Lee Roy Myers of WoodRocket naming some specific individuals as good industry resources on social media.

 

  • Good long-form resource is Jiz Lee’s book store. If you liked “Coping With Showing Your Junk For a Living: Privacy Issue” then you’ll love “Coming Out Like a Pornstar” because it was published in there! It’s a great book all around, full of personal performer stories of overcoming social and interpersonal stigma.
    • Bonus! This bookstore also carries Lola Davina‘s “Thriving in Sex Work” which is your new must-have wellness bible.

 

Emotional Journey … if I can do it.. so can you?


I wonder often if we ever really live our lives fully?

I often think if we did what we should do or feel would it be easier?

I think the main problem with us as people we tend to over think or perhaps overreact with our emotions and we end up doing the opposite end of what we should be doing with ourselves.

We should act on what we do and be more present with those that we care about however, sometimes feeling something and doing it is just what we should be doing.

I know I am sounding like this “Delhi lambi”, spelt wrong I know, that is exactly what we are acting like fools and doing things opposite end of what we desire to do..  🙂

For example:

Our emotions and our true selves are one are we that scared of rejection that we don’t do what we should do?  Or are we just inept of love, desire, lust, excitement, endorsement, a soul lost in a bowl of Heinz soup with many ABCD and even E’s from our alphabet soup that we loved to eat as kidz!

Strange isnt it!
Or really is it?

I cannot live like being unemotional and so strict in being numb with my emotions, I am an emotional female that loves, the idea of loving and I wont change for the world!

If I had to be real it would be who I am and much, much more and those that I would love to join would be those that want to be part of something more, and to me that would be awesome!

However, we cannot move mountains and mountains cannot be built-in a day or a week or even a few years… if it was up to me it would be but, I am not someone who can make people move quicker, faster, I can only be me and if that is all I am to anyone then I guess my life is going to be a bit solo and a little bit lonely.hqdefault

To love is to be present within your soul and to be open to possibilities of hopefulness and openness who know what tomorrow brings.

What is your thoughts?

Do you think we are that fragile that we cannot open up and say it, do it, feel it, or even live it?

I want to live who wants to join me?

I want to be love who wants to join me?

I want to experience live with people who care about each other does that sound so bad?

What is it that we seem to be missing on this journey?

When will you open up and show me your heart?

 

How important am I too you?


happy-friendship-day-fb-cover.pngFriendships, are

they important?

 

Why are friendships important?

 

If we are friends and I got you upset, angry, then why not tell me what I did so I can say I am sorry for making you angry!

Old friends that drift apart or away for reasons that make me think why?

I was chatting to a friend the other day and we often talk about many things in life .. things that make us happy, sad, our likes, dislikes, our pains our fun times or even we tend to talk about each others ups and downs in our present life.

That is what friends are for the only expectations we have of them is that they understand us and that we can say pretty much anything within a respectful and understanding manner.

I had no idea you felt that way…

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Sometimes we forget how to speak to our dear friends and we become self evolved within ourselves a bit and at times we over step our marks or our boundaries because our own lives are a little mixed up with perhaps stresses, misunderstanding, confusion, frustration, many factors that we tend to forget what is expected in a good friend, mate or an old ear that you tend to like to chat off.

I myself have said, many over bearing things to mates that I shouldnt perhaps don’t think for one moment that I don’t say, “Oh, shit, WTF, did I just say?”

I am sorry if I hurt you…

We get upset when people don’t hear our words, listen to our advise and expect our mates, friends, family to listen when given good advise I suppose that comes from not listening which gets us so upset and angry, scared and then we tend to close off because it all gets too hard .

It isn’t because we don’t love them it is because we love them that we shift away from them I guess, it’s like saying, “I love you, but, I can’t be near you”.pexels-photo-888992

I myself with my girlfriend  have done this many times for our own personal reasons but, with time and love we always reunite because a true friendship isn’t built nothing it is built on many levels of understanding and years of good times that we invested within each other.

We are only human and we must not expect too much from one another…..

I wrote this because many of us have this experience in our lives so don’t be so harsh on one another because your friendships are valuable and they exist because it is built on many beautiful levels of love, trust, communication, your similar like and a strong bond that isn’t taken ever for granted.

Remember, live isn’t easy and we all do our best to be our best sometimes however, walls tend to be created over nothing but, misunderstanding, lack of communication and it is never, ever taken for granted.tumblr_m41ofnx1Hg1rsc47to1_250

Always remember this – communication shuts down only because what you havent said, how your really feel, the friendship is shut down because you’re not telling each other the truth about each others lives..

Being Silent isn’t being a friend!

We stop ourselves because it gets hard to communicate or our mouths are shut due to the truth.. if we told each other the truth then we would talk more often..

If you care about me then tell me…

I am your friend… you can tell me anything… that you hate me.. that you like me that you are sorry, that I hurt you… that you’re not listening…. then that is what being a friend is all about being able to speak… to each other…

Talk to me .. don’t ignore me….

Our lives are short on this planet .. always open your mouth say what you mean and let’s be friends because at the end of the day it isn’t about quantity it is about quality.

 

Remember we are not mind readers so if we piss you off tell us.. say it.. don’t just say nothing…DWTQzc_VMAA0B5P.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“WE ONLY KNOW WHAT WE ONLY KNOW”

 

We are only what we are… this is because of what we only know….

It is better to say something to one another than to say nothing… be kind, be respectful, be open, be you, because that is all we as friends ever want from each other.

Love and Friendship is always very close…. why?

Well, you share so many beautiful experiences with each other.. we are not perfect that is what makes us so damn unique… every relationship starts off as a friendship so why wouldn’t you be you….

Nothing to lose right…..

Just be mindful of each other and remember to pause… let the other one speak… think about your words.. and always end a call with “I love you” …. xxx

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Remember to be kind…. you cannot make someone understand if you Do Not Paint that picture openly and honestly… so how can you get upset when you didn’t tell them how you really feel…. or what the truth is……we are all wrong when we shut down… not one side is innocent.. remember that…. xxx

We all try hard to be better if I am not getting better then tell me….

I can only do what I understand… not what you understand…..

 

We are NOT Animals….


Funny this statement always makes me giggle, laugh, think of moments a voice in the far left or right corner of your home.. says loudly and clearly..

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL…..download (4)

My response is No you are not an animal, we seem to do things and make silly judgements on ourselves and those that we care about and many that we seldom now within our scope of life.

However, everything we do I am sure we don’t intentionally do to hurt each other or even harm one another.. I guess, sometimes we get a bit confused, a little scared, a fear that creeps into our head and the next thing we notice is that we come out looking like we don’t have feelings..

This isn’t true….

We all have those feelings that scares the shit out of us, you, me, them and him or even her however, when you try to be brave that seems to stop you from being brave.. if that makes sense..

I never really intentionally or perhaps I tell a fib – When I say something nasty I am angry, I am hurt, I want to understand why you didn’t find it okay to tell me that you ..

Like me?

Hate me?

Think I am crazy?

Why is it so hard to say things that mean something that is good or even if I piss you off then tell me and I will do my best (depending if I like you) he he I will at least try to stop the intense hatred inside me (that was a joke)

Hehe

Oh, god, we are definitely a handful or perhaps I am… whatever works or floats other people s boats….th (1).jpg

Mine well I think I am either got terits or a really am crazy as a loon..!!

Either whatever, I am me…. and I do love and care about those Animals that I fondly would pat, feed, kiss, cuddle, hijack and take away on a dirty weekend.. oh sorry doing it again…..

Seriously, though, I will improve with time… just like a good Port, Wine, or even a depressant that is called a GIN 🙂

Respect and Love always Franny xxximages (17).jpg

Moving on….Letting Go….


 

Don’t Start your day like everyone else ….

Start your day with something POSITIVE and MEANINGFUL in your ear..

 

 

This video is absolutely amazing to listen to… Change is so easy however, even with all my tools and sometimes I wonder “do I really have them”, I feel that I still have so much to learn about me….

When you go on a journey you must understand a few basic things… learn and then let those harsh realities of what occurred go….

You must let it go…..

the truth is unless you let go…..

unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation…….

unless you realize that the situation is over….

You cannot move forward ….

in your journey until you LET IT GO….

 

This part above is what I am trying to do… However, I must try harder.. for me.. so from now on….. peace to those I love but, it is time for me to let it go….

 

Franny x

Let’s Embrace what is Coming


I seem to blog a lot these days maybe I find it therapeutic and I find it relaxing without the heaviness of people’s voices telling me how to breathe, how to live, how to love, what to do, what not to do, when to do it, don’t do it like that, you’re not doing it right, why does anyone have such an opinion on what others do when their own existence is full of drama, stresses, they seem to critic you and never themselves?

Is it because we allow them to do this or is it a granule sneaky thing that those that are louder, smarter or perhaps word smiths that they have worked you out?

If so that to me is sad that you have found a place to take all your stresses out on those that give you more than what you spend, I don’t get it… is it okay, to take someones love and then figure out just how to destroy the best part of another person because you know they will put up with it?

Okay, or is it that the person is so selfish that they have everything that want and want you too?wpid-369

I could never take something from someone if they don’t benefit themselves – this would be made up of love, a mutual respect for each other and a life that is full of respect, communication, endless adventures and a pure belief of what is next that “we can enjoy and laugh, love and experience these wonderful things our planet has with others that we love as well”.

That to me is living a life full of love respect and most of all abundance of beautiful kind friends that enjoy your company and visa versa..

I have all this love to give and I feel so sad that I cannot share it with people who get it??

I could cry my eyes out right now just so everyone could understand that living now in the moment is all and everything anyone should want to do with one another..,.499442a018bc0cc244dbb0fed3eede48-past-present-future-quotes-life-lesson-quotes-e1511020340433.jpg

So, enough of the what could be…. I now am more focused on what I should do… and with that I am happy because to be honest the past has passed and the future is not here yet.. and that is exciting don’t you think?

My Sky is stormy but my future is clearer..


Today was one rather revolting day I would rather not repeat again!!!

This is around all those good things we all want from friends, family and especially those we love and marry and those that we hoped that would rise above and see the true essense of what being happy is all about.

Toxic Environment is where people live and breath deceat they would rather use negitivate language, prey on people that are easy to render because once upon a time they where those nice people that loved so lovely….

For some reason to hate makes you feel better? Funny it is the easiest and the cruelist way to live a life but most love it because they know if they allow themselves to feel, be loved allowed themselves that beautiful essense of feeling then they too will fall victim to cruel people who thrive on a spirit that we all love to be surrounded by.

Cruel Intent and those who love to gloss lies.. because what for?

Popularity?

The story isnt horrible enough you want to apply more hatred to something that was already rotten?

Far out this society is full of nasty, lazy, controlling, abusive, people that take, and they take and they will take more and more until someone dies?????

For the victims that die they died because not one person that they felt deep inside was going to be there for them… to grab them when they fell… you cannot abandon vunrable people you should never hurt people who are fragile, ready to crack … why on earth would you do this to another????

It is dangerous it is so toxic and it is soul destroying to those that are doing the best they can with what they know….

I myself can feel that rage, that feeling of desparation that you feel when your alone, scared and you feel like not one person cares about you .. its a really dark place I have been there when I was 21 years old and I stopped someone from continuing humillating me then I settled because I had no others tools to help me grow or even understand what that means..(I so wish I did) if I did I would be a amazing women with whatever she desired which would be only happiness.

I am not a mean, cruel and even have that part of me that wants to hurt another that is not me and will never be me ever.. I find it the most cruelest expression of anyones character to make another feel less than they should be.

I love to love and be loved and have someone that loves me that is what I have always wanted to be and have.. I am not a fluffy person or a person that takes from another I am a person that wants to laugh and laugh, love and be happy with others…

It takes alot to be cruel, lie, cheat and do what most people on this planet do to each other for whatever reason they do it.. but, for me I would rather walk away learn and even if I am sad, crying and feel that my life is over it is better that I do this then live a life with someone that cannot see my journey going forward..

So, time for me to reflect and think better and clearer… try to be kind to each other dont tear people apart because you could end up with destroying you….

And them……. so take a big breath in and exhale love…….if feels good right 🙂

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So this is it kids… my last bit before making a better journey

No person on this earth should make another feel less than and if they do.. then they are not worth it..

I love those that want to love and that is enough for me.. I would rather live breath and exist under a bridge with good people or by myself than with someone that takes every inch of your spirit from you.

I am a person who has searched for her entire life for souls that understand this emotion, feels this essence I can’t live in a toxic nasty environment because if I do… I die…

It will destroy me and I know it so well, that I felt it today with my entire heart and my spirit took a turn that I hated with every inch of my soul…

If I ever EVER feel that emotion again… there will be no turning back there will be no fair wells or anything kind especially to those that made me feel that low..

I will leave and never ever think to feel you and want that memory in my mind… you will not exisit..

It is the hardest and the cruellest emotional killing that anyone can ever do to another… this is why people kill themselves because they feel alone and defenceless.

No words, I have no more words on this… all I have is this.. be kind to those that have fallen so hard and teach them that … kindness if you keep beating them with cruelty they will die..

its a fact..

 

Relationships MindSets…STOP the Bullshit and Start the GOOD SHIT!!


Disconnecting yourself by denying that it is possible to allow yourself to be Free of Fear…

This is about being present, talking about ones self by only using honesty and trusting your self firstly by letting go of past issues and trusting those chosen few that have been beside you still now.. bella, chino, the homeless person down the street… 

I believe in many, many things recently however, I wanted to share with you what I mean by letting go and trusting yourself and those who you allow to be in your life.

This post is about letting go of experiences that hurt you, that really truly tested your soul and could have made you do or perhaps stop you from living a life without regret.

I hope and with time I know as everyday my life is either struggling with issues or perhaps it is like a clear sunny day, I will not lie to you as I believe in being honest about me and how I see things going forward of course everything in life is never that set so I will say it better nothing has been mapped out so I am very aware that the future is much more open to experiences.

Imagine being Free of Fear.. Imagine trusting others is possible…

We repeat because new wiring is being planted into your brain and you are opening up areas that make you see life with a more free, loving, trusting nature… and that is amazingly brave of anyone to even think, feel or do such things…

Trauma, is a major problem in our society and will always be present unfortunately, however, we all are survivors and never, ever victims this is important for you to understand…

Without help some trauma victims never regain from that black pit of ourselves because our negative heaviness is so massive our minds cannot feel, see it , understand it or even put the damn thing in a sentence all because of this moment in your life that hurt you, made you feel betrayed and ashamed it was such a negitive drain that it wired it like lead into your mind and to remove it is like someone getting a saw and hacking at your thoughts and feelings just to help you see differently…

Your life is prescious, so DO NOT, allow your attackers to disable your future going forward…

For the last few years I have to say I have a mixed bag of emotions, mainly because that as a married couple with no children however, we do have these two gorgeous 4 legged hounds.. Bella and Chino, who reflects both personalities..of myself and my husband… however, he is definitely their favourite!

Anyway, our journey has taken us many beautiful shifting moments and many extremely emotional ones, it has tested us both as a couple, our values, how we work together as a couple, its made me start to have fears this was brought out while we would heat up after a discussion or you could say debate of the passive aggressive….

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However, it seemed to be mainly focused on a few area of my own mortality and this means going back and without me even understanding why to revisit my past… Yipes, many conversations some very funny, which is what I do when I talk about me or anything to do with me really I turn to humour to lighten the mood.. just incase the Volcano of a hidden Country at our home erupts and imploded the neighbours.

No-one is amune to Trauma, Depression, Anxiety even being Fearful…not even you MEN!!!

We noticed that even though I dealt with a lot of my past …. well, I really didn’t and I was a little upset about that I always without thinking give myself a hard time about how stupid, week, foolish, mouth, that I don’t ever make any sense and the language I used to use was too confusing and this made me think that I needed to find out why I had a few areas that annoyed me around speech and other things I noticed I could not face anything that could possibly in my mind hurt me..

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I was frozen solid and fearful of being all those horrid words about by those that I cared about or really thought which was silly but, I do so understand my feelings more now to the why I felt this..

Sometimes life gives us journeys to teach us many factors that we many be struggling with and this follows our path with us as we grow up or get older, or marry, have children and so on…. a friend of mine said, “You know that old story Fifi, if you don’t deal with it head on it will keep reminding you, to do so!”

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Our weekly chats when I was struggling to understand myself and him for that matter it then reared yet again and it would be stronger with a fear factor touch to it and the anxiety, most of all which I really hated the fear of being hurt, unloved, rejected, and not important those words I know are just words but, to me I was scared.. totally petrified that this emotional revoltingness was going to remain and my life that I thought was fine was a mere lie and I was just a joke for someone or others to laugh at when bored.. (see how I worded it revolting that language i used reminding me of those days that I was hurt, so your subconscious mind is so strong it will creep up and bite you on your butt with sharp teeth and deny you of trusting again)

Your subconcious only knows what you told it to know….

This negativity that holds so tightly is only brought up because your subconscious is alarming you of that same feeling and how did that make you feel?

You got hurt, you got drugged, you were told by your best friends that you stole money from a business and your felt betrayed, hurt, they made you feel emotions that you never thought they would make you feel so your trust that you had once decreases until you have none for anyone else…

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Even your wife, your friends, family members as well.. I did it.. I am still doing it.. but, you are doing it to you and your making me feel bad because you cannot allow yourself to trust me so you put this doubt in me… and then you are happy again because that feeling of negativity, fear is now passed onto that person you love.. not you…

Teach your subconcious another way to communitcate our Subconcious can be kind too so remember to be kind to you…

Before anyone says this…. it isn’t your fault, it is a wiring bonded emotional neuron that has been wired so solid inside your brain because once … you were hurt, you were betrayed by people who you once loved and held so highly…

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So hopefully Honey, and those that care so much about us it is our turn to try to make sure with each time these emotions arise to recognise them and not get angry at another or fear that area that can bring your emotions down and affect you and those you would rather not affect..

STOP BLAMING others… and start training your brain to trust your positive thoughts…

Trauma and PSTN, both or even Rape are very soul-destroying emotions of deep darkness that I from time to time had and when they appeared they hurt like someone had stabbed me with a sharp knife and twisted it so harshly my gutts right then fell to the floor..

Sounds dramatic I know but, without a word of a lie that is exactly how I felt .. and I knew it wasnt real.. I just never could deal with it because frankly I didn’t have the understanding (tools) to deal with it.. So, I learned to understand them and it made me reflect about areas of my past childhood, young teen, young adult, wife, mother, ex-wife, single mother, and it was so life changing in many events and so damn life destroying in other events in my life..

Being nieve and honest people didn’t care about that amazing attribute of others or themselves, even back then when computers just came onto the market we had none of this nonsense about naked girlfriend pics, free naked cams, dating sites wanting to do gang bangs.. this whole world didnt exist yet and that was scared because to be honest we are only talking about 30 years ago maybe to some that alot but it really isnt many years.

Always be real, never lie or fluff up a story this isn’t healthy for you…

What we had been people who would lie to your face, have no remorse and do it again and again, then jealousy from girlfriends that thought you didn’t deserve a home because they could not think past themselves by saying that they did and I didnt…

Or Friends who promised the world and gave nothing but, decent, lies, dishonesty, and fraud and pulled you in with them because they wanted your money not YOU…

We should never deny ourselves of anything that will test your beliefs and test your boundaries because this my dear readers is the best parts of honesty..

It was such an enormous disappointment after disappointment I was shattered, I was just about done until I entered the twightlight zone of “How the fuck I ever got into bad situations over and over… anyway..  sorry went over board with this thought..

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Get back on track…. So, my entire wiring was really not correct everything I believed in wasnt true and I felt guttered and alone… and even this made me feel these things it actually amazing to be able to have feelings after years of trauma that I went through..

Why would you say… the opposite of the truth just because of an insecurity of something that you have never felt before?

I said, Wow, that feeling of joy I was happy to feel… that felt truly happy and so thrilled that feeling that I had not felt in such a long time came back.. and I smiled..

So journeys are helped by your dearest partner mine is my hubby, and his dearest afar friend who was a bit of a wiz on PTSD, shhh even though he refused to admit that I heard him many times denying that factor.

Imagine, your life going forward with a better sunset this can be done… You can do it… If I can you can…

Why on earth would you deny yourself, your family, your loved ones of experiencing love or emotional calmness … just because you cannot understand another persons feelings..

If you do not have empathy of another and only yourself…then I am sorry.. this is not a good emotion to feel and you need to deal with this non emotion that your feeling but, denying yourself and those you care about by saying NO or I don’t understand you.. or your thoughts…

We all do it .. we protect ourselves so severe that we forget that … that is the Nasty illness you are allowing this illness to spread into your mind and beliefs by denying any thoughts of that make you feel insecure of yourself..

If you wish to live a happy life full of endless moments you need to let go of your doubts, and allow yourself to feel those feelings that made you feel hopeless, sad, fearful, suisidal.. there is another way to live your life healthier..

 

If you don’t let go..and spread this disease to those that you care about just because for that instant you doubted your existence or your ideal, power, alpha or even your ego that obviously is still very present at a later part of your life.. to make such a toxic aura around you…

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If you do not deal with your own past or the reasons why you felt that way and denied another to have feelings by stripping those traumatic episodes by using that language and understanding that crippled her I believe that this then turns into a thoughtless, heartless game play of using a powerful trigger by making another feel less that you feel about yourself…

The payback is devastating ….why you become a numb person and you do it and deny it over and over .. you are amune to seeing anything other than that perfect safe place you hold so closely all.. because it made you upset and it made you feel something you didn’t want to feel…

We fear things that we don’t understand,we fear those hurt moments as a child and crying alone by yourself asking what you did so wrong to those that you love..

 

We turn to people you trust and they lie and make you the BAD PERSON, and this negativity grows and so does your walls of denying yourself of a happy beautiful life all because of something, someone did to you once upon a time, many years ago and it made you feel worthless, this can eat your life up and it will destroy you and those souls that love you so very much!!

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It did me, at times that feeling comes back by silly remarks of people who are in that same boat of denial… and it feeds like a disease that is so toxic it will kill you, it will make you want to kill yourself, isolate yourself, it will make you angry, make you say things that you normally would not say to one another…

Our brains only know what we believe in and what is surrounded by us…. so if we are around parents that fight, well, in time you will at one point use that same language and behaviour, or if a loved one broke your heart , stole money from you or you were accused by your friends, and those you trusted that you stole from them..well, what do you end up doing…..

Your wiring of your brain is corrupted with doubt, fear, denial, jealousy, trust, belief of the truth of others and you will only recall .. those moments that will drag you back to times when you could justify your wiring that is so damning to your soul that your life going forward..

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Never give up… you deserve to live a full life no-one has the right to take this away from you… NO ONE!!!

1 time my darlings… 1 time… this is it………………for me if I cannot at least give myself a little bit of freedom of not feeling like someone is going to kill me, hate me, betray me, then I never, ever learned and I will be nothing but, unhappy and stuck in feeling a deep sadness of never believing in me and those that kill themselves to have you with them…

I felt a loss within myself for such a long time and I even wanted to fall asleep and never wake up..  Those emotions are unhealthy and can and will kill you … So let me help you… You are not alone, trust me…

We all are together… so let’s find a new wiring and trust those souls that we put all this effort and love and funny moments with bloody, swet and moans…

Give yourself a go.. and let this shit go…………………….and LIVE it ….. email me if you require help and I will be happy to find it for you….

https://www.facebook.com/groups/the3wishes/

Many thanks and much love to my husband Courtney, because without you my darling, our beautiful, tragic, uneven with moments of endless loving I could never live my life fully without you beside me..your wife xxx

This place isn’t about Love……. it’s All about LUST!!!!!!


As she comes into a room and says it how it is…… ….

It isn’t about LOVE it is all about L U S T

https://thecandiiclub.com/2018/08/21/love-is-the-answer-you-know/

So, funny, I posted this comment (the above link) on a Website which I will not name, and it seems to some that Love isn’t the answer it is about LUST!!!

All about LUST, not love…… okay!

However, I was actually talking about marriage and couples that love each other and do what they do together..oh, well, perhaps I must be more clearer with my titles that I use in future.. damn it…… damn it…..

Silly me, naughty, naughty, get it right sweet innocent one…. (me I am talking about geezz)

That is fine I was referring to a majority of people or couples not referring to my total thoughts on what I think… or was I????

Or really what you think your justification of what you do with your husband…. go figure… I must, I must increase my ASS pictures, then I will know everything it is to understand about LUST….. sheesh I am still learning NOT!!

…..in case some didn’t get it that as me being sarcastically humourous sort of 🙂

Challenging, right? No? Yes? Perhaps? ………….ANNOYING RIGHT!!!!

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Wow, so quickly we judge, it is like talking to someone and suddenly they are finishing your answers so, so, so BAD Candii xxx

It is also about Listening, something I have recently learnt, it is also about patience, understanding, communicating, trusting, lusting if you wish and having hot erotic sweetly, nasty  and most of all spank sex right!

Which is something I must be lacking ATM, oh the Gods, please hear me roar, or those that wish to hear me, feel me, touch me, fuck me…. go figure……

So your talking about this??

 

Love is the Answer you know!!!! Or is it?????


Rewarding oneself with the Temptation of a moment of Selfish Satisfaction!!!

How stressful life would be to sneak around, hide all those apps you protect so much, head down into your mobile phone searching for a moment of Satisfaction from receiving a message, a kiss, a loving gesture that will only matter for that moment until the next person comes along!!

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Why on Earth would you do it , when you could experience beautiful moments with that person you chose so many years ago!!

By all means experience endless possibilities together as a couple, but, what is it about having that Cake and wanting another behind their back?

The stress alone will kill ya, don’t you think?

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“I love you to the moon and back”, so clique, or is it?

Beautiful sayings of devotion, love, a desire to tell another that you love them!!

We all want to be loved, however, we don’t want to put so much work into it, right?

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We then put so much stress and devotion into keeping those who you so-called love, and then looking, searching continually for something to fluff up your EGO!!

All because your insecure about yourself and you think so very little of that beautiful person that you once loved so dearly?

Or did you ever love them in the first place?

Let’s face it … maybe your incapable of loving another person solely, maybe we all are?

Are we that dissatisfied with ourselves that we put so much effort in attaining something that isn’t going to last or only last for a moment!

We then put away the mobile, computer walk away, get angry with those that have nothing to do with what “you did”. but, we then justify ourselves by blaming another for how your actions are deep inside yourself..

I have no answers just questions, many of them…. so I ask, and ask and ask, you are probably wondering why I ask?

Well, because I feel that we don’t use our whole potential as being open, honest with our feelings with one another we choose to hide, not totally tell the truth because we are all scared of rejection, being labelled, looking like a fool, cheater, mean, cruel, selfish, all those and more…

Well, I am going to say it how it is…

“Humans are Selfish”, they want too much and give too little, we all do it, we lie, we cheat on ourselves mostly, we discount our own intelligence, we never stop for one moment, do we?

The Note book, Love this movie, especially this, it is real, true, and it is bound by devotion, love , desire, a true pain in the ass feeling however, passionate with every word they both say to each other….love is hard, it means work and nothing is ever easy..however, it is when you put the hard work into it….

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Sexual desires, an urge, a consistent dilemma where you’re wanting validation of your own need or is it just not enough in your own life that you wish to be part of another life for your own tick box?

I really don’t have that answer just yet!

There seems to be an acceptance of “my right to do as I feel no matter at what cost”, we big note ourselves with our “Huge Ego’s, by selling ourselves in a scene that says, “About me”!

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How huge is dating sites on the internet?  Multi-Media dating or I would call it perhaps a self-satisfaction of validating the worst kind of validation which is “Rewarding oneself by selling our souls so you can feel attractive, attainable, sexually desired, even possibly a validation of self-worth.”

So, at what cost?

Let’s look at searching for sexual validation, self-worth within your self, lack of love,  a pure desire to be adored, attractive to another, desired for being a nice person, all these emotions are deserving – however, only to those that are single, looking for love or perhaps are not in a loving relationship however, why stay in a relationship that makes you feel the opposite of what you are looking for within that Married lifestyle?!

Well, sad, happy, belated, whatever, you wish to call it…. it is a bit like this…. “You want your cake and you wish to eat someone elses or perhaps have another piece”.

Very sad indeed, easy enough to fall into this trap of “Selfish, love, more so it is very lazy of you to do this when perhaps you could put the effort into your own life if you feel it is worth it, right?”

  • Now, what if you stay in this loveless carnival of bullshit, what then?
  • So, again it’s all about have more Cake, right?
  • My question is to those that are attached, if you don’t include your partner then why look elsewhere and stay in this marriage or partnership it cannot be because of children, or self-worth, or even a mortgage?
  • What is it that those that stay in a marriage also want more without that partner?

All that energy in sneaking around and making sure the other half doesn’t touch your mobile, or laptop computer, or heaven forbid your actually receiving love letters in the post! Ha! Funny, NOT!!!

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Perhaps as a couple we are both at fault, we should put in all this effort that we are putting out into the world with those we love, care about, right?

So, how is it that no ones cares enough to help each other – too hard, NEXT victim!!!

End of the day you will repeat it over and over and over again…. with the next person you meet…. until the day you die…. all because of selfish, thoughtless, stupid, ego hot heads who desires others to validate them as a person of sexual significance????

 

Please tell me if I am wrong???

 

The truth is…. it is BOTH,you are at fault!!!!!!

Why?

Because, you settled with someone who was not comparable to YOU!!!!!! Please tell me that I am wrong?

So, I will leave you with this video clip of what love may mean to some that have a Romantic bone in their body.. like I do…

Soul Mate – What does it mean to you?


What do you think is a True Soul Mate?

I believe soul mate comes in many forms of good will, it’s a person or if your lucky person(s) that could be your partner, best friend, a person who inspires you, loves you and you them for many reasons.

Soulmates is about two or more… not just one person…

They say true soul mates never really get together because it’s more like a walk through your life and you meet those different like-minded people who make you feel warm, loved, friends, adored, they click with your mind-set and make you feel comfortable and happy, sad, make you dream of things that are just beautiful and make you know you’re welcome in their life.

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We often come across beautiful souls that open doorways of hope, a place to imagine just how adored our souls are it’s when you find them they often stay for a little while, go for a long while or even settle and never leave you.

Sometimes they are kindred spirits of yourself and they are people who have know you before time started…

Soul mates are truly divine in so many ways, they are the essence of yourself and more so than that… we meet so many people in our lives they either make us happy, sad, disappoint us, bring ups up and raise our spirits, they give us hope and love in so many unexpected ways that sometimes it is difficult until they are gone from your life that you trully understand what they did for you.

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A true soul mate never really leaves, they are always around however, their soul can only give you what you give back to them maybe that is why soul mates never truly connect forever and stay only a little time in your life…

I am really not sure why they never stay… who knows, really what a true soul mate is I guess it is someone or even to some this will sound stupid it could even be a pet to those that understand what a true mate is…

For me a soul mate is my husband, my best mate, my dear friend, and a person who just gets you and enjoys you for you… Their expectations are never over the top nor is yours our souls are uniquely wired and for some I believe they are wired for those chosen few in our lives…

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A soul mate is the so uniquely wired and perfectly designed to unite with your soul life a perfect fit never over the top and always respectful to your every need that you both give to each other..

 

Maybe that is what a true soul mate is… once upon a time a very long time ago for me I believed in love at first sight!!  I personally, saw it like a light flashing before your eyes and then reality hits harshly and said to me, not for you, not now, until you have lived your life to understand what that truly means to you…

I could be wrong… what do you think a soul mate means to you??

When is it okay to forgive someone for “cheating’?


A cheating partner, a personal story of how we look at things in life!

What we as the partner would say that will allow us to say it’s okay?

Is it okay to cheat?

Have you ever been cheated on?

Why?

No?

Yes?

Maybe?

Perhaps it’s more about the why’s?

The justifcation of a partner that prefers to do it alone because they feel it’s “all too hard”, or is it because they require an outlet to be themselves?

Interesting and sad at the same time all because they feel it’s “them with the problem”, not you that cheats?

 

In your opinion, do you think we should forgive those that know no different?

Is it because they cannot be faithful?

Do they get bored?

What is your thoughts on partners that cheat?

When would you say it’s okay sweetheat I forgive you?

 

What would it take for you to forgive someone for cheating?

 

 

Blurting words on a Blog… seeing if anyone wants to read…


Today my day has been very tiring to say the least!

Emotionally spent is what I would call it!

Little energy, and a whole lot of disappointment I would put it… however, not in myself nor my husband or my family not really sure what I am trying to say!!

Just a bit tired I guess you could say a little under the weather today!!!

Selfish, as it maybe, but, I would be lying to say anything other that the truth!

What am I really saying to anyone that wants to read my silly banter on a blog?

Well, I would like to say a lot actually, and mostly nothing, just me saying stuff built out of emotional tiredness I guess, I watched by dad yesterday remissness about his brothers, sisters, Antonio (Vito) his brother that died at the age of 12 while getting hit by a car… his spirit was wild and naughty just like anyone who has a wonderfulness of vest in their life-like he did.

He took 12 days to pass away those days and these days would have made a difference but, to my dear dad that moment of talking about his brother made me feel so present of what life feels like when subjected to your own mortality.

Is life fair?

Not really, however, it all depends on what you want or expect from yourself and those that you love around you!

Plus, it also depends how much you put into your life, doesn’t it?

Or does it?

So,  sounds melancholy the way I am typing this and to be perfectly honest, what am I trying to say, maybe something or nothing, I really have no answer…

So, when is it that we actually start to open up our own lives to see what we have done that was that special on life?

What is it that we want to do that will make us all so happy enough to go, I lived a good life?

And what is a good life when you are facing your own exit?

I guess we will one day find out what that truly is, right?

Bloody hormones, menopause, not taking tablets, being 50, loving it, hating it, who really knows what it is all about.. Just blurting words and feelings on a blog that most don’t want to read nor comment.. such is life I guess…

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A Curious Hungry lil’gal…


A lovely girl whom I will not mention has a few questions of life, love, a curious nature, a free spirit, a wonderment of wonderful asks, a naughty nature wanting more out of her own life and looking into the Taboo.

What to say, how to say things, interestings that some ladies are brave enough to have a voice and isn’t scared to say how she feels.. Sweetheart well done..

There are areas of life that I would love to chat to you over a coffee and not so much on multi media, I believe when areas of our own life is missing we tend to go to other areas of interest which is absolutely normal.

However, My curious lil’gal, I will advise you with the only means of what I know and that is my sweet Italian  is this….. if you are married and it isnt your husband you must ask yourself what it is that seems a miss with him first.

The only reason I say this is to be true to yourself lil curious nature, is that curiousity is fine from a distance which means, you don’t speak, have little chats and long talks on your coffee breaks … Unless, your own side of the fense is aware or is a lost cause.

Never, ever, believe a man that says to you, or at least ask your husband to clarity what “anything means”???? “you can do anything you want as with a man as long as you don’t sleep with him”, I would ask him in detail what that was firstly and the other thing I wanted to say about that statement is WTF does that mean?

Sorry I would actually say it like that, WTF does that mean sweet heart? 

Now, I know you and I believe that your interest is innocent, however, that is where it all starts, my advise is tread very carefully, with this young squirt, because his brooding brow, luring longing to be saved by a much older women who has a cheeky laugh and a curious hungry nature may get herself into trouble 🙂

Now, I say these words with loving and caring with a tad of cheeky sarcasm, yet, I will tell you a wise word of good advise.

If you want to stray because your keen eye, your curious nature, is very, very and very curious, your at that beautiful age like me that your hungry for sexual attention I get it.. but, I have to say my doll, I could never stray with a cat that isn’t quite sure which side of the fence he prefers to bend too.. And I believe your history is limited with a few roving eyes of yours.. and a husband that you married a while back..

Italian girls are very wicked I get it and by nature your passionate, beautiful female inside and out, not all stray dogs are and I believe that you will get hurt if you ponder too much towards him and perhaps hubby may end things with a bang.. or not..

I have been in situations that wasnt pleasant Lil’gal and it ended up with Mental Health issues, plus, a heart that was totally destroyed emotionally deep inside …

So, darling girl, remember never stray unless your want to see yourself single, and free of guilt… because my dearest, you maybe taken for a ride.

Or at least watch from afar and that way no one is hurt…

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Just a few wise words of keeping you safe… bless xxx

Question Time People… if I get enough people to answer.. I was thinking about doing this with Prizes…. but, let’s see if others Answer any of my questions….


So ladies, I have a few questions for you if you have the time to answer 🙂

I wanted to find out what others thing of our preferred preferances in our life and todays society as we call it…What is missing in todays social stream, or perhaps friendships or how about this.. what does it take for you to call a friend a friend?

Us girls seem to love having friendships with either other girls or some girls prefer friendships with men, am I right?

  •  Which do you prefer to have a chin wag with Men or Ladies mates?
  • Why do you prefer it?
  • And what is it that you like about your choice of chatter?

 

Let’s chat ladies and if men wish to answer that would be nice…… let’s see if we get a few to answer some simple however, could be an interesting banter. I would prefter you to be brutally honest…..

End of a Journey… or Is it?


So, how does a Journey End, well, normaly,  I guess it would sound a bit like this, it is with love, respect, fabulous chemistry, trust, definately, communication that I will ever know in my life.

Then I would perhaps thank those who we had multiple times in the sack with and I would go into many experiences and even probably a sex hot story or two…right!

However, I cannot really tell a lie, it’s been close due to our minds thinking it.. is that an experience or is it a story in your head?

Hmm???

I am not an expert on the art of Sexual Taboos love to tell you a different story but, alas I would be lying, and that well, isnt me.

I guess we all have limitations and at times mostly fears mainly because we don’t tend to focus more on the positive side of life… It seems that people gravitate to a negivate picture of life rather than the positive which in fact is a damn shame.

I have a very limited sexual past damn it, that could be because I was married young, and it could also be those choices that we make in life well, end up being experiences that we need to work on further. “SHIT REALLY? NO”

For men though that old saying, “The World is my Oyster”, bless them for having that beautiful, birth right, as a man, you have the ability to do pretty much anything without even being slammed really.  I suppose that is the best part of being a male, they can sleep with as many women as they want, because let’s face it they are legends, and you know what why the “hell” not, really.best-sex-songs-of-all-time-kiiroo_2048x

So, I heard a funny news heading, the other day it was, “women have two choices, they can either be a “good girl or a “whore” unfortunately, there is no other choice for us girls.

Well, you could pick other sexual likes if you wish however, it really isnt the same is it!

So, ending of a era perhaps, it is, who really knows, no expectations ever was really set in stone, I guess if you “wave a magic wond” and the girl will turn into a slut for the evening without any repacutions, then that would be ideal, right?

Slut, what a word, jesus, that is the most horrid name a girl could be called, however, it all depends on how that is constructed in a story really, lol

I thought I was open, honest enough, I thought I did my best at connecting, loving, being a loving wife, however, I do believe, that perhaps, I was a little “wilfill”, perhaps a little “outspoken”, maybe a little “Rebellious” if you wish.

I have used bad language, but, I cannot seem to be able to cheat on any of my past partners, and definately my husband Courtney, I have loved that man since the day I met the blue eyed, long sandy, haired beach bum, that I remember walking into my home in Mt Hawthorn.

Talk about a journey of two willfill, outspoken, hugely loud individuals that we where and always have been, we have loved hard, we have fought hard but, we did both work very hard to making it to 21 years in October the 16th.

Does everything last forever, I had hoped so, who knows, it could, maybe, however, who knows what happens tomorrow perhaps if you have a crystal ball, you could tell me what our outcome will be that would be nice.

I had visioned many, many experiences of openness, honesty, trust that only those who worked hard for it could possibly master that title of a beautiful word..

Trust, true, loving, devoted, honoring, they are beautiful words that make you swoon right?, however, as we all yearn for Connection, finding that like-minded partner, we tend to walk our path which we talk about a lot..

concentrate on the path, stop looking for that damn squirrel, it will bite you, I am telling you, both of us always tend to get a bit bored on our path of life or perhaps frustrated in trying our asses off in getting there.  Suddenly, you find reasons not to walk the path and your then both with each other on the same damn path but, I always laugh about that squirrels we would always have in front of us or back of us.. all depends. (that was a joke)

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The Squirrel, is basically a term for a different route to life because I guess that is just a human aspect of our characters we all get a little stuck on something and before you know it our sight is forming on a different route because it entertains our minds.

I got a bit side tracked there, I am a little upset tonight, I guess, I am having a bit of a shit evening thinking of my future of being a counsellor and a sexologist, why? well, I guess it’s because perhaps I may not be as open-minded as I thought I could be.

I had this vision of helping those who needed our help forming a team of great minds with huge experiences, by empowering couples, singles, young adults in giving them “tools” to live a life better, happier, sexier, open with each other.
In doing this though of course I had to be open, honest, and probably think out of the box by putting ourselves in boxes that normal everyday couples don’t or wouldn’t dare.

Why? Funny, well that is how you experience life, you’re a better counsellor or sexologist by talking to couples who are out there swinging, saying and doing things that other couples wouldn’t do because well, its taboo of course.

Not just Taboo, risky, too hot for us kinda, I really didn’t get that far, nor would have maybe that’s my problem, who really knows, I listened very well, I struggled with us both having behaviour (mostly me).

Limitations due to disagreements of  little bumps  that can come up, and that worried me why? Well, because my hubby is important to me.. and I was trying to understand how this could ever work.. without drama, agruements, etc.. so you tend to watch each other and make decisions based on what you know.. and perhaps that is the wrong thing..   What you know, is what you know?

So, what if it worked out????????

That my friends is the BIG question… however, ego, pride, jealousy whichever, could get into a messy, messy moment so, perhaps we talked too much and never did it..

that isnt a bad thing.. its a loving thing.. respectful, but, not a spontanious thing… if there is no connection, understanding or even a mind that is like minded then why would you be that stupid for male on male or female oh you get my point…

Risks are BIG or NOT…. you need to work that little bugger out…. now dont you??

And many times I felt no fear and so wanted to open up turn around and see what I life I actually decided to slow it down to make sure this is what he wanted and of course I wanted as well.  Our marriage is important to us and so are our friends, family and people that we socially know and I am not one for liking that hurt factor especially, if I have never experienced a connection that we all could experience or together I really have no answer to things I don’t understand nor let alone experienced.

I did ponder and my husband did on Redhotpie, to see what was out there and many other sites, and I have written some of what I have seen and it is a bit of a difference of likes and kinks out there which is healthy and as most would call it Taboo..

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So, how do you know if you can do such things? GOOD question!

I guess behaviour, has alot to do with it, if your living life and enjoying your life together and growing and understanding and loving then you have no hick ups.  However, if you see hic ups, of anger, broodiness, and just not quite there yet, you tend to slow it down until you see those roses I guess.

It can possibly hinder your marriage, I have to say, it has pushed us both into a bit of disputes we seems so fustrated so you commuicate to understand why right?

Let’s face it Brave it is… it takes alot of trust, and love, and you must always, always, talk to each other especially those hard difficult talks.. you know, those talks of honesty, those are the ones that get you both hostile from time to time because you could both disagree or perhaps agree.. 

We are all different

This is good, to do, and if you can do this without a arguement then all lights are green it’s fine weather right!  Well, life isnt that simple, now is it we all have bills, fustrations, road blocks, we both have different personalities and ideas of how that looks and it is an interested talk but, at times can easily get lost in translation and a little insulting towards each other too.

This is normal though, just sometimes I guess your obsticles can get stuck a bit and we will then go into a different mindset called, “Ground hog day”, this is where we go over, and over the same talk until we are wanting the conversation STOPPED!

Sound familuar, yuppers, too familuar, but, of course it is healthy because you care and love one another and you both dont want to be misunderstood!

Well, I guess, even those taboo goers may talk about this with each other of course it would be much different because they live that life style and really it  is part of there lives so what they talk about isnt what we talk about..

I have limitations as a female, I have been in situations that you would call not good, and for me it was important to make sure that we both where safe so we spent alot of time talking and sometimes we wouldnt and those times where good times.

Life together as a couple is either easy, hard, difficult or no way, we have church on Sunday and we better eat the bread of christ so, there is no naughty naughty, right!

So, is it over?

Time will tell, and I guess, or hope it isn’t but, this isnt easy, wish at times it was, and funny enough the more you talk, the more you talk yourself out of a situation and then it turns into a spat a tac.

Fustration comes to mind, remember a good connection is all about being honest, open, trustworthy and loving if you find any of those emotions lacking then you need to refocus because it will tarnish and harm your beautiful marriage.

The yeses, become no’s and when they are questioned sometimes incequirities arise where they never rose before.. why? well, tabboo county comes to mind, and parts of your inner self does tend to get stuck on something that even a elephant may have trouble in explaining whys, could bes, of course and definately NO’s.

Just focus on your Communication, trust, openness, a want for both partners, never leave a partner back in the car park wondering which lane to park the damn car, this could take years and lots of tears..

And most definately Enjoy your lives because we only have 1 life so experienc it with openess and most of all love… very important..

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Candii xx

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