Tag Archive for ‘me’

Managing Expectations in a Casual Relationship


Go Figure… me? Well, I don’t seem to ever put expectations on most evenings however is that wise? I would say No!

For me after I marry I am not well available.. however, as we age and live together longer who bloody knows.. But, and alwaYS a But, the only way I would dabble in the naughty is with him……. not without….. so that is my difference.. That is just me.. for those that are more open continue reading..

For some people, a casual relationship is nothing more than a one-night stand. For others, it can mean having a long-term sex partner without co-mingling living situations, families and finances. Either one of those options and the variations in between can be had and can be wonderful. It all starts with managing your expectations.

State Up Front What You Want
Be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. If those things aren’t okay with the person you’re chatting up, don’t try to talk them into something they don’t want to do or say anything – especially if they’re outright false promises or lies – just to get them into bed. That’s something desperate losers do.

Don’t Expect People to Change
There are a lot of people, especially women, that believe that if the sex is great, that the other person will keep coming back for more or want to develop something more than just a casual relationship. Luring someone in by entrapment never works out or ends well. It’s also dishonest.

Don’t Make Too Many Compromises
Be completely comfortable and accepting with what the other person wants and has to offer in a casual relationship. If you give up too much, you’re going to regret being in the situation you got yourself into. You are entitled to have your casual relationship be a good and happy thing, sexually and otherwise.

When Emotions Get Lopsided
As much as people can tell themselves that a casual relationship is “just sex”, sex is loaded with emotions. After all, sex feels great. Right? A lot of those “feel good” emotions can lead to attachment. That’s why open communication is so important. Talk about your casual relationship as it evolves. If feelings for and expectations of each other aren’t mutual, it’s easier to deal with the situation sooner than later.

Be Friends
Like the person, you’re hooking up with. Be decent, kind, thoughtful and respectful. If you can’t do or be those things, don’t expect a hot sexual vibe in return. If you feel like that’s a chore or obligation, the other person will sense that and think you’re an asshole, and no one wants to have sex with an asshole. And if you don’t like the person you’re hooking up with or if you’re not having fun like friends of any other type do, your sex is not going to be fun.

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If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

A Word About Respect
I recently came upon a blog discussion thread where a bunch of men were complaining about the way women disrespect them. Everyone is entitled to respect but it’s earned both ways. If you don’t treat people well, hold up your responsibilities, or keep your word, the other person has every right to be pissed off with you. Being in a casual relationship doesn’t mean that you can be casual about manners and courtesy.

Finding a Casual Sex Partner isn’t Necessarily Immediate or Easy
Even if there are hundreds or thousands of potential casual sex partners on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean that you should expect sex on demand or instant gratification. It might take weeks or months to find or cultivate an eventual hookup. Remember that you’re dealing with available people and not just available bodies. Just because someone is available for a casual relationship doesn’t mean that they owe you sex.cropped-images-62.jpg

This is now the time to be present and begin this Journey today..


Lets talk about being Present within yourself and within those that you share you lives with socially and explisitly, without judgement, bullshit, just enjoy and have so bloody fun..

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They blame you instead and think it is funny….

We do deserve to be ourselves… we are not caged animals..are we??

Your journey, my journey, the popes journey we all have them and those that understand what that means in fact understand we all have limitations in our lives, however, this isnt about limitations…. I am talking about no LIMITATIONS.. going forward….

In fact let’s be real for a moment

We get to a point in our lives that we go on our personal journeys some include people that are the same mind set.. you would hope… some prefer to go naked and find new ones… some love that same simular smart mouthed larikin… I am one of those.. so is my hubby however, we also love to socialise with new exciting people who love life..

So, let’s shift and start doing because we should now be ready to walk side by side and enjoy life, right?life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc

I am ready, I know my hubby is… are you?

I had the best weekend and the efforts of my own self was firstly the most powerful, gob smacking, speechless, and devine moment I have had thus far…

In fact, I wanted to just stop and breath in this amazing awareness that I experienced I felt safe, I had no noise, I thought for one moment that my age was back as a young women where I seemed to really let go of things easier… or at least quicker..

However, this feeling was much better… Let me tell you

So, what is it going to take to be present and take that leap of faith?deep-connection-friendships

So, for me, my gorgeous, husband and hopefully anyone else that wishes to put up with our bad inappropriate behaviour, opinionated beliefs, excellent humour, and frankly we are pretty friggin annoying… couple but, yes any other that wishes to jump on board our pink jumbo elephant then by all means.. do so…

So from today which indeed I believe that we are all ready.. to have so bloody fun or at least get dressed up go out into this perth city and find a bar, view, beach, bottle of wine and have some really good fun.

Laughing, is the best start to any journey with those that you care enough about, get along with and have no limitations to expressing whatever you wish to say, feel, joke about with life can and will always be as hard and difficult as you wish… nothing is garenteed and that is what our entire life has been based on…

Below is all those emotions that we tend to have within us… have a look.. and embrace, and trust yourself… nothing to be lost… everything to be loved..

………………so what are you waiting for?? I am so excited to walk with a better skip rather than hesitation anymore.. done and dusted… let’s go and have some bloody fun… okay ?

BTW… nice choice of music xxx

What if you don’t even know… hmm?


The going consensus is that women in the lifestyle are either bi-curious or bisexual…

What if women don’t know if they are anything other than what they know?

Seriously, unless you are married to a person who questions I dunno, pretty much everthing that god has said not too… (shucks) If it was up to me remove the damn labels and find out for ourselves… this is also for men as well.. go figure how hard is life .. seriously people… moving on….images

Even though that may be very true for many, others still don’t wish for things to be labeled as there are only bi-sexual ladies in the lifestyle. After all, the lifestyle thankfully allows for variety in every single way imaginable!

Girls, Girls, Girls

A little research on this topic at travel events reveals that there are also those who can just appreciate a beautiful woman while still being very straight.

Then there are those who like to just kiss another woman without it going into a full-on sex session too. Of course, that could be somewhat of a stretch as at events, limits and boundaries are somewhat flexible.

Why is that?

Well, because apparently, and this comes from the mouth of the ladies themselves:

  • Women do kiss differently than men!
  • Really?
  • Yes, I am not that way atm… however, I have experienced women’s kisses… shock!! I have??? Nooooooo me who is straight god hell.. what is life going to do to me now???
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If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

 

Many ladies experimented in their younger years with their girlfriends. Word of mouth only goes so far after all!

They do???

No???

LOL, jesus, seriously?

So, What Gives?

When asked, it was mentioned that there is a significant difference in experience when kissing a woman instead of a man.

Kissing a woman is described as:

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  • just a bit lovelier, quite softer and deeper with a beautiful layer of delicacy. So now that we know that, do those kissing women then want to get “kissed” to change into a bisexual lady perhaps?

The answer, give or take a few: Oh no, not at all, of course the more the merrier, but it’s also awesome to be able to just kiss a beautiful woman without it having to go any further than that. No other expectations, period.

But do Women Prefer Women over Men?

The next logical question is: Do women prefer a woman’s kiss over the kiss of a man? And the answer again is no, it’s just considered different and more of a nice addition. Well, all in all, the men don’t seem to mind… On the contrary, a look, a flirt, a kiss, a touch and who knows where things will lead.

That very first kiss between women, what makes it so special? At SDC travel events you can witness this magic happen all the time. Threesomes and foursomes and moresomes are not an uncommon result either. Absolutely nothing is wrong with that, so by all means, if and when the urge hits you, kiss away ladies!

Each to their own I believe, baby steps, don’t beat yourselves up, and never, ever think life is as difficult as most would seem to think!

We are only human beings living in a world that seems to have everything bit like a candystore.. right so, please don’t make it harder than it should be by making it more difficult for each other.

Love and Trust, never say things like…. I don’t care if, or I am not bothered, or Never say to your wife… he or she is off limits because the question is why?

If you just relax a bit let them think … let them go .. if your not open to everything then stay home and watch a movie because if your not open.. then the door stays shut..

It is as simple or difficult as you make it.. if you start dictating to each other what you think it should be.. it does become quite difficult to understand each other and the next thing you both do is disconnect!9bcf8fe9f858a35a5bc9bbde2b4e3ddb

So, please pace yourselves…. relax….. and take your time…. be mindful of each others minds and hearts…. always allow one another to think for themselves and never tell each other that what they think and feel is wrong..

Let them work it out… for themselves 🙂

Candii xxx

Favorite

Quality Friendships


A true friend can have many different good qualities, but the qualities that add up to true friendship may be the most important.

 

Loyalty is a quality that everyone looks for in a friend.

loyal friend will stick with you no matter what the situation is and you can always count on them being on your side.

Qualities of a Good Friend:

As you read through these descriptions, envision your friends, and the ones who are truly quality will come to mind every time:

  • Your friend is a good listener. She doesn’t interrupt with her own stories, but encourages you to talk as long as you need. She is genuinely interested in you.

 

  • Your friend gives you space. She understands that you need time for other things in your life, and those things don’t endanger your friendship.

 

  • Your friend is forgiving. Maybe, in a fit of exasperation at something else, you were cruel or rude. Your friend understands.

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  • Your friend is reliable. When your friend says she will do something, she does. You don’t have to worry that she will let you down.

 

  • Your friend supports you through tough times. She shows up at your apartment with a bottle of wine because she knows you’ve had a rough day. She knows how to improve your mood and reduce your stress.

 

  • Your friend is trustworthy. You can tell your friend anything and know that she will keep it to herself.

 

  • Your friend helps you to reach your goals. Need an exercise buddy? She’s there. Need an emergency babysitter so you can attend class? She’s there.

Are You a Good Friend?

Friendship is a give and take.

It’s just as important to be a good friend as it is to have good friends, and it takes time and an openness of self to nurture a quality friendship. You know what qualities you value in your close friends; why not measure your own behavior to see if you could be a better friend? To be the best friend you can be:

  • Accept yourself as you are. Be realistic and secure about who you are. Insecurity and self-criticism push friends away.

 

  • Accept others as they are. Don’t judge. When your friends make mistakes, give them a shoulder to cry on, but only give them advice if they ask for it. Don’t belittle them or their choices.

When friends get together, it can be a positive and healing experience. Find the time to connect with your friends often. It’s much more important than a household chore or the latest episode of your favorite TV show. Call a friend for coffee or lunch, or just take a long walk and talk about anything and everything. It may just be the best thing you’ve done for yourself, and your friend, in a long time.download (5)

What is the best thing a friend has ever done for you? 

I am me… if you do not like me.. then see that door…


What can I say about this title many things….. Let me tell you….

Thus far, far out and how amazing is life!!!

We often forget who we are, how we got here, what moments was it that made us “Stop and Smell those bloody Thorns”.

Why the thorns, good question, why the hell not..

Nothing in life is easy or smooth let’s face it and if you say it is then we must be lying right!

So, in saying that I decided to say what I said, because I did!

Life is what it is.. It is what you want to make of it.. I cannot say to you the answer as I am still finding it myself..

And there is nothing wrong with that..

However, if you wish me to answer it.. it is made up on mistakes, winnings, many happy times, many sad times, disappointment, happy ever after times, its made of children that will put a smile on your face, loving moments that we all cherish, it is made of sadness when someone breaks your heart for the first time and it is made of many shades of blue, green, pink, yellow, red, orange, and I could go on.

  • It is also made of regrets of not being there for those that I should have been… with that I am soulful sorry (my son)580616_10151758483017361_261523703_n

What do I love the most 

I love myself (shit that was hard to say)  it has taken a very long time for me to say those words, I love my partner who has been by my side so many years, it is made up of dear friends I say it with the (s) why because it is more than 1 which is more than most have..

 

I love these people because they love me and that is enough no more than how that is because I am lucky..

Why do I want this?

Because I do…

What is it that you regret?

Many, Many things in my life… which is mine and if you wish to find out what, then you walk in my shoes and then ask me the same bloody question!

We can have a crystal ball tell each other I know better than you.. however, what is so significant about your life that you are better and more knowledgable what if you’re not?

Seriously speaking come on !!!

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And my dear bloggers it is that easy… if life was easy and we didn’t hurt, cry, if we had no error if everything in this life was that easy would you say… I know better?

Far out, even god would not say such things….

My suggestion is this….

Smile, love, and listen don’t be foolish if you have any business telling others who you think they are and how you think they should live , well good luck with that!

I would hate to be you if you did say such things to another!

Who wants perfect, anyway!

Not me!!!!

This is who I am:

  • I am 50 years old
  • I am in a loving and giving  relationship of 21 years
  • I make mistakes
  • I do very well at times
  • I am a very loud and opinionated female
  • I am a survivor
  • I am a mother
  • I also have good, bad, and darn right not the best at times with the above
  • I am human
  • I am true to myself and my partner, friends and family
  • I make mistakes just like everyone else and I am happy with that…
  • I love my 1 or 2 friends that I have on this earth
  • I am incredibly stubborn
  • I love with every bit of my being
  • If I say something real to you, you better believe it that I am telling you the truth
  • If I tell you my story, your lucky
  • I am a proud female who adores people for who they are not what they can give me back
  • I have no expectations of anything
  • But, I do love, and I do it with every part of my body, soul and faith

So, the question answered is Submission is about pleasing ourselves and those that are worthy of my being this isn’t a given this is earn and I am blessed with who wants to be my friend…

So, Who are you?

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Why do I Blog …What is the reason?


Well, to be honest I do blogs to get to understand those that are on here and this is for many reasons I have a very interesting past and I believe everything happens for a reason.

We tend to take our lives for granted and we never believe our lives are worth much which is sad because I myself have thought that many times in my own life.

I am not on here to be perfect nor am I on here to preach anything that isn’t the truth however, we do tend to have a bit of fun and poke fun at myself mostly or how I actually feel.

But, to be perfectly honest I do this to understand myself express how I feel about my eccentric life which really isn’t however, I have had life that most people would not be aware of and because I so want to complete my studying this may take me sometime as it can be difficult even for me to do.

It means I have to be present, honest, true to myself, those who read some of my piffle but, when I do write about my past sometimes it is easy and sometimes I will write it and I will delete it mainly because it scares the shit out of me for many reasons.

I don’t believe in wanting to dwell on my past but, what I do believe is our paths in our lives is very important and I so want to help those that have similar understandings and most of all help those that I know I can understand those that have walked a simular path as I have.

You see if it wasnt for some wonderful persons that need I say have helped me open my eyes to a lot of things which I thank them even though they may not think I have … So, thank you and I do love you all very much there may not be many that do know about my path but, I do wish for them to know that I do love them and I hold them very close to my heart and soul.. So, to my closest, dearest, imaginary, invisibly, visible and gorgeous souls always know that without those that held my hand and hugged my soul when I wept I thank you so very much with all of my heart and soul…

So, this is why I do this and want to help those that have been hurt through loosing a child through either divorce or wrongly accused for disgraceful ruling due to unfairly being accused or losing their child to suicide, death, tragic and even to those moms that had to let go of children due to rape, drugs, being hurt my others that should never occurred, have nearly hurt themselves due to their own despair and many other reasons that I wish to hold on further for my own growth and understanding.

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So, this is a little to why I want to be here and do what I do because I truly care for others that have been treated unfairly, truly hurtful and devastating occurrences that only those will understand inside themselves…

It is never easy nor is it something that anyone can do.. but, for me I have to do this because I want too and it is inside my own soul, self and most of all my heart cannot .. Not do it.. if that makes any sense..

So, yes, that is why I get on here rant and rave, do funny things and some really odd things it is never difficult it is frustrating because it can be hard to understand myself..

We all learn differently none of us are stupid nor are we psycho nor do we do this because someone else wants us too.. I do it because that is what I want to do… so as I grow and understand myself more I will share with you more as I grow..

Thank you, Franny xxx

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