That my friends is the most healithiest thought you can let your mind do to your body!! A curiously beautiful open sexual mind is like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!

What have you got to fear if you have a dream, or perhaps a thought while day dreaming and it happens to be on the sexual fantacy side of things then ladies and gents you are able to open your mind to more than you think!!

Why on earth would you deny your mind to wonder about fantacies that excite you, excitment is a beautiful feeling, emotion to feel it opens those parts of your brain and retains memory of what could be a possibliity in your life.

These feelings, thoughts and desires are perfectly normal and very erotic and helps with your confidence to be a little more sexier and sassier when your mind is on that “wild side of thinking”.

I personally believe in sexual healing, I believe we don’t allow ourselves that possibility to experience and believe that sex is healthy and sex should never make you feel embarrised or ashamed of yourself.

So, click onto the above and have a listen she goes over a few areas that I like…and she speaks about sex as a normal activity and it is.. however, we tend to deny ourselves of allowing our minds to wonder…

We are surrounded by people who are offended by others that openly talk about their sex lives, mainly because they have never been taught that sex is a beautiful mind, body experience of unlimited desires and your all should embrace this and experience it.

What is your sexual fantasy and if you “could” would you do it as a porn with your partner?








Before I paste the above let’s firstly discuss “what if’s”, we all have this converstation in our lives at one stage of it we end up remonissing about what we could have done better!

By all means have the converstation but, remember this what happened a did happen and you did well, and if you didnt do well you going forward in your life will do well.

We self humilliate ourselves and others by regrets of if he didnt do this I would have done it better… or if this business did as I suggested then they would be still open and productive.

Okay, well, yes, maybe, possibly but NO!! we have to becareful with what we say to ourselves we have this BAD habbit of saying we are bad or they are bad or he/she is bad.

And let’s not discount our heart and how we could have been a better partner, so how do we alter our thinking pattern because thats the key.. Language, self blame, negitive affermations, finger point to deflect ourselves as perfect and telling everyone else is the enermy and should be killed..

Seriously people, next time your mindset is about to hang one of your loved ones out and beat them with a stick ask yourself…

  • Why are you so Negitive?
  • What happened to this discussion that turned out to be world war 3 of deflecting your blame onto someone else?
  • What made your shit stink lesser than the average bears shit?

The answer is usualy, well, because if it wasnt for them I would be a happy, how about saying this.. stop being such a sook and look around you and love yourself, then you will be set free.

I spent a beautiful night last night loving and talking about positive what if’s, the next day I get up happy and I get in return a person that is angry, why because we never seem to believe in anything that is good.. for longer than 12 hours.

We allow ourselves to fall back into feeling sorry and sad for ourselves and never patting ourselves on the backs and telling ourselves that we deserve to be happy, in a loving marriage and open to great possibilities…

Why is it so difficult to allow that simple wonderful beautiful feeling of positive love???

If it was food I would eat it up whole because I adore positive energy but, after years of what you cannot feel and you allow yourself a few years of growth and those walls start disintergrating then we end up vunrable (which is beautiful) and some reason our insecurities start to appear because our eyes and hearts are very alert and at times we then listen but we hear an old trigger of memory and that is, YOUR NOT WORTH IT!

Growth is important in living a full life but, we must do this everyday with those around you that you spend your life with.. because if you both dont then you both will go back to that security of negivate happiness of self blame and it’s your fault I am like this..

Remember you are loved and your are valued Stop allowing others to devalue your worth because at the end of the day to have a happy life we must validate ourselves as being worth it and stop this idea of denying that we are not deserving.

If your lucky enough and mature enough to accept love then it will be easier to see those who do the same about themselves.. they presence are intoxicating and very adictive but, once you allow a negitve thought to grow then you are disempowering self believe and then those that you drew in with go and those that feel neglected will be in your light… and then your inner worth will decline to nothing but, a empty vessel…

So, Make a choice …. positive energy with beautiful people or Negitive Nelly with the same mindset as you…… I know what I want more……..

Franny xx

Now here is some intersting facts…


In research published in the 1990s, psychologists asked people to list their biggest regrets in life and found that they tended to mention things they hadn’t done, rather than things they had.

Now, one of the psychologists behind that seminal research – Thomas Gilovich at Cornell University – together with his colleague Shai Davidai at The New School for Social Research – have looked into the content of people’s regrets, as opposed to how they were brought about (by action or inaction).

Across six studies, the pair present new evidence, published in Emotion, that our most enduring regrets concern not living up to our ideal selves (i.e. not becoming the person we wanted to be), as opposed to not living according to our “ought selves” (the person we should have been based on our duties and responsibilities).

The researchers surveyed hundreds of participants, including students, but mostly members of the public recruited on Amazon’s survey website.

For most of the studies, the researchers started out telling their recruits the difference between regrets concerning the “ideal self” (not achieving goals they had set for themselves, their dreams and ambitions) and “the ought self” (not meeting the norms and rules they had for themselves or fulfilling their obligations to others), before asking them to list, name and categorise their regrets.

Across the different studies, the participants said they experienced regrets concerning their ideal self more often (72 per cent vs. 28 per cent); they mentioned more ideal-self regrets than ought-self regrets when asked to list their regrets in life so far (57 per cent vs. 43 per cent); and when asked to name their single biggest regret in life, participants were more likely to mention a regret about not fulfilling their ideal self (76 per cent vs. 24 per cent mentioning an ought-self regret).

Gilovich and Davidai next tested their belief that a key reason why ideal-self regrets are more enduring is that we are less likely to take practical and psychological action at the time to repair these regrets, compared with ought-self regrets.

For instance, presented with hypothetical ideal-self regrets (such as forsaken dreams or romantic interests not pursued) and hypothetical ought-self regrets (like failing to visit a dying relative or infidelity), participants said a typical person was more likely to take action, psychological and practical, to repair the ought-self regrets, such as by finding a silver lining or doing something to dampen the regret, than to repair ideal-self regrets.

In a follow-up study, participants described actual regrets they had, either ideal-self related or ought-self related, and said what they’d done to cope with them. Those asked to describe ought-self regrets rated them as having been more urgent and said they’d taken more steps to cope, including changing their behaviour, rectifying the situation or undoing it entirely.

Finally, the researchers switched things up and asked 157 more participants to recall a resolved regret or an unresolved regret (“unfinished business”) – they found those asked to write about the former were more likely to describe an ought-self regret, while those asked to write about the latter were more likely to describe an ideal-self regret.

Gilovich and Davidai and are not saying that the only reason that ideal-self regrets are more enduring is because we are less likely to attend to them and resolve them, but they think this is a key factor in why they are generally more bothersome and come more readily to mind. Other possible reasons (not tested in the current research) are that our ideal selves are simply less obtainable than our ought selves, more abstract, and less context dependent, meaning regrets pertaining to them are triggered more often.

“Our work is the first to show that people’s most prominent life regrets more often involve failures to live up to their ideal self than their ought self,” the researchers concluded. And they added the work “… is the first to document the role played by behavioural and psychological coping mechanisms in people’s tendency to regret their failures to live up to their ideal selves.”

The new results are backed up by anecdotal accounts from patients nearing the end of their lives, described in a book by palliative nurse Bronnie Ware in 2013: “When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled,” she wrote. “Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices that they had made, or not made.”

Can we take any practical insights from the latest findings? Gilovich and Davidai urge caution, suggesting that the most advisable way to live will depend on how much weight you place on your ought self vs. your ideal self.

If you place a premium on your ought self, you “would be wise to minimise [your] regrets by thinking twice before forging ahead [and seizing the moment]” they suggest. On the other hand, “if one is an adventurous soul guided by her ideal self, she might indeed end up happier by seizing the day and not looking back. As we have shown in this research, a person focused on her ideal self is more likely to lose sleep over her ‘wouldas’ and ‘couldas’ than her ‘shouldas’.”

download (8)

A popular evolutionary psychology theory states that during fertile periods, women become more interested in men who use dominant masculine behaviour, as this signals they are likely to provide good genes for any offspring.

A University of Goettingen team have now conducted the largest ever test of this idea, published as a pre-print at PsyArxiv.

The “good genes ovulatory shift hypothesis” or GGOSH suggests that during fertile phases of the menstrual cycle women should be especially attracted to potential mates who are likely to provide good genes to their offspring.

The hypothesis further states that such genes are signalled through men’s sexual assertiveness and confidence, via behaviours like flirting, smiling and directly gazing at women.

The evidence for GGOSH is sketchy. There are two relevant meta-analyses, both published in 2014 – one in Psychological Bulletin, the other in Emotion Review – but only the first supported the hypothesis.

Enter the new study, led by Julia Jünger.

Employing a stronger design than past research, her team tested the same subjects repeatedly (at different times in their cycle) rather than relying on different participants. They also used larger sample sizes and collected hormone data via saliva samples to validate the self-reports of where the women were on their cycle.

The study was also pre-registered and the data made available for other researchers to review.

The 157 participants, heterosexual women aged 18-35, took part twice, in the fertile and the luteal (non-fertile) phases of their menstrual cycle.

On each occasion, the women saw a series of 30-second video clips of single men in real interactions with an attractive woman they’d just met (however the woman was not visible in the clips).

The men’s behaviour varied in the amount they smiled, the time they spent gazing at the woman’s face, how much they spoke during the clip, and other flirtatious actions.

During the more fertile period of their cycle, the women found the men more sexually attractive – on average, they were more interested in pursuing a potentially short-term and purely sexual relationship with them (a pattern that was mediated by the levels of the hormone estriadol in their saliva: more estriadol correlated with more attraction), and they were more interested in long-term relationships with them too.

This fertility-attraction link confirms a well-established finding, but the GGOSH makes a much more specific prediction – that women will find dominant, flirtatious behaviours in particular more attractive during fertility, and here the data suggested otherwise. Eye contact, confident body language, smiles – none of these mattered more during greater fertility, against the predictions of the hypothesis.

The GGOSH also predicts that good-gene markers will be particularly valued by fertile-phase women who are already in a relationship (the idea is that they already have a safe nest in which to raise a kid, so will not be too fussed that dominant mates with good genes may be less reliable). In fact, the dominant “good genes” behaviours weren’t any more attractive to partnered women during their fertile phase. This is two firm strikes against the hypothesis. 

However, the women’s relationship status did make a difference to their overall levels of attraction in the men – when the researchers conducted their analyses separately for partnered and single women, they found that it was only partnered women whose overall sexual interest in the men increased during the fertile phase of their cycle, perhaps, the researchers suggested, because having a partner they can rely on to raise a family increases women’s interest in sex (though it would be easy to have come up with an ad-hoc evolutionary explanation for the complete opposite result, so I would suggest waiting for this finding to be replicated before drawing conclusions).

Returning to the GGSOH, while this research reaffirmed that the ovulatory cycle affects women’s interest in sex, thanks to shifts in hormones, it does not support the hypothesis that it swivels their minds towards a different object of desire. So if any aspiring pick-up gurus were hoping to build a creepy philosophy around switching up your style at points in the cycle, they will be disappointed. And women shouldn’t be concerned that during times when their body is amping up sexual desire it is also dictating who that desire should be projected towards. 


Okay, Ladies, Gents, Kinksters and Sexy Minxes.. Have I got a Deal for you!!


Listed below are links to ongoing studies of human sexuality by researchers around the world. You are eligible to participate in as many as you would like, depending upon whether you meet the selection criteria. 

If you are a researcher and would like your study added to this page, please email a one-paragraph description modeled after the postings below to

This paragraph should include the title and weblink/contact information for your survey, a sentence about the selection criteria (e.g., age, gender, or sexuality restrictions), and a sentence or two describing what will be asked of participants.

Although it will not be posted on this page, please email the anticipated end date for data collection, as well as a note indicating whether your study has been approved by an IRB or ethics committee.

Thank you for your contributions to the science of sex!

  • Exploring Courtship Flirting Behaviours (Kwantlen Polytechnic University) –Eligibility: Participants of all gender identities and sexual orientations who are over the age of 16 are welcome to participate.

Description: The purpose of this study is to examine courtship behaviours (i.e., flirting) and how those behaviours vary amongst individuals.

  • Participating in this study requires answering some questions about how you have responded to and interacted with a person that you were sexually attracted to in in the past.
  • You will also be required to answer some questions about yourself (i.e., demographic questions such as your age, sexual orientation, and relationship status) and about your views of gender.
  • This study will take approximately 15 minutes of your time. [Added April 23, 2018]


The goal of this study is to develop a survey to assess sexual function after prostate cancer treatment specific for gay or bisexual men.

Participation involves completion of a set of questions online with focus on sexual quality of life.

There are also questions regarding general demographics and prostate cancer diagnosis. This study will take about 20-60 minutes. [Added April 15, 2018]


  • Exploring Attraction to Middle-Aged Men (Kwantlen Polytechnic University)Eligibility:
  • Female participants 16 years of age or older who only have sex with men. Description:
  • The purpose of this study is to examine different variables that may be involved in women’s attraction to middle-aged men.
  • Participating in this study requires answering some questions about how you might respond to, and interact with, a fictional person.
  • You will also be required to answer some questions about yourself (e.g., demographics like your age, sexual orientation, and relationship status), about your own personality, and about your feelings toward a variety of sexual activities.
  • This study will take approximately 15 minutes of your time. [Added April 2, 2018]


  • Willingness to Engage in Sexual Behavior (University of Arkansas) – Eligibility: You must be 18 or older to participate.
  • Description:
  • The purpose of this online study is to better understand how the process of willingness to engage in sexual behavior unfolds.
  • Participation will take approximately 30 minutes. [Added March 31, 2018]


  • Married Women and Names (University of Arkansas) –
  • Eligibility: 
  • Self-identified women who are currently married to a self-identified man. Participants must be 18 years of age or older and fluent in English.
  • Description:
  • The purpose of this study is to better understand women’s decision-making process regarding whether or not to change their names after marriage.
  • Participation will take approximately 30 minutes. [Added March 15, 2018]


  • Perceptions and Evaluations of Genital Arousal Sensations (Queen’s University) –
  • Eligibility:
  • Individuals of all gender expressions and sexual orientations are invited to participate in an anonymous online questionnaire.
  • Participants must be 18 years of age or older, fluent in English, and not currently experiencing any sexual difficulties.
  •  Description:
  • The purpose of this study is to better understand the physical sensations that individuals experience during sexual arousal.
  • Participation will take approximately 30 to 45 minutes, with a prize draw available as a thank you for your time. [Added March 11, 2018]


  • Daily Relationship Experience Study (York University)
  • We are looking for couples over the age of 18 who have have been in a relationship for 2+ years and currently live together and are sexually active.
  • Participants must have daily access to a computer with internet to participate in a brief survey every day for 21 days regarding their relationship experiences. Participants are rewarded a $60CAD/$48USD Amazon gift card for completion. Email for more information. [Added March 11, 2018]


  • Reputational Punishment in Female Relations (Kwantlen Polytechnic University)
  • Eligibility: only FEMALE participants, who must be 16 years of age or older. Description:
  • The purpose of this study is to examine different variables that may be involved in women’s interpersonal relationships with other women.
  • Participating in this study requires answering some questions about how you might respond to, and interact with, a fictional person.
  • You will also be required to answer some questions about yourself and your own personality. This study will take approximately 15 minutes. [Added February 27, 2018]


  • Motivations and Experiences in Plyamorous Relationships (University of Western Ontario)
  • We are looking for participants who are over the age of 18, identify as polyamorous and/or practice polyamory, who live in Canada or the United States, currently have at least one partner, either have at least one additional partner or looking for an additional partner.
  • All genders and sexual orientations welcome.
  • The study is open to all forms of polyamory.
  • If you are eligible to participate, we ask that you complete a monthly, online survey (approximately 30-45 minutes) for one year (i.e., 12 surveys in total). Due to the length of the survey, we will ask you to report on your relationships with up to two partners.
  • We encourage partners to participate as well. Please email  for more information [Added February 1, 2018]


  • Communication in BDSM/Kink Sexual Encounters Study (University of Kansas) – Participants will be asked to complete an anonymous survey asking about sexual experiences involving BDSM/Kink sexuality. Specifically, we want to understand how people communicate what is OK or not OK in the context of BDSM/kink sexuality. In order to participate, you must meet the following criteria: be over 18, have at least two sexual experiences involving BDSM/kink behavior, and be willing to fill out a 15-30 minute anonymous online survey. [Added January 23, 2018]


  • Insider vs. Outsider’s Views of Romantic Relationships (Acadia University and St. Francis Xavier University) – Restrictions: (1) At least 18 years or older and (2) currently in a romantic relationship. We are interested in learning more about how a person’s own perception of their romantic relationship compares to their friends’ and family members’ perceptions. The objective of this research project is to attempt to understand how people give feedback to, and receive feedback from, their friends and family about different romantic relationships. To participate, you’ll complete an hour long online survey about your perceptions of what others think about your romantic relationship and how you respond to those opinions. [Added January 22, 2018]


  • The Dating App Hook-Up Study (Kwantlen Polytechnic University) – Restrictions: (1) Open to men who have sex with men only, (2) Participants must be 16 years of age or older, and (3) Participants must have dating app experience (e.g., Grindr). The purpose of this study is to assess individual and environmental factors that may influence ratings of attractiveness towards a series of potential romantic or sexual partners on a dating app. Participation requires that you read a short vignette, answer a question about the vignette, then complete a psychometric measure of sensation-seeking behavior. Participation will take approximately 15 minutes. [Added January 15, 2018]


  • The Attitudes towards Casual Sex Study (Kwantlen Polytechnic University) – Restrictions: Open to all individuals over the age of 16 years. The purpose of this study is to examine the relationship between sexual history and attitudes about sex in order to better our understanding of human sexuality. Participants will read about a sexual scenario involving a fictitious person and will then answer questions about what they have read. The survey is an anonymous, online survey and should take no more than 30 minutes to complete. [Added January 15, 2018]


  • Persons Raised By Parents Who Practiced CNM Study (Alaska Pacific University) – Participants will be asked to complete confidential, 1-2 hour-long interviews using, a HIPAA-compliant video chat. The study’s goal is to capture themes regarding how this knowledge about one’s parents is perceived to have influenced interviewees’ current relationship attitudes, beliefs, expectations, and approaches. Participant criteria include: Non-Alaska residents, 18 years of age or older, who grew up with parents who practiced CONSENSUAL non-monogamy. Interviewees must have been informed by their parents at some point in participants’ childhood or teen years that they participated in this relationship style. If you are interested in participating, please contact Emily Mechtenberg at [Added January 3, 2018]


  • Sexual Experiences and Familial Support in Adults (University of Arkansas) – This survey is only offered in English and is open to all adults 18+ years old in the U.S. Participants can choose to include their email addresses at the end of the study to enter into a drawing of one of TEN $50 eGiftcards. This survey should take between 10-15 minutes to complete. It will ask about sensitive issues regarding sexual experiences. [Added February 6, 2017]


  • Sexual Attitudes Survey (Ball State University) – This study examines people’s attitudes toward and experiences with a variety of sexual activities. Participation will take less than 20 minutes of your time and requires only that you complete a brief survey about your sexual attitudes, personality traits, and sexual history. In order to participate in this study, you must be at least 18 years of age. [Added October 6, 2016]


  • Sexual Fantasy Survey (Ball State University) – This study is designed to further our understanding of people’s sexual fantasies.  The only requirement for participation is that you are at least 18 years of age or older. Participation will take less than 30 minutes of your time and requires only that you complete a brief survey that asks questions about your sexual fantasies, personality traits, sexual attitudes, and sexual history.  You will not be asked to provide any personally identifying information and all data will be collected anonymously. [Added August 23, 2016]


Please direct all comments and questions about specific studies to the researcher(s) associated with those studies. Sex and Psychology is not responsible for the content or quality of any studies listed on this page. Although researchers must certify that their studies have been approved by an IRB prior to having them posted here, Sex and Psychology does not monitor compliance with IRB policies and procedures and is not responsible directly or indirectly for any loss or damage associated with participation in any of these studies.

If you are not familiar with Redhotpie then I will tell you a bit about this amazing kinky and definitely Horney dating site that a lot of open-minded people love to go and meet new kinky-minded people and it seems to work wonders.

I love the forums you will notice some are dated and are a little old but very interesting to say the least I have learned a great deal and although you do have to put yourself as an available couple, it is interesting of how open minded you can become if you allow yourself that kinky option.

This lady which I will not name put a bit of a winged about a man she met to hook up for sex this is what she said for advice…

I just had a fella over for some Friday night fun (I’ve been messaging him for a bit, and he apparently loves eating girls out so I was keen to meet him) and it went the usual way again.

Started kissing, then I move down to give him head for about 10 minutes, then he gets me to hop on while I’m dry!

He didn’t touch my breast or butt, or anything during kissing or oral sex so it feels like I had no stimulation what so ever! 

In the end, he couldn’t keep it hard so I just said let’s stop and I got dressed, He got so shitty he spat his gum out on my floor when he left! I’m puzzled!?!?

I’m a little overweight but he’s seen my pictures and it’s the first thing listed in my description.

I have good hygiene, I shave my pubic hair and I just had a shower before he came over.

I don’t understand why they say they love to give Oral sex and then don’t do it!?!? 

I guess this is a little bit of a rant (I’m so angry about this guy spitting his gum out on my floor! Like what a dick!)

But, I’ve been wondering for a long time if I’m the only one this is happening too? Where you give and don’t get back. 


Here were my thoughts and responses to the above angry unsatisfied young female

So this content is very interesting because firstly the girl is very young so her young bouncy ideas are if I do you, then I expect you to do me.

So, her anger was that she found that because she did him, well, then my opinion as she is extremely naïve with her sexual understanding is that “or you could use the old term of “Do unto others as one would do onto you”.

But, in fact I was a little alarmed about the poor fellow and his obvious uneasy awkward and guilty behaviour I would have noticed alarm bells pretty much straight away I would not have made any suggestion or apparent no attending to his nether regions now I do say this because I am much older, wiser and very much the foot is in my mouth before you can say hello..

Call this behaviour (mine) what you want but provoking his already uncomfortable demeanour wasn’t going to raise the post anytime soon by his lack of sexual chemistry or more not happy being here and I refuse to take part of any type of emotion.

So, what I said to her to use this as a experience if it had affected her slightly or more than that she should go seek help and then leave this alone because at the end of the day his business is his and his manner was definitely something that “triggered” his anger towards her in such a rude and how dare you manner.

When we don’t truly understand ourselves and those episodes occur often this is an alarm for yourself to know that not everything is all well inside yourselves especially the  “mind”, now this powerhouse of a gift that we all have is very powerful indeed because it does store your past, your present and until the day you die.

You really need to understand that triggering an episode of this type being anger and unresponsive behaviour is about perhaps therapy and understanding your path of where your walked so basically if this occurs ongoing then this is definitely a defining moment that your mind is surely trying to protect you or tell you something this probably is best known as the Subconscious that loves to protect you, and sometime is quite the little bastard that makes you go Warning, memories are in your vicinity.. so back away from the smallish lady that is demanding sexual needs to be filled.

So, because we are only taught what we know we don’t ever think further of our own needs as humans in that kind of environment she was simply going I swap spit with you, then please do the same back.. AMEN ha!!

My thoughts are some young naïve learning she was very lucky that things didn’t go pair shaped further and he left and all she is left with the anger of him not closing the deal.

However, not so easy for him and his needs as he probably is aware but, as a man rather than ask which is valued as a weakness he will probably shelf this experience and do the same as her .. blame her for his behaviour.

Because what you don’t know is what you don’t know right……and that is sad because as I know how difficult it was for me when I had triggers, I went into a very deep hole of guilt, self blame and basically total mayhem of confusion because I never was given those beautiful gifts that can help thousands of people live a wonderful, sassy, smart-mouthed life like me now.. (mind I need to perhaps learn to tone that mouthy sassy, smarty pants behaviour down)

So, if this story ever triggers a healthy memory please use it and recognise that they could need help.

Hope I explained this story to you.. would like to hear from you if you enjoyed it or not.




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Normally, I love Friday’s but, today I felt a little off and then I felt a lot off!!

The doctor yesterday said that I would have these up’s, downs, sideways, he then said which internally I thought “oh Shit”, that this is only the beginning!!

Fuck, that pissed me off, I was a little confused how I got here so damn quickly!!

I still cannot believe that I will be 50, trust me it isn’t the age, it’s that feeling of NOOOOOOO, this is so unkind I am only just starting to understand and that Is the Hot tipper, that is the upsetting part!!

I have been feeling very raw with my total sense of being, it’s like the Earth wants to swallow me up and I want to go (not a bad thing) its more of a grounded or like my senses are all so tender and my eyes are so damn open a little bit of me wants to squint them shut!

Everything, seems so cereal, like I have said, many times I felt like Movie, where he is the STAR and discovers that everything was fake!


I recall his last words, even though he used humour to try and covered it up however, his eyes gave the hurt and that feeling of betrayal staring right at you!

When you start to enjoy your journey, your strength starts to open up like a flower on a hot Summers day, it seems like “perfect”, then sometimes as my hormones have been chaotic with my brain (some would say she isn’t so different) but, I am, my feelings are more pure, without fear, judgement, but, then with this feeling I can also feel the people around me and I went from smiling to frowning deep inside myself.

A part of me was worried and a little of me feared that “once again” I have to do my shorter journey on my own.. and that just upset me and made me feel very insecure let me tell you that feeling of being open to feel that emotion isn’t fun!

I told my sister-in-law that it took me such a long time to build those walls, it wasn’t that I want them up it was that they where not up and that made me scared that those who I had thought was walking with me.. kind of stopped still and I was still walking looking up happy, then suddenly I looked back and saw their faces of fright or that there feet were stuck to the floor like they could not walk or in fact that they didn’t want too!!

Being Single isn’t the scary part for me.. that is the easiest part

However, Walking a Journey SOLO, now that is like you might as well slit my wrists and check me into the next cemetery vacancy.. CUZ, I am not going down this path again by myself 

Alone is fine… for example sitting alone reading a book…

Not walking a beautiful path solo with no one to share it with. NOW??


I have always walked solo, and for the first time in my entire life as a person I had others walking with me and I felt amazing, I still do but, today I did have these “cold moments that perhaps I was wrong and I was walking alone once again”.

Insecurity, doesn’t work well with me, at all, in my past it was like everyday of my young life, I had to work at altering my entire personality to be someone that I was not born to be and that was HARD!!

I literately, created or invented a separate person that had strength and this emptiness that I cannot even describe to you who this girl “thing” was!

With each hurting experience I changed, I became harsh, harder, until “nothing” !!

I have this ability (sounds really stupid) If I allow myself to bond with another its like I can see their soul, it’s weird, I get these feelings of chilled moments, then I will see something not so good in someone, and that isn’t something easy to witness.

There is a lot of reasons for people to be who and how they walked their path and I try not to judge because I have seen this within me, the best way I can describe this picture is kind people will always be kind people.

Those traits that kind people have are never erased from their selves, then for a moment in their body language, or speech or even a turning glance I go “there, OH, No”.  It takes my breath away sometimes, because that “PURE PAIN”, that is “PURE AGONY” that appears so quickly like the wind because they have created this part of them down to a perfect tea of their own Protection!!

These people are beautiful souls, but, some, will NEVER LET YOU IN!!!!!

I get that feeling of self hate, of never wanting to trust someone with your heart again because you know that they will cut it up and put it in a wheelie bin…

They are my people, I am their people, however, it is the most hardest journey in the WORLD for us to believe each other not because we don’t like one another but, because we are the SAME as one another..

Hurt, beautiful, kind, Nasty, patient, cruel, selfless, selfish, do you see or understand that you, me, us are exactly the same… Why keep hurting each other and STOP for 1 damn moment and STOP for a minute!!

Stop for a minute!!!!!!!!!!!


Who need to give one another a break and allow ourselves that chance to live… and have a happy life open, to a endless possibility of being happy, laughing loudly and live your life free from stress, fear, all those revolting anchors that hold us all down and say to us on a constant basis YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH

I say BULLSHIT, we ARE…. and we WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are not those people who hurt others… stop going forward to them.. and start loving yourself and those that love you…

This is a very short life we are alive…. Please, don’t make it even shorter… cuz, that to me isnt living that is something entirely different.. its called being BLIND

If you understand what I said above I would love to hear from you.. both if you wish or others that have felt that above…






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Why Sex and Intimacy Coaching?

Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the mind that created it.”

That’s why we all sometimes need a coach, or mentor, or someone that will be able to help others like both men and women who love their kinks and take them seriously, passionately and darn right naughty right!!

Someone who has our highest good always in sight and has the ability to open their minds curiously in a safe environment for you.

A small group of individuals who sees and believes in our capacity for pleasure, joy and fulfillment.

Those Mentors that have gone on their own sexual journey can help you with yours  and who has had to walk their own talk to enjoy a sensually gratified life and can guide us all.

Our Vision in the next two years is about mapping out the best Adventous with the most Professional manner that we will provide you all with the right tools as “Couples”, Singles, people who might need a little help in moving forward in a safe place that we will create for you all or those that tempt to attend our Workshops..

My role will be to provide couples with a Male Mentor by my side who has the same vision as that I hope we all will and help others form an amazing Community of Like-Minded, grounded, real people who have a high level of respect, and loyality to make this the most amazing experience those that attend our Retreats and of course learn how to become the best sexual empowered people that we will make you.

So stay tuned and as time gets shorter “always moving forward” you will see other Mentors that will their expertise on this Blog and you can interact and build your own rapport with them.

So, until next time Kinksters, be kind to yourself.. Peace out Fx


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Sometimes, one of the best ways of making things interesting in the bedroom can be as simple as a game of make-believe with your partner.

Make-believe only works however when all participants understand that if the girl felt like she ended up as the 3rd wheel and was really never given the benefit that her honesty and loyalty and heaven forbid her love was never validated ever… I really have to say why on earth did you even include her in your life?

Had no idea that TRUST is still an issue!!!

THAT felt like someone drives a dagger into her heart and laughed!!!

So much for pipe dreams… so yes kids do play with toys.. pity they made her out of clay because they didn’t trust enough to play.

As they say you can drag an Asshole to water but if the Dom refuses to Drink then it wasnt meant to be.

Always offer, ask, and with luck, love, trust, honesty and kindness.. they would be your best friend and love you to bits of you cared enough about her..

 This kind of erotic role-playing can really bring some creative life into your sexual explorations and create an outlet for expression that is unique in its nature.

There are literally infinite variations of erotic role-playing scenarios;

  • the only limit to what can be done with this kind of activity is the limit of one’s own abstract desires and fantasies.

People have come up with a great variety of different role-playing variations, but there are certainly still the traditional favourites such as police officer, school girl, and school teacher role-playing fantasies.

When preparing to engage in an erotic role-playing scenario, all participants should have a thorough discussion with each other about what is going to happen and what to expect with a given role-playing experience.

This kind of effective communication can help to ensure that everyone involved in an erotic role-playing endeavour will feel safe and secure during the event. For the benefit of erotic role-playing enthusiasts, as well as those individuals who feel compelled to try this type of exceptional role-playing, some of the basics of this enjoyable erotic practice will be briefly discussed.


Equipment Used in Erotic Role Playing

Many times in an erotic role-playing situation, having different types of props or sex toys available for use can be an enjoyable variable to have in the mix. Some people tend to believe that all sex toys and erotic role-playing props are created equal, but this is not always true.

This is to say that some sex toys can actually be made out of materials not suitable for penetration or other sexual acts; these models should be avoided at all cost.

The problem is that many erotic props and sex toys are manufactured and sold under the pretext that they are merely novelty items, and this way, manufacturing companies can use whichever cheap and potentially hazardous materials they want to in their items, and not be held accountable if someone gets hurt by their product.

For this reason, always make sure to research the different vibrators, plugs, massagers, and other sexual props and toy items before making a purchase. Always make sure that all of the toys and props that will be used for penetration related erotic activities are 100% able to be sterilised.

This can ensure that all of your sex toys and props will be able to stay safe and clean even after being used many times. Also, sexual lubricants can be an important component of any safe and healthy erotic role-playing adventure.


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Role-playing, when broken down into its simplest components, is something that many people do as part of their daily lives. Acting one way when inside we feel totally the opposite, is a form of role-playing that many of us can relate to on some level.

When put into an erotic context, role-playing often becomes a precious outlet for an infinite variety of different acts of sexual fantasy and imaginative erotic make-believe. For couples or other participating groups, erotic role play is something that depends on effective communication to be a positive experience for everyone involved.

This is because erotic role-playing can sometimes become very real regarding how it makes participants feel; for this reason, it has the capacity for both wildly enjoyable experiences, and also ones that can potentially be unpleasant depending on the given circumstances of the erotic role-playing scenario in question.

For many couples, erotic role play has the power to put some new spark into old sexual relationships, and really change the dynamics of an erotic interaction.

Reasons to Experiment with Erotic Role Play

One of the main reasons to consider experimenting with erotic role-play activities is that it will often give its participants a chance to escape from their default sexual identity, and enter a realm of sensual exploration that can be very unique and exciting.

For some people, erotic role play scenarios can alleviate some of the anxieties, reservations, or inhibitions sometimes caused by new sexual adventures, by giving the participants a different perspective from which to observe or be part of the sexual role play scenario being acted out.

Experimenting with erotic role play can also serve as a stress reliever for some couples, depending on what types of scenarios are being acted out.

For example, if the wife in a couple feels as though she is too subordinate to her husband in their relationship. A real erotic role-playing an angle for them to consider would be one in which the wife gets to act out a kind of dominant sexual fantasy, such as a female law enforcer or something else of that nature.

This can often time relieve stress in a relationship, as well as create a sense of mutual respect and equilibrium as well.



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