Tag Archive for ‘questions’

Managing Expectations in a Casual Relationship


Go Figure… me? Well, I don’t seem to ever put expectations on most evenings however is that wise? I would say No!

For me after I marry I am not well available.. however, as we age and live together longer who bloody knows.. But, and alwaYS a But, the only way I would dabble in the naughty is with him……. not without….. so that is my difference.. That is just me.. for those that are more open continue reading..

For some people, a casual relationship is nothing more than a one-night stand. For others, it can mean having a long-term sex partner without co-mingling living situations, families and finances. Either one of those options and the variations in between can be had and can be wonderful. It all starts with managing your expectations.

State Up Front What You Want
Be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. If those things aren’t okay with the person you’re chatting up, don’t try to talk them into something they don’t want to do or say anything – especially if they’re outright false promises or lies – just to get them into bed. That’s something desperate losers do.

Don’t Expect People to Change
There are a lot of people, especially women, that believe that if the sex is great, that the other person will keep coming back for more or want to develop something more than just a casual relationship. Luring someone in by entrapment never works out or ends well. It’s also dishonest.

Don’t Make Too Many Compromises
Be completely comfortable and accepting with what the other person wants and has to offer in a casual relationship. If you give up too much, you’re going to regret being in the situation you got yourself into. You are entitled to have your casual relationship be a good and happy thing, sexually and otherwise.

When Emotions Get Lopsided
As much as people can tell themselves that a casual relationship is “just sex”, sex is loaded with emotions. After all, sex feels great. Right? A lot of those “feel good” emotions can lead to attachment. That’s why open communication is so important. Talk about your casual relationship as it evolves. If feelings for and expectations of each other aren’t mutual, it’s easier to deal with the situation sooner than later.

Be Friends
Like the person, you’re hooking up with. Be decent, kind, thoughtful and respectful. If you can’t do or be those things, don’t expect a hot sexual vibe in return. If you feel like that’s a chore or obligation, the other person will sense that and think you’re an asshole, and no one wants to have sex with an asshole. And if you don’t like the person you’re hooking up with or if you’re not having fun like friends of any other type do, your sex is not going to be fun.

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If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

A Word About Respect
I recently came upon a blog discussion thread where a bunch of men were complaining about the way women disrespect them. Everyone is entitled to respect but it’s earned both ways. If you don’t treat people well, hold up your responsibilities, or keep your word, the other person has every right to be pissed off with you. Being in a casual relationship doesn’t mean that you can be casual about manners and courtesy.

Finding a Casual Sex Partner isn’t Necessarily Immediate or Easy
Even if there are hundreds or thousands of potential casual sex partners on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean that you should expect sex on demand or instant gratification. It might take weeks or months to find or cultivate an eventual hookup. Remember that you’re dealing with available people and not just available bodies. Just because someone is available for a casual relationship doesn’t mean that they owe you sex.cropped-images-62.jpg

What would you say on a dating site…


Perhaps I would say this…..or would I????

Although we are new we are not new if that makes sense, to this scene without going on about us as a couple I wanted to share with you a few things about me.

I am a very open fun and at times to some a little crazy, however, that is me, I have always been like this since time began…   I do drive my husband nuts, however, that is my observation of me, not of what he thinks of me…

If I do then he will tell you, and I will probably tell him to go for a flying leap of the next cliff (lovingly of course)

Why are we on here… hmm, interesting question… I really had no idea this was place was so bloody open… never heard of so many men wanting (xxx) with married couples???

…that was a shock to me… to be perfectly honest… to think I had thought we as a couple would be unique and to find out …. There is millions of you everywhere… where have I been?

I said, to my husband the other day, to be a “swinger as a man” so easy for you guys, let’s face it, it was your single life!!!

For me swinging isnt my thing nor hubby however, I think men would say those things to stop you from going…ooooooahhhhhhhhhhhhhh did you just say that??

How… funny?!

One-night stands… even us girls at times… well, a few for me but, geez, once, twice… shrug…

But, for men… simple Simon… and bang… I remember those days, men just could do this… women however, not so easy!!!

So, here we are.. hubby and I… sigh, well, this is the most honest I have broken down our “intro”, so many times, and I am still doing it…

“To answer your question… we have not had a XXX, yes it interests us, does it? yes, of course it does, silly me, lost my head for a momento….however, for me, I am struggling with it, why?

Because, my wiring is a little different … let’s just leave it there… oh, yes, a lot picky btw…

Perhaps a little old fashioned, nasisitic, passive aggressive, what else can I put…sheeesh… I am sure I will find something…

Call me what you like… crazy, weird, picky, whatever, I am what I am… so be it…..get over it…

Now… if my husband wants to add something well that is up to him………………….the above is me… his painful, loving, stubborn assed wife, winging, moaning, open, crazy, funny, real wife… ME!

How interesting if I did put the above …. just testing the field.. what is out there.. how people tick and what other thing I can add to this platter of latter….

Psst…However, if I had my choice….. you know who I would pick, but, No, means no right ?!

 

Husband it is your turn …………………TBC…

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Now that would be an interesting dating site intro…. however, would I ever really put such things….NEVER…???.

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