Tag Archive for ‘truth’

Coming Out As Mature Gay Man


Hey Candii here,

I want to talk about a true story that happened to me a long time ago, I was newly divorced single mum with my son being around 6-7 years old my friends had changed a tad to me hanging around a lot of gay men!

Funny things happen when you’re single, however, it was the best thing I had ever done, to be honest, I remember a young boy forgot his name he was young like 17-18 years old. I was in my kitchen making sandwiches for about 30 young me “all gay” and this young man came up to me saying how great I was, he said, where is your girlfriend?

The laughter in my lounge room was roaring loudly and you heard someone say, she’s straight!  The shock on this boys face was epic, he said, but, you have a little boy?! and why are you so okay with all of us hanging out with you and your little boy?

Then my face was in shock!!

I said, to him, do I have to be gay? to hang around you all?

He then explained that he told his parents about himself being gay and how hard it was!

He then said, thank you for being so open and allowing us into your life!!

I said, don’t thank me I love being around strong people who have the guts to be what they want to be regardless of sexuality!  That takes guts and strength most straight people should learn about life!

Years later when working I saw him again in a lift and he remembered me, Franny, he had grown up a lot and he gave me another hug and said, you have always been in my heart and head girl thank you for you being you!!

I don’t really know the magnitude of what I did for him, but, I thought it was beautiful, to say the least, it meant a lot to him and that was enough for me.

True story 🙂


The Dangers Of Revealing Sexuality

Coming Out Later In Life

http://maturegay.com.au/

The divulging of your sexuality towards other people is commonly referred to as ‘coming out’.

This is a specific rite of passage for young gays whereby they not only acknowledge their sexuality, but they begin to tell other people such as their family and close friends, about their sexual orientation.

Coming out is an intensely personal process, and many people experience both positive and negative stories when it comes to their coming out.

In today’s society, particularly in Western Culture, coming out is often deemed to be not a big issue.

Though, try telling that to the person who is struggling with their sexuality and has conservative parents.

Coming out as a young person has unique and different challenges to coming out as an older person, and the experiences can be profoundly different.

People will ultimately come from a wide range of ethnic, religious, class and racial backgrounds which will directly influence their experiences as they come out.

These social standings can affect an individual’s safety, or even their family’s safety and coming out can risk the loss of friendships, relationships and family all because you are exploring your passionate nature.

Ignoring your passions towards relationships is not something that can be done, as ignoring your feelings will often cause great pain, fear, and anxiety.

It’s a different experience for everyone. Thus, coming out as a white, able-bodied young Australian will be a profoundly different experience than that of an African Immigrant living in a low socio-economic area of New York.

 

 

Aside from these challenges, there are many more challenges to coming out as an older male, especially if one has denied or repressed their sexuality in their youth and have begun to raise a family.

Older generations were raised in a society and grew up in a time of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell‘ and many people have successfully hidden and/or repressed their sexuality until much later in life.

The question then becomes; why did they hide it?

There’s a variety of reasons as to why people might choose to hide or ignore their sexuality.

Most teenagers, and arguably this is part of being part of a teenager, will naturally reach a point in their lives whereby they will test where the bounds of sex and sexuality sit, and they will explore these boundaries.

It can be an incredibly frustrating and confusing time especially when society expects that you will fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, have children and grow old together and you’re simply not sharing or feeling like that.

At this stage, some people might fundamentally reject their feelings on religious grounds, upbringing, or they might develop intense negative feelings surrounding the issue of sexuality and as a result, will push down on those feelings until they no longer exist.

 

coming out is distressing

Coming Out is Distressing

 

This can pose significant issues later in life, and ultimately they’re setting themselves up until they have reached a point when they can no longer deny their feelings.

They have given a lifestyle of heterosexuality their best shot and it’s simply no longer viable.

They have attempted to conform to societal expectations of getting married, having children, and it’s not until they get to later on in lives that they realise that there have been profoundly important things about themselves with which they have neglected, or not acknowledged.

Other people might simply not have the capacity to understand or interpret their feelings of attraction because they had deemed it to be as abnormal, or wrong. In that regard, is not surprising that a lot of baby boomers wait until later in life when they decide to come out, and it’s usually as a result of their lives becoming simply unbearable as a result of hiding who they truly are. Coming out when you’re young is difficult. Coming out when you’re older has significantly more challenges, and arguably, is a lot harder than coming out when young. We’ve compiled a short list of the difficulties that older people might face when they decide to come out later in life.

 

1. Being Gay And Married:-

Owing to the fact that many people try and repress their sexuality, they will conform to social, familial and religious pressures and decide to get married. Though it is important to note that not all religions have strong stances on homosexuality.

Taoism

For example:

  • does not have a single school of thought when it comes to homosexuality and is simply merely discouraged.

In any event, people might conform to the popular belief that it’s not accepted and continue on a heterosexual lifestyle.

They might do this in the hope that their homosexual feelings will go away, or they might find themselves in a deep state of denial, or they simply might feel that their feelings are nothing but a phase and representative of the feeling of ‘cold feet’ of getting married.

Many mature gay men have stated that the reason that they got married was that they’d hoped that the feelings would go away, they loved their wives, they considered their wives their best friends and soul mates but rather than happiness and bliss for their lifetime together, all they would feel was an overwhelming sense of infidelity and deceit as they discovered that the feelings wouldn’t go away.

They might try marriage counseling or some form of couples counseling, but inevitably it’s not going to work.

 

wife ca be devastating

Coming Out To Your Wife Can Be Devastating

 

Often they can hide and repress this for years, the distractions of life, and growing older play a great part in a person’s ability to ignore what’s underneath as they traverse life, climb the social/work ladder, buy a house, plan for a family and so on and so forth.

One of the worst aspects of being both married and gay is the understanding that the moment that you come out, that there is potentially going to be a lot of hurt, pain, and anger from his wife.

This can be devastating and cause chaos in people’s lives and is probably one of the most challenging aspects of coming out when you’re older.

Especially since he might love his wife, considers her his best friend and feels that coming out will ultimately hurt her.

For some, they simply cannot take this and will either resort to drastic measures or simply engage in infidelity until they get caught out.

 

2. Parenthood:-

Through trying to repress ones sexuality, they might decide to get married. From there, they might end up being parents.

Becoming a parent also serves as a distraction-like tool in the repression of sexuality and some might see the prospect of having children to be worth it in staying in the closet because it provides them with opportunities that they may not have been able to have as a gay male.

Today, however, there are many options for queer people to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents, and these technologies were simply not available 30 years ago.

Other people feel that being a parent is more important than their sexuality, as they fear that any decision to come out after having children, could negatively impact them.

As such, there are a lot of people who acknowledge being gay early on in their marriage but who have already had children, they decide to repress their sexuality until their children are old enough to understand.

To some people, the idea of providing a loving and nurturing environment for their children is a far more important endeavor.

 

loving family

 

3. The idea of Lost Youth:-

Being young is about making mistakes, it’s about embarking on life with the training wheels firmly attached and it is a state of learning and growing.

What about the idea though, that you start off life in the development of a particular lifestyle, only to discover that that’s not for you?

You essentially, in part have to start again.

This is a common train of thought for older people who have come out later in life and they might get the impression that they have to go out into the world and make up for lost time.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to make up for lost time, what’s past has already passed. Mature Gay Adults who have only recently come out, however, will often find themselves behaving and acting like the teen they never got to be in an effort to make up for lost time.

It’s almost considered to be in the same vein as having a mid-life crisis – even the most placid and calm of people might suddenly turn into a raging teen at the candy store lusting and drooling after all the new things in the world that they can experience.

It’s tricky. Others might feel such a sense of shame and inadequacy that it makes them vulnerable to forms of abuse, and they may be plagued with unhappiness regarding the sense that they’re supposed to be an adult, and all of a sudden they’re a child in a world that they didn’t know much about.

In either circumstance, however, there is cause for concern.

Not only in forms of abuse either from being sexually assaulted or financial as a result of this vulnerability, and in young people potentially seeking a sugar daddy where the older gay male is looking for love, but also in the sense that sex and dating conquests may not necessarily equate to a healthy sexual lifestyle.

 

4. Family Acceptance:-

One of the most important things that people yearn for when they decide to come out of the closet, is that it won’t adversely affect their relationship with their family.

It’s a fundamental need and desire to be loved and accepted by your family.

When people start coming out in their 30’s, 40’s or even beyond there are some families which will struggle with this new found status.

Some members of the family might be unable to accept the sudden change, in the sense that who you’ve been for the majority of your life has now suddenly changed.

They may not be able to transcend past the idea of how they remember or know who their child, brother, sister, the nephew was.

There’s really no way in telling if the experience is going to be a positive or negative experience.

Especially when some people support the idea of being gay, and they can’t get past the feeling that they had been deceived the majority of your life in regards to the gay person.

5. Family acceptance

 Will also extend to the in-laws.

It is highly unlikely that a young gay male will be married in his teens, and as such, will never have to deal with the prospect of telling his in-laws about his sexuality.

People in their 30’s and beyond may have found themselves married, and have acquired a set of in-laws through their partner.

Gay people who come out later in life might have to deal with telling the in-laws about their sexuality.

Though, in some respects, it should be very much considered to be similar to a divorce – whereby the in-laws will either accept you’re coming out, will struggle to remain civil and polite, or they might even be glad to see the back of you.

Having grandchildren involved in this situation is certainly going to complicate things and realistically you should speak to your partner privately first, and have a discussion about the in-laws.

 

myth and truth

 

6. Youth Vs Truth:-

This one is partly driven by the shallowness of the queer community and the ideals associated with beauty.

Whereas many people subscribe to the idea that you’re only as old as you feel, it can be quite apparent when someone is desperately trying to cling onto their youth by either wearing inappropriate clothes or embarking on a lifestyle that isn’t representative of their age.

Common problems with coming out later in life circle around an individual’s insecurities – they feel that they’re well beyond the age of getting into the gay scene, or that they’re not in good enough shape to be taken seriously.

From here, one of two things will generally happen. You will go into over-drive and desperately seek to become the most ideal and often stereotypical gay man that you could be.

Or, you might find yourself in a pit of despair and feel that you’re just never going to be good enough and settle for a relationship, or a particular circumstance that is far less than what you deserve.

Neither of these scenarios are the healthiest.

The healthiest approach that one can take is simply let loose, be yourself and try to find your way on your own with the knowledge that there are countless others who are in exactly the same position that you are.

 

7. Baggage:-

This is one of the tougher ones and can really hit a person where it hurts.

When you’ve been married and you’ve got kids, there are many people out there who will consider you to be a person that’s carrying too much baggage.

However, it’s a similar situation to when going through a standard divorce, with the only difference is that you’re now dealing with a lot of issues and thoughts regarding your own sexuality and invariably it’s a lot of stuff happening at once. If you hear this said to you, it’s going to hurt. But just find comfort and solace in the idea that it’s certainly not an isolated occurrence and that you’re but one in a pool of people trying to find their way. Just like older people going through a divorce, you may find comfort in the idea of not necessarily embarking on looking for a relationship with someone that doesn’t have baggage of their own, but rather looking for someone that also wants to be serious and might be coming with their own baggage.

 

training wheel

 

8. Training Wheels:-

You’ve spent the last x amount of years subscribing to a particular lifestyle, and now you have to change that.

Sex is going to be a major component of that, and it can be quite emasculating to discover that you’re considered to be absolutely clueless around sex.

You’re not alone, there’s no manual on having sex or gay relationships, and chances are that when you’re looking for someone else that’s also single they haven’t managed to understand the idea of relationships either!

 

9. Love:-

Mature people will often feel that they can’t be loved.

They’re often in an already vulnerable state having to deal with all of the above problems, and rather than playing the field and determining who they are attracted to, they’ll often find comfort in the idea of settling down with the first person that shows any interest in them. Monogamous relationships form their primary focus and whilst there’s no harm in this – if you’re specifically looking to form a monogamous relationship then there’s a chance that it can actually stop you from getting into a relationship. The best advice in this regard, play the field.

 

10. Life Stressors:-

This is often the most difficult, and can directly impact all of the previous issues when it comes to coming out when you’re older.

The fact is, that there might simply be too much going on at once.

You might be dealing with a divorce, you might be dealing and trying to do the best for your kids, you might be trying to find a new place to live, and you might also be trying to work out the intricacies of gay life, sex, and relationships.

That can be a lot of pressure and stress all at once. Take a step back, breathe and deal with the things as they come.

You might not have all the experience of a gay male, but you have a variety of different experiences and challenges that you have overcome just to make it to this point in your life and, surely, that’s worth something.

 

mature gay couple

 

I myself am a late bloomer. I am now happier through coming out. I have written these challenges both as a result of what I myself have experienced, and what others in my support network have experienced.

Coming out is not easy at whatever stage of life that you’re in and I absolutely subscribe to the words of Comedian Todd Glass when he states that “everyone comes out at exactly the same time…when they’re ready.”.

I first had an idea that I was gay in my late teens, and this was during the start of the HIV Epidemic.

I didn’t stay closeted for fear of the HIV scare, I attempted to embark on a lifestyle of heterosexual living because I felt guilty, because of fear, and due to a need to please others, like my family.

I don’t believe or view that decision as a mistake, from that choice I feel I was gifted with a beautiful and wonderful relationship with an amazing and patient woman, who gave me two daughters who I love to the ends of the world and who have certainly made my life worth living.

My family has been able to provide me with the strength that I needed to develop the emotional maturity that would later form the foundations of my confidence and acceptance.

Despite coming out when I was older, I have since found myself, I am now true to myself and I could never ask for anything more.

What is Love?


Love is a kind of chemical reaction, so you could never tell why it happens and you could never try to stop it by your own will. Love must have existed a long time before human beings developed language.

People always want to find a definite answer about what is love, so they keep asking each other and themselves. However, there is no person who can define what love is.

Every person has his or her own understanding of love, and a single person’s understanding of love may differ by time.

Love is a general feeling of deep caring that does not change (although the form of expressing it may alter).

I do not believe that we can force ourselves to love or not to love someone. We have the capacity to love many people.

For example, you can love your children, parents, friends, and ex-spouse.

 

what is love

 

Being “in love” with someone means that you feel a deep caring, you desire them sexually, and you want to spend lots of time with them.

If you truly love them, then you may change the latter two but you will always feel the deep caring.

On the contrary, like is specific and changeable.

Have you noticed that there are things that you liked in a person before but do not any more or vice versa?

  • You can experience both loves and like simultaneously since they are different feelings.

It is important to be able to say to someone, “I love you, and I don’t like what you are doing (be specific).”

This is especially important to children so that they do not get the wrong impression when you are angry.

They need a clear message that you love them (then they can feel lovable), and you do not like their behavior (then explain why).

Also, telling your children or anyone else, “If you loved me you would ____.,” is not love. It is a way of trying to manipulate or to control them because of your fears or concerns.

 

 

I have discovered that we all want to be loved, and to love.

That is, we all desire to be deeply cared about and to care about others.

True love is unconditional.

No matter what you or another person says or does, express your love and then deal with the specific disliked behavior.

What the world needs now is lots of love which is the opposite of fear.

Accept your and others’ differences.


Take the time to love yourself and others unconditionally, spread deep caring-that is the key to loving relationships and to a loving world.

There are certain characteristics we show when we are in love.

Selfless behavior shows that you are not just thinking about yourself, but that you’re also concerned about your partners’ needs as well.

You will be concerned about your partner’s growth in life, and become more supportive and understanding, even if you feel like being critical.

You will have a desire to forgive, and realize that no one is perfect in life.

Your love grows when you are able to focus on the good things about someone.

You will see both the positive and the negative side of someone, but you will love them no matter what.

When your partner does that little thing that irritates you, it will be easier to look past it.

You will realize that it’s not worth getting angry over and causing a scene.

Love allows for anger but in a controlled manner.

Love is about being able to compromise. If emotional pain was caused you’re allowed to let your partner know when they have done wrong.

Love is about caring and showing affection and intimacy towards the other person. You will have a romantic desire towards your partner, not a lustful desire.

With a romantic desire to be intimate and affectionate towards your partner, an emotional bond will grow between the two of you. It will become stronger over time and will bring you closer together.

What Does It Feel Like To Be In Love:-

 

Love is built on mutual interest, care, trust, and respect.

You will have a desire to be committed to your partner in any type of situation, such as one where infidelity may be a temptation.

Or even when faced with negative comments from others about your partner.

Your commitment will allow you to be faithful and true to your partner, and you will be willing to stick up for them at all costs.

It is important to realize that love is about expecting to give, not expecting to get.

You don’t have to buy your partner something nice every day, but you can do nice things for them often. Something as simple as a romantic dinner at home.

Give them a message with candles lit around the room.

The desire to give will make you feel great about yourself, and most importantly make your partner feel great.

A relationship grows successfully when both partners commit to behaving in a loving manner, through continual and unconditional giving.

Not only saying “I love you” but also showing it.

We experience love as a feeling, and express it as an action.

The thing that ultimately maintains our love and happiness in life is the energy that we get from inside ourselves.

Deep inside us is a wellspring of energy that is very strong in some people but very weak in others. Without that wellspring of energy, you may find it hard to continue on in the face of many problems and challenges in your life.

You may get discouraged or hurt very easily and find that you no longer feel the same way about your loved one that you initially felt.

Your first impulses of love may fade and your happiness may begin to wane.

 

 

A lot of things can aggravate the negative feelings that we have inside ourselves and we may think that the person we love is “no longer the same” or “doesn’t care about us anymore”.

You may begin to feel that everything is hopeless and fail to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Something has gone wrong and you don’t know what it is.

The problem that has befallen you is that you never found that wellspring inside of yourself but wrongly imagined it to be coming from someone else.

You were happy for a while but you didn’t really know why.

Those feelings of love and happiness weren’t coming from the other person!

You thought they were but, actually, they were coming from inside of you!

It’s true!

They were coming from inside of you!

Once that person begins to appear commonplace and boring, the feeling you had begins to fade.

You no longer feel the great feelings of love that were actually coming from inside of you to start with.

You decided to turn them off. Instead, you covered them up again and all you felt was a sense of darkness.

Real happiness comes from a heart that is so filled with genuine love that nothing on the outside can really affect it in any lasting way.

There are rare people who have practiced many techniques and teachings and learned to overcome their fears and their negative emotions to find a wellspring of energy inside them which is the real place that love and happiness come from.

If you are feeling discouraged or in need of an answer, look inside yourself for that wellspring and learn to face your fears and your challenges each day so that, over time, you will overcome the many problems that face you each and that face each and every one of us in life.

Life is a long road with many challenges and the winners learn to lift up their heads and go on even in the hardest of times.

Love and happiness are what make this world worthwhile, so let’s keep our head up and learn to be the person in charge of our own destiny.

We are truly the ones who are in charge and we can make it an award-winning movie that everyone will pay to see!

 

Falling In Love

 

 

Two people who genuinely love each other may fall in love because of the burning desire and passion to be with each other or to live close to each other.

Finding love is a tricky sentiment.

There are some things that feel like love, but they are too much exterior to be the real thing. “Real love takes time and doesn’t take place overnight”.

Love is never logical or easy. People fall under the spell of love for many reasons.

Opposites can attract, and while it may seem unusual to the outside world, you can be completely wrapped up and oblivious.

When you find love it can make anything seem potential and possible to do.

Deep within us, there seems an emptiness that not even a hundred lovers could fill, yet there still is an expectation. Your dreams can come true.

True love is so precious and valuable that it is said, “True love is not something that comes every day, follow your heart, it knows the right answer”.

True love can take time to grow, or it can evolve in the pair’s first encounter.

When 2 hearts gather for the first time a lot of magical things can happen.

There are stories of an eye-to-eye spark, this is when you are overcome with excitement by just looking at someone across a room, and this also can evolve into true love.

There are two kinds of sparks, the one that goes off with a hitch like a match, but it burns quickly.

The other is the kind that needs time, but when the flame strikes… it’s eternal, don’t forget that.

After first sight, the two people will ultimately have to talk to each other.

If you don’t feel that certain spark it’s probably not meant to be.

Most couples who have spent a significant amount of time building their relationship with each other eventually fall in love. It’s a natural evolution of their bond.

But, it’s also an indefinable stage that is often difficult to identify. Millions have asked themselves, “Am I in love with my partner?”

  • Some are confused by what that means.
  • Others misinterpret harmful emotions (for example, jealousy and obsession) as love.

 

Understanding The True Nature Of Love:-

Often it’s easier to define love based upon what it isn’t.

A lot of people mistakenly think that certain emotions they’re feeling represent love. For example, lust is commonly thought to signify something more than it is.

Or, one partner may be so passionate about the other than physical or emotional abuse occurs in the relationship. Neither instance signifies love.

When you love somebody, the feeling transcends the physical.

You feel attached to the other person in a way that you don’t feel with others.

The level of physical and emotional commitment is greater than with anyone else.

And while love translates into intimacy, the willing vulnerability to which you expose yourself to your partner dwarfs that which you experience in all other relationships.

 

Trust Grows:-

While love can encompass a myriad of qualities, mutual trust is one of the most important.

And it expands much further than simply trusting that your partner won’t cheat physically. In this context, it means that you trust your partner implicitly.

You trust that he or she will not betray you or the relationship on a physical or emotional level.

As your love grows, so too does your level of trust.

Eventually, that trust reaches the point at which you’re unable to even conceive of your partner betraying you.

 

Intimacy Issues:-

 

intemacy issues

Intimacy issues plague many couples.

But, it’s important to understand what true intimacy is.

And it’s equally important to realize that issues surrounding it don’t necessarily preclude love.

For many couples, a lack of physical intimacy may be a problem, though they love and trust each other implicitly.

  • Issues involving emotional intimacy are often more severe.

For example, an emotional disconnection can be a warning sign that love is waning.

  • A lack of communication may also represent deeper issues.

 

Signs That You’re In Love:-

So, how do you know when you’re in love? Unfortunately, it’s often hard to tell because it involves two people so deeply on various physical and emotional levels.

That said, there are signs. For example, if your partner is late, your initial reaction may be a concern for their safety.

Or, you may begin to miss them horribly when they’re away.

Also, small things may constantly remind you of your partner.

 

Enjoying Your Partner:-

A true manifestation of love is found in the level of commitment, trust, physical and emotional intimacy, and mutual attachment that you enjoy with your partner.

It’s a confluence of several factors and any one factor does not, in and of itself, represent love.

Some claim that loving your partner is more than mere emotion.

It is, in effect, a choice that you make.

And that choice helps to sustain the relationship during times when any one of the above factors falters.

In the end, falling in love is about enjoying your partner on a level that no other person can hope to experience.

It’s about being vulnerable, yet trusting.

It’s about sharing yourself physically and emotionally, knowing that the commitment will be reciprocated. Falling in love is a natural progression toward a lifetime with your partner.

The Top 10 Questions on Sex and Psychology


For today’s post, I have put together an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. As you’ll see, these questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite a range of topics.

However, most of them are united by the same theme:

  • “What’s normal when it comes to sex?
  • What you’ll see when you read the answers is that “normal” does not mean just one thing!

10. How often do married couples have sex?

9. Do women become “loose” if they have a lot of sex?

  •  (Some women’s vaginas may become “looser” over time, but not as a function of how much sex they’re having.)

8. What percentage of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone?

  •  (Based on the research I’ve seen, about half of the women surveyed report this.)

7.  Is deeper penetration better?

  • (For most women, not necessarily—but for some it is. In fact, some women can reach orgasm from stimulation of the cervix.) 

6. Does penis size actually affect female pleasure?

  •  (The answer to the deeper penetration question above addresses the issue of penile length. But what about girth/circumference? Research finds that women tend to rate girth as the most important penis dimension. For a more detailed look at the research on this subject, see here.)

5. Do women enjoy anal sex?

  • (Many do, and studies find that it is an increasingly common sexual activity practised by women today. Although it didn’t make the top 10 list this time around, many readers have also been curious about how to make anal sex more pleasurable.)

4. Injaculation: Is it dangerous for guys to prevent ejaculation during orgasm?

  • (Probably not. There isn’t a single scientific source to suggest that this practice causes problems. In fact, this is actually a common and very successful technique used among guys who are trying to learn better ejaculatory control in order to resolve premature ejaculation.)

3. Is “rimming” safe?

  • (Like any sexual activity, there are risks associated with this one–but there are also ways to make it safer.) Make sure you check if the girl or boy has taken Xenical then your in for a surprise…lol

2. Why are so many straight men into transsexual porn?

  • (This is a common sexual interest among men and, contrary to popular belief, most men who are attracted to male-to-female transsexuals are not gay.)

1. I want to watch my wife sleep with someone else. Is that normal?

  • (Believe it or not, this is also a very common sexual fantasy among men. For an even more detailed look at the research in this area, check out this article.)

Bambi-Magazine-fashion-beauty-photography_52e01d5d9567f-560x372

 

This is now the time to be present and begin this Journey today..


Lets talk about being Present within yourself and within those that you share you lives with socially and explisitly, without judgement, bullshit, just enjoy and have so bloody fun..

Cheesy-friendship-quotes

They blame you instead and think it is funny….

We do deserve to be ourselves… we are not caged animals..are we??

Your journey, my journey, the popes journey we all have them and those that understand what that means in fact understand we all have limitations in our lives, however, this isnt about limitations…. I am talking about no LIMITATIONS.. going forward….

In fact let’s be real for a moment

We get to a point in our lives that we go on our personal journeys some include people that are the same mind set.. you would hope… some prefer to go naked and find new ones… some love that same simular smart mouthed larikin… I am one of those.. so is my hubby however, we also love to socialise with new exciting people who love life..

So, let’s shift and start doing because we should now be ready to walk side by side and enjoy life, right?life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc

I am ready, I know my hubby is… are you?

I had the best weekend and the efforts of my own self was firstly the most powerful, gob smacking, speechless, and devine moment I have had thus far…

In fact, I wanted to just stop and breath in this amazing awareness that I experienced I felt safe, I had no noise, I thought for one moment that my age was back as a young women where I seemed to really let go of things easier… or at least quicker..

However, this feeling was much better… Let me tell you

So, what is it going to take to be present and take that leap of faith?deep-connection-friendships

So, for me, my gorgeous, husband and hopefully anyone else that wishes to put up with our bad inappropriate behaviour, opinionated beliefs, excellent humour, and frankly we are pretty friggin annoying… couple but, yes any other that wishes to jump on board our pink jumbo elephant then by all means.. do so…

So from today which indeed I believe that we are all ready.. to have so bloody fun or at least get dressed up go out into this perth city and find a bar, view, beach, bottle of wine and have some really good fun.

Laughing, is the best start to any journey with those that you care enough about, get along with and have no limitations to expressing whatever you wish to say, feel, joke about with life can and will always be as hard and difficult as you wish… nothing is garenteed and that is what our entire life has been based on…

Below is all those emotions that we tend to have within us… have a look.. and embrace, and trust yourself… nothing to be lost… everything to be loved..

………………so what are you waiting for?? I am so excited to walk with a better skip rather than hesitation anymore.. done and dusted… let’s go and have some bloody fun… okay ?

BTW… nice choice of music xxx

What if you don’t even know… hmm?


The going consensus is that women in the lifestyle are either bi-curious or bisexual…

What if women don’t know if they are anything other than what they know?

Seriously, unless you are married to a person who questions I dunno, pretty much everthing that god has said not too… (shucks) If it was up to me remove the damn labels and find out for ourselves… this is also for men as well.. go figure how hard is life .. seriously people… moving on….images

Even though that may be very true for many, others still don’t wish for things to be labeled as there are only bi-sexual ladies in the lifestyle. After all, the lifestyle thankfully allows for variety in every single way imaginable!

Girls, Girls, Girls

A little research on this topic at travel events reveals that there are also those who can just appreciate a beautiful woman while still being very straight.

Then there are those who like to just kiss another woman without it going into a full-on sex session too. Of course, that could be somewhat of a stretch as at events, limits and boundaries are somewhat flexible.

Why is that?

Well, because apparently, and this comes from the mouth of the ladies themselves:

  • Women do kiss differently than men!
  • Really?
  • Yes, I am not that way atm… however, I have experienced women’s kisses… shock!! I have??? Nooooooo me who is straight god hell.. what is life going to do to me now???
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If I turned around so many things would have been different, would it? Probably, maybe, who would know, maybe better than you think!

 

Many ladies experimented in their younger years with their girlfriends. Word of mouth only goes so far after all!

They do???

No???

LOL, jesus, seriously?

So, What Gives?

When asked, it was mentioned that there is a significant difference in experience when kissing a woman instead of a man.

Kissing a woman is described as:

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  • just a bit lovelier, quite softer and deeper with a beautiful layer of delicacy. So now that we know that, do those kissing women then want to get “kissed” to change into a bisexual lady perhaps?

The answer, give or take a few: Oh no, not at all, of course the more the merrier, but it’s also awesome to be able to just kiss a beautiful woman without it having to go any further than that. No other expectations, period.

But do Women Prefer Women over Men?

The next logical question is: Do women prefer a woman’s kiss over the kiss of a man? And the answer again is no, it’s just considered different and more of a nice addition. Well, all in all, the men don’t seem to mind… On the contrary, a look, a flirt, a kiss, a touch and who knows where things will lead.

That very first kiss between women, what makes it so special? At SDC travel events you can witness this magic happen all the time. Threesomes and foursomes and moresomes are not an uncommon result either. Absolutely nothing is wrong with that, so by all means, if and when the urge hits you, kiss away ladies!

Each to their own I believe, baby steps, don’t beat yourselves up, and never, ever think life is as difficult as most would seem to think!

We are only human beings living in a world that seems to have everything bit like a candystore.. right so, please don’t make it harder than it should be by making it more difficult for each other.

Love and Trust, never say things like…. I don’t care if, or I am not bothered, or Never say to your wife… he or she is off limits because the question is why?

If you just relax a bit let them think … let them go .. if your not open to everything then stay home and watch a movie because if your not open.. then the door stays shut..

It is as simple or difficult as you make it.. if you start dictating to each other what you think it should be.. it does become quite difficult to understand each other and the next thing you both do is disconnect!9bcf8fe9f858a35a5bc9bbde2b4e3ddb

So, please pace yourselves…. relax….. and take your time…. be mindful of each others minds and hearts…. always allow one another to think for themselves and never tell each other that what they think and feel is wrong..

Let them work it out… for themselves 🙂

Candii xxx

Favorite

Longing for Change…


Beautiful Lyrics… absolutely lovely…. Gaga’s New Movie Debut…

Wow, very amazing I cannot wait to see this Movie…

Wish I could, I could’ve said goodbye
I would’ve said what I wanted to
Maybe even cried for you
If I knew, it would be the last time
I would’ve broke my heart in two
Tryin’ to save a part of you

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna to give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh

When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I’d find myself
Lying in your arms
And I want to pretend that it’s not true
Oh baby, that you’re gone
‘Cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning
And I’m not moving on

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love

I don’t wanna know this feeling
Unless it’s you and me
I don’t wanna waste a moment, ooh
And I don’t wanna give somebody else the better part of me
I would rather wait for you, ooh

Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
Baby, I’ll just stay on your lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
Oh, I’ll never love again

Love again
Oh, I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again
I won’t, I won’t, I swear I can’t
I wish I could but i just won’t
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love again, ooh

 

[Verse 1: Bradley Cooper]
Tell me somethin’ girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more
Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

[Refrain: Bradley Cooper]
I’m fallin’
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Verse 2: Lady Gaga]
Tell me something boy
Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?
Or do you need more
Ain’t it hard keepin’ it so hardcore?

[Refrain: Lady Gaga]
I’m falling
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Chorus: Lady Gaga]
I’m off the deep end
Watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface
Where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now

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Beautiful Quotes….


I have borrowed these from a great Blogger link below to the person who inspired most of these quotes…life-quotes-inspiration-i-just-want-friendship-we-have-something-so-special-and-both-be-through-so-muc

Truth

“Never ruin someone’s life with a lie, when your world can be destroyed with the truth.”

Tell them…

“If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are broken by the words unspoken.” 

Enjoying sex…

“Enjoying sex doesn’t make you a whore, just like being a virgin doesn’t make you saint.” 

A good man…

“Allow a good man to ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.” 

Sex and Marriage12ba5c1805debdfd1dbfa06d77882a0d.jpg

“God created sex. Priests created marriage.”
– Voltaire

Lay me down…

Lay me down,
get ready to play,
clear your calendar,
to make love all day.

Start with kisses,
touch me low,
caress me tight,
as we take it slow.

Cat fight

 

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.” – Abraham Lincoln6dd056fa77d441b87e2deffa867f35ef.jpg

Master Your Passions

 

 

 

“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” – Lord Tennyson Alfred

Quality Friendships


A true friend can have many different good qualities, but the qualities that add up to true friendship may be the most important.

 

Loyalty is a quality that everyone looks for in a friend.

loyal friend will stick with you no matter what the situation is and you can always count on them being on your side.

Qualities of a Good Friend:

As you read through these descriptions, envision your friends, and the ones who are truly quality will come to mind every time:

  • Your friend is a good listener. She doesn’t interrupt with her own stories, but encourages you to talk as long as you need. She is genuinely interested in you.

 

  • Your friend gives you space. She understands that you need time for other things in your life, and those things don’t endanger your friendship.

 

  • Your friend is forgiving. Maybe, in a fit of exasperation at something else, you were cruel or rude. Your friend understands.

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  • Your friend is reliable. When your friend says she will do something, she does. You don’t have to worry that she will let you down.

 

  • Your friend supports you through tough times. She shows up at your apartment with a bottle of wine because she knows you’ve had a rough day. She knows how to improve your mood and reduce your stress.

 

  • Your friend is trustworthy. You can tell your friend anything and know that she will keep it to herself.

 

  • Your friend helps you to reach your goals. Need an exercise buddy? She’s there. Need an emergency babysitter so you can attend class? She’s there.

Are You a Good Friend?

Friendship is a give and take.

It’s just as important to be a good friend as it is to have good friends, and it takes time and an openness of self to nurture a quality friendship. You know what qualities you value in your close friends; why not measure your own behavior to see if you could be a better friend? To be the best friend you can be:

  • Accept yourself as you are. Be realistic and secure about who you are. Insecurity and self-criticism push friends away.

 

  • Accept others as they are. Don’t judge. When your friends make mistakes, give them a shoulder to cry on, but only give them advice if they ask for it. Don’t belittle them or their choices.

When friends get together, it can be a positive and healing experience. Find the time to connect with your friends often. It’s much more important than a household chore or the latest episode of your favorite TV show. Call a friend for coffee or lunch, or just take a long walk and talk about anything and everything. It may just be the best thing you’ve done for yourself, and your friend, in a long time.download (5)

What is the best thing a friend has ever done for you? 

I am me… if you do not like me.. then see that door…


What can I say about this title many things….. Let me tell you….

Thus far, far out and how amazing is life!!!

We often forget who we are, how we got here, what moments was it that made us “Stop and Smell those bloody Thorns”.

Why the thorns, good question, why the hell not..

Nothing in life is easy or smooth let’s face it and if you say it is then we must be lying right!

So, in saying that I decided to say what I said, because I did!

Life is what it is.. It is what you want to make of it.. I cannot say to you the answer as I am still finding it myself..

And there is nothing wrong with that..

However, if you wish me to answer it.. it is made up on mistakes, winnings, many happy times, many sad times, disappointment, happy ever after times, its made of children that will put a smile on your face, loving moments that we all cherish, it is made of sadness when someone breaks your heart for the first time and it is made of many shades of blue, green, pink, yellow, red, orange, and I could go on.

  • It is also made of regrets of not being there for those that I should have been… with that I am soulful sorry (my son)580616_10151758483017361_261523703_n

What do I love the most 

I love myself (shit that was hard to say)  it has taken a very long time for me to say those words, I love my partner who has been by my side so many years, it is made up of dear friends I say it with the (s) why because it is more than 1 which is more than most have..

 

I love these people because they love me and that is enough no more than how that is because I am lucky..

Why do I want this?

Because I do…

What is it that you regret?

Many, Many things in my life… which is mine and if you wish to find out what, then you walk in my shoes and then ask me the same bloody question!

We can have a crystal ball tell each other I know better than you.. however, what is so significant about your life that you are better and more knowledgable what if you’re not?

Seriously speaking come on !!!

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And my dear bloggers it is that easy… if life was easy and we didn’t hurt, cry, if we had no error if everything in this life was that easy would you say… I know better?

Far out, even god would not say such things….

My suggestion is this….

Smile, love, and listen don’t be foolish if you have any business telling others who you think they are and how you think they should live , well good luck with that!

I would hate to be you if you did say such things to another!

Who wants perfect, anyway!

Not me!!!!

This is who I am:

  • I am 50 years old
  • I am in a loving and giving  relationship of 21 years
  • I make mistakes
  • I do very well at times
  • I am a very loud and opinionated female
  • I am a survivor
  • I am a mother
  • I also have good, bad, and darn right not the best at times with the above
  • I am human
  • I am true to myself and my partner, friends and family
  • I make mistakes just like everyone else and I am happy with that…
  • I love my 1 or 2 friends that I have on this earth
  • I am incredibly stubborn
  • I love with every bit of my being
  • If I say something real to you, you better believe it that I am telling you the truth
  • If I tell you my story, your lucky
  • I am a proud female who adores people for who they are not what they can give me back
  • I have no expectations of anything
  • But, I do love, and I do it with every part of my body, soul and faith

So, the question answered is Submission is about pleasing ourselves and those that are worthy of my being this isn’t a given this is earn and I am blessed with who wants to be my friend…

So, Who are you?

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Memories of yesterday… something funny


Have you ever gone to a Sunday session and you look around and scope that pub with your girl friends what do you notice?

My visual even when I was young could see so many different groups of mates, friends, surfies hanging around a pool table drinking beer then I would veer my eyes over to the bar and then notice those gangs that hung around each other they walked the same, they even had similar close then their mates and girl friends.

Then of course the locals divided into two groups by colours on their backs normally these wonderful long-haired scruffy unwashed and smelly bike lovers would look like they had not washed, cut their hair and always hung around the corner bar and dart board area.. that was their area…

Then of course the seriously good-looking angry-looking, in fact they had no expression on their gorgeous mannish faces these boys where my favourites.. at the time cuz normally when they smiled OMG moment pearly white teeth AND  COULD THEY smile took my breath away…

All these different designer men at a Beach hotel in Waikiki, packed pub, and a live band was never ever a disappointment, cuz us girls pint-sized nothing surfie, girls normally tanned black, with surfie beads, stone washed jeans tightly around our asses and all of us cute as buttons.. with our crisps white shirts and butter would not melt in our little 18-year-old mouths… oh yes, indeed…

And me who always and every Sunday Session would do the same walk to find those broody boys who had no smiles…. so what do you think I did to crack those smashing smiles….

Cheeky, sassy, brassy, short asses swinging from the tall bar swinging off with my feet not even close to the floor in their faces.. with my pearly whites saying, come on I know you can give me those beautiful pearls….

Oh, boy, oh, Boy….

Not every time I would but, always there would be at least two cuz they definitely would not broad at the bar alone.. too cool for school and leant over the bar … O M G, legs of steel and an ass of metal… impressive in tight bloody jeans.. my mouth open wide thinking wow I found them mind-blowing and a definite cracker……

Never date them but, jesus I used to get a beautiful smile out of these gorgeous men… and did they smile…. and sass with me… listen you naughty minx you should be home in bed cuz it was past my bed time…. how rude… however, I couldn’t get my smile off my face as I walked passed them and always I was picked up swung around and paid back let me tell you…

I think they put me in a rather tall empty hollow statue once…at least tried too upside down..the only problem is I recalled them saying as they laughed shit… she fitted… bloody hell…… It was at the other local which was unexpected cuz I didn’t see them…. but, they spotted me  and it was pay back…….bastards……..Screamed my heaD OFF…

In surprise… so damn funny…. so damn hot!!!

However, I was surrounded by rather well, good healthy vibrant, strong and let me say broody men which I knew I could only do this too them a couple of times before they got sick of me… these guys where too old but, far out they had white, white teeth… and it was worth it…just to see them smiling..

True story… Franny x

It’s Not What You Know, It’s How You Think


How we think affects everything from our ability to solve problems to how we understand meaning, value, and purpose.

There are many trends and patterns to be found in the past, and the Durants do a commendable job of highlighting them. The essence of their view, however, can be summarized by the following sentence from their short book:

The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character, the only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionists are philosophers and saints.

The Durants believed that despite all that has and continues to change in our external environment, the real battle is still internal. Real change doesn’t happen until we face our minds and our thoughts.

There is a fair degree of nuance that needs to be accounted for with a statement like that, and it ties into larger questions of what progress is and how subjects relate to objects, but the fact that our thoughts — and their ability to change our minds — play a pivotal role in our experience of reality is self-evident in ways that are common sense. How we think affects everything from our ability to solve problems to how we understand meaning, value, and purpose. The Durants made it their life’s work to improve this ability in the average person by disseminating information — mostly history and philosophy.

But information alone doesn’t make our thinking better. We also have to understand and update the way our minds process this information.

Our Minds Get Stuck in Habit Loops – if you wish Mindsets

Based on popular psychology literature, some thinkers have codified the way we form habits into a simple loop: a trigger, a routine, and a reward. We see something in our environment that sets off the trigger; the trigger leads to a routine we’ve internalized based on our past interactions in such an environment; finally, a reward at the end reinforces said routine.

If you observe this in your daily life, you’ll see that it’s roughly right. Our brain is a pattern-seeking survival machine, and habits are how it ensures that we don’t have to think too hard about what to do when familiar situations arise, letting us conserve energy.

With time, we start to recognize patterns around us, and we internalize these patterns so that we can reuse them in the future.

When it comes to the human mind, there are still no concrete theories of how thought emerges. We know, however, that thought plays a pivotal role in facilitating how we interact with the information that the Durants, for example, were trying to impart on us.

In the same way that we form habits of action relating to our environment, we also form habits of thought when it comes to how we think about the world. We are all born into a reality in which — at first, at least — we can’t even distinguish between our own separateness from the world. With time, however, we start to recognize patterns around us, and we internalize these patterns — like we do habits — so that we can reuse them in the future. Usually, if a pattern persists in our mental habits, it means that it is valuable in some sense. But this is only the case if we apply that pattern to the right information.

One of the reasons it’s so hard to change our minds about things is that our brains are stuck in these mental habit loops, which tend to look at information from a singular point of view. Our brains have learned something in one context, so they mistakenly apply it to others, mixing up the triggers that lead to routine thoughts.

We’re all capable of overpowering these habit loops, of course, but it’s very easy and productive to have them operating as the default mode. To think well, we must be aware of their limitations and to not let them restrict us.

Diversifying Thinking Patterns Changes Us

Each of us faces different challenges at different times in different ways based both on our biology and our unique cultural upbringing. No two people think exactly the same way because no two people have lived exactly the same life.

In fact, these different thinking patterns (mostly produced from our mental habit loops) are, in large part, what makes you, you and me, me. Our identities are borne from the convergence of these patterns. They create our subjective experience.

The more diverse our trained thinking patterns are, the more accurately we will be able to interact with information around us.

The Durants are getting at the idea that although we’ve seen so much external change throughout history, none of it truly makes a difference unless we calibrate our internal, subjective experience with that objective, external environment. Our subjective experience is limited, and using it — and the thinking patterns that create it — as a baseline for understanding the world is a limited way to go through life. It biases us in the wrong direction.

At its core, a thinking pattern is an implicit rule of thumb for the way we connect aspects of our reality. Given the complexity of this reality, the more diverse our trained thinking patterns are — and the better refined the associated triggers are — the more accurately we will be able to interact with information around us.

Because thinking patterns emerge from the mental habit loops we form as a response to experience, the only way to diversify them is to seek out new and conflicting encounters. We can do this through books, unfamiliar environments, or even hypothetical thought games.

Outside of extreme external circumstances, any time we’re struggling to solve a problem or lacking a sense of satisfaction and meaning, it’s due to the fact that our current thinking patterns are not adequately suited for the job. Instead, we have to remodel the form and shape of these patterns so they better fit the form and shape of the issue at hand.

How We Think Is What Matters

We’re born with a set of biological machinery, but we’re not born knowing how to use it.

In fact we only know what we only know until we learn something that teaches us something that we didnt realise and this is called a new thought or learnings..

As time goes on, however, we begin to make sense of our reality. We realize what kinds of food are good for us, we learn to avoid things that are painful, and we begin to get attached to those who can take care of us. With even more time, we develop fully concrete distinctions between the different objects around us and how we, as subjects, are to interact with them.

What keeps this process going is our pattern-seeking brain. It forms both habits of action and habits of thought that it embeds into our conscious and subconscious memories to reduce cognitive load.

One of the problems with this, however, is that it’s really easy for us to become stuck in mental habit loops that don’t accurately assess the situation at hand, leading to both problems of comprehension and satisfaction. To counteract this, we have to be intentional in diversifying our thinking patterns. We have to learn to recognize when we’re falling into a mismatched pattern of thought, and we have to then use that information to update how we make connections between the objects in our environment.

To say that all issues can be solved with a shift in thinking patterns ignores the larger picture, but there is a truth to what the Durants learned from history — how we think about what is happening around us is arguably more important than what is actually happening around us.

Remember, we can process what we think and once we experience something or do something or even have those moments that opens up our mind and makes us go.. oh shit, I think it relates to this experience.. then my lovelies the mind becomes clearer and your understanding is taught something new and it retains it for your next chapter.

This is all about growing and learning and changing your brain until it is re-wired to relate and understand other new patterns and hopefully more positive wiring and that will open up moments of bliss.

Good luck and Enjoy it.. because change is something we all do everyday and sometimes we do it when we dont realise that we are doing just that changing for a better more understanding future.

Repeat and Repeat and remember to pat yourself on the back…. because that is amazing…

Franny

Emotional Journey … if I can do it.. so can you?


I wonder often if we ever really live our lives fully?

I often think if we did what we should do or feel would it be easier?

I think the main problem with us as people we tend to over think or perhaps overreact with our emotions and we end up doing the opposite end of what we should be doing with ourselves.

We should act on what we do and be more present with those that we care about however, sometimes feeling something and doing it is just what we should be doing.

I know I am sounding like this “Delhi lambi”, spelt wrong I know, that is exactly what we are acting like fools and doing things opposite end of what we desire to do..  🙂

For example:

Our emotions and our true selves are one are we that scared of rejection that we don’t do what we should do?  Or are we just inept of love, desire, lust, excitement, endorsement, a soul lost in a bowl of Heinz soup with many ABCD and even E’s from our alphabet soup that we loved to eat as kidz!

Strange isnt it!
Or really is it?

I cannot live like being unemotional and so strict in being numb with my emotions, I am an emotional female that loves, the idea of loving and I wont change for the world!

If I had to be real it would be who I am and much, much more and those that I would love to join would be those that want to be part of something more, and to me that would be awesome!

However, we cannot move mountains and mountains cannot be built-in a day or a week or even a few years… if it was up to me it would be but, I am not someone who can make people move quicker, faster, I can only be me and if that is all I am to anyone then I guess my life is going to be a bit solo and a little bit lonely.hqdefault

To love is to be present within your soul and to be open to possibilities of hopefulness and openness who know what tomorrow brings.

What is your thoughts?

Do you think we are that fragile that we cannot open up and say it, do it, feel it, or even live it?

I want to live who wants to join me?

I want to be love who wants to join me?

I want to experience live with people who care about each other does that sound so bad?

What is it that we seem to be missing on this journey?

When will you open up and show me your heart?

 

Question time! Will the truth set you FREE???


  1. Why do we appease people?
  2. Why is it that we only say what others want us to say to one another?
  3. Why can’t we speak our minds and say “to the hell of it”?
  4. Is it so bad to make a comment on ones potential bull shit profiles?
  5. Or is it bad in general to say something that potentially could hurt another?
  6. I don’t think we do this on purpose (however, when it comes to me perhaps after years of bullshit I do have a rope that tends to be too long or too short for some)
  7. So, what is it that people seem to get so offended by comments that are either close to the truth or is the truth??

Rant: the height of rudeness

Here I am all 5 foot of nothingness and I seem to have a savage tongue that I do love to stick out from time to time…

Yes, to those that know me, hate me or even god helps us, loves me.. which I have to say isn’t many!!

I am rude, crude, revolting, hideously horrendous, I have a loud voice when used for good not evil… and I do love to banter with the biggest man or female that will challenge me…. yes, I know this is true…. some of you maybe shocked… yes…

But, it is true……..

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However, it is kinder to be kinder than to be a Monster that no one wants closer than a mountain… so, potentially, when chatting, speaking and even heaven knows when saying something that could hurt another.. try NOT too…..

Because, an animal will always be an animal…. and we are not animals.. are we..?????download (4)

Why do I Blog …What is the reason?


Well, to be honest I do blogs to get to understand those that are on here and this is for many reasons I have a very interesting past and I believe everything happens for a reason.

We tend to take our lives for granted and we never believe our lives are worth much which is sad because I myself have thought that many times in my own life.

I am not on here to be perfect nor am I on here to preach anything that isn’t the truth however, we do tend to have a bit of fun and poke fun at myself mostly or how I actually feel.

But, to be perfectly honest I do this to understand myself express how I feel about my eccentric life which really isn’t however, I have had life that most people would not be aware of and because I so want to complete my studying this may take me sometime as it can be difficult even for me to do.

It means I have to be present, honest, true to myself, those who read some of my piffle but, when I do write about my past sometimes it is easy and sometimes I will write it and I will delete it mainly because it scares the shit out of me for many reasons.

I don’t believe in wanting to dwell on my past but, what I do believe is our paths in our lives is very important and I so want to help those that have similar understandings and most of all help those that I know I can understand those that have walked a simular path as I have.

You see if it wasnt for some wonderful persons that need I say have helped me open my eyes to a lot of things which I thank them even though they may not think I have … So, thank you and I do love you all very much there may not be many that do know about my path but, I do wish for them to know that I do love them and I hold them very close to my heart and soul.. So, to my closest, dearest, imaginary, invisibly, visible and gorgeous souls always know that without those that held my hand and hugged my soul when I wept I thank you so very much with all of my heart and soul…

So, this is why I do this and want to help those that have been hurt through loosing a child through either divorce or wrongly accused for disgraceful ruling due to unfairly being accused or losing their child to suicide, death, tragic and even to those moms that had to let go of children due to rape, drugs, being hurt my others that should never occurred, have nearly hurt themselves due to their own despair and many other reasons that I wish to hold on further for my own growth and understanding.

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So, this is a little to why I want to be here and do what I do because I truly care for others that have been treated unfairly, truly hurtful and devastating occurrences that only those will understand inside themselves…

It is never easy nor is it something that anyone can do.. but, for me I have to do this because I want too and it is inside my own soul, self and most of all my heart cannot .. Not do it.. if that makes any sense..

So, yes, that is why I get on here rant and rave, do funny things and some really odd things it is never difficult it is frustrating because it can be hard to understand myself..

We all learn differently none of us are stupid nor are we psycho nor do we do this because someone else wants us too.. I do it because that is what I want to do… so as I grow and understand myself more I will share with you more as I grow..

Thank you, Franny xxx

When is it okay to forgive someone for “cheating’?


A cheating partner, a personal story of how we look at things in life!

What we as the partner would say that will allow us to say it’s okay?

Is it okay to cheat?

Have you ever been cheated on?

Why?

No?

Yes?

Maybe?

Perhaps it’s more about the why’s?

The justifcation of a partner that prefers to do it alone because they feel it’s “all too hard”, or is it because they require an outlet to be themselves?

Interesting and sad at the same time all because they feel it’s “them with the problem”, not you that cheats?

 

In your opinion, do you think we should forgive those that know no different?

Is it because they cannot be faithful?

Do they get bored?

What is your thoughts on partners that cheat?

When would you say it’s okay sweetheat I forgive you?

 

What would it take for you to forgive someone for cheating?

 

 

Question Time People… if I get enough people to answer.. I was thinking about doing this with Prizes…. but, let’s see if others Answer any of my questions….


So ladies, I have a few questions for you if you have the time to answer 🙂

I wanted to find out what others thing of our preferred preferances in our life and todays society as we call it…What is missing in todays social stream, or perhaps friendships or how about this.. what does it take for you to call a friend a friend?

Us girls seem to love having friendships with either other girls or some girls prefer friendships with men, am I right?

  •  Which do you prefer to have a chin wag with Men or Ladies mates?
  • Why do you prefer it?
  • And what is it that you like about your choice of chatter?

 

Let’s chat ladies and if men wish to answer that would be nice…… let’s see if we get a few to answer some simple however, could be an interesting banter. I would prefter you to be brutally honest…..

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